From news.spc.edu!news.new-york.net!news.columbia.edu!panix!news.bbnplanet.com!cam-news-hub1.bbnplanet.com!uunet!in3.uu.net!192.54.253.23!fugue.clari.net!funny-request Thu Feb 6 07:58:31 1997 Xref: news.spc.edu rec.humor.funny:7009 Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny From: don@clari.net (Don Woods) Subject: Hacking Shakespeare Keywords: smirk, computers Approved: funny-request@clari.net Path: news.spc.edu!news.new-york.net!news.columbia.edu!panix!news.bbnplanet.com!cam-news-hub1.bbnplanet.com!uunet!in3.uu.net!192.54.253.23!fugue.clari.net!funny-request Message-ID: Date: Wed, 5 Feb 97 19:30:01 EST Lines: 46 You may be familiar with the sets of magnets with various poetic words on them, suitable for composing poetry on your refrigerator door. It seems that the idea is generating spinoffs. For Christmas this year I received two sets of magnets, one of which is a "Shakespeare Love Kit" with lots of Shakespearean words, and the other an assortment of computer-related terms and jargon. Naturally, the two have ended up combined. Here are some of the resulting compositions that guests and I have left on my refrigerator... Through infinite myst, software reverberates In code possess'd of invisible folly. Wilt thou dare interface With thy Apple Macintosh keypad By toggling my tweaky bosom? Alack! Leave laserjet laughter to the laptop lover. Behold beta beauty in a keyboard's keen kindness. Now yet torment thy melancholy hardware By always vexing the amorous flame Of thine model motherboard. This tyrant widget conceals scuzzy games And pleasure treasured dear: Then kiss me. Celestial evil's idolatrous template within AOL Will deceive some cybersex users And email "cancel our service." Tis a rare tongue That many maiden bugs command, Revealing bounteous distress, Trashing bold memory: Click and crash gloriously. Weep not, beauteous Microsoft! Hereafter reboot. -- Selected by Jim Griffith. MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clari.net. If you see a problem with an RHF posting, reply to the poster please, not to us. Ask the poster to forward comments back to us if this is necessary. For the full RHF guidelines, see http://comedy.clari.net/rhf/