From: IN%"minow@bolt.enet.dec.com" "Martin Minow, ML3-5/U26 14-May-1990 0946" 14-MAY-1990 10:29:06.62 To: _TERRY CC: Subj: neat_stuff.txt Received: from CUNYVM.BITNET by SPCVXA.BITNET; Mon, 14 May 90 10:28 EDT Received: from CUNYVM by CUNYVM.BITNET (Mailer R2.03B) with BSMTP id 0452; Mon, 14 May 90 10:24:52 EDT Received: from decpa.pa.dec.com by CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU (IBM VM SMTP R1.2.2MX) with TCP; Mon, 14 May 90 10:24:50 EDT Received: by decpa.pa.dec.com; id AA03394; Mon, 14 May 90 07:25:22 -0700 Received: from bolt.enet; by decpa.enet; Mon, 14 May 90 07:25:24 PDT Date: Mon, 14 May 90 07:25:24 PDT From: "Martin Minow, ML3-5/U26 14-May-1990 0946" Subject: neat_stuff.txt To: address@bolt.enet.dec.com Message-id: <9005141425.AA03394@decpa.pa.dec.com> X-Envelope-to: terry From: LESLIE::LESLIE "andy u?u leslie, csse/vms 13-Jul-1989 0946" 13-JUL-1989 04:55:41.89 To: @DIST$DIR:HUMOUR CC: Subj: The third 637 best things anybody ever said ............distribution deleted....................... THE THIRD 637 BEST THINGS ANYBODY EVER SAID by Robert Byrne, extracted from a DESPERADO The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless. -- Chamfort Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge. -- Gauguin Housework can kill you if done right. -- Erma Bombeck A man always remembers his first love with special tenderness, but after that begins to bunch them. -- Mencken Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn. -- Garrison Keillor The happiest time in any man's life is just after the first divorce. -- Galbraith Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. -- Erma Bombeck The volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases. -- Jerry Brown Business is a good game -- lots of competition and minimum of rules. You keep score with money. -- Nolan Bushnell, founder of Atari The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting. -- Fran Liebowitz In Mexico we have a word for sushi: bait. -- Josi Simon The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later you're hungry again. -- George Miller Marriage is not merely sharing the fettucine, but sharing the burden of finding the fettucine restaurant in the first place. -- Calvin Trillin The trouble with heart disease is that the first symptom is often hard to deal with: death. -- Michael Phelps, MD A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. -- Carrie Snow When I was young we didn't have MTV; we had to take drugs and go to concerts. -- Steven Pearl I believe that professional wrestling is clean and everything else in the world is fixed. -- Frank Deford, sports writer One of the first things schoolchildren in Texas learn is how to compose a simple declarative sentence without the word "shit" in it. -- anonymous There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result.--Churchill A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say. -- Michael Winner, British film director It's our fault. We should have given him better parts. -- Jack Warner, on hearing that Reagan had been elected governor of California. [Warner is also reported to have said when told of Reagan's candidacy for governor, "No, Jimmy Stewart for Governor; Reagan for best friend."] There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are. -- Maugham I felt like poisoning a monk. -- Umberto Eco, on why he wrote The Name of the Rose All newspaper editorial writers ever do is come down from the hills after the battle is over and shoot the wounded. -- anonymous I can mend the break of day, heal a broken heart, and provide temporary relief to nymphomaniacs. -- Larry Lee I can't believe that out of 100,000 sperm, you were the quickest. -- Steven Pearl Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups -- alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. -- Alex Levine [*> 42 The answer to life, the universe, and everything <*]