X-NEWS: spcvxb alt.folklore.computers: 23606 Relay-Version: VMS News - V6.0-3 14/03/90 VAX/VMS V5.4; site spcvxb.spc.edu Path: spcvxb.spc.edu!rutgers!ub!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!cs.utexas.edu!uunet!mcsun!Germany.EU.net!ira.uka.de!uka!iras4!hanssgen Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers,de.talk.jokes Subject: Computer Song Collection 1.2e [part 2/7] Message-ID: From: hanssgen@ira.uka.de (Stefan Haenssgen) Date: 16 May 92 15:41:14 GMT Followup-To: alt.folklore.computers Organization: University of Karlsruhe, FRG Keywords: computer song parody NNTP-Posting-Host: iras4.ira.uka.de Lines: 1011 >>> BEGIN PART 2 <<< Rice and Webber) @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Title : Berkeley 4.3 Original : Yellow Submarine Group : Beatles Author : Jim Finnis Intro : [fragment] Song : In the RAM where I was forked, lived a ROM, who sailed the C... And he told, me of his life, in the Berkeley, 4.3... We all live in the Berkeley 4.3, Berkeley 4.3, Berkeley 4.3. We all live in the Berkeley 4.3, Berkeley 4.3, Berkeley 4.3. ((c) White the Wizard productions Ltd, 1987) @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Title : Boot It Original : Beat it Group : Michael Jackson Author : ? Intro : Song : Boot It You're processing some words when your keyboard goes dead, Ten pages in the buffer, should have gone to bed, The system just crashed, but don't lose your head, Just BOOT IT, just BOOT IT. Better think fast, better do what you can, Read the manual or call your system man, Don't want to fall behind in the race with Japan, So BOOT IT, Get the system manager to BOOT IT, BOOT IT, Even though you'd rather shoot it. Don't be upset, it's only some glitch. All that you do is flip a little switch. BOOT IT, BOOT IT, Get right down and restitute it. Don't get excited, all is not lost. CP/M, UNIX or MS/DOS Just BOOT IT, boot it, boot it, boot it... You gotta have your printout for the meeting at two, The system says your jobs at the head of the queue, Right then the thing dies but you know what to do, BOOT IT. You always get so worried when the system runs slow, And when it finally crashes, man you feel so low, But computers make mistakes (they're only human you know) So BOOT IT, Call the local guru to BOOT IT, BOOT IT, Go ahead re-institute it. If you're not lucky, get the book off the shelf, But if you are, it'll do itself. BOOT IT, BOOT IT, Then go find the guy who screwed it! Operating systems are built to bounce back, Whether it's a Cray or a Radio Shack. BOOT IT, BOOT IT @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Title : Both Ways, Now Original : Both Sides, Now Group : Joni Mitchell Author : Guy L. Steele Jr. Intro : Song : Both Ways, Now [to be sung to the tune of Both Sides, Now] Decimal digits in a row, Just set the dials and let 'er go. The ENIAC was grossly slow -- I used to code that way, But then this Fortran came along; I danced and sang a happy song: So natural -- what could go wrong? I little knew, that day! I've looked at Fortran both ways, now, At II and IV, and still somehow, It's rows of numbers I recall; I really don't know Fortran at all. Fortran IV is real good stuff, But business hackers have it tough; For them this Fortran's not enough -- Then Cobol saved the day! But now I sing a sad refrain; This Cobol loss is no one's gain, And writing programs is a pain (I get writer's cramp that way!) I've looked at Cobol both ways, now, I code in it, and still somehow, It's FORMAT statements I recall; I really don't know Cobol at all. Cobol will for business do; Accounts and payroll make it through (And bills for zero dollars too -- I get them every day!) But those who hack symbolic frobs Cannot make do with Cobol jobs, And now I sing through anguished sobs, But Lisp is here to stay. I've looked at Lisp code both ways, now, At lambda forms, and still somehow, It's Cobol statements I recall; I really don't know Lisp at all. -- The Great Quux (with apologies to Joni Mitchell) @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Title : The Boys of HP Original : The Boys of Summer Group : Don Henley Author : Adam Sah Intro : This reminds me of something we printed here in C.S. Major Magazine regarding our beloved Hewlett-Packard 300 Series... Song : The Boys of HP (sung to the tune 'The Boys of Summer' by Don Henley) -------------- (csfs1 = Comp. Sci File Server 1) Nobody in the room no cursor on the screen I feel it in the air 'csfs1 not responding' empty disk, empty screen, the server goes down alone I was logged into my account and I know you have no phone. I can see it the workstation's collecting dust You've got your 'console long:' and your blank screen, baby. And I can tell you I'll never get my source by dawn once the boys from HP have gone. I'll never forget those night. I wonder if I ever got to sleep? Remember how you made me crazy Remember how _you_ made _me_ scream? I don't understand what happened to my source If I can't ever get it back, I'm sure you have no remorse. I can see it the system crashing on me you've got your pinstriped suit and your corporate paranoia, baby. And I can tell you my love for this will still be strong after the boys of HP have gone Out in the corridors I saw a bunch of lost programmers A little voice inside my head say, "Don't buy more, you should never buy more" I thought I knew where my source was What did I know? Those servers are gone forever, I should just let them go, but- I can see it- your drives eating my work You've got that salesman's pitch and your demo running baby. and I can tell you- my love for CS will still be strong even after the boys from HP have gone. (c) 1991 by Adam Sah @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Title : Bye Bye, Unix Original : American Pie Group : Don Mclean Author : Cathy Flint, Eric Griswold, Scott Neugroschl Intro : I went back to my old alma-mader, UC Santa Cruz, a week ago. Things there always seem to be getting worse, although everybody admits it's still better than Berkeley. Anyway, the current rage is to make fun of the CIS (Computer & Informational Sciences) department political situation through song verses. The following is a typical example, even though some of it isn't true...... Song : American Pie --- Hacker Style Long, long, time ago, I can still remember How UNIX used to make me smile... And I knew that with a login name That I could play those UNIX games And maybe hack some programs for a while. But February made me shiver With every program I'd deliver Bad news on the doorstep, I couldn't take one more spec... I can't remember getting smashed When I heard about the system crash And all the passwords got rehashed The Day That UNIX Died... And I was singing: Bye, bye, nroff, rogue and vi Gave my program to Phil Levy but Phil Levy was high, The boys on the board were sayin' "fuck this, goodbye." Singin' this'll be the day that I die... This'll be the day that I die Did you write the new games shell And do you have faith in the manual? If b:dennie tells you so... Well, do you believe in UNIX C Can hacking save you memory And can you tell me why vi's so slow Well, I know that you're in love with C 'Cause I saw your code on UNIX B You just kicked off your shoes Man, you cleaned up every kludge! I was a lonely young computer geek With a program due 'most every week But I guess that I was meant to freak The Day That UNIX Died And I was singin: (chorus) Well, for ten weeks we've been in this class The professor really is an ass. But that's not how it used to be... When Ira Pohl taught in CIS 12 And user limits could go to hell And there was still space on UNIX C. And while the board was looking 'round The Chancellor brought the budget down The classes were adjourned Evaluations weren't returned And while Huffman read a book by Pohl The CIS board made some prof's heads roll And we wrote programs that weren't whole The Day That UNIX Died And we were singin'... (chorus) Helter skelter in the summer swelter I went in the lab to find some shelter Ninety degrees and risin' faaaaaasst!!! C stayed up for ten whole days The hackers really were amazed Wonderin' how long it all would last. Well, both the forums were really great Nobody got us all irate We had a stroke of luck The system was not fucked 'Cause the hackers kept their code real clean The UNDR-shell was really keen Do you recall what was the scene The Day That UNIX Died And we were singin... (chorus) Our programs were all in one place, UNIX had run out of space With no time left to start again... So, Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Use every programming trick 'Cause UNIX may soon crash again... And as I watched the system fill My login process would be killed. The system just went down Consternation up at Crown!!!! The hours went on into the night And all that we could do was rite I saw Dennie laughing with delight The Day That UNIX Died And he was singin'... (chorus) I met a girl who sang the blues And I asked her for some stat lab news But she just cursed and said "grow up" I went down through the stat lab door Where I'd learned of UNIX years before But the man there said that UNIX wasn't up And in the halls the students screamed, The majors cried and the hackers dreamed, But not a word was spoken The Vaxes all were broken And the three folks I admire most The Father, Frank, and a.g.'s ghost They caught the last train for the coast The Day That UNIX Died And they were singin... So bye, bye, nroff, rogue and vi Gave my program to Phil Levy but Phil Levy was high. The boys on the board were sayin' "fuck this, goodbye" Singin' this'll be the day that I die... (with apologies to Don McLean) -- Cathy Flint Eric Griswold Scott Neugroschl @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Title: CAMM (Crustified Ancient of Main Memory) Original: Justified Ancients of Moo Moo Groyp: KLF Author: Jonathan Dursi (dursi@clavius.stmarys.ca) Intro: C CAMM - Crustified Ancient of Main Memory. C C This came out of the depths of despair while I was modifying C A *really* old, *really* big (IMHO) FORTRAN program, that C is CPU intensive and *seriously* inefficient. C C It just sort of appeared in my editor while I was working C on the thing. And it produced fewer compilation errors C than the rest of it... C C My sincerest of apologies to the KLF. C - Jonathan Dursi C dursi@clavius.stmarys.ca Song: Over a Meg of old FORTRAN! Over a Meg of old FORTRAN! Hey! Hey, Hey! Over a Meg of old FORTRAN! (cruftified!) Hey, Hey! Over a Meg of old FORTRAN! It's cruftified, and it's ancient, and it loves to use up RAM. (from 1K to the top!) It's cruftified, and it's ancient, and it's code I don't understand. (and it's big, and it's BIG, and it's *BIG* now!) He pulled me out of class, you see, He said, "Dursi, _you_ know FORTRAN! I doubt that you'll like what you're *going* to do, But you'd better start now, because we need it soon!" (Bring my 'C' back!) Hey, Hey! Over a Meg of old FORTRAN! (cruftified!) Hey, Hey! Over a Meg of old FORTRAN! old FORTRAN! old FORTRAN! Over a Meg of old FORTRAN! It's cruftified, and it's ancient, and it eats CPU, that CAMM... (at least a GigaFLOP!) It's cruftified, and it's ancient, "But sir, I had other plans..." (That's too bad, that's too bad, that's too bad now!) The last compile started half hour ago, And the users are starting to mob! Over a Meg of old FORTRAN, Then someone started screaming, turn off that job! (give the keyboard back!) Hey, Hey! Over a Meg of old FORTRAN! (cruftified!) Hey, Hey! Over a Meg of old FORTRAN! (Cruftified and ancient, Ancient and it's cruftified, Will not compile though I've tried and tried, With the errors in the go-tos, Common Blocks and Do-loops In the hundred thousand lines of the CAMM. I'd really like to take a nap, 'Cuz I know what time it is, But I think it will compile if I change this line... Oops, well, guess not, looks like I'll be Fishing through the listings all night. Fishing through the listings all night! Hey! Fishing through the listings all night! Hey! Fishing through the listings, Fishing through the listings, Fishing through the listings all night! Hey! VAX Pascal! Starting to look pretty good. VAX FORTRAN? Bring my 'C' Back!) Hey, Hey! Over a Meg of old FORTRAN! Hey, Hey! Over a Meg of old FORTRAN! old FORTRAN! old FORTRAN! Over a Meg of old FORTRAN! old FORTRAN! old FORTRAN! Over a Meg of old FORTRAN! old FORTRAN! old FORTRAN! Over a Meg of old FORTRAN! @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Title : Can't parse this Original : U Can't Touch This Group : MC Hammer Author : patrick widener Intro : rap it to the tune of "U Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer, and watch your phrasing.... :) Song : can't parse this my assignments hit me so hard make me say, "oh my lord thank you for blessin me with a load to code and a 2 hype seat" right here, in front of a Sparc looks good in the light, looks better in the dark but it tells me - in a manner quite harsh "This is a string I can't parse" (I told ya, kludge-boy) Can't Parse This (yea, a fatal error and you know) Can't Parse This (look at that code, maaaan) Can't Parse This (yo lemme bust some funky diagnostics) "fresh new bugs, and errors your code is more than compiler terror it's rotten - to the core i don't like it but you know i'll get more than i can handle hold on identifier not found or your semicolon's gone step back - step back can't you see i'm developing a crack in my hardware - your code's a farce cause this is a string I Can't Parse" (yo i told ya) Can't Parse This (why you sittin there, man) Can't Parse This (yo, sound the terminal bell, ya got mail, sucka) compile-time bugs disrupt my rhythm it's tellin me trash is what i'm givin him it's garbage, in and out but instead of a nice little a.out i get feedback fed back to me by this here RISC machine no fun what's it gonna take in the 90s to run these programs 4GLs? either learn those or wind up in hell that's longWORD because you know Can't Parse This Can't Parse This top-down! Stop! Compile Time! go with the flow it is said if you can't write in C then you probably are dead so wave K&R in the air waste a few nights, run your fingers thru your hair this is it no dinner - code like this and you'll surely get thinner sitting on your rump watch your machine cause it's gonna do a dump dump dump dump (core dumped) Can't Parse This Can't Parse This (ya better get Turbo cause I can't) I Can't Parse This (ring the bell, your mail's been returned) shutdown! Stop! Link Time! Can't Parse This Can't Parse This Can't Parse This slowdown! Stop! Run Time! every time I program it complains about my code maybe i'm in the wrong book or Emacs is in the wrong mode now i know that i'll never stop doing this cause our 3rd party software keeps on giving us fits i did an RTFM read K&R all day it's "Error!" "Big Error!" "Nasty Error!" "FATAL ERROR!" so instead i'll go and play Can't Parse This Can't Parse This I Can't Parse This (yeah) Can't Parse This (i told ya, wahoos,) Can't Parse This (too many symbols) Can't Parse This (yo, we're outa here) Can't P-- bus error (core dumped) (c) 1991 Radio Free Lerxstwood @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Title : The Computer Nevermore Original : The Raven Group : Edgar Allan Poe Author : ? Intro : Song : Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary, System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor Longing for the warmth of bedsheets, Still I sat there, doing spreadsheets; Having reached the bottom line, I took a floppy from the drawer. Typing with a steady hand, then invoked the SAVE command But I got a reprimand: it read RAbort, Retry, Ignore.S Was this some occult illusion? Some maniacal intrusion? These were choices Solomon himself had never faced before. Carefully, I weighed my options. These three seemed to be the top ones. Clearly I must now adopt one: Choose RAbort, Retry, Ignore.S With my fingers pale and trembling, SLowly toward the keyboard bending, Longing for a happy ending, hoping all would be restored, Praying for some guarantee Finally I pressed a key-- But on the screen what did I see? Again: RAbort, Retry, Ignore.S I tried to catch the chips off-guard-- I pressed again, but twice as hard. Luck was just not in the cards. I saw what I had seen before. Now I typed in desperation Trying random combinations Still there came the incantation: Choose: RAbort, Retry, Ignore.S There I sat, distraught exhausted, by my own machine accosted Getting up I turned away and paced across the office floor. And then I saw an awful sight: A bold and blinding flash of light-- A lightning bolt had cut the night and shook me to my very core. I saw the screen collapse and die ROh no--my data base,S I cried I thought I heard a voice reply, RYouUll see your data Nevermore!S To this day I do not know The place to which lost data goes I bet it goes to heaven where the angels have it stored But as for productivity, well I fear that IT goes straight to hell And thatUs the tale I have to tell Your choice: RAbort, Retry, Ignore.S @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Title : Core dumped blues Original : ? Group : ? Author : ? Intro : (from Fortune file on IBM RISC 6000) Song : Well, my terminal's locked up, and I ain't got no Mail And I can't recall the last time my Program didn't fail; I've got stacks in my structs, I've got array in my queues, I've got the : Segmentation violation -- Core dumped blues. If you think that's nice that you get what you C, Then go : illogical statment with your whole family, 'Cause the Supreme Court ain't the only place with : Bus error views. I've got the : Segmentation violatien -- Core dumped blues. On a PDP-11, life should be a breeze, But with VAXen in the house even magnetic tape would freeze, Now you might think that unlike VAXen I'd know who I abuse, I've got the : Segmentation violation -- Core dumped blues. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Title : CRASH! goes the System Original : POP goes the weasel Group : ? Author : ? Intro : Here's one my father wrote some years ago. It used to hang on the door to the computer room in building 2 at Goddard Space Flight Center (NASA). Song : CRASH! goes the System Two specks of dust on a Winchester disk No use to hope you missed them That's the way computing goes-- CRASH! goes the system. Go exchange the circuit boards Try and use your wisdom No way will you catch that bug-- CRASH! goes the system. Our pride and joy has features galore It takes a day to list them And none of them can be used any more-- CRASH! goes the system. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Title : CRAY-S's coolant Original : Octopusse's Garden Group : Beatles Author : aem@aber.ac.uk (Alec David Muffett) Intro : [fragment] Song : I'd like to be under the sea, in a CRAY1-S's coolant in the shade This freon gas will freeze my ass, in a CRAY1-S's coolant in the shade... @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Title : Cycles For Nothing Original : Money For Nothing Group : Dire Straits Author : Matt Crawford Intro : Song : Cycles For Nothing (i want my i want my i want my X-MP!) Now look at them yo-yo's that's the way you do it You run the fortran on the X-MP That ain't hackin' that's the way you do it Cycles for nothin', gigabits for free Now that ain't hackin' that's the way you do it Lemme tell ya them guys ain't dumb Maybe Monte Carlo on a three-quark system Maybe design a little neutron bomb We gotta install microwave uplinks Custom fuzzballs for everyone We gotta link up DDS circuits BERT and loopback tests to run See the kid professor with the blue jeans and the necktie Yeah buddy that's his own hair That kid professor got his Nobel prize now That kid professor he's a millionaire We gotta install microwave uplinks Custom fuzzballs for everyone We gotta link up DDS circuits BERT and loopback tests to run I shoulda stuck to writing in fortran I shoulda kept that old 029 Look at that output, he got it stacked up to the ceilin' I bet he ain't read one line And in there, what's that? A hundred postdocs? Bangin' on the keyboards like some chimpanzees That ain't hackin' that's the way you do it Cycles for nothin', gigabits for free We gotta install microwave uplinks Custom fuzzballs for everyone We gotta link up DDS circuits BERT and loopback tests to run by Matt Crawford @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Title : The Day Bell System Died Original : American Pie Group : Don Mclean Author : Lauren Weinstein Intro : Greetings. With the massive changes now taking place in the telecommunications industry, we're all being inundated with seemingly endless news items and points of information regarding the various effects now beginning to take place. However, one important element has been missing: a song! Since the great Tom Lehrer has retired from the composing world, I will now attempt to fill this void with my own light-hearted, non-serious look at a possible future of telecommunications. This work is entirely satirical, and none of its lyrics are meant to be interpreted in a non-satirical manner. The song should be sung to the tune of Don Mclean's classic "American Pie". I call my version "The Day Bell System Died"... Song : *==================================* * Notice: This is a satirical work * *==================================* "The Day Bell System Died" Lyrics Copyright (C) 1983 by Lauren Weinstein (To the tune of "American Pie") (With apologies to Don McLean) ARPA: vortex!lauren@LBL-CSAM UUCP: {decvax, ihnp4, harpo, ucbvax!lbl-csam, randvax}!vortex!lauren Long, long, time ago, I can still remember, When the local calls were "free". And I knew if I paid my bill, And never wished them any ill, That the phone company would let me be... But Uncle Sam said he knew better, Split 'em up, for all and ever! We'll foster competition: It's good capital-ism! I can't remember if I cried, When my phone bill first tripled in size. But something touched me deep inside, The day... Bell System... died. And we were singing... Bye, bye, Ma Bell, why did you die? We get static from Sprint and echo from MCI, "Our local calls have us in hock!" we all cry. Oh Ma Bell why did you have to die? Ma Bell why did you have to die? Is your office Step by Step, Or have you gotten some Crossbar yet? Everybody used to ask... Oh, is TSPS coming soon? IDDD will be a boon! And, I hope to get a Touch-Tone phone, real soon... The color phones are really neat, And direct dialing can't be beat! My area code is "low": The prestige way to go! Oh, they just raised phone booths to a dime! Well, I suppose it's about time. I remember how the payphones chimed, The day... Bell System... died. And we were singing... Bye, bye, Ma Bell, why did you die? We get static from Sprint and echo from MCI, "Our local calls have us in hock!" we all cry. Oh Ma Bell why did you have to die? Ma Bell why did you have to die? Back then we were all at one rate, Phone installs didn't cause debate, About who'd put which wire where... Installers came right out to you, No "phone stores" with their ballyhoo, And 411 was free, seemed very fair! But FCC wanted it seems, To let others skim long-distance creams, No matter 'bout the locals, They're mostly all just yokels! And so one day it came to pass, That the great Bell System did collapse, In rubble now, we all do mass, The day... Bell System... died. So bye, bye, Ma Bell, why did you die? We get static from Sprint and echo from MCI, "Our local calls have us in hock!" we all cry. Oh Ma Bell why did you have to die? Ma Bell why did you have to die? I drove on out to Murray Hill, To see Bell Labs, some time to kill, But the sign there said the Labs were gone. I went back to my old CO, Where I'd had my phone lines, years ago, But it was empty, dark, and ever so forlorn... No relays pulsed, No data crooned, No MF tones did play their tunes, There wasn't a word spoken, All carrier paths were broken... And so that's how it all occurred, Microwave horns just nests for birds, Everything became so absurd, The day... Bell System... died. So bye, bye, Ma Bell, why did you die? We get static from Sprint and echo from MCI, "Our local calls have us in hock!" we all cry. Oh Ma Bell why did you have to die? Ma Bell why did you have to die? We were singing: Bye, bye, Ma Bell, why did you die? We get static from Sprint and echo from MCI, "Our local calls have us in hock!" we all cry. Oh Ma Bell why did you have to die? @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Title : The DEC Man cometh Original : The Gas Man cometh Group : Michael Flounders and Donald Swan Author : Russell Street (russells@ccu1.aukuni.ac.nz) Info : Ever have one of those days... Song : Twas on the Monday morning the DEC man came to call The VAX wouldn't boot -- we weren't getting VAX at all He tore out all the cables winding around the VAX And we had to call the hardware guys in to put them back again. Oh it all makes work for the working man to do Twas on the Tuesday morning their technician came 'round He soldered and he tested and said "Look what I've found" "Your ROMs are all the old versions, but I'll put them all to right" Then he shorted out a cable, and out down all the Suns Was on a Wednesay morning the Sun technican came He called me Mr Sanderson which isn't quite me name He couldn't fix the server without our CD drive And as root on the SG he typed 'unlink /', so we called SGI in Was on the Thursday morning the SGI rep came along With his mini-root tapes and his manuals and his merry SGI song He reinstalled the system -- it took no time at all But we had to get the Next people in to come and fix the NFS Was on a Friday morning the Next man made a start With mounts and exports he crossmounted every disk Every machine and every directory, but I found when he was gone He changed some IP addresses, and our VAX had gone! On Saturday and Sunday they do no work at all So was on the Monday morning that the VAX man came to call... @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Title : DECman Original : Gasman Group : Flanders and Swann Author : Tony Duell Intro : This is dedicated to all those who called out DEC field service >>> END PART 2 <<< -- ,-----,------,--,--, Stefan Haenssgen, Comp Sci, Uni Karlsruhe, Germany / / / / / Email: haenssgen@ira.uka.de or uk0w@dkauni2.bitnet / ---/-, ,-/ / / IRC: sth Phone: +49/721/593910 Fax: hoo nose / / / / / / Snail: Nuitsstr. 2c, W-7500 Karlsruhe 21, Germany /--- / / / / / / / / / / / / / "Use the SOURCE, Luke!" (Return of the RedEye Nights) '-----' '--' '--'--' "I feel a great disturbance in the SOURCE"