X-NEWS: spcvxb rec.humor.funny: 2689 Relay-Version: VMS News - V6.1B4+SPC1 6/9/92 VAX/VMS V5.5-2; site spcvxb.spc.edu Path: spcvxb!rutgers!bagate!dsinc!spool.mu.edu!wupost!emory!ogicse!usenet.ee.pdx.edu!fastrac.llnl.gov!lll-winken.llnl.gov!looking!funny-request Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny Subject: Lauren Bacall to White Courtesy Phone Message-ID: From: LOSTART on GEnie) (Chris B) Date: 9 Mar 93 09:30:02 GMT Keywords: chuckle, true Approved: funny@clarinet.com Lines: 79 Was cleaning out my briefcase and came across this beaut I picked up off the ground a year (or so) ago when my desk was directly next to American Airlines baggage service office. I agologize in advance for the formatting (speaking to the "grammatically correct" }B) but when it was edited with lower-case, correct spelling and such it seemed to lose some of the comic impact these poor agents were enduring as this unfolded... AA FACTS OSI PLEASE ID POSSIBLE PRANK OSI DANIELS ORVILLE JR WILL BE DRESS AS LAUREN BACALL. ATTN OSI TICKET AGENT OR GATE AGENT PLEASE CHECK ID REMARKS TBMEDIT/PNR UPDATED FOR 1402.00/0056/22MAY MR ORVILLE DANIELS JR CALLED TO CONFIRM ITN AND STATED HE WOULD BE DRESSED AS LAUREN BACALL AND WANTED TO TRVLG AS HER....HE WOULD BE DRESSINF UP AS HER....HAVD MR ORV LLE THAT IF WERE TO PURCHASE A TKT UNDER THE NAME OF LAUR EN BECALL ONLY A PAX WITH THAT NAME WILL BE ABLE TO TRVL. HE WOULD NN TO SHOW ID AND IF THE ID DID NOT MATCH HE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO TRVL......GOOD LUCK TO THE NEXT AGEN T WHO GETS THIS 5/19FO MR ORVILLE CALLLED ON 20 MAY AND STATED HE WOULD BE WEARING A GOLD GOWN ON THE FLIGHT SO HE WOULD NOT BE DRESSED LIKE ANYONE ELSE TRAVELLING ON THE FLT ......GOOD LUCK TO THE NEXT AGENT WHO GETS THIS 5/20 XTL GOLD HIGH HEALS GOLD PANTI GOLD GOWN GOLD EAR RINGS GOLD GLOVES OVER THE ELBOW GLOD NECKLES LONG BLOND WIG MINK STLOE RED RUGH LIP STICK GOLD HAND BAG BRA GOLD WOULD LIKE TO REFERED TO AS MISS BACALL CALLED TO WARN THE AGENT THAT HE HAS A MALE VOICE -TBMCK TOLD THE PAX THAT IF HE WANTED TO DRESS AS LAUREN BACALL THAT WOULD BE FINE--I TOLD HIM THAT WE MUST USE HIS OWN NA ME FOR INSURANCE REASON AND THAT WE NEED TO PUT THAT ON T HE TICKETS-- HAVE FUN WITH THE NEXT AGENT THAT GETS THIS SATRO G PORTER PAX MR DANIEL CALLED AGAIN SYS THT HE NN TO HAVE TKT ISSUE UNDER MS BACALLES NAME BUT THT CAN NOT BE DONE ***PER CSD HADV PAX THT IT IS TRUE AND WE CAN NOT ISSUE TKT UNDER MS BACALLES NAME*THAN PAX ASK WITH CONCERN IF HE WLD BE TREATE D AS A MAN OR WOMAN IF HE IS DRESSED AS A WOMAN HADV THT FLIGHT ATTEND WOULD TREAT HIM LIKE ANY OTHER PAX OF EITHR SEX THE SAME WAY AND GET SERVICED SAME FOOD DRINKS AND ANY THING ELSE PAX SD OK AND HUNG UP*****..........IF CALL AGAIN REFER TO CSD AND TO OTHER RECORD UNDER MS BACALL DONT GIVE INFO ON MS BACALLS RECORD OR SAY SHE IS ON THER PAX CALLED ONCE AGAIN TO ADV THAT HE/LL BE MAKING A GRAND ENTRANCE AT THE ATO COMPLETE WITH BODYGUARKS...HE WANTED TO ALSO CHK ON ITIN IF HIS COMP UPGRADE TO LON WAS INCLUDED IN THIS RES...ASKED HIM HOW HE GOT THE COMP UPGRADE AND HE SAID THAT THE LAST AGT HAD PROMISED A FREE UPGRADE IF HE TRAVELED BEFORE 15JUN...HAVD PAX OF INFO IN /FLYINTL/ REGARDING F/C/Y TRAVEL BEFORE 15JUN AND RECVG FREE TKT GOOD FOR TVL THIS FALL AND THAT HE/D NN TO BE AN AADV MEMBER ALSO...HE ADV THAT HE IS A PREMIUM AADV TRAVELER ON AMERICA WEST /HE MUST BE LOST/ ...ANYWAY, CALLED CSD REGARDING PAX AND THEY SAID TO ASK FOR HIS HOME FON NUMBER SINCE FON LISTED IN THIS REC IS INCORRECT...WENT BACK TO PAX AND ASKED FOR FON CTC AND HE ADV THAT HE ALREADY GAVE US THE NUMBER AND THAT HIS MAKEUP WAS RUNNING....HE HUNG UP AND THAT WAS THAT HE/S GOING INTL NOW, ICSD BEWARE..........21MAY TBM PAYMENT DUE 01JUN TBM AUTO CANCEL 16JUN XXTAI21MAY/04JUN X PAX CLD AGAIN ON 5/24 /LUCKY ME/ CLD CSD AND THEY JUST TOLD ME TO TELL HEM THAT EVERYTHING WAS IN ORDER AND THAT WE WOULD SEE HIM AT THE GATE RECEIVED FROM - MR BACALL I wonder if this ever continued... B) -- Selected by Maddi Hausmann. MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com. Please! No copyrighted stuff. Also no "mouse balls," dyslexic agnostics, Iraqi driver's ed, Administratium, strings in bar or bell-ringer jokes.