X-NEWS: spcvxb.spc.edu rec.humor.funny: 5171 Xref: spcuna rec.humor.funny:5171 Path: spcuna!uunet!panix!news.intercon.com!howland.reston.ans.net!cs.utexas.edu!utnut!torn!uunet.ca!uunet.ca!xenitec!looking!funny-request Message-ID: Date: Fri, 15 Apr 94 19:30:06 EDT Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny Organization: The Johns Hopkins University CS Department From: jelson@condor.cs.jhu.edu (Jeremy Elson) Subject: FOOTOS -- A Guide to Modern Operating Systems Keywords: chuckle, computers, original Approved: funny@clarinet.com Lines: 55 This was inspired by the recent file making its rounds on the Net describing how to shoot yourself in the foot in a variety of programming languages. Now, the madness is extended to operating systems. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Unix: You shoot yourself in the foot. DOS: You keep running up against the one-bullet barrier. MS-Windows: The gun blows up in your hand. Windows NT: The gun is so huge and unwieldy that you have to keep swapping it from one hand to the other. OS/2: The gun and the bullet aren't speaking to each other any more. Mac Finder: It's easy to shoot yourself in the foot -- just point and shoot. AIX: You can shoot yourself in the foot with either a .38 or a .45. IRIX: The Terminator shoots you in the foot. A T-Rex bites your other foot. SVR4: The gun isn't compatible with your foot. Minix: You learn how to shoot yourself in the foot with a Saturday Night Special. Linux: Generous programmers from around the world all join forces to help you shoot yourself in the foot for free. HURD: You'll be able to shoot yourself in the foot Real Soon Now. VM/CMS: IBM shoots you in the foot. VMS: \FOOT\ ambiguous: supply more toes. AMIGA-DOS: The gun works pretty well, except that few people use one and it's impossible to find bullets. Mach: The bullets work pretty well, but they don't make guns for it any more. Cray: You shoot yourself in the foot with an Uzi. MasPar: You shoot all of your friends' feet simultaneously. -- Selected by Maddi Hausmann Sojourner. MAIL your joke to funny@clarinet.com. Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. Jokes ABOUT major current events should be sent to topical@clarinet.com (ie. jokes which won't be funny if not given immediate attention.) Anything that is not a joke submission goes to funny-request@clarinet.com