From pjh@Soliton.COM Wed Mar 29 04:55:04 2000 Xref: news.spc.edu rec.humor.funny:8446 Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny From: pjh@Soliton.COM (Peter J. Henderson) Subject: Truth in Advertising Keywords: smirk, true Approved: funny-request@netfunny.com Path: news.spc.edu!news.new-york.net!news-peer.gip.net!news.gsl.net!gip.net!newsfeed.direct.ca!news.netfunny.com!funny-request Followup-To: rec.humor.d Message-id: Date: Tue, 28 Mar 2000 19:30:00 PST IPS Millennium Fund RisksSeen at http://www.ipsfunds.com/strategies.html. Their "Plain Language Risk Disclosure" available elsewhere on their site is a must read as well. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- This discussion is intended for information purposes only and does not constitute a solicitation or an offer to buy or sell any securities mentioned. Such securities are used for illustration, and are not meant as recommendations for individual purchase. While our information has been obtained from sources we trust, people make mistakes, including us. We may also change our mind later and not tell you. The market may change and not tell us. Technology may change and not tell the market. The gods might just be having a bad day. We may buy a position that's 0.1% of the Fund portfolio, and if you go out and buy 100 shares, you may way over-expose your portfolio to a risky security. The opinions below reflect the portfolio manager's current judgment, and are subject to change or temporary insanity at any time. This firm and/or its directors, affiliates, officers, employees or members of their immediate families may have a position in the securities mentioned in the report. (We actually have all our money in the IPS funds because our company policy prohibits individual stock ownership, but we thought this sounded like a good CYA disclaimer. Can't be too careful, you know.) -- Selected by Jim Griffith. MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@netfunny.com. If you see a problem with an RHF posting, reply to the poster please, not to us. Ask the poster to forward comments back to us if this is necessary. For the full RHF guidelines, see http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/ This joke's link: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/00/Mar/cya.html Administrative note: The recent work "Politically Correct Megillah" was originally written by Eric Sommer (eric@infogear.co.il). My apologies to him for the lack of attribution. Also, the recent joke "PRANKSTER PAINTS THE TOWN RED", marked as "true" was not, in fact, a true story (as was evident to anyone who actually bothered to look at the site referenced in the joke) - ed.