From: IN%"Richard@UnionInk.com" "Richard Labov" 29-APR-1997 17:36:14.67 To: IN%"terry@spcvxa.spc.edu" CC: Subj: soap Return-path: Received: from ftp.UnionInk.com (root@ftp.UnionInk.com) by spcvxa.spc.edu (PMDF V5.0-8 #19122) id <01IIAB1TEH68008OKH@spcvxa.spc.edu> for terry@spcvxa.spc.edu; Tue, 29 Apr 1997 17:36:04 -0400 (EDT) Received: from richard2.unionink.com (richard2.UnionInk.com [165.254.138.64]) by ftp.unionink.com (8.8.5/8.8.5/SPC-2.1) with SMTP id RAA03272 for ; Tue, 29 Apr 1997 17:35:54 -0400 (EDT) Date: Tue, 29 Apr 1997 17:34:30 -0400 From: Richard Labov Subject: soap X-Sender: richard@ftp.unionink.com To: terry@spcvxa.spc.edu Message-id: <2.2.32.19970429213430.006fc308@ftp.unionink.com> MIME-version: 1.0 X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Pro Version 2.2 (32) Content-type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT >Date: Wed, 09 Apr 1997 12:40:49 >To: all >From: Richard Labov >Subject: soap > > > >Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred between a London hotel's staff and one of its guests. The London hotel involved submitted this to the Sunday Times. No name was mentioned. > > >Dear Maid, > >Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way. > >P. Terry > >---------------------------------------------- > >Dear Room 635, > >I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. > >This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the management is to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory. > >Kathy, Relief Maid > >--------------------------------------------------- > >Dear Maid, --- I hope you are my regular maid. > >Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the request to stop leaving the bars of soap, for when I got back to my room this evening I found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own bath-size Dial so I won't need those 6 little Camays which are on the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc. Please remove them. > >P. Terry > >---------------------------------------------------- > >Dear Mr. Terry, > >My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps which we are instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps which were in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn't remove the 3 complimentary soaps which are always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and which you did not object to when you checked in last Monday. Please let me know if I can be of any further assistance. > >Your regular maid, >Dotty > >------------------------------------------------ > >Dear Mr. Terry, > >The assistant manager, Mr. Kensadder, informed me this AM that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any future complaints, please contact me so I can give it my personal attention. Call extension 1100 between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you, > >Elaine Carmen, >Housekeeper > >--------------------------------------------------------- > >Dear Miss Carmen, > >It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business at 7:45 AM and don't get back before 5:30 or 6PM. That's the reason I called Mr. Kensadder last night. You were already off duty. I only asked Mr. Kensadder if he could do anything about those little bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bath-room shelf. In just 5 days I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me? > >P. Terry > >-------------------------------------------------------- > >Dear Mr. Terry, > >Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance, please call extension 1100 between 8AM and 5PM. > >Thank you, > >Elaine Carmen, >Housekeeper > >-------------------------------------------------------------- > >Dear Mr. Kensadder, > >My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets. > >P. Terry > >---------------------------------------------------------- > >Dear Mr. Terry, > >I have informed Elaine Carmen, our Housekeeper, of your soap problem. I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room. The situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience. > >Martin L. Kensadder >Assistant Manager > >--------------------------------------------------------- > >Dear Mrs. Carmen, > >Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my one damn bar of bath-size Dial. Do your realize I have 54 bars of soap in here? All I want is my bath-size Dial. Please give me back my bath-size Dial. > >P. Terry > >----------------------------------------------------- > >Dear Mr. Terry, > >You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them removed. Then you complained to Mr. Kensadder that all your soap was missing so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily (sic). I don't know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I don't know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I left in your room. > >Elaine Carmen >Housekeeper > >------------------------------------------------------- > >Dear Mrs. Carmen, > >Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap situation. I now have: > >On shelf under medicine cabinet - 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2. >On Kleenex Dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and one stack of 3. >On bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquets, 1 stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4. >Inside medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2. >In shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist. >On northeast corner of tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used. >On northwest corner of tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3. > >Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries. > >One more item, I have purchased another bar of bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings. > >P. Terry >