From: STUMP_D "Fr.Dave" 6-MAY-1998 22:54:01.22 To: terry CC: Subj: FWD: Fw: Humor - Who's on Unix? From: STUMP_D "Fr.Dave" To: terry Cc: STUMP_D Subj: FWD: Fw: Humor - Who's on Unix? From: IN%"Nesta_F@spcvxa.spc.edu" "Fred Nesta" 6-MAY-1998 18:43:31.71 To: IN%"STUMP_D@spcvxa.spc.edu" "Fr.Dave Stump" Subj: Fw: Humor - Who's on Unix? >ABBOTT & COSTELLO MEET UNIX >Costello calls Abbott with some questions about UNIX: >Costello: What is the command that will tell me the revision code of a >program ? >Abbott: Yes, that's correct. >Costello: No, what is it ? >Abbott: Yes. >Costello: So, which is the one ? >Abbott: No. 'which' is used to find the program. >Costello: Stop this. Who are you ? >Abbott: Use 'who am i' not 'who r yoo'. You can also 'finger yoo' to >get information about yoo'. >Costello: All I want to know is what finds the revision code ? >Abbott: Use 'what'. >Costello: That's what I am trying to find out. Isn't that true ? >Abbott: No. 'true' gives you 0. >Costello: Which one ? >Abbott: 'true' gives you 0. 'which programname' >Costello: Let's get back to my problem. What program? How do I >find it? >Abbott: Type 'find / -name it -print' to find 'it'. Type 'what >program' to get the revision code. >Costello: I want to find the revision code. >Abbott: You can't 'find revisioncode', you must use 'what >program'. >Costello: Which command will do what I need? >Abbott: No. 'which command' will find 'command'. >Costello: I think I understand. Let me write that. >Abbott: You can 'write that' only if 'that' is a user on your >system. >Costello: Write what? >Abbott: No. 'write that'. 'what program'. >Costello: Cut that out! >Abbott: Yes. those are valid files for 'cut'. Don't forget the >options. >Costello: Do you always do this ? >Abbott: 'du' will give you disk usage. >Costello: HELP! >Abbott: 'help' is only used for Source Code Control System >(SCCS). >Costello: You make me angry. >Abbott: No, I don't 'make me' angry but I did 'make programname' >when I was upset once. >Costello: I don't want to make trouble, so no more. >Abbott: No 'more'? 'which' will help you find 'more'. Every >system has 'more'. >Costello: Nice help! I'm confused more now! >Abbott: Understand that since 'help' is such a small program, it >is better not to 'nice help'. and 'more now' is not allowed but >'at now' is. Unless of course 'now' is a file name. >Costello: This is almost as confusing as my PC. >Abbott: I didn't know you needed help with 'pc'. Let me get you >to the Pascal compiler team. > > >