From meta@pobox.com Sat Jul 29 03:52:14 2000 Xref: news.spc.edu rec.humor.funny:8542 Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny From: meta@pobox.com (mathew) Subject: If The Phone Company Ran A Restaurant Keywords: smirk Approved: funny-request@netfunny.com Path: news.spc.edu!ord-feed.news.verio.net!dfw-peer.news.verio.net!news.verio.net!logbridge.uoregon.edu!newsfeed.direct.ca!look.ca!news.netfunny.com!funny-request Followup-To: rec.humor.d Message-id: Date: Fri, 28 Jul 2000 19:30:00 PDT BELL ATLANTIC RESTAURANT 1095 Avenue of the Americas New York, NY 10036 800-621-9900 BELL ATLANTIC RESTAURANT SERVICES Cod steak $8.17 French fries $2.01 Peas $1.40 Limited Meal Service $30.85 Knife $0.60 Fork $3.17 Metal Cutlery With Handles $6.20 Table Access Charge $1.19 Chair Maintenance Plan $2.95 Menu Listing Service $0.49 Bell Atlantic Condiments and Sauces (detail below) $1.11 Federal Fish Tax $0.62 Local Menu Readability $0.23 TOTAL $58.99 ITEMIZED CONDIMENTS AND SAUCES With Limited Meal Service you pay a fixed nightly rate for air and water at your table. Consult your menu for condiment and sauce rates. Item Number of ml Rate per ml Amount Ketchup 10 0.03 0.30 Salt 1 0.01 0.01 Tartare 20 0.04 0.80 Total 1.11 -- Selected by Jim Griffith. MAIL your joke to funny@netfunny.com. Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. Remember: Always give your jokes a descriptive "Subject:" line. Don't use "joke" or "submission" or "joke submission," please. For the full submission guidelines, see http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/ This joke's link: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/00/Jul/atlantic.html