.title Peru
.fg 20
.c;^&Peru\&
.s
.c;Michael A. Sterner
.nmpg 1
.page
.;
.lm 8.p -8.at
Wife: Rob, honey, I'm home. Rob? (she sits and starts to unlace shoes)
Rob: I'm in the kitchen, just a second. (Entering)
 Don't get too comfortable. I want you to see something. (He points
 to the window)
Wife: (She goes to the window and peeks out. She looks blank) What
 is it?
Rob: What does it look like?
Wife: It looks a little bit like Peru.
Rob: (Pause) Don't you like it?
Wife: Is it, Peru?
Rob: Of course it is. You see, there's Lima; those are the Andes; that's
 Lake Titicaca. I bought it today at a garage sale.
Wife: (Pause) Lake what?
Rob: Lake Titicaca. I swear that's the real name. That's it right on
 the edge there. One of the highest lakes in the world. Elevation of
 like 12,500 feet.
Wife: Well the children seem to like it. Mike ! Let your sister play in the
 lake for a while.
Rob: Yeah, I'd thought you'd appreciate that aspect.
Wife: Who... who are all those people?
Rob: Oh, those are the Peruvians. As you can see, they're mostly mestizos
 and Indians, or Incans to be more precise.
Wife: How many of them are there? (confused)
Rob: Oh, about 17 million, give or take 500,000
Wife: How much did you say you paid for it?
Rob: Guess.
Wife: Oh, uh. Let's see. It's a fairly large country. Oh, I don't
 know. About 10 billion dollars.
Rob: 85 bucks.
Wife: What?
Rob: 85 bucks, plus they threw in my choice of military junta.
Wife: Oh, God, what a find.
Rob: The Johnsons from next door were there. When I wasn't looking, they
 bought Venezuela right out from under me.
Wife: Fascists. They've already got Brazil, Paraguay, Uraguay and Chile.
Rob: Last week they got Argentina out at the swap meet.
Wife: Shit, Argentina.
 What more do they want.
Rob: I don't know. They're after something, though. They invited us over
 for dinner next week.
Wife: Well, I can't imagine what they're after.
 (looks out window) Michael, don't play on those. If I've told you
 once, I've told you a thousand times, STAY OFF THE FAULKLANDS. Just
 leave the sheep alone. That's just what we need, the whole British
 fleet tracking through the house. I just vacuumed. I think those 
 islands are more trouble than they're worth.
Rob: Yeah, that's true. Honey, I've got a present for you. You didn't think 
 I'd forget our Anniversary. 
Wife: (opens box) Oh, it's Ecuador.
Rob: I noticed you had your eye on it for a while. I thought maybe we
 could put it right out by the back fence. Just north of Peru.
Wife: Oh, honey, you shouldn't have.
 Rob, I've got your Anniversary present too.
Rob: I was beginning to wonder.
Wife: Here, open it.
Rob: (he pulls out a tie) It's a tie. A tie. I bought you Ecuador for our
 anniversary and you bought me a tie.
 (long pause) I feel like such a cheapskate.
Wife: Don't worry honey, I like Ecuador.