From news.spc.edu!news.new-york.net!logbridge.uoregon.edu!newsfeed.direct.ca!news.netfunny.com!funny-request Wed Sep 15 02:11:42 1999
Xref: news.spc.edu rec.humor.funny:8250
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From: Merlin.Hansen@Develcon.com (Merlin Hansen)
Subject: Requisition for software
Keywords: original, chuckle, computers, original
Approved: funny-request@netfunny.com
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Message-id: <Se61.3b5e@netfunny.com>
Date: Tue, 14 Sep 1999 19:30:00 PDT

Our SysAdmin is kind enough to keep all of us users updated with notices of any
particularly dangerous and/or rampant viruses.  Of course not all of us have the
privilege of being able to take full advantage of the information.  His latest
posting prompted me once again to attempt to become one of the privileged elite
with a simple reply...

[Up front, I send apologies to my Grade 12 English Teacher :-) ]

>From: Merlin
>To: SysAdmin
>Subject: Re: PC VIRUS WARNING

Your friendly neighborhood System Administrator wrote:
[snip of irrelevant data to the point of my discussion]
> If you have anti-virus software (e.g., Norton Anti-Virus, McAfee VirusScan,
> etc.) installed on your PC, make sure you are updating the virus definitions
> at LEAST once per month, preferably once per week.  Also be sure that
> the "auto-protection" feature is enabled, which catches most viruses BEFORE
> they infect your system.
> 

To install or not install:  That is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of wild viruses,
Or to take up arms against sea of SysAdmins and Bean Counters,
And by installing end them? To infect: to be infected;
No more; and by an install to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That Windows is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To install, to protect;
"If you have": perchance to upgrade: ay, there's the rub;
For with that feeling of safety what mortal conflicts may come
When IS with its licensing policies and 
The Managers with their budget constraints discover his deed,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of system maintenance;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of IS,
the bean counting oppressor's wrong, the SysAdmins contumely,
the pangs of despised system rebuilds,
When he himself might his safety make
With a "typical" install?

I could go on but wouldn't a site license be A WHOLE LOT EASIER for all
of us?!?!?

Signed,
A simple user under moral conflict.

-- 
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