X-NEWS: spcvxb alt.sex.bondage: 685Relay-Version: VMS News - V6.0 10/3/90 VAX/VMS V5.3; site spcvxb.spc.edu Path: spcvxb.spc.edu!njin!rutgers!mit-eddie!bu.edu!orc!inews!iwarp.intel.com!psueea!eecs!jeffk Newsgroups: alt.sex.bondage Subject: Re: Purity Test Message-ID: <3121@psueea.UUCP> From: jeffk@eecs.cs.pdx.edu (Jeff Kapustka) Date: 12 Jul 90 02:01:07 GMT Reply-To: jeffk@eecs.UUCP (Jeff Kapustka) Sender: news@psueea.UUCP References: <55647@microsoft.UUCP> <55648@microsoft.UUCP> Organization: Portland State University, Portland, OR Lines: 208 In article <55648@microsoft.UUCP> wolfd@microsoft.UUCP (Wolf DUBY) writes: >A >much< better test originated at Reed College in Oregon. >It uses a wholly different ranking scale and is >divided into specific categories with questions ranging >from drug use through human sacrifice. (One aspect of >the test I find appealing is the fact that you get >a certain number of points, for instance, for having >tried STP, but you get points points deducted if you >tried it more than once :-) > >If anyone has access to this far superior bit of silliness, >I'm sure everyone would appreciate your posting it. > You asked for it, so here it is: TITLE: The Ronnie Geller Immorality Quiz Back by popular demand: WHAT'S YOUR IQ -on the Ronnie Geller Memorial Immorality Quotient scale? A: 1st, everybody's favorite: SEX 1. How many toys do you have? a. dildo ___5 pts. b. vibrator ___5 pts. c. whip ___5 pts. d. vaseline on your bedstand ___5 pts. e. Ben Wa balls ___5 pts. f. garter belts ___5 pts. g. strap on dildo 1. if you are F ___10 pts. 2. if you are M ___-10 pts. h. manacles or handcuffs ___5 pts. per set i. waterbed ___5 pts. j. mirrors on ceiling ___5 pts. k. pulley on ceiling ___15 pts. l. leather or rubber panties ___5 pts. m. cock ring ___5 pts. n. life size rubber doll ___10 pts. 2. How many orgasms do you have in an average week? ___ pts. 3. Spent more than 8 hrs in one session? ___5 pts. 4. Sex with someone with a. 10 yr. age difference? ___5 pts. b. 20 or more age difference? ___20 pts. 5. Have you done it with: a. a fruit or vegetable? ___5 pts. b. a vacuum cleaner? ___10 pts. c. an animal? ___25 pts. d. a horse or larger? ___50 pts. 6. Have you ever been a prostitute? (M or F) ___50 pts. 7. Had sex with a prostitute? ___15 pts. 8. a. Sex with 2 people at once? ___15 pts. add 5 pts. for each additional person. ___ b. involving homosexual acts? ___5 pts. 9. More than 2 people in one day? ___10 pts. 10. a. Had more than 10 lovers? ___5 pts. b. 20? ___add 5 more c. 30? ___add 10 more d. who counts after 30? ___add 10 more 11. Necrophilia? ___100 pts. 12. a. Ever had sex involving bondage? ___5 pts. b. bore than twice? ___add 10 more c. whips? ___10 pts. d. blood? ___25 pts. 13. Incest? ___15 pts. 14. a. Ever had sex involving enemas? ___5 pts. b. urine drinking? ___20 pts. c. feces tasting? ___25 pts. 15. a. Ever tongued the nether orifice? ___5 pts. b. Your own? ___150 pts. c. auto-fellatio or auto-cunnilingus? 1. M ___75 pts. 2. F ___100 pts. 16. More concerning Oral Sex: a. given to opposite sex ___5 pts. b. given to the same sex? ___10 pts. c. received form opposite sex? ___5 pts. d. received for same sex? ___10 pts. e. given to a women during her period? ___10 pts. 1. if you are a woman ___add 5 17. Anal Sex: a. received? ___15 pts. b. given? 1. if you are M ___15 pts. 2. if you are F ___30 pts. 18. a. Have you ever had sex within one hour of meeting him or her? (not including prostitutes)? ___25 pts. b. 24 hours? ___10 pts. 19. Been filmed or in front of an audience? ___25 pts. 20. How many pregnancies have you been involved in? ___-5 pts.each time 21. Lest we forget? a. crabs? ___5 pts. each time b. scabies? ___5 pts. each time c. syphilis? ___15 pts. each time d. clap? ___10 pts each time e. venereal warts? ___5 pts. each time f. herpes? ___15 pts. SEX subtotal ___pts. B: Ok, next: DRUGS: 1. Regular use of tobacco? ___5 pts. 2. Ever use alcohol? ___who hasn't? 3. Pot? ___10 pts. 4. Chewing tobacco? ___5 pts. 5. LSD? ___15 pts. 6. Bromo)mescaline? ___20 pts. 7. Peyote? ___15 pts. 8. Mushrooms? ___15 pts. 9. N-methyl? ___15 pts. 10. DPT? ___10 pts. 11. MET? ___10 pts. 12. DMT? ___15 pts. 13. STP? ___15 pts. 14. Crystal meth? ___15 pts. 15. Other ups? ___15 pts. 16. Seconal? ___10 pts. 17. Valium? ___10 pts. 18. Other downs? ___15 pts. 19. Nitrous Oxide? ___10 pts. 20. Amyl nitrate? ___10 pts. 21. Gasoline? ___-10 pts. 22. Glue? ___-10 pts. 23. a. PCP? used once ___15 pts. b. used more than once ___-15 pts. 24. Quaaludes? ___10 pts. 25. Morphine? ___10 pts. 26. Opium? ___15 pts. 27. MDA? ___20 pts. 28. Heroin? ___-10 pts. b. injected? ___-20 pts. 29. Cocaine? ___15 pts. b. free based ___20 pts. c. injected ___25 pts. 30. Combinations: a. 2? ___20 pts. b. 3-4? ___30 pts. c. 5 or more ___50 pts. 31. Abuser rehabilitation program? ___20 pts. 32. Ever been a drug dealer? ___15 pts. b. regular dealer? ___10 pts. more c. importer? ___20 pts. more 33. Synthesize own? ___25 pts. 34. Drugged unknowing person? ___20 pts. Drugs subtotal___pts. C: MISCELLANEOUS 1. Ever been arrested? ___10 pts. each time 2. Overnight in jail? ___15 pts. each time 3. Served time? a. over 7 days ___30 pts. each time b. State or Fed ___75 pts. each time c. Funny farm ___20 pts. each time 4. Drop out of college? ___5 pts. each time 5. Flunk out? ___10 pts. each time 6. Religious conversion? ___5 pts. each time 7. Animal sacrifice? ___20 pts. 8. Human sacrifice? YOU WIN! 9. Black Mass? ___10 pts. 10. Cannibalism? ___100 pts. 11. Altar in your room? ___5 pts. 12. 1 or more pounds chocolate at a sitting? ___5 pts. 13. Member of Communist or Socialist Organization? ___5 pts. 14. Committed major crime other than previously listed: a. state? ___10 pts. b. federal? ___15 pts. c. international? ___50 pts. 15. Listen to Rock and Roll? ___0 pts. MISC subtotal___pts. Total subtotal___pts. add 10% if you are under 18 add 20% if you are under 15 add 50% if you are under 10 TOTAL___pts. It's a little trite, and a little hetero-centric, but for better or for worse, it's here. Perhaps some willing (and slightly masochistic) soul out there might wish to hack out an upgrade to it..... - Scoundrel - (jeffk@eecs.cs.pdx.edu - Portland State University) ----------------------------------------------------------- Jeff Kapustka - A Gentleman and a Scoundrel ;) {ucbvax,uunet}!tektronix!psueea!eecs!jeffk "I may make you feel, but I can't make you think!"