.title Vaudeville Doctors
.fg 20
.c;^&Vaudeville Doctors\&
.s
.c;Bill Bernat
.nmpg 1
.page
.;
.lm 8.p -8.at
.p0
A man is sitting in an examination room. The nurse is doing nursely things as 
 the lights come up.
.p-8
Narrator: And now, this week's episode of "Vaudeville Doctors."
Nurse: Wait right here, the Doctor will be in in a minute. (exit and Doctors
 enter)
D1: What's the matter with you, you look a little under the weather. (squeezes 
 sponge over man's face.)
Man: I thought there was supposed to be only one doctor.
D2: One Doctor? Boy did we mess up. There's two of us ! (paradox) (they
 slap each other) 
D1: (As the Docs run around.) Hey Doctor, who was that lady I saw you
 with last night?
D2: That was no lady, that was a registered nurse.
D1: Boy, this guy looks like he's about to kick off.
D2: You can say that again!
D1: Boy, this guy looks like he's about to kick off. (To patient). Tell
 me, does it hurt bad?
Ma: No, I don't hurt at all.
D1: (Twists Man's arm) Now does it hurt?
Ma: No.
D1: (obviously putting the man in pain) Now does it hurt?
Ma: Yes.
D1: Well we'd better examine you then; you could be sick. (Puts head to man's 
 ear)
Ma: But Doctor, my heart's fine. I've got cancer. 
D2: Cancer? Why that's terrible. (Takes man's hand) Tell me, how long do
 you have?
Ma: (After D1 hits him in the face with a pie) This is an outrage. You
 two are a couple of quacks!
D2: Quack?
D1: Quack? (They do a bit of quacking)
Ma: I'm dying of cancer. I've got a wife and six kids who are going to be
 without a father. I couldn't afford to keep my life insurance policy,
 so I used up my last savings to get a Doctor's appointment, and you
 two come in here and make a mockery of my life. One joke after another. 
 You must spend more money on gags than you do on medical equipment. It's
 disgusting. You two aren't fit to wear those labcoats! (He storms out)
D2: (After an extremely long silence) It's a good thing we didn't
 bring out the dancing bear.
Lights out.