X-NEWS: spcvxb alt.folklore.computers: 16137 Relay-Version: VMS News - V6.0-3 14/03/90 VAX/VMS V5.4; site spcvxb.spc.edu Path: spcvxb.spc.edu!rutgers!cs.utexas.edu!uunet!mcsun!uknet!slxsys!ibmpcug!dylan Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Usenet Purity was Re: Wolf Hugs and stuff Message-ID: <1991Nov12.150505.19303@ibmpcug.co.uk> From: dylan@ibmpcug.co.uk (Matthew Farwell) Date: 12 Nov 91 15:05:05 GMT Reply-To: dylan@ibmpcug.co.uk (Matthew Farwell) References: <1991Nov8.162938.16600@rice.edu> Organization: The IBM PC User Group, UK. Lines: 320 This, of course, is the real Usenet Purity Test, posted to talk.bizarre a while back. Dylan. ------ From slxsys!ukc!mcsun!uunet!world!decwrl!sgi!shinobu!odin!news Fri Mar 15 13:44:54 GMT 1991 Path: ibmpcug!slxsys!ukc!mcsun!uunet!world!decwrl!sgi!shinobu!odin!news >From: cj@modernlvr.wpd.sgi.com (C J Silverio) Newsgroups: talk.bizarre Subject: Re: Seeking Purity Test Message-ID: <1991Mar13.194241.2328@odin.corp.sgi.com> Date: 13 Mar 91 19:42:41 GMT References: <9849@hub.ucsb.edu> Sender: news@odin.corp.sgi.com (Net News) Reply-To: cj@modernlvr.wpd.sgi.com (C J Silverio) Organization: SGI TechPubs Lines: 298 --- 6500gla@ucsbuxa.ucsb.edu (Gabino Luis Alonso) writes: |I am looking for a purity test that was posted some |time ago. If you have a copy, please mail one to: | 6500gla@ucsbuxa.ucsb.edu No, I'm not going to mail it. But here's a purity test. Hope this is the one you were looking for. I wrote it just for you. ---------------------------------- I'll eat my hat if Carasso is more than 10% pure. -- CJ's Net.Purity Test -- CREDITS: C J Silverio (cj@modernlvr.wpd.sgi.com), with suggestions from Bill Coderre (bc@apple.com) INSTRUCTIONS: Read the questions. Answer yes or no. If you're not sure how to answer, you lose. SCORING: Score one point for every "yes" answer. Other scoring is as noted in individual questions. After you've answered the questions, subtract your total from 100. The resulting number is your purity percentage. Suggested Score Interpretations: >100 You're a total weenie; go back to comp.sys.weenoids where you belong. 75-100 Go back to soc.singles and alt.romance.chat, you horndog weenie. 51-74 You lied about never posting your purity scores, didn't you? 25-49 You alt.flame wanna-be-stud, you. 0-24 You must think you're net.joe.cool. WRONG. <0 You're a total net.weenie-- get a life. THE QUIZ: Reading 1. Have you ever regularly read a Usenet group? 2. Lose one point if you've ever referred to newsgroups as "boards" or "bboards." 3. Do you ever refer to newsgroups as 'froups? 4. Do you now, or have you ever, read talk.bizarre? 5. Have you ever regularly read an "alt" group? 6. Score one point for every year you've been a regular reader. 7. Subtract one point from your total for each "comp" group you read regularly. 8. Subtract one point if you read alt.sex regularly. 9. Subtract one point if you read soc.singles regularly. 10. Subtract five points if you read rec.humor.*. 11. Score one point for every item of clothing you own that's associated with a newsgroup. 12. Do you have a killfile? 13. Do you know about killfiles but refuse to use them on principle? 14. Are you in anyone else's killfile? 15. Have you read news.announce.newusers? 16. Have you been on the net so long that you've never bothered to read news.announce.newusers? 17. Does news.announce.newusers contain an article that you wrote? 18. Do you make "dot" jokes in your (non-net) conversation? Posting 19. Have you ever posted to a Usenet group? 20. To the same group more than 10 times? 21. More times than you can count? 22. Has your name ever appeared on one of the uunet "Top 25" lists? 23. Were you #1? If so, score 10 points. 24. Has your name ever been dropped in someone else's posting? 25. Is your dot-sig file less than 4 lines long? 26. More than 20 lines long? 27. Has your dot-sig ever been flamed? 28. Have you ever flamed someone else's dot-sig? 29. Have you stopped using dot-sig files? 30. Are you quoted in any one else's dot-sig file? 31. Lose five points if you've ever posted to rec.humor.misc. 32. Lose one point for each lightbulb joke you've posted. 33. Lose one point if you've ever posted a request for part x of any story in alt.sex.*. 34. Lose five points if you've ever posted a request for "Cindy's Torment." 35. Lose one point if you've ever posted your purity test scores to the net. 36. Score two points if you've posted them in rec.pets. 37. Lose one point for each pyramid scheme or chain letter you've forwarded to the net. 38. Lose one point if you've ever flamed anyone for posting a pyramid scheme or chain letter. 39. Lose one point if you've ever posted a request for the definition of "SO" or "MOTAS". 40. Have you ever crossposted? 41. Have you ever crossposted to soc.women? 42. Have you ever crossposted to more than five groups simultaneously? 43. Were those groups totally unrelated to each other and to the topic of your posting? 44. Subtract one point if you have ever accidentally crossposted or followed-up to misc.test. 45. Have you ever deliberately crossposted to rec.arts.startrek and talk.bizarre? 46. talk.bizarre and rec.pets? 47. Have you ever forged a posting? 48. Have you ever forged a newgroup? 49. Has anyone ever forged a cancellation of one of your postings? 50. Have you ever forged a cancellation of someone else's posting? Newsgroups & Politics 51. Score one point for every news.* group you read. 52. Have you ever voted for or against a group? 53. Have you ever proposed a new newsgroup? 54. Was there a huge controversy & flame-fight during the discussion period/voting period for your group? 55. Did the vote for your group pass? 56. Did the backbone refuse to create your group? 57. Is there a cabal? 58. Is there a cabal of Daves? 59. Did you vote for comp.protocols.tcp-ip.eniac? 60. Have you ever created an alt group without bothering to ask permission? 61. A comp group? Flaming 62. Have you ever flamed? 63. Have you ever been flamed? 64. Have you ever been flamed for flaming? 65. Have you ever crossposted a flame to a group other than alt.flame? 66. Have you ever flamed in any news.* group? 67. Have you ever coaxed anybody into posting their SAT/GRE/etc. scores? 68. Lose five points if *you* have ever posted your SAT/GRE/etc. scores. 69. Lose one point if you've ever referred to alt.flame as a "sewer." 70. Have you ever set the "Followup-To:" to misc.test? 71. Did anyone fall for it? 72. Did the victim then post complaining about it? 73. Lose one point if you've ever told anyone to "take it to email." 74. Lose one point for every one of the following easy targets that you've flamed: Roger David "Noelle" Carasso Roger Rabbit Kent Paul Dolan Ted Kaldis David J. Rasmussen Kevin Darcy any PSU geek who crossposted a homophobic rant to the entire net 75. Score one point for each of the above that has flamed you. 76. Have you ever written a stern note to someone else's system administrator? 77. Has anyone ever written a stern note about you to *your* system administrator? 78. Are you your own system administrator? 79. Have your posting privileges ever been yanked for something you posted? 80. Have you ever recommended that someone else's posting privileges be yanked? 81. Did your recommendation start a censorship flame war? Periodicity 82. Have you ever taken part in the roving "censorship" flame war? 83. Have you ever taken part in the roving "homosexuality" flame war? 84. In news.admin? 85. Lose five points if you were on the same side as Ted Kaldis. 86. Lose another five if you're not sure what side Ted Kaldis was on. 87. Lose a point if you've ever posted about the little kid with cancer who wants to get enough postcards to get into the Guinness Book of World Records. 88. Can you name the kid? 89. The other kid? 90. Have you ever flamed someone for posting about that kid? Personalities 91. Have you ever flamed Patricia O Tuama? 92. Have you ever been flamed by Patricia O Tuama? 93. Have you ever been complimented by Patricia O Tuama? 94. Have you ever flamed Gene Spafford? 95. Did he notice? 96. Have you ever flamed Chuq von Rospach? 97. Do you remember Weemba? 98. Have you ever been flamed by Weemba? 99. Were you ever mentioned in a Maroney Award? 100. Are you Rich Rosen? --- cj@modernlvr.wpd.sgi.com C J Silverio/Brahms Gang/Berkeley CA 94720 "Usenet is like standing up in the middle of a crowded movie theater and yelling, "CAR FOR SALE!" --Peter Honeyman -- dylan@ibmpcug.co.uk || ...!uunet!uknet!ibmpcug!dylan Just follow the simple rule - Rob Pike