X-NEWS: spcvxb news.admin.policy: 607 Relay-Version: VMS News - V6.1B4+SPC1 6/9/92 VAX/VMS V5.5-1; site spcvxb.spc.edu Path: spcvxb!rutgers!att-out!cbfsb!cbnewsf.cb.att.com!forbes Newsgroups: news.groups,alt.flame,talk.bizarre,news.admin.policy,rec.music.synth,rec.music.makers.synth,rec.humor Subject: =2= Night of the Usenet Winter Olympics Message-ID: <1992Nov15.072436.11408@cbfsb.cb.att.com> From: forbes@cbnewsf.cb.att.com (Scott Forbes) Date: 15 Nov 92 07:24:36 GMT Sender: news@cbfsb.cb.att.com Followup-To: rec.humor References: <1992Nov13.083517.29864@cbfsb.cb.att.com> <1992Nov14.072212.29383@cbfsb.cb.att.com> Organization: Usenet Sports Programming Network Keywords: Usenet Winter Olympics coverage -- exclusively on USPN! Summary: It's too dark to see! Lines: 97 Xref: spcvxb news.groups:41558 alt.flame:39196 talk.bizarre:73729 news.admin.policy:607 rec.music.synth:33565 rec.music.makers.synth:115 rec.humor:61233 \\ //// The Usenet Sports Programming Network presents... (____) \ / || || .----. o o o o | -> | "WHAT the -- ?!" +=_. | | |__ '----' . o / / \-------\ \ || x _____-'|_\_________/_/_____||________ -/ ' .--'' | __ .-' / / o / \ \ / o / \ \ / o / \ \ / | \ \/\ | \__/ | | | F L A M E S L E D D I N G The 1992 Usenet Winter Olympics Arthur Kent: >Hello and welcome back to USPN's exclusive coverage of the 1992 >Usenet Winter Olympics. This is Arthur Kent reporting live from >Sarajevo, where the Flamesledding competition is underway. >Flamesledding is one of the most dangerous events in the Olympics, >and this year's competition has been very exciting. Let's take a >closer look as the news.groups team enters the gate: Ken Arromdee: >If everybody else were bobsledding off a cliff, would you? Karleenus Schwartz Davis: >Well, of course! I mean -- AIYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Ken: >Next! If everybody else were bobsledding off a cliff, would you? Jesper Lauridsen: >Umm... I suppose if everybody were doing it, there must be some >good reason for it, right? Ken: >Sure. [ AIYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! ] Next! If everybody else >were bobsledding off a cliff... Arthur: >It looks like we could set a record this year, sports fans. Stay >tuned as the Olympics continue! * [Meanwhile, two men watch the proceedings from a nearby slope...] Gene: >Your plan is working flawlessly, Rich. The sysadmins have turned >against each other, and are trying to enforce the Guidelines where >they were never meant to apply. In a few days they'll be ready -- >perhaps even eager -- to return to the days of the Backbone Cabal. Rich: >Indeed. There's nothing like a little threat to the status quo to >make people feel insecure, and make them want to force a little >order and structure onto the net. By the time they realize what >they've put into place, we'll be in control again. Gene: >And then we'll rebuild the net -- in our image. Heh heh heh heh. >No more rabble-rousing talk.*, soc.* or misc.* groups... just >comp.*, sci.*, and only those rec.* groups that we approve. Rich: >And, of course, with the Cabal making all the decisions, there >won't be a need for news.* anymore, will there? Gene: >Of course, of course. You know, the time is coming soon when I >will step down as head of the Cabal... and I'm starting to think >that I may know who my successor will be. Keep up the good work, >Rich, and you may find yourself in the top spot someday. But >enough about that now: While we're in Europe we have some Cabal >business to attend to. Last month's currency crisis was a great >success, but we need to do something about the Bundesbank... [to be continued....]