From: IN%"ritz@interactive.net" "Chris Mauritz" 14-AUG-1996 16:53:57.67 To: IN%"terry@spcvxa.spc.edu" CC: Subj: humor: FW: Sing it baby!! (fwd) Return-path: Received: from onyx.interactive.net (ritz@onyx.interactive.net) by spcvxa.spc.edu (PMDF V5.0-7 #14038) id <01I89UED3ALS8WW2HK@spcvxa.spc.edu> for terry@spcvxa.spc.edu; Wed, 14 Aug 1996 16:53:49 -0400 (EDT) Received: (from ritz@localhost) by onyx.interactive.net (8.7.5/8.7.2) id QAA16549 for terry@spcvxa.spc.edu; Wed, 14 Aug 1996 16:53:43 -0400 (EDT) Date: Wed, 14 Aug 1996 16:53:42 -0400 (EDT) From: Chris Mauritz Subject: humor: FW: Sing it baby!! (fwd) To: terry@spcvxa.spc.edu Message-id: <199608142053.QAA16549@onyx.interactive.net> MIME-version: 1.0 X-Mailer: ELM [version 2.4 PL25] Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Content-transfer-encoding: 7bit Forwarded message: > From nick@interactive.net Wed Aug 14 16:48:53 1996 > Date: Wed, 14 Aug 1996 16:48:52 -0400 (EDT) > Message-Id: <199608142048.QAA16136@onyx.interactive.net> > X-Sender: nick@interactive.net > X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Light Version 1.5.2 > Mime-Version: 1.0 > Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" > To: ritz, andy, skinner, frank, theresa > From: Nick > Subject: humor: FW: Sing it baby!! > Cc: joe@notovitz.com > > >X-Sender: mlyman@aegis-nt-server > >Date: Wed, 14 Aug 1996 14:44:43 -0500 > >To: scalesa@puzzler.nichols.com, THOMSON@pentagon-ocar1.army.mil, > > jhead@redstone.army.mil, TomorKim@aol.com, humor@west-point.org > >From: mlyman@aegisrc.com (Mike Lyman) > >Subject: humor: FW: Sing it baby!! > >LSender: owner-humor@west-point.org > >WEB-Site: http://www.west-point.org > >W3Home: http://www.west-point.org/wp/humor/ > >From-User: mlyman@aegisrc.com (Mike Lyman) > > > > > > > >You all now the words to american pie so start muzac and scroll down... > > > > > >A long, long, time ago > > I can still remember when I dialed up their help desk lines. > >And I knew if I had the chance > > They could make my modem dance > >with chats and GIFs and silly pick-up lines. > > > >But Help Desk phone calls made me shiver > > with every busy they'd deliver. > >Bad news on the front page > > A 19-hour outrage. > > > >I can't remember if I cried > > when I realized that Steve Case had lied. > >But something touched me deep inside > >The day > >the service > >died. > > > > > >So bye bye to Amer'ca Online > >Drove my modem to a domain and it's working just fine. > >And good old geeks are cheering users offline > >Saying this'll be the day that they die. > >This'll be the day that they die. > > > > > >Did you write the book of TOS > > Will you send your password to PWD-BOSS > >If an IM tells you so. > > > >And will you believe the Motley Fool > > When he tells you that the service rules > >And can you teach me how to Web real slow? > > > > Well I know you sold the service short > > Cause I saw your quarterly report. > > > > Steve Case sold off his stock > > It fell just like a rock. > > > >It was a crazy, costly high-tech play > >As they slashed away at what subscribers pay > >And half their users went away > >the day the service died. > > > > > > So bye bye to Amer'ca Online > > Drove my modem to a domain and it's working just fine > > And good old geeks are cheering users offline > > Saying this'll be the day that they die. > > This'll be the day that they die. > > > > > >Well for two days we've been on our own > > And dial-ins click on a rolling phone > >But that's not how it used to be > > > >When the mogul came to Virginia court > > With an OS icon and a browser port > >And a desktop that looked like Apple III. > > > > And while Jim Clark was looking down > > The mogul stole his thorny crown > > > > The browser war was turned. > > Mozilla...was spurned. > > > >And while Steve left users out to bond > >With hosts unable to respond > >6 million newbies all were conned > >the day the service died. > > > > > > So bye bye to Amer'ca Online > > Drove my modem to a domain and it's working just fine > > And good old geeks are cheering users offline > > Saying this'll be the day that they die. > > This'll be the day that they die. > > > > > >Da Chronic ducked their software guards > > And stole a million credit cards > >To use accounts he'd gotten free. > > > >And so Steve Case went to the FBI > > and he told Boardwatch* a little lie > >That hackers wanted child pornography * > > > > But while Steve Case was looking down > > The hackers pulled his e-mail down > > > > They put it on the net. > > He can't be trusted yet! > > > >And while user cynicism climbs > >At sign-on ads and welcome rhymes > >They scan their e-mail for "Good Times" > >the day the service died. > > > > > > So bye bye to Amer'ca Online > > Drove my modem to a domain and it's working just fine > > And good old geeks are cheering users offline > > Saying this'll be the day that they die. > > This'll be the day that they die. > > > > > >Helter-skelter billing needs a melter > > The lawyers filed a class-action shelter > >Eight million in lawyer's fees. > > > >But it looks like some attorney jibe > > an hour if they resubscribe. > >To a service marketed for free > > > > Well I KNOW you're raking in the bucks > > Cause I'm reading alt.aol-sucks. > > > > "Until we bless the suit > > The settlement is moot." > > > >"If AOL treats you like the Borg > >Then visit aolsucks.org > >Before some router pulls the cord..." > >the day the service died. > > > > > > So bye bye to Amer'ca Online > > Drove my modem to a domain and it's working just fine > > And good old geeks are cheering users offline > > Saying this'll be the day that they die. > > This'll be the day that they die. > > > > > >Bill Razzouk, the head-to-be > > sold off his home in Tennessee > >And headed for a 4-month end. > > > >Was he sad or just incensed > > when Case offered him his thirty cents. > >Billing is the devil's only friend. > > > > But as I read him on the page > > My hands were clenched in fists of rage. > > > > No "Welcome" born in hell > > could ring that chatroom bell. > > > >And as chat freaks cried into the night > >CompuServe read their last rites. > >I saw Earthlink laughing with delight > >the day the service died. > > > > > > So bye bye to Amer'ca Online > > Drove my modem to a domain and it's working just fine > > And good old geeks are cheering users offline > > Saying this'll be the day that they die. > > This'll be the day that they die. > > > > > >I met a girl in Lobby 9 > > And I asked her if she'd stay on-line. > >But she just frowned and looked away. > > > >And I went back to the Member Lounge > > To see what loyalty I could scrounge > >But Room Host said the members went away... > > > > And on the net the modems scream > > At faster speeds and data streams. > > > > And not a tear was spoken. > > The hourly fees were broken. > > > >And the three men that I hated most > >Ted, and Steve, and Razzouk's ghost > >They couldn't dial up the host > >The day the service died. > > > > > > > > > > > >Mike Lyman USMA '87 > >mlyman@aegisrc.com (Work) lyman@HiWAAY.net (Home) > >AEgis Research Corporation http://www.aegisrc.com > >6703 Odyssey Drive, Suite 200 Huntsville, AL 35806 > >Voice: 205.922.0802 Fax: 205.922.0904 > > > >PGP Key 0xC34BEF45 available on key servers > >Key fp:14 67 4D DB EA 8B 2D 5B 00 42 1A 4D 8E B5 50 10 > > > > > > > >