From news.spc.edu!news.new-york.net!news.globix.net!news-out.cwix.com!newsfeed.cwix.com!newsfeed.direct.ca!news.netfunny.com!funny-request Thu Sep 30 12:25:43 1999 Xref: news.spc.edu rec.humor.funny:8264 Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny From: mascardo@admin.assurenet.com (Erwin Mascardo) Subject: Where do you want to be (mis)directed today? Keywords: original, smirk Approved: funny-request@netfunny.com Path: news.spc.edu!news.new-york.net!news.globix.net!news-out.cwix.com!newsfeed.cwix.com!newsfeed.direct.ca!news.netfunny.com!funny-request Followup-To: rec.humor.d Message-id: Date: Wed, 29 Sep 1999 19:30:00 PDT My wife recently went on a business trip, and in filling out her expense report, she noted that she could claim the mileage to and from the airport. My first attempt at using MapQuest to calculate the distance failed, so I tried Microsoft Expedia Maps. After the shock wore off, my only regret was that my wife couldn't really claim this mileage figure, as we had no way to prove that we'd spent 9 days driving to Newfoundland and back. Highlights from the Microsoft-generated directions follow: Summary ------- From: Laurel, Maryland To: Baltimore-Washington International Airport, Maryland Driving Distance: 5865.1 miles Time: 9 day(s) 3 hour(s) 22 minute(s) Driving Directions ------------------ Time Instruction 0:00 Depart Laurel, Maryland 1:01 Entering Delaware 1:17 Entering New Jersey 3:24 Entering New York 3:51 Entering Connecticut 5:51 Entering Massachusetts 7:29 Entering New Hampshire 7:44 Entering Maine 12:20 Entering New Brunswick 20:20 Take the North Sydney-Argentia Ferry 34:32 Entering Newfoundland 36:35 Turn left onto Local road(s) (4543.1 mi) 219:22 Arrive Baltimore-Washington International Airport, Maryland I guess when Microsoft asks "Where do you want to go today?" that *how* you get there isn't always important... (A subsequent attempt at MapQuest gave the correct figure of 16.5 miles.) -- Selected by Jim Griffith. MAIL your joke to funny@netfunny.com. Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. Remember: Only ONE joke per submission. Extra jokes may be rejected. For the full submission guidelines, see http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/ This joke's link: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/99/Sep/expedia.html