Received: From BROWNVM(MAILER) by MRVAX with RSCS id 1792 for JMS@MRVAX; Mon, 9 May 88 13:52 MST Received: by BROWNVM (Mailer X1.25) id 1785; Mon, 09 May 88 16:09:54 EDT Date: Mon, 9 May 88 16:09:05 EDT Reply-To: Mmytacist Mmanufacture Sender: Mmytacist Mmanufacture From: The Bipartisan Party Subject: Star Wreck To: Joel M Snyder From: Frank LaRosa HEMMINGWAY TAKES A CRACK AT STAR TREK I was the captain. I was heading for the bridge. The captain belonged on the bridge. He was the captain. I walked onto the bridge. Uhura was the communications officer. She was sitting at the communications console. Dammit, Uhura was ugly. Probably everyone on the bridge thought so. Checkov thought so. If only these damn script writers would put it in the damn script. Then maybe one of us could say it. Damn. I turned to Uhura. "Put Kahn on the screen", I said. "Kahn?" "Yes, Kahn." "On the screen?" "Yes, the screen." "You want me to put Kahn on the screen?" Dammit, Uhura was stupid too. Just then Kahn came on the screen. I said, "God dammit Kahn, what do you want?" "I want all the information on the Genesis project." "The information?" "Yes." "On the Genesis project?" "Yes." "All of it?" "Yes." It seemed as though Kahn wanted all the information on the Genesis project. Dammit, Kahn was ugly. But I knew this Kahn. He was out to destroy me. I couldn't give him the information. I had to destroy him. If I gave him the information then he would destroy me and I knew I had to destroy him. I told Checkov to load the torpedo tubes. The torpedo tubes held the photon torpedos. The photon torpedos would destroy Kahn. Checkov loaded the torpedo tubes. Kahn was on the screen again. "I want all the information on the Genesis project". I told Checkov to fire the photon torpedoes. "Here it comes," I said.