X-NEWS: spcvxb alt.sex: 80125 Relay-Version: VMS News - V6.1B4+SPC1 6/9/92 VAX/VMS V5.5-2; site spcvxb.spc.edu Path: spcvxb!rutgers!network.ucsd.edu!swrinde!cs.utexas.edu!uunet!spool.mu.edu!agate!usenet.ins.cwru.edu!cleveland.Freenet.Edu!bx461 Newsgroups: alt.sex Subject: [How Do You "Do It"?], Part 2 of 6 Message-ID: <1i3iqjINN23u@usenet.INS.CWRU.Edu> From: bx461@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Leo J. Mauler) Date: 2 Jan 93 08:13:07 GMT Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, Ohio (USA) NNTP-Posting-Host: hela.ins.cwru.edu Lines: 216 Chess players do it with knights/kings/queens/bishops/mates! Chess players mate better! Choir boys do it unaccompanied! Chickens do it to get to the other side of the road! Chiropractors do it by manipulation! Choir boys do it unaccompanied! Circuit designers offer VLSI! ( Very Long Sexual Intercourse) Circuit designers have a very low rise time! City Planners do it with their eyes shut! Civil Engineers do it by reinforcing it! Civil engineers do it in the dirt! Civil engineers do it with an erection! Clerics do it with their gods! Clock makers do it mechanically! Clowns do it for laughs! Cluster analysts do it in groups! Cocktail waitresses serve highballs! Collectors do it in sets! Colonel Sanders does it, then licks his fingers! Combinatorialists do it a countable number of times, sadly! Combinatorialists do it discreetly! Comedians do it for laughs! Commodities traders do it in the pits! Communists do it without class! Communications Engineers do it 'til it Hertz! Computer game players just can't stop! Computer operators do it upon mounted requests! Computer operators get the most out of their software! Computer operators peek before they poke! Computer scientists do it on command! Computer scientists simulate doing it! Computer scientists do it by bit! Computer nerds just simulate it! Computer scientists do it bit by bit! Computers do it in ASCII, except IBM's which use EBCDIC! Conductors do it rhythmically! Confectioners do it sweetly! Congregationalists do it in groups! Congressmen do it in the House! Construction workers do it higher! Construction workers lay a better foundation! Consultants tell other how to do it! Cooks do it with oil, sugar and salt! Copier repairmen do it with duplicity! Cops do it arrestingly! Cops do it by the book! Cops do it with cuffs! Cops do it with electric rods! Cops do it with nightsticks! Cops have bigger guns! Cowboys handle anything horny! Cowgirls like to ride bareback! Cows do it in leather! Crane operators have swinging balls! Credit managers always collect! Cross-word players do it crossly! Crosscountry runners do it in open fields! Cryptographers do it secretly! Cuckoos do it by proxy! ---------------------------------------------------------------- [D] DJs do it on request! DJs do it on the air! Dan Quayle does it in the dark! Dan Quayle does it with a potatoe! [sic] Dancers do it in leaps and bounds! Dancers do it to music! Dancers do it with grace! Dancers do it with their high heels on! Dark horses do it come-from-behind! Data Processors do it in batches! Deadheads do it with Jerry! Deep-sea divers do it under extreme pressure! Deer hunters will do anything for a buck! Delivery men do it at the rear entrance! Demonstraters do it on the street! Dental hygenists do it till it hurts! Dentists do it in your mouth! Dentists do it orally! Dentists do it with filling! Dentists do it painlessly (HA!) Deprogrammers do it with sects! Detectives do it under cover! Diamond cutters do it harder! Dieticians eat better! Digital hackers do it off and on! Direct mailers get it in the sack! Dispatchers do it with frequency! Ditch diggers do it in a damp hole! Divers do it deeper! Divers do it for a score! Divers do it underwater! Divers do it with a twist Divers go deep! Doctors do it in the OR! Doctors do it with pills! Doctors do it with patience! Doctors take two aspirins and do it in the morning! Don't do it with a banker! Most of them are tellers! Donuts do it with cream or jelly! Dragonriders do it Between! Drivers do it with their cars! Druggists fill your prescription! Druids do it in the bushes! Druids do it with animals! Druids leave no trace! Druids do it--naturally! Drummers beat it! Drummers do it in 4/4 time! Drummers do it longer! Drummers do it with both hands and feet! Drummers do it with rhythm! Drummers pound it! Drummers do it in rhythm! Drummers do it to the beat! Drywallers are better bangers! Dungeon Masters do it any way they feel like! Dungeon Masters do it anywhere they damn well please! Dungeon Masters do it behind a screen! Dungeon Masters do it in ways contrary to the laws of physics! Dungeon Masters do it to you REAL GOOD! Dungeon Masters do it whether you like it or not! Dungeon Masters do it with dice! Dungeon Masters have better encounters! Dwarves like deep holes! Dyslexic Particle Physicists do it with hadrons! ---------------------------------------------------------------- [E] E. E. Cumming does it with ease! Economists do it at bliss point! Economists do it cyclically! Economists do it in an Edgeworth Box! Economists do it on demand! Economists do it with a dual! Economists do it with an atomistic competitor! Economists do it with interest! Economists do it with inflation! El Ed majors teach it by example! Electrical Engineers are shocked when they do it! Electrical Engineers do it on an Impulse! Electrical Engineers do it with faster rise time! Electrical Engineers do it with large capacities! Electrical Engineers do it with less resistance! Electrical Engineers do it with more frequency Electrical Engineers do it with super position! Electrical Engineers offer less resistance! Electrical Engineers resonate until it hertz! Electricians are qualified to remove your shorts! Electricians check your shorts! Electricians do it in their shorts! Electricians do it just to plug it in Electricians do it until it Hertz! Electricians do it with 'NO SHORTS'! Electricians do it with spark! Electricians will undo your shorts for you! Electrochemists have greater potential! Elevator men do it up and down! Elves do it in fairy rings! Elves do it enchantedly! Employers do it to employees! Engineers are erectionist perfectionists! Engineers charge by the hour! Engineers do it any way they can! Engineers do it in Mudd! Engineers do it in practice! Engineers do it to a first order approximation! Engineers do it with precision! Engineers do it in sync! Engineers do it till their Megahertz! Engineers have good hardware! English majors are novel lovers! English majors do it with style! English majors do it with an accent! Englishmen/women do it with an accent! Entomologists do it with insects! Entrepreneurs do it with creativity and originality! Entymologists do it with bugs! Etymologists do it shouting complex words! Evangelists do it with Him watching! Executives do it in three piece suits! Executives have large staffs! Existentialists do it alone! ---------------------------------------------------------------- [F] F. B. I. does it under cover! FM Disc Jockeys do it in stereo! FM Disc Jockeys do it with high fidelity! FORTH programmers do it from behind! FORTRAN programmers do it with SOAP! FORTRAN programmers just DO it! Factor analysts rotate their principal components! Faith healers do it with whatever they can lay their hands on! Fantasy roleplayers do it all night! Fantasy roleplayers do it all weekend! Fantasy roleplayers do it in a dungeon! Fantasy roleplayers do it in a group! Farmers do it in the dirt! Farmers do it on a corn field! Farmers spread it around! Farmers do it the old-fashioned way! Fed-Ex agents will absolutely, positively do it overnight! Fencers do it with a thrust! Fencers do it with three feet of sword! Fencers do it in a full lunge! Fetuses do it in-vitro! Firemen are always in heat! Firemen do it wearing rubber! Firemen do it with a big hose! Firemen do it with their hoses Firemen do it with long hoses! -- Never do this at home. Look how easily it killed this sig. /\ ___/\ ___/\ _____________________________________________ \/ \/ \/ bx461@cleveland.freenet.edu (Leo J. Mauler) DISCLAIMER: Everything I say is false, including this sentence.