The Geek Code Robert A. Hayden: GSS d- p--/-p+ c++ l++ m+/* s-/++ g+ w++ t++ r++ x+ ------------------- The Code of the Geeks v0.3 -------------------------- ---------------------- May 10, 1993 ------------------------------ So you think you are a geek, eh? The first step is to admit to yourself your geekiness. No matter what anyone says, geeks are people too; geeks have rights. So take a deep breath and announce to the world that you are a geek. Your courage will give you strength that will last you forever. How to tell the world you are a geek, you ask? Use the universal Geek code. By joining the geek organization, you have license to use this special code that will allow you to let other un-closeted geeks know who you are in a simple, codified statement. --------------------- Type: Geeks come in many flavors. The flavors relate to the vocation of the particular geek. To start a code, a geek must declare himself or herself to be a geek. To do this, we start the code with a "G" to denote "GEEK", followed by one or two letters to denote the geeks occupation. Multi-talented geeks with more than one vocation should denote their myriad of talents with a slash between each vocation (example: GCS/MU/T). GCS -- Geek of Computer Science GE -- Geek of Engineering GM -- Geek of Math GMU -- Geek of Music GB -- Geek of Business GS -- Geek of Science (Physics, Chemistry, Biology, etc.) GSS -- Geek of Social Science (Psychology, Sociology, etc.) GT -- Geek of Theatre GO -- Geek of Other. Some types of geeks deviate from the normal geek activities. This is encouraged as true geeks come from all walks of life. GU -- Geek of 'Undecided'. This is a popular vocation with new freshmen. ---------------------- Dress: Geeks come in many different types of dress. d I dress a lot like those in Walmart ads d+ I tend to wear trendy political messages like "Save the Whales" or "Free South Africa". d++ I tend to wear conservative dress such as a business suit. d- I tend to wear trendy political messages like "Nuke the Humans", "Question Authority", or "Big Brother's Watching". d-- I wear jeans to work just to piss off my boss d--- At work, I have holes in my jeans and/or obscenities on my shirt. d* I have no idea what I am wearing right now, let alone what I wore yesterday. !d No clothing. Quite a fashion statement, don't you think? --------------------- Politics: Just as the Geek's sense of fashion is varied, so is his/her political convictions. p Politics? I've heard of that somewhere but in all honesty I really don't give a shit. p+ Let's get the government off of big-business's back p++ All in favor of eliminating free speech, say aye! p+++ Fuckin' Minorities! Adolf Hitler is my hero! p- Bring back the 60's p-- I'm still living in the 60's p--- No taxes through no government -p+ Don't label me you moron! Both sides are equally fucked up! --------------------- Computers: Most geeks identify themselves by their use of computers and computer networks. In order to quantify your geekiness level on computers, consult the following (consider the term 'computers' synonymous with 'computer network'): c Computers are a tool, nothing more. I use it when it serves my purpose. c+ Computers are fun and I enjoy using them. I play a mean game of Wing Commander and can use a word processor without resorting to the manual too often. I know that a 3.5" disk is not a hard disk. I also know that when it says 'press any key to continue', I don't have to look for a key labeled 'ANY'. c++ Computers are a large part of my existence. When I get up in the morning, the first thing I do is log myself in. I mud on weekends, but still manage to stay off of academic probation. c+++ You mean there is life outside of Internet? You're shittin' me! I live for muds. I haven't dragged myself to class in weeks. c- Anything more complicated than my calculator and I'm screwed. c-- Where's the on switch? c--- If you even mention computers, I will rip your head off! ------------------- Linux: Linux is a hacker-written operating system virtually identical to unix. It runs on your standard 386/486 PC computers and offers multitasking support far superior to DOS. Because it is still a young OS, and because it is continually evolving from hacker changes and support, it is important that the geek list his Linux ability. l I know what Linux is, but that's about all l+ I've managed to get Linux installed and even used it a few times. It seems like it is just another OS. l++ I use Linux almost exclusively on my system. I monitor comp.os.linux and even answer questions some times. I've aliased Linux FTP sites to make getting new software easier. l+++ I am a Linux wizard. I munch C code for breakfast and have enough room left over for a kernel debugging. I have so many patches installed that I lost track about ten versions ago. Linux newbies consider me a net.god. l- I have no desire to use Linux and frankly don't give a rats ass about it. l-- Unix sucks. Because Linux = Unix. Linux Sucks. I worship Bill Gates. ------------------- Music: Musical interests vary widely, also. m I occasionally listen to the radio m+ I own a tape or CD collection (records also count, but you would be admitting how old you are). m++ I consider myself refined and enjoy classical and new-age selections m+++ I consider myself over-refined and grok that heavy-duty elevator music. m- Just play it loud m-- I play air-guitar better than anyone else. m--- LISTEN! I SAID TO PLAY IT LOUD! m* I am an expert on so many types of music that I can't even keep them straight ------------------- Shape: Geeks come in many shapes and sizes. Shape code is divided into two parts. The first indicates height, while the second indicates roundness. Mix each section to fit yourself. Examples include: s/++, s++/, s++/--. s I'm an average geek s+/+ I'm a little taller/rounder than most. s++/++ I'm a basketball/linebacker candidate. s+++/+++I usually have to duck through doors/I take up three movie seats. s-/- I look up to most people. Everyone tells me to gain a few pounds. s--/-- I look up to damn near everybody. I tend to have to fight against a strong breeze. s---/---I take a phone book with me when I go out so I can see to eat dinner. My bones are poking through my skin. -------------------- Glasses: Geeks have traditionally worn glasses. !g I have no glasses g+ I've got four eyes, what's your point? g++ I've got four eyes and tape in the middle g+++ I have coke-bottle classes that I can use to start leaves on fire in the hot sun. g- I have contacts g-- I have colored contacts -------------------- Weirdness: Geeks have a seemingly natural knack for being "weird". Of course, this is a subjective term as one person's weirdness is another person's normalness. As a general rule, the following weird qualifiers allow a geek to rate their weirdness. w I am not weird. I'm perfectly normal. w+ so? what's your problem with weird. w++ I am so weird, I make Al Yankovic look sane. w+++ Mainstream? I heard of that once, I think. w- I'm more normal that most people normally are. w-- Isn't everyone in the p+ group? -------------------- Star Trek: Most geeks have an undeniable love for the Star Trek television (in any of its three forms). Because GEEK is often synonymous with TREKKIE, it is important that all geeks list their Trek rating. t It's just another TV show t+ It's a damn fine TV show and is one of the only things good on television any more. t++ It's not just a TV show, it's a religion. I know all about warp field dynamics and the principles behind the transporter. I have memorized the TECH manual. I speak Klingon. I go to cons with Vulcan ears on. I have no life. t- Maybe it is just me, but I have no idea what the big deal with Star Trek is. Perhaps I'm missing something but I just think it is bad drama. t-- Star Trek SUCKS! It is the worst crap I have ever seen! Hey, all you trekkies out there, GET A LIFE! (William Shatner is a t--) -------------------- Role Playing: Role-playing games such as Dungeons & Dragons have long been a part of the traditional geek life. Because geeks often become so involved in their role-playing that they lose touch with reality, include one of the following role-playing codes. r Role-Playing? That's just something to do to kill a Saturday afternoon r+ I've got my weekly sessions set up and a character that I know better than I know myself. r++ There is no life outside the role of the die. I know all of piddly rules of (chosen game). _MY_ own warped rules scare the rest of the players. r+++ I worship E. Gary Gygax. r- Gosh, what an utter waste of time! r-- Role-Players worship SATAN! -------------------- Sex: (optional) Geeks have traditionally had problems with sex (ie, they never have any). Because geeks are so wrapped up in their sexuality (or lack of sexuality for that matter), it is important that the geek be willing to quantify their sexual experiences. ** This code is optional due to the fact that some people might consider it uncomfortable. !x Sex? What's that? I've had no sexual experiences. x+ I've had real, live sex. I sometime exchange dirty emails with other people. x++ I was once referred to as 'easy'. I have no idea where that might have come from though. x- I prefer cybersex to real sex. I sometimes exchange dirty looks with other people. x-- I was once referred to as a 'cyberslut', but I have no idea where that might have come from. * * * * * * * * * The Geek Code is copyright 1993 by Robert A. Hayden. All rights reserved. You are free to distribute this code in electronic format provided that the contents are unchanged and this copyright notice remains attached.