X-NEWS: spcvxb rec.arts.drwho: 12825 Relay-Version: VMS News - V6.0-3 14/03/90 VAX/VMS V5.4; site spcvxb.spc.edu Path: spcvxb.spc.edu!rutgers!cs.utexas.edu!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu!usenet.ins.cwru.edu!cwns5!xx138 Newsgroups: rec.arts.drwho Subject: Re: Invitation to Submit Material Message-ID: <1992May5.132353.17963@usenet.ins.cwru.edu> From: mokry@ctr.columbia.edu (Robert Mokry) Date: 5 May 92 13:23:53 GMT Sender: news@usenet.ins.cwru.edu Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, Ohio, (USA) Posted-By: xx138 (tlg4 - TJ Goldstein) Nntp-Posting-Host: cwns5.ins.cwru.edu Edited-By: xx138 (tlg4 - TJ Goldstein) Lines: 209 Well, here's a little thing relating to Dr.Who (as well as various cartoon characters) that I wrote about two years ago. At that time I posted it to rec.arts.drwho, but I doubt anyone remembers. --Robert ------------------- Since the BBC has put Dr. Who on hold for the moment, there has been some talk about the possible actors who would play the doctor when the show comes back (we hope). May I suggest the following: Barney: Gee, I don't know Fred, do you think this deserted quarry is safe? Fred: Safe? Safe? SAFE? It is just as safe as flying in the Tardis. Barney: Yeah, that's what worries me. Fred: I know this strange and forbidding landscape unnerves you, but I as a time lord am used to these things. It won't hurt you. I promise. Barney: I wasn't worried about the landscape, because it looks a lot like the old BBC gravel pit. But what if one of those boulders should fall on us? Fred: Then I shall crush it with my irrisistible charm. Barney: Fred, I saw something move behind that rock! [Mr. Slate appears from behind the rock.] Fred: Oh no, it's the Master! Mr. Slate: All right, you shiftless freeloaders, I've got you now. I shall use my tissue compression eliminator on you. [Mr. Slate produces a bird, and points the bird's bill at our heroes.] Mr. Slate: Now you shall never stop me again, and I shall rule the universe! Bird: Oh, no, here we go again. Mr. Slate: Shut up! I am the Master, and I will not tolerate any backtalk from my weapons. [Mr. Slate repeatedly squeezes the bird, causing it to open and close its mouth. For some inexplicable reason, this causes the rock behind our heroes to shrink to the size of a pebble.] Barney: Fred, let's get the heck out of here! Fred: In a minute. Barney: Fred, why do you have that goofy smile on your face and what are you holding in your pocket? [Fred doesn't reply, but continues to smile at Mr. Slate, who continues to squeeze his bird.] Mr. Slate: Die, Die, Die! Barney: Fred, I've found the Master's Tardis! It is disguised as a boulder! [Suddenly, Mr. Slate's pants fall down.] Barney: Fred, did you do that? Fred: Yes, I produced a local spacial deformation, causing the Master's belt buckle to become undone. Barney: But how did you do it? [Fred takes a large strange looking fish out of his pocket.] Fred: I used my sonic hammer-head shark. Barney: I don't see how a hammer could undo a belt buckle. Fred: My dear Barney, when you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail. Barney: Hu, hu, hu, hu, that's very funny Fred; now let's get out of here before the Master gets his pants up. We can use the Master's Tardis. [Barney disappears into the Master's boulder-shaped Tardis, leaving Fred alone in the quarry.] Fred: Barney? Where are you? I wasn't paying attention. Which boulder is the Master's Tardis? [Fred runs against one boulder after another (with the appropriate sound effects). Finally he disappears into the correct one, and falls to the floor inside the Master's Tardis.] Barney: Hu, hu, hu, hu, Fred: Shut up Rubble, and let's dematerialize before the Master appears. [Fred fondles various small animals on the console, causing the kangaroo in the center of the console to jump up and down.] Barney: Good thing that's over with. Fred: Over? Over? OVER? My dear Barney, this is only the beginning! YABBA-DABBA-DOOOOO! Will our heroes be able to successful pilot the Master's Tardis? Will they be able to find their own Tardis? Where are Betty and Wilma? Where is Dino-9? The only way you will find the answer to these and other exciting questions is to write the next episode yourself, because I'm not going to do it. :-) -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Or how about some other one-to-one pairings: ---------------------- Doctor == Yogi Bear Companion == Bobo Master == The Ranger Bobo: Yogi, what are we looking for? Yogi: Hey hey hey little buddy, we are looking for a picnic basket. Bobo: But Yogi, why are we doing that? Yogi: Because it really is the key of time disguised as a picnic basket. Bobo: How did you know that Yogi? Yogi: Hey hey hey, I'm smarter than the average Timelord. Come on little buddy, let's find it before the Ranger does. ---------------------- Doctor == Bulwinkle Companion == Rockey Master == Boris Rani == Natasha Bulwinkle: Hey Rocky, watch me fly this Tardis. Rocky: Oh no, please Bullwinkle, can't you do someting else? Bulwinkle: Well then, why don't I pull a gumblejack out of this hat instead. Rocky: That's not a gumblejack! That's a Tructator! Bulwinkle: Siii-Roooo, Siii-Roooo, Siii-Roooooooooo. Rocky: But Bulwinkle, Venusian lulabyes don't work on a Tructator! Bulwinkle: They don't? Well then, what are we to do? Rocky: There's nothing we can do Bulwinkle; the Tructator is already beginning to tructate! Will our heroes escape from the tructating Tructator? Will they ever get to see a gumblejack? Tune in next time for "Tructator Teminator 2" or "Silly Rocky, Trucators are for Kids". ---------------------- Doctor == Popey Companion == Olive Oil Master == Bluto Olive: Oh Popey, what exactly are we searching for? Popey: We're looking for a disguised canister of Mnumismeton Gas. Olive: But Popey, how will we find it if it is disguised? Popey: Just look for somethingkst that lookst like a can with the word word "spinachskt" printed on it. Olive: Oh Popey, you are so smart. Popey: I yam what I yam and that's all that I yam, cause I'm Popey the Time Lord. Pooo, pooo. Akkka, akkka. ---------------------- Doctor == The Bull Dog Companion == Jerry Master == Tom [No words here, because Tom and Jerry don't talk.] ---------------------- And that's all folks. -- xx138@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (SciFi/Fantasy: Media Forums) ----------------------------------------------------------- The User's Book Reviews The Anthology Science Fiction & Fantasy: Movies Book Lovers Forum