From news.spc.edu!news.new-york.net!news-feed.fnsi.net!newsfeed.direct.ca!news.netfunny.com!funny-request Mon Nov 2 09:38:58 1998 Xref: news.spc.edu rec.humor.funny:7880 Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny Subject: John Glenn voyage Reply-Path: jstevens@cyberdesic.com From: jstevens@cyberdesic.com (Jason Stevens) Keywords: topical, smirk, original Approved: funny-request@netfunny.com Path: news.spc.edu!news.new-york.net!news-feed.fnsi.net!newsfeed.direct.ca!news.netfunny.com!funny-request Message-id: Date: Mon, 2 Nov 1998 3:20:00 PST Space Oddity '98 (to the tune of Space Oddity by David Bowie) Ground control to Major Glenn Ground control to Major Glenn Take your Geritol and put your dentures in. [Background] 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Ground control to Major Glenn Commencing countdown, breaking wind. Avoid exhaustion and may good luck be with you. Liftoff This is ground control to Major Glenn. You've really made the news And the papers want to test that tang you drink. Now its time to do some science, don't you think? This is Major Glenn to ground control I'm starting the first test. And I'm aging in a most peculiar way. All my scars look very different today. For here am I floating in a space plane Far above the world. Vericose veins are blue And there's so much I must do. Though I've lived five hundred thousand hours I'm feeling very ill. I just hope my vomit knows which way to go. Tell the crew we need some cleanup here. They know! Ground control to Major Glenn Your pulse has gone, there's something wrong. Can you hear me Major Glenn? Can you hear me Major Glenn? Can you . . . Here am I floating in a space plane Far above the world. Vericose veins are blue And there's so much I must do. -- Selected by Jim Griffith. MAIL your joke to funny@netfunny.com. Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. Remember: Always give your jokes a descriptive "Subject:" line. Don't use "joke" or "submission" or "joke submission," please. For the full submission guidelines, see http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/ This joke's link: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/98/Nov/majglenn.html