From news.spc.edu!news.new-york.net!logbridge.uoregon.edu!newsfeed.direct.ca!news.netfunny.com!funny-request Sat Oct 9 01:38:11 1999 Xref: news.spc.edu rec.humor.funny:8276 Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny From: Kirk.Ellett@MW.Boeing.com (Ellett, Kirk D) Subject: Does Home Depot sell formaldehyde? Keywords: smirk Approved: funny-request@netfunny.com Path: news.spc.edu!news.new-york.net!logbridge.uoregon.edu!newsfeed.direct.ca!news.netfunny.com!funny-request Followup-To: rec.humor.d Message-id: Date: Fri, 8 Oct 1999 19:30:00 PDT A true story... My wife and I recently had our first house built. Since we moved in I have been very busy with "do-it-yourself" projects such as adding water filters, building shelves, installing garage door openers, and even some pretty involved projects like building retaining walls and installing a lawn sprinkler system. My wife has been complaining that I've become quite obsessed with doing everything myself without professional help, to which I've always countered that I can do these projects cheaper and with more care than the average professional. Last night I had a dream that my great aunt, who is currently in poor health, passed away. In my dream I convinced my cousin that I could perform the embalming of her mother at home "cheaper and with greater care" than the mortuary. First thing this morning I called my landscaping company and said they could go ahead and lay my sod for me instead of just delivering it. -- Selected by Jim Griffith. MAIL your joke to funny@netfunny.com. The "executive moderator" is Brad Templeton. Please! No copyrighted stuff. Also no "mouse balls," dyslexic agnostics, Clinton/Yeltsin/Gates meets God, or "OJ will walk" jokes. For the full submission guidelines, see http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/ This joke's link: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/99/Oct/doitself.html