SKITLER


Stage right we see a large desk of some sort with a man (MAN) seated behind it
doing some paperwork.  A sign somewhere on the desk reads (ASUA FUNDING   
COMITTEE.  A student (HITLER) dressed quite normally, wearing a lettermans
sweater with a small swastika sewn on it, enters stage left with a slight 
military air and a small mustache.
	
	MAN: (without looking up) Yes?

	HITLER:  Oh, don't let me bother you.  Go ahead and finish up whatever
	you're doing there
 
	MAN: (looking up) Just finished.  Ah, let's see.  You must be Mr.....
	Hitler.  Adolph is it?

	HIT:  Most of my friends call me Winky.
	
	MAN:  Yes, Mr. Hitler.  Have a seat.  You represent the Third Reach 
	club.	

	HIT:  That's Third Reich.

	MAN:  Third Reich Club, yes. (pause)  Are you connected with any of
	the fraternities?

	HIT:  No....

	MAN:  Hmmmmmnnn...I've been looking over your Funding Request Form,
	here, let's see,...$60 for printing....$25 for postage....$10 for
	telephone calls...and $118,000.00 for a Panzer Division....

	HIT:  Yes...

	MAN:  And waht's this $90 under Miscellaneous?  What would that be for?

	HIT:  Well, I've been designing a Club Uniform.  I've been working on 
	something with an open collared shirt in a sort of....brown, or khaki,
	possibly an armband, denim riding habit and knee high boots.

	MAN: A bit unusual, isn't it?

	HIT:  Yes, well, I thought it would help to call attention to our club.

	MAN:  As well it should.  Also, I've been looking over your club's
	constitution and, well, I wonder if you could clarify for me the 
	objectives of your club.

    	HIT:  Let's see, there's A. The Formation of a Fascist State,..B.
	World Conquest and Eventual Domination, C. The Realization of a Master
	Race, and D. To Provide Followship.

	MAN:  Fellowship?

	HIT:  Fellowship, yes

	MAN:  Let's go back to C.  How exactly does your organization propose
	to begin this "Master Race"?

	HIT:  Well, first we'd have to start out by defining "who is the Master
	Race, which would include myself, the other officers and members of the
	club and a few associated members who are not full time students, and
	then we would go about systematically eliminating, or weeding out as it
	were, all of the so-called "undesireables".

	MAN: How were you planning to do that?

	HIT:  Well, we were thinking of doing it in the form of a newsletter.

	MAN: Hmmmmnnn....

	HIT:  Yes, uh, we would send this newsletter, which would be titled THE
	WEAK LINK, to all of these inferior peoples through the mails, and when
	they opened it, it would release some sort of poisonous gas or simply
	explode blowing them into tiny little bits (gestures with hand to give
	an example of the approx. size of the tiny pieces).

	MAN:  I see, what other activities do you have planned?

	HIT:  Well, there would a lot of marching, troop movements, you know,
	that sort of thing,...uhhh...Blitzkrieg, Invasion of Poland, Annexation
	of the Sudatenland, etcetera.........and of course, Spring Fling.

	MAN:  Ah, what type of booth were you going to set up?

	HIT:  We were going to sell soap.

	MAN:  Hmmmmnnn...Well, Mr. Hitler, you know, of course, that we usually
	set a funding limit for all new clubs at $150.00.  But in your case we
	have decided....to give you the full amount!

	HIT:  Terrific!  Wow!  Wunderbar..ful! (he does a little dance that 
	there is that picture of Hitler doing, a sort of half-waving, marching
	jig.  If you don't know, look it up).

	MAN:  Yes, you see.  You're the last club to come before the committee
	this year and we seem to have quite a lot of money left over and, well,
	if we don't fund it to you we would just have to give it back to the
	government, so....

	HIT:  Thank you.  Thank you, very much.  I really appreciate it Mr...
	..(extending hand to shake)..uhhhh...  I'm sorry, I didn't catch your 
	name.

	MAN:  (extending hand) Goldberg.

	HIT: (retracting his hand very quickly.....to scratch)  Yes, well, 
	thank you, again.  Goodbye.

	MAN:  So long.  Let me know how everything turns out, now.

	HIT:  Oh, you'll be hearink from us, Mr. Goldberg.

				FIN