X-NEWS: spcvxb rec.humor.funny: 2579 Relay-Version: VMS News - V6.1B4+SPC1 6/9/92 VAX/VMS V5.5-2; site spcvxb.spc.edu Path: spcvxb!rutgers!bobsbox.rent.com!s4mjs!plts!sdl!news.mentorg.com!uunet!looking!funny-request Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny Subject: System Problem Report Form Message-ID: From: bmh@terminus.ericsson.se (Bernard Hatt) Date: 29 Jan 93 00:30:02 GMT Keywords: chuckle, computers, original Approved: funny@clarinet.com Lines: 108 SYSTEM PROBLEM REPORT FORM This is a form to make the reporting of problems consistent, allow records of problems to be kept and a method of discouraging users from reporting faults in the first place. 1. Your name ? ________________ 2. Your login name ? ________________ 3. The date ? ___/___/___ 4. The date the problem first occurred if different ? ___/___/___ 5. Problem severity Minor __ Minor __ Minor __ Minor __ 6. Which machine ? ________________ 7. Which area appears to be at fault ? Communications __ Disk __ Base unit __ Network __ Keyboard __ Screen __ Mouse __ Everything __ Don't know __ 7.1 Is it plugged in ? Yes __ No __ 7.2 Is it switched on ? Yes __ No __ 7.3 Has it been stolen ? Yes __ No __ 7.4 Have you tried to fix it yourself ? Yes __ No __ 7.4.1 Have you made it worse ? Yes __ 7.5 Have you read the manual ? Yes __ No __ 7.5.1 Are you sure you`ve read the manual ? Yes __ No __ 7.5.2 Are you absolutly certain you`ve read the manual ? Yes __ No __ 7.6 Did you understand it ? Yes __ No __ 7.6.1 If 'Yes' why can't you fix it yourself ? ________________________________________________________________ 7.7 Is the equipment unexpectedly noisy ? Yes __ No __ 7.7.1 If 'Yes' what sort of noise ? Grinding __ Rattling __ Whirring __ High pitched whine __ Sound of disk head scouring disk __ Strange, out of tune, whistling or humming __ 7.8 Is there a smell of burning ? Yes __ No __ 7.8.1 If `Yes' is the equipment on fire ? Yes __ No __ 7.9 Is the fault repeatable ? Yes __ No __ 7.10 What were you doing (with the equipment) at the time the fault occurred? ________________________________________________________________ 7.10.1 If 'nothing' explain why you were logged in. ________________________________________________________________ 7.11 What are the 39 steps ? ________________________________________________________________ 7.12 Are you sure you arn't imagining the problem ? Yes __ No __ 7.13 Do you have any independant witnesses of the problem ? Yes __ No __ 7.14 Describe the problem. ________________________________________________________________ 7.15 Now, describe the problem accurately. ________________________________________________________________ 7.16 Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem. ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ 7.17 Can't you do something else, rather than bothering me ? Yes __ No __ -- Selected by Maddi Hausmann. MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. Jokes ABOUT major current events should be sent to topical@clarinet.com (ie. jokes which won't be funny if not given immediate attention.) Anything that is not a joke submission goes to funny-request@clarinet.com