X-NEWS: spcvxb alt.folklore.computers: 19121 Relay-Version: VMS News - V6.0-3 14/03/90 VAX/VMS V5.4; site spcvxb.spc.edu Path: spcvxb.spc.edu!rutgers!cs.utexas.edu!qt.cs.utexas.edu!yale.edu!ira.uka.de!uka!iras4!hanssgen Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers,dnet.witze,de.talk.chat Subject: Computer Song Collection 1.2 [part 4 of 5] Message-ID: From: hanssgen@iras4.ira.uka.de (Stefan Haenssgen) Date: 29 Jan 92 10:28:49 GMT Organization: University of Karlsruhe, FRG Keywords: computer songs parodies funny gaga NNTP-Posting-Host: iras4.ira.uka.de Lines: 1011 >>> BEGIN PART 4 Please Release Me Please release me let me go, My bugs aren't major anymore. To waste your time would be a sin. Release me, to Beta once again. I have found a new bug here, Too late to fix it now I fear, You can't boot warm, but must boot cold. Release me, the users never know. Please release me can't you see, You'd be a fool to cling to me. That's not a bug, but feature, dear. Release me, don't wait another year. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Title : Ode to Amy (or: The Frontend Shuffle) Original : The Longest Time Group : Billy Joel Author : Nelson Bishop Intro : This is the best in a long line of songs I wrote for departing coworkers. Song : Ode to Amy or The Frontend Shuffle (To the tune of: The Longest Time, Billy Joel) If you said the deadline was tonight, There would still be functions left to write. What else could I do? I get the frontend from you. And I'll be coding for the longest time. Once I thought enhancements we all done. Now I know the battle can't be won. The boss will find me, Give me work and then remind me. That I'll be coding for the longest time. I'm that voice you're hearing in the hall. And we need a miracle that's all. Because we need you. And I know we'll want to see you. 'Cause we'll be coding for the longest time. Maybe this wont last very long, The new fix is right, but I could be wrong. Maybe I've been coding too hard, But I've come this far, and a bonus I hoped for. Who knows how much further we'll go on. Frontend will be broken when you're gone. I'll take my chances, I forgot this disk drive dances And I'll be coding for the longest time. I had second thoughts at the start. I said to myself I hope that she's smart. Now I know the woman that you are. Your coding is bizarre, But it's more that I hoped for. I don't care what consequence it brings. Kludge it and get on to other things. This code is so bad. I think you ought to know that I intend to debug for the longest time. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Title : PLIate's Dream Original : Pilate's Dream Group : from Jesus Christ Superstar Author : Guy L. Steele Jr. Intro : Song : PLIate's Dream [to be sung to the tune of Pilate's Dream from Jesus Christ Superstar] I dreamed I was a brand new language, The ultimate in speed; I handled strings as fast as RPG, And twice as easily. I crunched numbers like COBOL, Trees like APL, And FORTRAN loaned its FORMATs and GO TOs, The cause of many screws. And then a man said, "Now we'll write a monitor, With Multics what it's for. Our project is begun; We'll code in PL/I." Then I saw thousands of coders Searching for their bugs, And then I heard them mentioning my name And leaving me the blame. -- The Great Quux (with apologies to Rice and Webber) @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Title : The Programmer's Blues Original : Smuggler's Blues Group : Glenn Frye Author : Intro : Song : THE PROGRAMMER'S BLUES - WITH APOLOGIES TO GLENN FRYE There's trouble in the data now, I can feel it in my bones, Had a premonition that I shouldn't program alone, Had the new Rev loaded but I didn't think it'd fry, Then everything exploded and 2 weeks work blew sky-high! So baby here's a printout and a keyboard in your hand, And here's a little floppy. Now, do it just the way he planned, You debug for 20 days and I'll pay you 20 grand! I'm sorry it went down like this, but some chip had to fuse. It's the typing of the language, it's the programmer's blues... Programmer's blues... Coder's and analyst's, hacker's and sysop's, The comments and strange bomboffs, and the bugs nobody copped, No matter if it's Pascal, Basic, or Cobol, You've got to carry manuals, there's no online help at all! It's lots of rotten coffee, and lots of dirty food, Every variable name is dangerous, it might have been pre-used, It's the lure of relaxed typing, it's so easy to be crude! Perhaps you'll understand it better, when you see my tools, It's the ultimate enhancement, it's the programmer's blues... Programmer's blues... You see it in the memos, you read them every day, They say you have to fix those bugs, but they don't go away. No matter how hard you work, it just won't run ok, You bury them in subroutines, but you know they are here to stay! You hope that none'll notice them, but they always seem to do, You beg for Beta-testing, maybe one will give a clue, Down from the office of your manager, you learn the heat's on you... Heat's on you... It's a losing proposition, but one you can't refuse, It's policies of debugging, it's the programmer's blues... Programmer's blues... @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Title : Puff the Fractal Dragon Original : Puff the Magic Dragon Group : Peter, Paul and Mary / The Seekers? Author : ? Intro : Song : Puff the Fractal Dragon (to the tune of Puff the Magic Dragon) -------------------------------------------------------------- No plain fanfold paper could hold that fractal Puff -- He grew so fast no plotting pack could shrink him far enough. Compiles and simulations grew so quickly tame And swapped out all their data space when Puff pushed his stack frame. CHORUS: Puff the fractal dragon was written in C, And frolicked while processes switched in mainframe memory. Puff the fractal dragon was written in C, And frolicked while processes switched in mainframe memory. Puff, he grew so quickly, while others moved like snails And mini-Puffs would perch themselves on his gigantic tail. All the student hackers loved that fractal Puff But DCS did not like Puff, and finally said, "Enough!" (chorus) Puff used more resources than DCS could spare. The operator killed Puff's job -- he didn't seem to care. A gloom fell on the hackers; it seemed to be the end, But Puff trapped the exception, and grew from naught again! (chorus) @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Title : Rawhide Original : Rawhide Group : Blues Brothers Author : Michael Weber Intro : Song : (based on RAWHIDE from BluesBrothers) ------------------------------------- Rolling, rolling, rolling, When the screens are scrolling, Keep the Mouses rolling - Rawhide Cores and Shells and dither Dust bin forever Wishin` my disk was in my drive All the things I`m missin` Good Ops, Kills and Listings Are waiting at the end of my file Move `em on Hit `em up Move `em on Rawhide Cut `em out Ride `em in Cut `em out Ride `em in Rawhide Keep hackin`, hackin`, hackin` While Sysop isn`t checkin` Keep other users crackin` - Rawhide I don`t understand her My program has an error Soon I will turn that system off My C-Shell isn`t workin` The Admin catched me lurkin` Lurkin` at the end of my file Move `em on Hit `em up Move `em on Rawhide Cut `em out Ride `em in Cut `em out Ride `em in Rawhide @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Title : Script for a Hacker's Tear Original : Script for a Jester's Tear Group : Marillion Author : Thomas Koenig , Hubert Schaefer Intro : Amazing how adaptive the original is, there wasn't much to change :-) Song : Script for a Hacker's Tear So here I am once more in the playground of the broken hacks one more experience, one more entry in the logfile, self - typed yet another programming suicide overdosed on caffeine and bytes Too late to say I'll fix it too late to remount the drive abandoning the listings of projects no longer alive I'm losing on this VAX, I'm losing with these system calls I'm losing on this VAX, I'm losing with these system calls Too much, too soon, too far, to go, too late to type, this hack is over This hack is over So here I am once more in the playground of the broken hacks I'm losing on this VAX, losing with these system calls, this hack is over, over Yet another programming suicide overdosed on caffeine and bytes I'm losing on this VAX, I'm losing with these system calls, this hack is over Too late to say I'll fix it too late to remount the drive The hack is over @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Title : SIGHUP Blues Original : Bluebottle Blues Group : Milligan and Carbone Author : Russell Street Intro : Adapted from the "Bluebottle Blues" featuring Maurice Plonk and his Orchestra Fromage, with Nick Rauchen conducting "The Ball's Pond Road, near the One in Harmony". In reality written by Milligan and Carbone, recorded 24/05/56. Song : SIGHUP Blues ------------ By Russell Street (russells@ccu1.aukuni.ac.nz) P: PING 255.255.255.255! K: Just the process I've been looking for. P: Oh! K: Clamber into my disk heads, Fred Whence all but you have exec'd, Fred There is no contesting, I've no way of manefesting How much I'd prefer you dead, Fred P: Oh I'm glad you like me, my Kernel Because I trust you to. K: Gratifiy your wim, Jim. P: Jim? What happened to Fred? K: He mv'd his name. P: What to? K: Chunky. Tell me, can you catch Jim? P: No, Jim can not catch. K: Then open this named pipe, son On the file system, son Which I have carefully arranged so it will open up and throw you into thirty K of NULLs when you upset the pipe by reading from it, Jim. P: I say, it's not for deading me, is it Kernel? K: Oh course not, dear boy! Just read from it a bit further! P: Righty-ho then. Ahh. Here I am on the edge of the nice little named-type pipe. It is a lovely day for a naughty pipe. YAHHH! You've swamped me. I do not like this game. I've got those "When I say I trust you I do not want to be KILLed because I do not like those kind of signals" Blues. I don't like naughty files that give my gets(3) binary data. (They say harm can come to a growing process like that) And I do not like SIGQUITs that longjmp me back to main() Out of my reniced batch queue I don't like being woken by nasty SIGALRM showers And I do not like being nutted by Eifel and Fortran programs So I do not want to be KILLed, HUPed, TERMed, QUITed, XCPUed INTed! I don't like that kind of type blues -- I don't like that I've got them SIGHUP Blues. K: Still alive? Take this /dev/tty, pet. P: Oh tar(1). K: No, don't iocntl it yet, pet. All right, now you can iocntl it. P: Are you sure I won't be KILLed or nothing, Kernel? K: No, no -- don't be frightened! P: All right then, I'll just send a DUP to it, and .... < BOOOM> < over explosion > You rotten swine you! You HUPed me again. I shan't play this rotten game no more. Closes open files, pages out memory And exists through little hole in Mail deamon security... @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Title : Software for Nothing Original : Money for Nothing Group : Dire Straits Author : Brent CJ Britton Intro : Song : Software for Nothing ==================== by: Brent CJ Britton With appoligies to Mark Knopfler. I waaaant my.. I waaaant my... I waaaant my C-R-T...... Now look at them hackers, That's the way ya' do it. Ya' play with mem'ry that you cannot see. Now that ain't workin, that's the way ya do it. Get your software for nothing and your chips for free. Now that ain't workin, gotta CPU-it. Let me tell ya, them guys ain't dumb. Maybe crash the system with your little finger, Maybe crash the system with your thumb. We got to install micro-data-bases, Gotta make things run like a breeeeze. We gotta help these foreign students, We gotta help these mindless E.E.'s... The little Hacker with the Pepsi and the Munchos: Yeah, buddy, don't like to SHARE... The little Hacker got his own compiler, The little guy don't change his underwear. We got to install the latest debugger, Under budget, and optimiiiiiiized. We got to have more muddy-black coffee, We got a green glow in our eyyyyyyes... I shoulda' learned to play with Pascal. I shoulda' learned to program some. Look at that drive, I'm gonna stick it on the channel, Man, it's better than the old one... And who's up there, what's that? Beeping noises? He's bangin on the keyboard like a chimpanze. Oh that aint workin, that's the way ya do it, Get your software for nothin', get your chips for free. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Title : Socket Man Original : Rocket Man Group : Elton John Author : Wes Morgan Intro : While attempting to thrash a socket-ridden BSD package to some semblance of System V-ism, the following ditty camne unbidden.... Song : Socket Man I got my source last night from FTP Compiling up at 2 AM And my system is screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaming "Undefined" at me..... I thumb through books, I use my 'man' It does no good, you see 'Cause I'm on System Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive And not BSD Chorus: And I think it's gonna take a lot of time 'Till named pipes bring me where I get to find That BSD's not worth a pile of slime (oh no no noooooooo) I'm a Socket Man..... Socket Man....burning up the CPU for days Socket Man....hacking through the SVID maze.... Verse 2: I've tried so many things, they all have failed, It's lonely in the lab And noone elllllllllsssssssssee Has a clue.... And all the techniques I don't understand It's just a kludge to make it work... A Socket Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan Socket Man..... Chorus: And I think it's gonna take a lot of time 'Till named pipes bring me where I get to find That BSD's not worth a pile of slime (oh no no noooooooo) I'm a Socket Man...... Socket Man.....Hacking through the piles and piles of C Socket Man.....Building up a hate for BSD.... @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Title : Song of the Certified Data Processor Original : When I Was a Lad Group : Gilbert and Sullivan Author : Guy L. Steele Jr. Intro : Song : Song of the Certified Data Processor [to be sung to the tune of When I Was a Lad from H.M.S. Pinafore] When I was a lad I served a term As office boy to a computing firm. I polished the handle of the big front door And swept up all the card chips from the keypunch floor. He swept up all the card chips from the keypunch floor. I swept that chad so carefullee That now I am officially a CDP. He swept that chad so carefullee That now he is officially a CDP. My office job was a heavy load, So I went to night school and learned to code. I was soon coding payroll in RPG And compiled all my programs on a System/3. He compiled all his programs on a System/3. I compiled my code so gay and free That now I am officially a CDP. He compiled his code so gay and free That now he is officially a CDP. I wrote efficient code each day, But I missed the benefits of higher pay. I asked for a raise, but my boss said, "See, Youse ain't good enuf because youse ain't a CDP." "He ain't good enuf because he ain't a CDP." So I vowed that someday I would see Myself become officially a CDP. So he vowed that someday he would see Himself become officially a CDP. For nineteen weeks I worked to cram All the textbooks for the CDP exam. Then I took the exam and was shocked to see That the questions didn't seem to mean a thing to me. All the questions didn't seem to mean a thing to him. So I wrote down some answers randomly, But I gave up all my hopes to be a CDP. So he wrote down some answers randomly, But he gave up all his hopes to be a CDP. Well, those random answers worked out fine; They scored my results at the top of the line. Now I am a consultant here, And I make at least a hundred thousand bucks each year. And he makes at least a hundred thousand bucks each year. But I only command such a salary Because I am officially a CDP. But he only commands such a salary Because he is officially a CDP. Now, office boys, whoever you may be, If you want to rise to the top of the tree, Just go and take the CDP exam, And no matter what you answer they won't give a D--n! And no matter what you answer they won't give a D--n! Just answer it all as random as you please And you will all officially be CDPs. Just answer it all as random as you please And you will all officially be CDPs. -- The Great Quux (with apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan) @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Title : The Sound of FORTRAN Original : The Sound of Music Group : Rodgers and Hammerstein Author : Guy L. Steele Jr. Intro : Song : The Sound of FORTRAN [to be sung to the tune of The Sound of Music] My programming day has come to an end, I know, But one minor bug still restrains me, though, So back to me desk I stumble, More coffee I pour in my mug, So back to me desk I stumble, More coffee I pour in my mug, And I drink, and I think, and I program Just one more hack, just one more hairy kludge To remove that bug. Machines are alive with the sound of FORTRAN, With numbers they've crunched for a thousand hours; They add and subtract to the sound of FORTRAN, And raise fractions to unheard of powers. My code's full of REAL statements, INTEGER and COMPLEX too, duplicated thrice oe'r, And so intermixed with the WRITEs and READs to cause errors galore; Arrays are declared of dimension six, but indexed minus two; Computed GO TOs are last in the range of a DO! I now recompile my corrected programs; I know I will get what compiled before -- My code will be blessed with the sound of FORTRAN, And I'll lose once more. And I'll lose once more. -- The Great Quux (with apologies to Rodgers and Hammerstein) @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Title : The Sounds of Silence Original : The Sound of Silence Group : Simon & Garfunkel Author : ? Intro : Song : THE SOUNDS OF SCIENCE Hello lab work my old foe I've come to feel my anger grow I have to find your composition Using your spectograph emission But I can't, and I'm on my seventh try I start to cry These are the sounds of science My test tube shatters with a pop The gunk eats through the tabletop Through all the science labs in Thimann You can hear the students screamin' And my own voice rises up above the rest I'm so depressed These are the sounds of science The tabletop begins to smoke The students all begin to choke The TA hurries to my station And then dies of asphyxiation And I whine "I'm having trouble with this class I hope I pass." These are the sounds of science The deadly smoke goes through the halls And peels the paint right off the walls And then I note with aggravation This means a bad evaluation And I breathe a long and melancholy sigh And then I die These are the sounds of science @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Title : Structured Programmer's Soliloquy Original : Hamlet's Soliloquy Group : Shakespeare Author : Henry Kleine and Philip H. Roberts Intro : Song : Structured Programmer's Soliloquy SP or not SP -- that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer The rules and exceptions of outrageous FORTRAN Or to take arms against a sea of transfers And by structuring end them. To code -- to test No more; and by a test to say we end The heartache, and the thousand natural mistakes That FORTRAN is heir to. 'Tis a consummation Devoutly to be wish'd. To code -- to test. To test -- perchance to bomb: aye, there's the rub! For in that test of code what bugs may come When we have shuffled of this FORTRAN code, Must give us pause. There's the respect that makes calamity of so long lists. [??] For who would bear the whips and scorns of time-sharing Th' operating systems wrong, the computer's crash, The pangs of despis'd code, the turnaround's delay, The insolence of compilers, and the spurns That patient coding of FORTRAN takes When he himself might his quietus make with PL/I? Who would this FORTRAN Bear, To grunt and sweat under a weary language, But that the dread of something after FORTRAN The undiscover'd country, from whose bourne No programmer returns -- puzzles the will, And makes us rather bear those ills we have Than fly to others that we know not of? Thus conscience does make cowards of us all, And thus the native hue of resolution Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought, And enterprises of great pith and moment With this regard their currents turn away And lose the name of action. - Henry Kleine and Philip H. Roberts April DATAMATION @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Title : The Swapper Original : The Seeker Group : The Who Author : Jamie Mason Intro : Since I posted 'Unix Wizard', I thought up another Unix-specific song inspired by The Who... Song : The Swapper (Concocted by Jamie Mason to 'The Seeker' by The Who) ----------- I've looked in kernel memory, I've looked in the tables. I try to find some core For fifty million pages. They call me the swapper. I've been searching low and high. Unix won't run out of memory Till the day I die. I asked Dennis Ritchie, I asked Ken Thompson. I asked comp.unix.wizards, But they couldn't help me either. They call me the swapper. I've been searching low and high. Unix won't run out of memory Till the day I die. People tend to hate me, Cause I swap too slow. As I page out their jobs They want to shake my hand. Focusing on swap space, Investigating pagefaults, I'm a pagedaemon, I'm a very desperate hack. Unix won't run out of memory Till the day I die. I learned how to raise resident set size. Yeah, but look at this process it's mem'ry bound! I'm happy when you segfault, and when you run thrash.c I crash. I get values but I Don't know how or why! I'm looking for core, You're looking for CPU, We're running on the same box, And we don't know what to do! They call me the swapper. I've been searching low and high. Unix won't run out of memory Till the day I die. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Title : Take me Down to the SunLab Original : Take me Out of the Ball Game Group : Al Green & Mabon Hodges Author : ? Intro : Song : TAKE ME DOWN TO THE SUN LAB Take me down to the Sun lab Take me down to 210 We'll edit our programs and scratch our heads Never mind that I'd rather be dead And we'll root, root, root through the listing Looking for dollar star 'name' And it's one, two, three downloads in the old Sun lab game! Take me down to the Sun lab Take me down to 210 We'll run the assembler and have a snack I don't care if it never comes back And we'll wait, wait, wait for the download If it don't work it's a shame And it's one, two, three downloads in the old Sun lab game! Take me down to the Sun lab Take me down to 210 We'll program our I/O and interrupts Sometimes it just makes me want to throw up And we'll press, press, press on the reset Each time it goes up in flames And it's one, two, three downloads in the old Sun lab game! @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Title : Tap My Wire Original : Light my Fire Group : The Doors Author : Maarten Loss <90406025@hse.nl> Intro : In addition to the neverending flow of hack-n-roll songs, I decided to post this one. It's based on the all time Doors-hit "Light my fire". Song : Tap my wire (the more's) ~~~~~~~~~~ You know that I would be untrue You know that I would be a 'foo' If I was to say to you We couldn't hack ourselves to root Come on hackers tap a wire Come on hackers tap a wire Try to set the mode-bits higher The time to sit and watch is gone No time to linger in the shell Try to make crack-programs run Yes we will make the tty's bell Come on hackers tap a wire Come on hackers tap a wire Try to set the mode-bits higher @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Title : That was the HASP my friend Original : Those were the days my friend Group : Mary Hopkin Author : ? (Another Cambrigde product) Intro : Song : Once upon a time there was a system Which read and spooled and ran the printers too. Remember how we coded up the changes, And dreamed of all the great things we could do. That was the HASP my friend, There's no use to pretend, We sang and danced and coded the night away. We'd make the mods we choose, We'd fight and never lose, For we had HASP and it would lead the way. Tra-la la-LA la-la, Tra-la la-LA la-la, We had the HASP and it would lead the way. Then the busy years went rushing by us, HASP went version two to version three. The features and enhancements kept on coming, From execution batch to R-J-E. That was the HASP my friend ... Soon the days on VS were upon us, The future role of HASP was now in doubt. But version four of HASP was soon to follow, And show what virtual spooling's all about. Yet today there looms another system, It's more complex and difficult to grasp. We look at M-V-S and ask the question, Is that JES2 system really HASP? It's really HASP my friend: There's no use to pretend. We'll sing and dance and code the night away. We'll make the mods we choose, We'll fight and never lose, For we have HASP and it will lead the way. Tra-la la-LA la-la, Tra-la la-LA la-la, We still have HASP and it will lead the way. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Title : The 12 computerised days of Xmas Original : The 12 days of Xmas Group : Traditional Author : (Byte 1981?) Intro : [for the second version] Here's another version of the Twelve Days of Christmas ... more recent than _Byte_'s, obviously, since it's got mouses. This sounds a lot like the original Christmas carol if you don't pay attention. [George Sicherman ] Song : [two, actually ;-] On the Twelfth day of Christmas , my computer gave to me Twelve blown-out circuits Eleven damaged diskettes Ten disk-drive lockouts Nine burnt-out fuses Eight worthless printouts Seven system resets Six I/O spasms Five Blank Cassettes Four garbled SAVEs Three loose plugs Two keyboard bounces And a glitch on the video screen ... and another version: The Computer's Twelve Days of Christmas My true love gave to me Twelve plotters plotting, Eleven printers grinding, Ten punches jamming, Nine nixies blinking, Eight drums a-spinning, Seven screens a-scrolling, Six mice a-clicking, Five write rings, Four coding sheets, Three punch cards, Two paper tapes, And a cartridge in a P.C. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Title : These are are a Few of Our Favorite Machines Original : These are a Few of My Favorite Things Group : Traditional Author : Nelson Bishop Intro : This song was written about the time the Mac was first introduced. Most of the machines mentioned were some sort of IBM PC semi- compatible. We generally managed to port to them in time for them to be withdrawn from the market. The memory singing refers to an Alpha Byte memory expansion board which had an audible high pitched whine. Song : These are are a Few of Our Favorite Machines (To the tune of "These are a Few of My Favorite Things") Compaqs and Lisas and hard disks with tape drives, Sperrys and Victors and Wangs with no disk drives. Gray IBMs with the mem'ry that sings, These are a few of our favorite machines. >>> END PART 4 -- ,-----,------,--,--, / / / / / Stefan Haenssgen, Comp Sci, Uni Karlsruhe, Germany / ---/-, ,-/ / / / / / / / / haenssgen@ira.uka.de or uk0w@dkauni2.bitnet /--- / / / / / / / / / / / / / "Use the SOURCE, Luke!" (Return of the RedEye Nights) '-----' '--' '--'--' "I feel a great disturbance in the SOURCE"