X-NEWS: spcvxb alt.sex: 80130 Relay-Version: VMS News - V6.1B4+SPC1 6/9/92 VAX/VMS V5.5-2; site spcvxb.spc.edu Path: spcvxb!rutgers!noao!asuvax!cs.utexas.edu!uwm.edu!spool.mu.edu!agate!usenet.ins.cwru.edu!cleveland.Freenet.Edu!bx461 Newsgroups: alt.sex Subject: [How Do You "Do It"?], Part 6 of 6 Message-ID: <1i3mlsINN4c5@usenet.INS.CWRU.Edu> From: bx461@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Leo J. Mauler) Date: 2 Jan 93 09:18:52 GMT Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, Ohio (USA) NNTP-Posting-Host: hela.ins.cwru.edu Lines: 234 SAIL hackers have high service levels! Sailors do it ad nauseam! Sailors do it after cruising the seven seas! Sailors get blown off shore! Sailors like to be blown! Salespeople have a way with their tongues! Sceptics doubt about it! Schematologists do it haltingly! Scientists discovered it! Scientists do it experimentally! Scientists do it with plenty of research! Scotsmen do it with Amazing Grace! Scriptwriters do it in several acts! Scuba divers do it with tanks! Second fiddles do it vilely! Secretaries do it from 9 to 5! Secretaries do it with no mistakes! Seismologists make the earth move! Semanticists do it with meaning! Senators do it on the floor! Sergeants do it privately! Set theorists do it with cardinals! Shakespeare scholars do it or don't do it, that is the question! Sheep do it when led astray! Shubert didn't finish it! Simulation hackers do it with models! Singers do it with microphones! Six-hundred pound gorillas do it anywhere they want! Skaters do it on ice! Skeletons do it with a bone! Skeet Shooters do it 25 times in 9 different positions Skiers do it spread eagled! Skiers do it with poles! Skiers go down fast! Skunks do it instinctively! Sky divers NEVER do it without a chute! Sky divers do it in the air! Skydivers are good till the last drop! Skydivers do it at great heights! Skydivers go down faster! Skydivers go in harder! Slaves do it for the maters! Small boat sailors do it by pumping, rocking, and ooching! Smalltalk programmers have more methods! Smith-Barney employees do it "the old-fashioned way"! Snakes do it in the grass! Soap manufacturers do it with Zest! Soccer players do it for kicks! Soccer players do it in 90 minutes! Soccer players have leather balls! Soccer players do it for kicks! Sociologists do it with class! Sociologists do it with standard deviations! Sociologists do it in groups! Software Testers do it over and over again! Software designers do it with system! Software designers do it over and over until they get it right! Software reliablity specialists keep it up longer! Soldiers do it standing erect! Soldiers do it with a machine gun! Sopranos do it in unison! Soviet hardline leaders do it with tanks! Sparrows do it for a lark (hearsay)! Speakers do it with pointers! Spectroscopists do it until it hertz! Spectroscopists do it with frequency and intensity! Speech pathologists are oral specialists! Spellcasters do it with their rods/staves/wands! Spelunkers do it underground! Spies do it under cover! Sportscasters like an instant replay! Sprinters do it after years of conditioning! Sprinters do it in less than 10 seconds! St! Matthew did it passionately! Stagehands do it on cue! Statisticians do it continuously but discretely! Statisticians do it when it counts! Statisticians do it with 95% confidence! Statisticians do it with large numbers! Statisticians do it with only a 5% chance of being rejected! Statisticians do it with two-tail T tests! Statisticians do it! After all, it's only normal! Statisticians probably do it! Statisticians do it with random deviates! Statisticians do it 87!5% of the time! Statisticians do it with a little deviance! Steel workers do it hotter! Stewardesses do it in the air! Stock brokers do it on the margin! Stragglers do it in the rear! Structured programmers DO it OD! Students do it as exercises! Students use their heads! Submariners use their torpedoes! Supercomputer users do it in parallel! Superman does it faster than a speeding bullet! Surfers do it in waves! Surfers do it standing up! Surgeons are smooth operators! Surgeons do it incisively! Swashbucklers do it with three feet of steel! Swimmers do it in the water! Swimmers do it with a breast stroke! Swimmers do it with better strokes! Swinging hackers Move Swapped! SysOps do it with their computers! System hackers are always ready! System hackers get it up quicker! System hackers keep it up longer! System hackers know where to poke! System hackers swap on demand! Systems go down on their hackers! Systems have black boxes! Systems programmers keep it up longer! ---------------------------------------------------------------- [T] TV repairmen do it with a vertical hold! Tailors come with no strings attached! Tailors make it fit! Tailors come with no strings attached! Taoists do it! Tap dancers do it with their feet! Taxi Cab drivers come faster! Taxi drivers do it all over town! Taxidermists mount anything! Tchaikovsky did it pathetically! Teacher Assistants do it with class! Teachers do it repeatedly! Teachers do it with class! Techies do it behind the scenes! (as in stage hands) Techies do it in the dark! Techies do it on cue! Technicians do it with frequency! Technicians do it with greater frequency! Teddy Roosevelt did it softly, but with a big stick! Tennis players cannot play with balls all day long (too tired)! Tennis players do it in sets! Tennis players do it in straight sets! Tennis players do it with a racket! Tennis players do it in their shorts! Tennis players have fuzzy balls! Testators do it willingly! Time Lords do it anywhen they want! Time Lords do it in Time And Relative Dimensions In Space! Topologists do it on rubber sheets! Topologists do it openly! Trainees do it as practice! Trekkies go where no one has gone before! Trekkies do it in ways no one has ever done before! Trombone players do it in 7 positions! Trombones do it faster! Trombonists use more positions! Truants do it absently! Trump does it with cash! Trumpet players blow the best Tuba players do it with big horns! Tuba players do it deeper! Typesetters do it between periods! Typists do it with their fingers! Typographers do it with tight kerning! ---------------------------------------------------------------- [U] UNIX don't do it! Ultimate players do it horizontally! Undertakers do it with corpses! Unix Programmers must C her's! Usenet freaks do it with hard drives! Usenet news freaks do it with many groups at once! Ushers do it in the dark! Ushers do it in the aisles! Usurers do it with high interests! ---------------------------------------------------------------- [V] Vacationers do it in a leisure way! Vagrants do it everywhere! Valuers really know the price! Vanguard do it ahead of everyone else! Vegetarians don't do it with meats! Vendors try hard to sell it! Verifiers check on it! Versifiers write poems for it! Veterans have much more experience than the fresh-handed! Veterinarians do it with sick animals! Vicars do it with amazing grace! Victims are those who got it. Viewers do it with eyes! Vilifiers say others don't do it well! Villagers do it provincially! Victors know how hard to win it! Violinists do it gently! Violinists do it with long strokes! Violoncellists do it low! Virtuosi appreciate it! Visitors come and see it! Vocalists are good in their mouths! Voles dick through it! Volcanologists know how violent it can be! Volunteers do it willingly! Voters will decide who can do it! Votarists decide to contribute themself! Voyagers do it in between the sea and the sky! Vulcans do it logically! ---------------------------------------------------------------- [W] WW I GIs did it over there! Wagner did it for hours! Waiters and waitresses do it for tips! Waitresses serve it hot! Water Skiers do it with cuts! Welders do it with hot rods! Well diggers do it in a hole! Woodwind players have better tonguing! Wrestlers try not to do it on their backs! Writers do it with style! ---------------------------------------------------------------- [X] Xerox Machine operators do it the same way every time! ---------------------------------------------------------------- [Y] Yankees do it frugally! Yellow Pages do it with Walking Fingers! Yodelers do it in high places! ---------------------------------------------------------------- [Z] Zen Monks do it and don't do it! Zippermakers do it on the fly! Zoologists do it with animals! ---------------------------------------------------------------- -- Never do this at home. Look how easily it killed this sig. /\ ___/\ ___/\ _____________________________________________ \/ \/ \/ bx461@cleveland.freenet.edu (Leo J. Mauler) DISCLAIMER: Everything I say is false, including this sentence.