From: LAZAR "Lazar V. Mustur" 16-JAN-1996 15:17:40.41 To: TERRY CC: Subj: You'll like this --- Fwd:--------------------------------------------------------------------- The Washington Post January 01, 1996 Beyond the Beltway 1995; You Thought Things Were Strange Here By; Ken Ringle, Washington Post Staff Writer You say you guessed right on O.J., kept up with Bosnia, figured out the federal budget impasse and even beat the spread on both Redskins-Cowboys games, and yet you still feel you missed a few things that happened in 1995? Here, selected from wire dispatches, is what you've been looking for. Thinning Out the Herd MEDFORD, Ore. -- A 27-year-old jobless man with an MBA said his college degree was to blame for his murdering three people. "There are too many business grads out there," he said. "If I had chosen another field, all this may not have happened." Accountability NIZHNY NOVGOROD, Russia -- Zoo directors threatened to set two tigers loose on the town unless city officials came up with money to feed them. Rubber Bullet ALBANY, N.Y. -- New York recalled thousands of defective condoms sent to community organizations across the state for distribution in safe-sex programs. Love Is Strange (1) MASSENA, N.Y. -- Less than two months after watching her former boyfriend kill her date with a shotgun blast to the head, a 19-year-old woman declared herself ready to marry him. Love Is Strange (2) RIVERSIDE, Ohio -- A man whose wife offered an undercover police officer $500 to kill him for his lottery winnings said he's still in love with her and wants to patch things up. But he objected to the cheap price she put on his head. Why Mail Is Late DENVER -- A postal clerk was arrested after arriving at work in a pickup truck loaded with guns and hunting knives, wearing a dress, a gorilla mask and what authorities described as "a strap-on sexual device." Nip and Tuck ORANGE, Calif. -- A 35-year-old man had 62 pounds of loose skin removed from his body after a 400-pound weight loss left him looking like a deflated balloon. California Culture (1) LOS ANGELES -- Grand jurors looking into the bankruptcy of Orange County were told that the county's former treasurer consulted an astrologer and a psychic for advice on investing county funds. California Culture (2) LOS ANGELES -- Two men who broke into a mortuary and had sexual contact with two female corpses were charged only with burglary, since necrophilia is not illegal in California. Disneyland Culture (1) ANAHEIM, Calif. -- A handicapped woman had her annual pass to Disneyland revoked for speeding in her motorized wheelchair. Disneyland Culture (2) ANAHEIM, Calif. -- A former Mouseketeer sued Disneyland, claiming that her grandchildren were traumatized when they were taken to an office and allowed to see Disney characters disrobe. Aesthete EL PASO -- A trucker was convicted of shooting his wife to death and chopping her up into 21 pieces that he painted gold, gray and blue. Al Dente, Please BOSTON -- An insurance executive was charged with tearing out his wife's heart and lungs and impaling them on a stake in a fight about overcooked ziti. The Age of Tolerance WEST DUNDEE, Ill. -- An Algonquin, Ill., man was charged with assaulting a pregnant woman because he was bothered by her cigarette smoke. Animal Rights (1) MIAMI -- A Dade County judge sentenced a man to five years in prison for killing a puppy, saying the case appeared to concern the public more than most murders. Animal Rights (2) CACERES, Spain -- A British animal rights activist making a film to protest bullfighting festivals was seriously gored by one of the bulls she said needed protection. Animal Rights (3) LOS ANGELES -- Authorities launched an investigation of an animal rights group called Mercy Crusade Inc. after discovering the organization had bought or ordered 34 guns in the past year, including rifles, assault pistols and other weapons restricted under federal laws. Crooks Are Dumb (1) CHICAGO -- Two men tried to hold up a bar where 100 police officers were holding a party. Crooks Are Dumb (2) HOMINY, Okla. -- A convict serving 20 years for burglary, 115 years for rape and 20 years for larceny tried to escape by hiding in a truck of pig slop. Police Priorities NEW YORK -- Police in Manhattan fined a woman $50 for permitting her bladder-desperate 4-year-old to relieve himself behind a tree in Central Park. Hooray for Doctors (1) BANGKOK -- A Thai woman who complained of chest pains was X-rayed and found to contain a surgical clamp left in her body after an operation 18 years earlier. Hooray for Doctors (2) WILMINGTON, N.C. -- A patient filed a lawsuit in a North Carolina county court charging that a surgeon left her in the operating room with her brain exposed while he went to lunch. Hooray for Doctors (3) BLANTYRE, Malawi -- Malawi police arrested a hospital medical assistant for raping a pregnant patient and then telling her that it was a modern physical examination procedure. Hooray for Nurses WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. -- A 77-year-old woman recovering from surgery in a West Palm Beach hospital woke up with fire ants swarming all over her. Nurses in the intensive-care unit told her she was imagining things. Food Fight LUBBOCK, Tex. -- Officials at Texas Tech officially declared it unsportsmanlike for spectators to sail tortillas onto the field during football games. Noise Pollution STOCKHOLM -- A man has been charged with murdering his wife for running the vacuum cleaner while he watched television. Back Pain LAGOS, Nigeria -- Three Nigerians, including a 75-year-old man, were sentenced to hang for killing a hunchback and cutting off his hump for use in a potion to make a businessman rich. What's My Line? BRASILIA -- Brazil's health ministry discarded the name given to a "talking penis" used in an anti-AIDS ad campaign after angry protests from people with the same name. Coffin Corner SEVILLE, Spain -- The son of a die-hard Spanish soccer fan bought season tickets for his father's ashes. Fast Food (1) NEW YORK -- A New York City woman filed a $50 million lawsuit claiming she choked on a mouse head while eating a bowl of chili at a Wendy's restaurant. Fast Food (2) LA GRANDE, Ore. -- A customer at a Denny's restaurant was ordered to perform 20 hours of community service for screaming obscenities, throwing money and refusing to leave when the restaurant charged him extra to substitute hash browns for eggs on his Grand Slam Breakfast. Annals of Journalism (1) KNOXVILLE, Tenn. -- A former newspaper lifestyles editor was sentenced to four years in prison for trying to kill the husband of a member of his church's choir -- a woman he had profiled in a Mother's Day article and with whom he was having an affair. Annals of Journalism (2) KENNEWICK, Wash. -- A well-coifed local TV reporter was stung more than 30 times when bees swarmed on his hair gel. Annals of Communication LAUNCESTON, Australia -- An Australian man was fined $1,500 for quacking like a duck on his radio transmitter. Dye-Hard Fan CARLSTADT, N.J. -- A 22-year-old Notre Dame fan sued a local tattoo parlor, seeking unspecified damages because the artist who worked on him left the "t" out of his "Fighting Irish" tattoo. Social Climbing SAQQARA, Egypt -- Archeologists uncovered two 4,000-year-old tombs extended underground into a pharoah's sacred pyramid in an apparently covert effort to elbow their owners into a better afterlife. Cultural Diversity PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. -- A teenager beat and choked a 78-year-old woman to death because she voiced offense at the rap lyrics he was singing. Proof of Age MIDDLESBROUGH, England -- A retired British soldier, forced to give up his regular 100-mile bike rides when he turned 80, was advised by doctors on the eve of his 100th birthday to stop the weight-lifting regimen he has followed since returning from World War I. Animals Are Human (1) LONDON -- Articles in the British journal New Scientist report that pigeons have been spotted getting around London by subway, getting off and on at specific stops. Animals Are Human (2) JERUSALEM -- An Israeli scientist who discovered that hens lay more eggs when exposed to classical music has found that they lay still more eggs when given toys to play with. Animals Are Human (3) BEIJING -- An owl in the southern Chinese province of Jiangxi built a nest in a farmer's house so it could watch television every night with the farmer's family. Gourmet Cooking (1) NEW YORK -- Police investigating complaints of a smell like a long-dead body broke into a home to find collard greens cooking while the owner was away. Gourmet Cooking (2) RIO DE JANEIRO -- Eight people unwittingly ate the liver of a murder victim served up fried with onions and garlic in a bar in Brazil. "The only difference I noticed was that the meat was a bit tough and I had to let it fry for longer than usual," said the cook, who didn't realize he was sauteing a customer. Bon Appetit JAKARTA, Indonesia -- A Jakarta newspaper disclosed that termites have eaten their way through at least half of Indonesia's government buildings, appearing to find those built in the 1970s particularly tasty. Your Tax Dollars WASHINGTON -- After five years of pondering the hazards of the common five-gallon bucket, the Consumer Product Safety Commission decided not to require it be redesigned so children can't fall in. The commission agreed instead to let manufacturers spend $500,000 warning the public that children might fall in. Buzz Bomb INDEPENDENCE, Kan. -- A pilot was convicted of littering after buzzing the town at rooftop and bombing Main Street with a four-pack of toilet paper. Elephant Walk HANOVER, Pa. -- A driver impatient with the pace of a circus parade honked his horn and stampeded six elephants through a shopping mall parking lot, breaking windows and squashing cars. Annals of Sport TAMARAC, Fla. -- Statuesque caddies from a strip joint called the Booby Trap were ordered to wear more than sun block for the naked golf tournament at the Colony West Country Club after a protesting member moved his daughter's bat mitzvah party from the clubhouse. Modern Penology (1) PHOENIX -- A sheriff known for his get-tough attitude with macho prisoners has ordered inmates in his charge to wear pink underwear. Modern Penology (2) SAN DIEGO -- An inmate sued local prison officials for $2,000 because they refused to provide his cell with dental floss. Wash Cycle ROCKFORD, Ill. -- A three-foot pet king snake that had been missing for six months emerged alive -- and very clean -- from a surprised tenant's washing machine. Dry Cycle STOCKHOLM -- A mother out of patience with her rambunctious 3-year-old was charged with assaulting a minor after she stuffed him into a clothes dryer and tumbled him for a while. The child emerged unhurt but sporting a "vacant expression." Recycling STOCKHOLM -- Highway engineers in Sweden discovered that sprinkling roads with wolf urine keeps elks from wandering into traffic. Nuns Were Right CHICAGO -- An ophthalmology journal says vigorous sex really can make you blind. But only in rare cases and never for long.