X-NEWS: spcvxb rec.humor.funny: 2755 Relay-Version: VMS News - V6.1B4+SPC1 6/9/92 VAX/VMS V5.5-2; site spcvxb.spc.edu Path: spcvxb!rutgers!drew.drew.edu!dziuxsolim.rutgers.edu!uunet!elroy.jpl.nasa.gov!decwrl!looking!funny-request Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny Subject: Protester Satisfaction Survey Message-ID: From: bscott@nyx.cs.du.edu (Ben Scott) Date: 1 Apr 93 09:30:02 GMT Keywords: smirk, original Approved: funny@clarinet.com To: _IN%"mnews@DREW.DREW.EDU" CC: Return-path: To: mnews@DREW.DREW.EDU Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT Lines: 81 I worked for a while at an office which shall remain nameless, but whose business does, from time to time, attract protest groups. I and a colleague named Linda wrote this one morning while beseiged by an especially radical group. (Note that I'm as much of an environmentalist as the next guy - I'm a registered Democrat and never listen to Rush Limbaugh. But sometimes you meet people who take even the worthiest causes _far_ too seriously. I did not do this to offend anyone, merely to break the tension at the office that morning. (as if the misspelled protest signs weren't doing that already...) Anyway, all disclaimers in effect, and I'm definitely not targeting anyone or any group in particular. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ (name of office deleted for obvious reasons) Protester Satisfaction Survey (standard form #27B/j) Please take a few minutes to fill out this questionaire. All answers will be kept confidental and are used only for research purposes. 1: How did you hear about us? ____________________________________________ 2: Did you enjoy your overall experience today? __ Yes __ No If not, why not? _____________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ 3: Is this your first protest with this (office)? __ Yes __ No 4: On a scale of 1 to 10, please rate the following aspects of our service: (circle one) Representative accessibility 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Employee politeness/patience 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Toilet availability 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Snacks 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Parking 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5: Would you come back and protest again? __ Yes __ No 6: What can we do to make future protests more fulfilling? _______________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ Thank you for your time. Your answers will help (this office) become more responsive to protester needs as part of our service goals. -- Selected by Maddi Hausmann. MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. Remember: Always give your jokes a descriptive "Subject:" line. Don't use "joke" or "submission" or "joke submission," please.