X-NEWS: spcvxb rec.humor.funny: 2368 Relay-Version: VMS News - V6.1B4+SPC1 6/9/92 VAX/VMS V5.5-1; site spcvxb.spc.edu Path: spcvxb!rutgers!news.columbia.edu!sol.ctr.columbia.edu!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!cs.utexas.edu!uunet!looking!funny-request Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny Subject: How about "USSR - Classic"? Message-ID: From: dakrat@aol.com Date: 19 Nov 92 08:20:03 GMT Keywords: topical, chuckle Approved: funny@clarinet.com Lines: 39 Besides worrying about crises of our own, we in the military have been having trouble coming to grips with the breakup of the Soviet Union. Where it was once easy to refer to the USSR as the bad guys, today we are faced with figuring out the intentions of over a dozen new republics. The following is a list circulated by our Plans and Intelligence Flight that tries to simplify the situation: TOP TEN BEST NEW NAMES FOR THE FORMER USSR 10. BORIS: Bolshevik Organized Republic of Independent States 9. COMMIES: Confederation Of Muslim Monarchies & Independent European States 8. RUBLES: Russian Union of Bolshevik Led European States 7. REDS: Russo-European Dominion of States 6. CAVIAR: Confederation of Autonomous Violently Independent Asian Republics 5. ACNE: Association of Countries with No Economies 4. FEED US: Farther Eastern European Dominion of United States 3. NIGHTMARE: National Independent Governments Having Tribes of Muslim, Asian, and Russian Extraction 2. SEWAGE: States of Europe Without A Good Economy And the Number One new name is... 1. NOTHING: Nucleus Of Totally Helpless Independent National Governments -- Selected by Maddi Hausmann. MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com. Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. Remember: Only ONE joke per submission. Extra jokes may be rejected.