Filename: p.027 Category: Star Trek (tm) parodies Title(s): (list of suggested ST:TNG episode titles) Author(s): Mark Wutka Newsgroup: rec.arts.startrek Poster: Mark Wutka Date posted: 1988 10 17 19:17:23 GMT First date published: 1988 10 17 19:17:23 GMT Collector: Chuan K. Chee Date collected: 1988 10 18 Date reformatted: 1990 01 08 Deposited on system: Date deposited: Accessed by: The following material has been may have been altered by: (1) removing header and trailer (.sigs) (2) fitting it in 72 columns (3) correcting obvious spelling mistakes (4) removing page feeds Chuan K. Chee ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Here is the list of episodes for the new ST:TNG season along with a brief summary of each: Week 1: "Wesley the head" Wesley contracts a venereal disease after intercourse in the engine room. All his hair falls out and his head becomes shaped like a penis while the new Doctor rushes to save him. Worf and Wesley become great friends after finally finding something in common and Worf attempts to fight the cure. Meanwhile, a powerful alien race takes control of the Enterprise. Week 2: "Cupid's Photon Torpedo" Worf must return to Kling to satisfy a 42-year mating cycle or get turned into a pumpkin. Meanwhile, a powerful alien race takes control of the Enterprise. Week 3: "The Curse" A strange virus infect the males aboard the Enterprise causing all of them to suffer from PMS. Meanwhile, a powerful alien race takes control of the Enterprise. Week 4: "The Love Starship" Captain Stubing..err..Picard finds his long lost love while on a routine mission while Gopher and Isaac..oops.. Data and Geordia teach a Mulroonian Muskrat to whistle "Suwanee River." Meanwhile, a powerful alien race takes control of the Enterprise. (Sonny Bono, Dick Van Patten, and Ken Berry guest star) Week 5: "Da Starship! Da Starship!" Mr. Roarke programs the Holodeck to fulfill each of the crew member's fantasies. Data becomes a boy, Geordi becomes Ray Charles, Riker becomes a giant smirk, Wesley has sex with all the female crew members, and Captain Picard has hair again. Meanwhile, a powerful alien race takes control of the Enterprise. Week 6: "You Ain't Nuthin But An Arcturan Flooblegonger" Riker heads up an investigation after a rash of Elvis sightings aboard the Enterprise. Data becomes obsessed with Elvis and begins to impersonate him. Meanwhile, a powerful alien race takes control of the Enterprise. Week 7: "When You Wish Upon A Star" In an attempt to create the ultimate woman to satisfy his adolescent urges, Wesley causes the Holodeck to re-create Data's REAL creator, Dr. Gepetto. Data temporarily gets turned into a donkey and the Enterprise is swallowed by a whale. Meanwhile, a powerful alien race takes control of the Enterprise. (Guest Star: Jimminy(SP?) Cricket) Week 8: "The Dark Secret" Captain Stubing..err.. Picard reveals that the "Picard Maneuver" was really only a simple way to parallel park, Troi reveals that she can really read minds, Geordi admits that his sunglasses are really X-Ray glasses and that it is a complete coincidence that his cabin is next to the women's shower. Meanwhile, a powerful alien race takes control of the Enterprise. Week 9: "Where No Man Has Come Before" Wesley creates some tense moments when, while tossing off in the transporter room, he accidently sends some spermatozoa into space where they impregnate a giant space amoeba. Geordi warns Wesley that he could go blind and Worf warns that he will grow hair on his palms. Meanwhile, a powerful alien race takes control of the Enterprise. Week 10: "A Queer Visitor" Q again invades the Enterprise, this time bringing along his friends - R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z. Meanwhile, a powerful alien race takes control of the Enterprise. Week 11: "The Problem With Pribbles" The Enterprise answers a distress call from a nearby starbase to protect a supply of Pentatriticale from the ravages of the Ferengi. While at the starbase, several crew members pick up some furry little creatues called Pribbles that propagate at incredible speed. Meanwhile, a powerful alien race takes control of the Enterprise. Week 12: "Data Gram" Data is made Internet compatible and Wesley reprograms the Enterprise computers to call the captain "Chrome-dome." Meanwhile, a powerful alien race takes control of the Enterprise.