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From: "Martin Minow, ML3-5/U26  14-May-1990 0944" <minow@bolt.enet.dec.com>
Subject: cookie.005
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Marriage is a good deal like taking a bath -- not so hot once you get
accustomed to it.
%%
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution,
yet.
                                -- Mae West
%%
Marriage is the deep, deep peace of the double bed after the hurly-burly
of the chaise lounge.
                                -- Mrs. Patrick Campbell
%%
Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
                                -- Voltaire
%%
Marxist law of the distribution of wealth:  Shortages will be divided
equally among the peasants.
%%
Massachusetts has the best politicians money can buy.
%%
Maternity pay?  Now every Tom, Dick and Harry will get pregnant.
                                -- Malcolm Smith
%%
Mathematics gets its semblance of reality by never saying what it is
talking about.
                                -- Bertrand Russell
%%
Matrimony is a processs by which a grocer acquired an account the
florist had.
                                -- Francis Rodman
%%
Matrimony is the root of all evil.
%%
Maugham's advice:  Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to
you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it.
%%
Maxims are the condensed good sense of nations.
                                -- Sir J. Mackintosh
%%
May not taste be compared to that exquisite sense of the bee, which
instantly discovers and extracts the quintessence of every flower, and
disregards all the rest of it?
                                -- Greville
%%
May the Force be with you.
%%
May the Great Camel of Paradise bestow upon you and yours a dropping.
%%
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.
%%
May you be as healthy as the salmon.
%%
May you get to Heaven a half hour before the Devil knows you're dead.
%%
May you walk a mile behind a camel.
%%
Maybe love hasn't changed much through history, but can you imagine
Heloise and Abelard sitting around rubbing suntan oil on each other?
                                -- Bill Vaughan
%%
Maybe this world is another planet's hell.
                                -- Aldous Huxley
%%
Meanwhile, the guilty soul cannot keep its own secret.  It is false to
itself; or, rather, it feels an irresistible impulse of conscience to be
true to itself ... It must be confessed -- it will be confessed -- there
is no refuge from confession but suicide, and suicide is confession.
                                -- Daniel Webster
%%
Measure not men by Sundays, without regarding what they do all the week
after.
                                -- Fuller
%%
Medicare and Medicaid are the greatest measures yet devised to make the
world safe for clerks.
%%
Melancholy is the nurse of frenzy.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
Men are April when they woo, December when they wed, and maids are May
when they are maids, but the sky changes when they are wives.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
Men are apt to deceive themselves in big things, but they rarely do so
in particulars.
                                -- Niccolo Machiavelli
%%
Men are born with two eyes, but with one tongue, in order that they
should see twice as much as they say.
                                -- Colton
%%
Men are but children of a larger growth.
                                -- Dryden
%%
  Men are machines, with all their boasted freedom,
    Their movements turn on some favorite passion;
  Let art but find the foible out,
    We touch the spring and wind them at our pleasure.
                                -- Brooke
%%
Men are more sentimental then women. It blurs their thinking.
                                -- Lazarus Long
%%
Men are never so likely to settle a question rightly as when they
discuss it freely.
                                -- Macaulay
%%
Men are not against you; they are merely for themselves.
                                -- Gene Fowler
%%
Men are often capable of greater things than they perform.  They are
sent into the world with bills of credit, and seldom draw to their full
extent.
                                -- Horace Walpole
%%
Men are seldom more innocently employed than when they are honestly
making money.
                                -- Samuel Johnson
%%
Men are so constituted that everybody undertakes what he sees another
successful in, whether he has aptitude for it or not.
                                -- Goethe
%%
Men are the sport of circumstances, when the circumstances seem the
sport of men.
                                -- Byron
%%
Men can suck the heady juice of exalted self-importance from the bitter
weed of failure -- failures are usually the most conceited of men.
                                -- D. H. Lawrence
%%
Men fight for freedom; then they begin to accumulate laws to take it
away from them.
%%
Men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them, but not for
love.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
Men have fiendishly conceived a heaven only to find it insipid, and a
hell only to find it ridiculous.
                                -- George Santayana
%%
Men must either be caressed or annihilated and the injury must be such
that the victim cannot pay you back for it.  Whoever acts otherwise is
obliged to stand forever with a knife in his hand.
                                -- Niccolo Machiavelli
%%
Men must either be caressed or annihilated.  They will revenge
themselves for small injuries, but they can't do so for great ones.  The
harm the leader does must be such that he need not fear revenge.
                                -- Niccolo Machiavelli
%%
Men of genius are often dull and inert in society, as a blazing meteor
when it descends to earth, is only a stone.
                                -- Longfellow
%%
Men often deceive themselves in believing that humility can overcome
insolence.
                                -- Niccolo Machiavelli
%%
Men rarely (if ever) manage to dream up a god superior to themselves.
Most gods have the manners and morals of a spoiled child.
                                -- Lazarus Long
%%
Men rattle their chains to show that they are free.
%%
Men resemble the gods in nothing so much as in doing good to their
fellow creatures.
                                -- Cicero
%%
Men seldom show dimples to girls who have pimples.
%%
Men will never establish any equality with which they can be contented.
Whatever efforts a people may make, they will never succeed in reducing
all the conditions of society to a perfect level.
                                -- Alexis de Tocqueville
%%
Men will sooner surrender their rights than their customs.
                                -- Moritz Guedemann
%%
Men will wrangle for religion; write for it; fight for it; die for it;
anything but -- live for it.                      -- Colton
%%
Men with gray eyes are generally keen, energetic, and at first cold; but
you may depend upon their sympathy with real sorrow.  Search the ranks
of our benevolent men and you will agree with me.
                                -- Dr. Leask
%%
Mere longevity is a good thing for those who watch Life from the side
lines. For those who play the game, an hour may be a year, a single
day's work an achievement for eternity.
                                -- Gabriel Heatter
%%
Merely because the group is in formation does not mean that the group is
on the right course.
%%
Metaphysics is a dark ocean without shores or lighthouse, strewn with
many a philosophic wreck.
                                -- Immanual Kant
%%
Metaphysics is almost always an attempt to prove the incredible by an
appeal to the unintelligible.
                                -- H. L. Mencken
%%
Metaphysics is the science of proving what we don't understand.
                                -- Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
%%
Metaphysics may be, after all, only the art of being sure of something
that is not so, and logic only the art of going wrong with confidence.
                                -- Joseph Wood Krutch
%%
Might as well be frank, monsieur. It would take a miracle to get you out
of Casablanca.
%%
Might may not be right, but it usually wins.
%%
Mighty proud I am that I am able to have a spare bed for my friends.
                                -- Samuel Pepys
%%
Miller's corollary:  Objects are lost because people look where they are
not instead of where they are.
%%
Millions for defense, but not sone cent for tribute.
                                -- C. C. Pinckney
%%
Minds of the strongest and most active powers fall below mediocrity and
labor without effect, if confined to uncongenial pursuits.  And it is
thence to be inferred, that the results of human exertion may be
immensely increased by diversifying its objects.
                                -- Alexander Hamilton
%%
  Mingles with the friendly bowl,
  The feast of reason and the flow of soul.
                                -- Alexander Pope
%%
Minimize your therbligs until it becomes automatic; this doubles your
effective lifetime -- and thereby gives time to enjoy butterflies and
kittens and rainbows.
                                -- Lazarus Long
%%
Miracles are so called because they excite wonder.  In unphilosophical
minds, any rare or unexpected thing excites wonder, while in
philosophical minds the familiar excites wonder also.
                                -- George Santayana
%%
Miraculous secret for the early recovery of patients:  Inflation.
%%
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest one of all?  The press is
hopelessly biased or genuinely fair, depending upon whose views are
being misquoted, misrepresented, or misunderstood.
                                -- Pierre S. du Pont
%%
Misery loves company, but company does not reciprocate.
%%
Misery no longer loves company.  Nowadays it insists on it.
                                -- Russell Baker
%%
Misster, do you vant to buy a duck.
%%
Mistakes are oft the stepping stones to failure.
%%
Modern Way:  If It's Good, Scrap It.
                                -- Sydney J. Harris
%%
Modesty is to merit as shades to figures in a picture; giving it
strength and beauty.
                                -- La Bruyere
%%
Monday is an awful way to spend one-seventh of your life.
%%
Money and women are the most sought after and the least known of any two
things we have.
                                -- Will Rogers
%%
Money cannot buy love, nor even friendship.
%%
Money is a good servant, but a dangerous master.
                                -- Bonhours
%%
Money is a powerful aphrodisiac. But flowers work almost as well.
%%
Money is like manure.  If you spread it around, it does a lot of good.
But if you pile it up in one place, it stinks like hell.
                                -- Clint Murchison, Jr.
%%
Money is not the measure of a man, but it will do quite nicely if you
don't have any other yardstick handy.
                                -- Charles Merrill Smith
%%
Money is the sincerest of all flattery. Women love to be flattered. So
do men.
%%
Money is truthful. If a person speaks of his honor, make him pay cash.
%%
Money is whatever people believe is money and will voluntarily accept as
money.
%%
Money is wrong -- it's the means whereby man enslaves his brother.
                                -- Finny
%%
Money may buy friendship but money cannot buy love.
%%
Money will say more in one moment than the most eloquent lover can in
years.
%%
Money, therefore, if it is t be anything, must be at least an efficient
and trustworthy instrument by which working people accumulate savings.
                                -- Lewis E. Lehrnman
%%
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
                                -- H. G. Wells
%%
Moscow reportedly has been "closed" for the Olympics.  Access to the
city is restricted, tens of thousands of police patrol the streets, and
authorities are struggling to prevent what they term "ideological
pollution."  Residents are unable to detect any difference in Moscow
life.
                                -- National Review
%%
Most "scientists" are bottle washers and button pushers.
%%
Most accidents in well-designed systems involve two or more events of
low probability occurring in the worst possible combination.
                                -- Robert Machol
%%
Most economists think of God as working great multiple regressions in
the sky..
                                -- Edgar R. Fiedler
%%
Most essential qualification for a politician:  The ability to foretell
what will happen tomorrow, next month, and next year -- and to explain
afterward why it did not happen.
                                -- Winston Churchill
%%
Most general statements are false, including this one.
                                -- Edmund C. Berkeley
%%
Most men have more courage than even they themselves think they have.
                                -- Grenville
%%
Most of our so-called reasoning consists in finding arguments for going
on believing as we already do.
                                -- James Harvey Robinson
%%
Most of the evils of life arise from man's being unable to sit still in
a room.
%%
Most of the stuff alongside the road has been thrown out of car windows
by Democrats.
%%
Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't
have any fun at all.
                                -- Woody Allen
%%
Most of us are umpires at heart; we like to call balls and strikes on
somebody else.
                                -- Leo Aikman
%%
Most of us will never do great things, but we can do small things in a
great way.
%%
Most of us would be glad to pay as we go, if we could only catch up on
where we've been.
%%
Most organizations can't hold one idea at a time ... Thus complementary
ideas are always regarded as competitive.  Further, like a quantized
pendulum, an organization can jump from one extreme to the other,
without ever going through the middle.
                                -- Amrom Katz
%%
Most people are mirrors, reflecting the moods and emotions of the
times;  few are windows, bringing light to bear on the dark corners
where troubles fester. The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors
into windows.
                                -- Sydney J. Harris
%%
Most problems have either many answers or no answer.  Only a few
problems have one answer.
                                -- Edmund C. Berkeley
%%
Mother Nature is a bitch.
%%
Mr. Henry James writes fiction as if it were a painful duty.
                                -- Oscar Wilde
%%
Much study is a weariness of the flesh.
                                -- Ecclesiastes XII, 12
%%
Much that is dreadful and inhuman in history, much that one hardly likes
to believe, is mitigated by the reflection that the one who commands and
the one who carries out are different people.  The former does not
behold the sight and does not experience the strong impression on the
imagination.  The latter obeys a superior and therefore feels no
responsibility for his acts.
                                -- Frederick Nietzsche
%%
Munroe's Dictum: He that is without sin among you has been bored for a
lllllooooonnnnnggggg time.
%%
Murmur at nothing: if our ills are reparable, it is ungrateful; if
remediless, it is in vain.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
Murphy's Last Law:  If nothing went wrong today, you're probably dead.
%%
Murphy's Law never fail~                -- Walter J. Crowell
%%
Murphy's Law of Thermodynamics: Things get worse under pressure.
%%
Murphy's Law: The accessibility of a small part which has fallen behind
the workbench is directly proportional to its size  and inversely
proportional to its importance.
%%
Murphy's Law: Whatever can go wrong, will.
%%
Murphy's Law: Whatever goes wrong, will get worse.
%%
  Music hath charms to soothe a savage breast,
  To soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak.
  I've read that things inanimate have moved,
  And as with living souls have been inform'd
  By magic numbers and persuasive sound.
                                -- Congreve
%%
My advice to any young man at the beginning of his career is to try to
look for the mere outlines of big things with his fresh, untrained, and
unprejudiced mind.
                                -- H. Selye
%%
My aim is the re-establishment of the worship of men.
                                -- Gabriel D'Annunzio
%%
My atheism, like that of Spinoza, is true piety towards the universe and
denies only gods fashioned by men in their own image to be servants of
their human interests.
                                -- George Santayana
%%
My brother is an only child.
                                -- Bennett Cerf
%%
My congratulations to the committee that planned this day.
%%
My country is the world. My countrymen are all mankind.
                                -- William Lloyd Garrison
%%
My cup hath runneth'd over with love.
%%
My favorite piece of technical writing:  Assembly of Japanese bicycle
require great peace of mind.
                                -- Robert Pirsig
%%
My heart is heavy at the rememberance of all the miles that lie between
us; and I can scarcely believe that you are so distant from me.  We are
parted; and every parting is a form of death, as every reunion is a type
of heaven.
                                -- Edwards
%%
My idea of education is to unsettle the minds of the young and inflame
their intellects.
                                -- Robert Maynard Hutchins
%%
My idea of heaven is eating foie gras to the sound of trumpets.
                                -- Sydney Smith
%%
My indignation, like th' imprisoned fire, pent in the troubled breast of
Aetna, burnt deep and silent.
                                -- Thomson
%%
My interest is in the future because I am going to spend the rest of my
life there.
%%
My lips pressed themselves involuntarily to hers -- a long, long kiss,
burning intense -- concentrating emotion, heart, soul, all the rays of
life's light... into a single focus.
                                -- Bulwer
%%
My method is to take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say,
and then to say it with the utmost levity.
                                -- George Bernard Shaw
%%
My mother had a baby once.
                                -- Jigger
%%
My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been
one.
                                -- Groucho Marx
%%
My neighbor is a real energy saver -- hasn't been out of his hammock all
summer.
                                -- Phil Pastoret
%%
  My pen is at the bottom of a page,
  Which, being finished, here the story ends;
  'Tis to be wished it had been sooner done,
  But stories somehow lengthen when begun.
                                -- Byron
%%
My precept to all who build is, that the owner should be an ornament to
the house, and not the house an ornament to the owner.
                                -- Cicero
%%
My rage is not malicious; like a spark of fire by steel enforced out of
a flint it is no sooner kindled, but extinct.
                                -- Goffe
%%
My reason is not framed to bend or stoop; my knees are.
                                -- Michel de Montaigne
%%
My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.
                                -- Christopher Morley
%%
My to me an empire is.
                                -- Southwell
%%
My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.
                                -- Fred Allen
%%
Mystery is a word with no objective pertinence, merely describing the
limitations of a mind. In fact, a mind may be classified by the order of
the phenomena it considers mysterious ...
                                -- Magnus Ridolf
%%
NEW: different color from previous design
%%
NO MAINTENANCE: impossible to fix
%%
NUKE THE WHALES!!!
%%
NULL HYPOTHESIS: The type of hypothesis used by a pessimist.
%%
Narrowness of mind is often the cause of obstinacy:  we do not easily
believe beyond what we see.
                                -- La Rochefoucauld
%%
  Nations and empires flourish and decay,
  By turns command, and in their turns obey.
                                -- Ovid
%%
Natural abilities are like natural plants; they need pruning by study.
                                -- Francis Bacon
%%
Natural laws have no pity.
%%
Nature abhors a hero.  For one thing, he violates the law of
conservation of energy.  For another, how can it be the survival of the
fittest when the fittest keeps putting himself in situations where he is
most likely to be creamed?
                                -- Solomon Short
%%
Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
%%
Nature gave man two ends -- one to sit on and one to think with.  Ever
since then man's success or failure has been dependent on the one he
used most.
                                -- George R. Kirkpatrick
%%
  Nature here was so lavish of her store,
  That she bestow'd until she had no more.
                                -- Brown
%%
Nature is mighty.  Art is mighty.  Artifice is weak.  For nature is the
work of a mightier power than man.  Art is the work of man under the
guidance and the inspiration of a mightier power.  Artifice is the work
of mere man in the imbecility of his mimic understanding.
%%
Nature is the chart of God, mapping out all His attrributes; art is the
shadow of His wisdom, and copieth His resources.
                                -- Tupper
%%
Nature is the vicar of the Almighty Lord.
                                -- Geoffrey Chaucer
%%
Nature often enshrines gallant and noble hearts in weak bosoms --
oftenest, God bless her!
                                -- in female breasts.         -- Dickens
%%
Nature will tell you a direct lie if she can.
                                -- Charles Darwin
%%
  Neanderthalers, low of forehead,
    Slunk through prehistoric mists
  Thinking men were pretty horrid --
    Using spears against their fists!
%%
Necessity is the mother of invention.
%%
Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows.
                                -- Dave Farber
%%
Needs are a function of what other people have.
%%
Negative slack tends to increase.
%%
Neither a borrower nor a lender be at less than 18 percent per annum
compounded daily.
                                -- Poor Jimmy's Almanac
%%
Neither great poverty, nor great riches, will hear reason.
                                -- Fielding
%%
Neurosis is a communicable disease.
                                -- Solomon Short
%%
Never admit anything.  Never regret anything.  Whatever it is, you're
not responsible.
%%
Never appeal to a man's "better nature." He may not have one. Invoking
his self-interest gives you more leverage. -- Lazarus Long
%%
Never argue with an angry person.
%%
Never assume anything except a 4 1/2 percent mortgage.
                                -- David Kindred
%%
Never be first to do anything.
%%
Never bow to authority, but always tip your hat.
                                -- Jim Fiebig
%%
Never build after you are five and forty; have five years' income in
hand before you lay a brick; and always calculate the expense at double
the estimate.
                                -- Kent
%%
Never call a man a fool; borrow from him.
%%
Never characterize the importance of a statement in advance.
                                -- Charles G. Ross
%%
Never confuse motion with action.
                                -- Benjamin Franklin
%%
Never crowd youngsters about their private affairs. When they are
growing up, they are nerve ends all over, and resent (quite properly)
any invasion of their privacy. Oh, sure, they'll make mistakes -- but
that's their business, not yours. (YOU made your own mistakes, did you
not?)
                                -- Lazarus Long
%%
Never decide to buy anything while listening to the salesman.
                                -- Edmund C. Berkeley
%%
Never do anything for the first time.
                                -- Paul Herbig
%%
Never drink from your finger bowl -- it contains only water.
%%
Never eat at a place called Mom's.
                                -- Nelson Algren
%%
Never find your delight in another's misfortune.
                                -- Publius Syrus
%%
Never frighten a little man. He'll kill you.
                                -- Lazarus Long
%%
Never go to a doctor whose house plants have died.
                                -- Erma Bombeck
%%
Never grow old where you once have been great.
                                -- Italo Bombolini
%%
Never have anything to do with an unlucky place, or an unlucky man.  I
have seen many clever men, very clever men, who had not shoes to their
feet.  I never act with them.  Their advice sounds very well, but they
cannot get on themselves; and if they cannot do good to themselves, how
can they do good for me?
                                -- Baron Rothschild
%%
Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river.
                                -- Cordell Hull
%%
Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting.
%%
Never join with your friend when he abuses his horse or his wife, unless
the one is about to be sold, and the other to be buried.
                                -- Colton
%%
Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.
                                -- Salvor Hardin
%%
Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
                                -- Nelson Algren
%%
Never look a gift horse in the mouth.
%%
Never needlessly disturb a thing at rest.
                                -- John Randolph
%%
Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.
                                -- Sam Brown
%%
Never overlook a slight or forget a grudge.
%%
Never play cards with a man called Doc.
                                -- Nelson Algren
%%
Never purchase anything with a handle on it -- it means work.
%%
Never say "The White House wants" -- buildings don't "want."
                                -- Donald Rumsfeld
%%
Never say maybe in the same circulation area where you just said never.
                                -- Vic Gold
%%
Never say never.
%%
Never say no.
%%
Never say without qualification that your activity has sufficient space,
money, staff, etc.
                                -- Douglas Evelyn
%%
Never say you know a man until you have divided an inheritance with him.
%%
Never sell your hens on a wet day.
%%
Never send a letter requesting information to an editor unless you
expect to receive a prolix letter in return.
                                -- Robert Cook
%%
Never shirk from doing anything which your business calls you to do.
The man who is above his business may one day find his business above
him.
                                -- Drew
%%
Never simply say, "Sorry, we don't have what you are looking for."
 
Always say, "Too bad, I just sold the last one yesterday."
                                -- Robert Skole
%%
Never suffer an exception to occur till the new habit is securely rooted
in your life.  Each lapse is like the letting fall of a ball of string
which one is carefully winding up; a single slip undoes more than a
great many turns will wind again.
                                -- William James
%%
Never tamper with the truth.  Never rationalize it.  What you might like
to believe is not necessarily the truth.
%%
Never tell a lie unless it is absolutely convenient.
%%
Never tell people how to do things.  Tell them what to do and they will
surprise you with their ingenuity.
                                -- Gen. George S. Patton
%%
Never tell them what you wouldn't do.
                                -- Adam Clayton Powell
%%
Never trust a man who is Dr. Jekyll to those above him and Mr. Hyde to
those below him.
                                -- Charles Brower
%%
Never try to out-stubborn a cat.        -- Lazarus Long
%%
Never try to teach a pig to sing;  it wastes your time and it annoys the
pig.
%%
Never underestimate the nature and quality of the enemy.
                                -- Clausewitz
%%
Never underestimate the power of a platitude.
                                -- Edgar R. Fiedler
%%
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
%%
Never use one word when a dozen will suffice.
                                -- Paul Herbig
%%
New opinions are always suspected, and usually opposed, without any
other reason but because they are not already common.
                                -- John Locke
%%
New systems create new problems.
                                -- Dr. John Gall
%%
News always travels by the fastest available route.
                                -- Major Whitey Ardmore
%%
News stories expand and time contracts, meeting inexorably each day
twenty minutes after a man is supposed to be home for dinner.
                                -- Ray O'Neil
%%
Nice going, sweetheart.
                                -- Joe Patroni
%%
Nice guys finish last.
%%
Nice guys get sick.
%%
Nine times out of ten the man who listens to reason is thinking of some
way to refute it.
%%
No Negro American can be free until the lowliest Negro in Mississippi is
no longer disadvantaged because of his race.
                                -- Ralph Bunche
%%
No action is without side effects.
                                -- Barry Commoner
%%
No amount of experimentation can ever prove me right; a single
experiment can prove me wrong.
                                -- Albert Einstein
%%
No amount of genius can overcome a preoccupation with detail.
                                -- Marion J. Levy, Jr.
%%
No argument can be drawn from the abuse of a thing against its use.
%%
No atheist, as such, can be a true friend, an affectionate relation, or
a loyal subject.
                                -- Dr. Bentley
%%
No ball game is ever much good unless the people involved hate each
other.
                                -- Avery
%%
No books are lost by lending except those you particularly want to keep.
                                -- Alan Atwood
%%
No bounds his headlong, vast ambition knows.
                                -- Rowe.
%%
No call alligator long mouth till you pass him.
%%
No class of Americans, so far as I know, has ever objected ... to any
amount of governmental meddling if it appeared to benefit that
particular class.
                                -- Carl Becker
%%
No committee could ever come up with anything as revolutionary as a
camel -- anything as practical and as perfectly designed to perform
effectively under such difficult conditions.
                                -- Laurence J. Peter
%%
No company is far preferable to bad, because we are more apt to catch
the vices of others than virtues, as disease is far more courageous than
health.
                                -- Colton
%%
No cord or cable can draw so forcible, or bind so fast, as love can do
with a single thread.
                                -- Burton
%%
No dog will knock a vase over unless it has water in it.
%%
No doubt Jack the Ripper excused himself on the grounds that it was
human nature.
%%
No enemy is so terrible as a man of genius.
                                -- Disraeli
%%
No experiment is ever a complete failure.  It can always serve as a bad
example, or the exception that proves the rule (but only if it is the
first experiment in the series).
%%
No gnus is good gnus.
%%
No good deed goes unpunished.
                                -- Clare Boothe Luce
%%
No man can be wise on an empty stomach.
                                -- George Eliot
%%
No man can possibly improve in any company for which he has not respect
enough to be under some degree of restraint.
                                -- Chesterfield
%%
No man is lonely while eating spaghetti.
                                -- Robert Morely
%%
No man is so foolish but he may sometimes give another good counsel, and
no man so wise that he may not easily err if he takes no other counsel
than his own.  He that is taught only by himself has a fool for a
teacher.
                                -- Ben Johnson
%%
No man of honor, as that word is usually understood, did ever pretend
that his honor obliged him to be chaste and temperate, to pay his
creditors, to be useful to his country, or to do good to mankind, to
endeavor to be wise or learned, to regard his word, his promise, or his
oath.
                                -- John Hall
%%
No man was ever so much deceived by another as by himself.
                                -- Greville
%%
No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in
session.
%%
No matter how many reporters share a cab, and no matter who pays, each
puts the full fare on his own expense account.
                                -- Edward P. O'Doyle
%%
No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered, take it,
because it'll never be quite the same again.
                                -- John Cameron
%%
No matter how much you do, you'll never do enough.
%%
No matter how often you trade dinner or other invitations with in-laws,
you will lose a small fortune in the exchange.
 
Corollary: Don't try it; you cannot drink enough of your in-laws' booze
to get even before the liver fails.
                                -- Jackson Clark
%%
No matter how thin you slice it, it's still baloney.
                                -- Alfred E. Smith
%%
No matter what happens, there is always somebody who knew that it would.
%%
No matter what occurs, there is always someone who believed it happened
according to his pet theory.
%%
No matter what result is anticipated, there is always someone willing to
fake it.
%%
No matter what the product or service might be, you can always find it
somewhere else cheaper!
                                -- Ebenezer Scrooge
%%
No matter what the result, there is always someone eager to misinterpret
it.
%%
No matter which train you are waiting for, the wrong one comes first.
                                -- J. R. Meditz
%%
No morality can be founded on authority, even if the authority were
divine.
%%
No one can enjoy freedom unless he is willing to surrender some part of
it.
%%
No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
%%
No one ever prayed heartily without learning something.
                                -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
No one is as tired as the person who does nothing.
%%
No one is ever old enough to know better.
                                -- Holbrook Jackson
%%
No one knows his own servants as badly as the master.
%%
No one loves the man whom he fears.
                                -- Aristotle
%%
No one man can terrorize a whole nation unless we are all his
accomplices.
%%
No one remembers learning how to use a spoon, it is something that is
learned and not taught.
%%
No one whom you ask for help will see it either.
%%
No policy intervention in social problems produces the intended  effect
-- if the research is carried out by independent third parties,
especially those skeptical of the policy.
                                -- James Q. Wilson
%%
No reckoning made, but sent to my account With all my imperfections on
my head.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
No slave is ever freed, save he freeth himself.
%%
No state has an inherent right to survive through conscript troops and,
in the long run, no state ever has. Roman matrons used to say to their
sons: "Come back with your shield, or on it". Later on this custom
declined. So did Rome.
                                -- Lazarus Long
%%
No two people perceive the same thing identically.
                                -- Jack A. Marshall
%%
Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.
%%
Nobody can read Freud without realizing that he was the scientific
equivalent of another nuisance, George Bernard Shaw.
                                -- Robert Maynard Hutchins
%%
Nobody notices when things go right.
                                -- M. Zimmerman
%%
Nobody perceives anything with total accuracy.
                                -- Jack A. Marshall
%%
Nobody really knows what's going on anywhere within your organization.
%%
Nobody suffers the pain of birth or the anguish of loving a child in
order for presidents to make wars, for governments to feed on the
substance of their people, for insurance companies to cheat the young
and rob the old.
                                -- Lewis Lapham
%%
Nobody talks more of free enterprise and competition and of the best man
winning than the man who inherited his father's store or farm.
                                -- C. Wright Mills
%%
Nobody, including the Supreme court, knows what obscenity is.
                                -- Norman Dorsen
%%
Non-cooperation with evil is a much a duty as is cooperation with good.
%%
None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm.
%%
None but a fool is always right.
                                -- Hare
%%
  None but an author knows an author's cares,
  Or fancy's fondness for the child she bears.
                                -- William Cowper
%%
None but the well-bred man knows how to confess a fault, or to restrain
himself to lust in his heart.
                                -- Poor Jimmy's Almanac
%%
None can comprehend eternity but the eternal God.  Eternity is an ocean,
whereof we shall never see the shore; it is a deep where we can find no
bottom; a labyrinth from whence we cannot extricate ourselves and where
we shall ever lose the door.
                                -- Boston
%%
Nonsense is good only because common sense is so limited.
                                -- George Santayana
%%
Not Hercules could have knock'd out his brains, for he had none.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
Not a day passes over this earth, but men and women of no note do great
deeds, speak great words and suffer noble sorrows.
                                -- Charles Reed
%%
  Not all the pumice of the polish'd town
  Can smooth the roughness of the barnyard clown;
  Rich, honor'd, titled, he betrays his race,
  By this one mark -- he's awkward in his face.
                                -- Holmes
%%
Nothing can occur beyond the strength of faith to sustain, or,
transcending the resources of religion, to relieve.
                                -- Binney
%%
Nothing causes a prince to be so much esteemed as great enterprises and
giving proof of prowess.  It keeps the people's minds uncertain and
astonished and it keeps them occupied in watching the result.
%%
Nothing increases your golf score like witnesses.
%%
Nothing is certain except death and taxes.  Bretagna's Corollary:  If
anything else is permanent, it is the fact that, given any roadway,
somewhere upon it there will be someone going slower than you are.
                                -- Nicholas Bretagna II
%%
Nothing can so alienate a voter from the political system as backing a
winning candidate.
                                -- Mark B. Cohen
%%
Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving
his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental
attitude.
                                -- W. W. Zeige
%%
Nothing can take the place of practical experience out in the world.
%%
Nothing ever goes away.
                                -- Barry Commoner
%%
Nothing in education is so astonishing as the amount of ignorance it
accumulates in the form of inert facts.
                                -- Henry Adams
%%
Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
%%
Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man.
                                -- Fred Bucy, TI, Inc.
%%
Nothing is ever as simple as it seems.
%%
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
                                -- A. H. Weiler
%%
Nothing is new; we walk where others went; There's no vice now but has
its precedent.
                                -- Herrick
%%
Nothing is so contagious as enthusiasm; it is the real allegory of the
tale of Orpheus; it moves stones, it charms brutes.  Enthusiasm is the
genius of sincerity, and truth accomplishes no victories without it.
                                -- Bulwer
%%
Nothing is so good as it seems beforehand.
                                -- George Eliot
%%
Nothing is so great an instance of ill-manners as flattery.  If you
flatter all the company you please none; if you flatter only one or two,
you affront all the rest.
                                -- Jonathon Swift
%%
Nothing is ultimate.
%%
Nothing lovelier can be found in woman, than to study household good,
and good works in her husband to promote.
                                -- Milton
%%
Nothing makes a man and wife feel closer, these days, than a joint tax
return.
%%
Nothing minor ever happens to a car on a trip.
                                -- Charles D. Hartman
%%
Nothing minor ever happens to a car on the weekend.
                                -- Charles D. Hartman
%%
Nothing minor ever happens to a car.
                                -- Charles D. Hartman
%%
Nothing so fortifies a friendship as a belief on the part of one friend
that he is superior to the other.
                                -- Honore de Balzac
%%
Nothing so much prevents our being natural as the desire of appearing
so.
                                -- La Rochefoucauld
%%
Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared
believe that something inside them was superior to circumstance.
                                -- Bruce Barton
%%
Nothing succeeds like success.
                                -- Alexandre Dumas, Pere
%%
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
%%
Nothing will be attempted if all possible objections must first be
overcome.
%%
Nothing worth a damn is ever done as a matter of principle.  If it is
worth doing, it is done because it is worth doing.  If it is not, it's
done as a matter of principle.
                                -- James T. Evans
%%
Nothing, indeed, but the possession of some power can with any certainty
discover what at the bottom is the true character of any man.
                                -- Burke
%%
  Nought shall prevail against us, or disturb
  Our cheerful faith, that all which we behold
  Is full of blessings.
                                -- Wordsworth
%%
Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.
%%
Now good digestion wait on appetite, and health on both.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
  Now hatred is by far the longest pleasure;
  Men love in haste, but they detest at leisure.
                                -- Byron
%%
Now that we are no longer a growth company, your beard is a liability.
%%
Numbers are symbols for things; the number and the thing are not the
same.
                                -- G. O. Ashley
%%
Numbers are tools, not rules.
                                -- G. O. Ashley
%%
Nuptial love maketh mankind, friendly love perfecteth it; but wanton
love corrupteth and embaseth it.
                                -- Bacon
%%
O cursed ambition, thou devouring bird, how dost thou from the field of
honesty pick every grain of profit or delight, and mock the reaper's
toil!
                                -- Harvard
%%
O that my tongue were in the thunder's mouth!  Then with a passion would
I shake the world.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
  O thou who dost inhabit in my breast,
  Leave not the mansion, so long tenantless;
  Lest growing ruinous the building fall,
  And leave no memory of what it was.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
O to be self-balanced for contingencies!  O to confront night, storms,
hunger, ridicule, accidents, rebuffs as trees and animals do!
                                -- Walt Whitman
%%
O you much partial gods!  Why gave ye men affections, and not power to
govern them?
                                -- Ludovick Barry
%%
  O! love is like the rose,
  And a month it may not see,
  Ere it withers where it grows.
                                -- Bailey
%%
ONE-SHOT CASE STUDY: The scientific equivalent of the four-leaf clover,
from which it is concluded all clover possesses four leaves and is
sometimes green.
%%
OREGANO (Ore-gah-no): The ancient Italian art of pizza folding.
%%
OSHA's Discovery:  Wet manure is slippery.
%%
Obituaries are the last writes.
%%
Occam's Razor:  Entities ought not to be multiplied except from
necessity.
                                -- William of Occam
%%
  Of all affliction taught a lover yet
  'Tis sure the hardest science to forget.
                                -- Alexander Pope
%%
Of all forms of caution, caution in love is the most fatal.
%%
Of all mankind, each loves himself the best.
                                -- Terence
%%
Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the
reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest
amount of hot air.
                                -- Thomas L. Martin
%%
Of all the agonies of life, that which is most poignant and harrowing --
that which for the most time annihilates reason and leaves our whole
organization one lacerated, mangled heart -- is the conviction that we
have been deceived where we placed all the trust of love.
                                -- Bulwer
%%
  Of all the passions that possess mankind,
  The love of novelty rules most the mind;
  In search of this, from realm to realm we roam;
  Our fleets come fraught with ev'ry folly home.
                                -- Foote
%%
Of all the strange "crimes" that human beings have legislated out of
nothing, "blasphemy" is the most amazing -- with "obscenity" and
"indecent exposure" fighting it out for second and third place.
                                -- Lazarus Long
%%
  Of all the tyrants the world affords,
  Our own affections are the fiercest lords.
                                -- Earl of Sterling
%%
  Of all wild beasts preserve me from a tyrant;
  Of all tame -- a flatterer.
                                -- Johnson
%%
Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet
he has left it out of his heaven.
                                -- Mark Twain
%%
Of two possible events, only the undesired one will occur.
%%
Of what use are forms, seeing at times they are empty?  Of the same use
as barrels, which are at times empty too.
                                -- Hare
%%
Offences ought to be pardoned, for few offend willingly, but as they are
compelled by come affection.
                                -- Hegesippus
%%
Often statistics are used as a drunken man uses lampposts - for support
rather than illumination.
%%
Often the test of courage is not to die but to live.
                                -- Conte Vittorio Alfieri
%%
Oh what a fate worse than death it is to be strapped to the back of a
Wookiee!
                                -- C-3PO
%%
  Oh! greatness! thou art a flattering dream,
  A wat'ry bubble, lighter than the air.
                                -- Tracy
%%
Oh! how many torments lie in the small circle of a wedding ring.
                                -- Colley Cibber
%%
  Oh, sons of earth! attempt ye still to rise,
  By mountains pil'd on mountains to the skies?
  Heaven still with laughter the vain toil surveys,
  And buries madmen in the heaps they raise.
                                -- Alexander Pope
%%
Oh, what is so rare as a full day's work in June?
                                -- Baldwin Sells
%%
Old Jedi Knights never die; they just fade in and fade out.
%%
Old Scottish Prayer:  O Lord, grant that we may always be right, for
Thou knowest we will never change our minds.
%%
Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
                                -- Bernard M. Baruch
%%
Old friends are best.  King James used to call for his old shoes; they
were easiest to his feet.
                                -- John Seldon
%%
Old men are fond of giving good advice to console themselves for their
inability to give bad examples.
%%
Om Mani Padme Hum.
%%
Omissions, no less than commissions, are often times branches of
injustice.
                                -- Antoninus
%%
Omittance is no quittance.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are
created jerks.
                                -- Avery
%%
On a beautiful day like this it's hard to believe anyone can be unhappy,
but we'll work on it.
                                -- Donald Barr
%%
On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only
nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter
what it does.
                                -- Will Rogers
%%
On alcohol:  four is one more than more than enough.
                                -- Jim Pastore
%%
On beginning play, as many balls as may be required to obtain a
satisfactory result may be played from the first tee.  Everyone
recognizes a good player needs to "loosen up" but does not have time for
the practice tee.
                                -- Donald A. Metz
%%
On curing the depression that comes with having to work for a living:
Stay home for a day and watch daytime TV.
                                -- Sheldon
%%
On second thought, a philosopher is any person who doesn't want what he
can't get.
%%
On soap operas all whites are in personal touch with (a) a doctor and
(b) a lawyer.
                                -- James L. Davis
%%
On successive charts of the same organization, the number of boxes will
never decrease.
                                -- Charles P. Boyle
%%
On the other hand are four fingers and a thumb.
%%
On the theory that one should never take anything for granted, follow up
on everything, but especially those items varying from the norm.  The
greater the divergence from normal routine and/or the greater the number
of offices potentially involved, the better the chance a
never-to-be-discovered person will file the problem away in a drawer
specifically designed for items requiring a decision.
                                -- Douglas Evelyn
%%
Once a man gets a reputation as a liar, he might as well be struck dumb,
for people do not listen to the wind.
                                -- Pop Baslim
%%
Once a person has been hired, inertia sets in, and the employer would
rather settle for the current employee's incompetence and ideosyncracies
than look for a new employee.
                                -- Jules Becker
%%
Once a philosopher, twice a pervert.
                                -- Voltaire
%%
Once during prohibition I was forced to live for days on nothing but
food and water.
                                -- W. C. Fields
%%
Once economists were asked, "if you're so smart, why ain't you rich?"
Today they're asked, "Now that you've proved you ain't so smart, how
come you got rich?"
                                -- Edgar R. Fiedler
%%
Once is not enough.
                                -- Jacqueline Suzzane
%%
Once more into the breach, dear friends, once more!
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
Once the erosion of power begins, it has a momentum all its own.
%%
Once things have happened, no matter how accidentally, they will be
regarded as manifestations of an unchangeable higher reason.
                                -- Prof. Charles Frankel
%%
Once you accept your own death all of a sudden you are free to live. You
no longer care about your reputation ... you no longer care except so
far as your life can be used tactically -- to promote a cause you
believe in.
                                -- Saul Alinsky
%%
Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan them is to use a
larger can.  Old worms never die, they just worm their way into larger
cans.
                                -- Zymurgy (Conrad Schnieker)
%%
One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least
somebody's listening.
                                -- Franklin P. Jones
%%
One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar.
                                -- Helen Keller
%%
One can never repeat too often, that reason, as it exists in man, is
only our intellectual eye, and that, like the eye, to see, it needs
light -- to see clearly and far, it needs the light of heaven.
%%
One cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs -- but it is amazing
how many eggs one can break without making a decent omelette.
                                -- Professor Charles P. Issawi
%%
One crime is concealed by the commission of another.
                                -- Seneca
%%
One does not dip water with a knife.
%%
One does not have to keep bad governments in to keep Communists out.
                                -- John Kenneth Galbraith
%%
One ear heard it, and at the other out it went.
                                -- Chaucer
%%
One fact is better than one hundred apologies.
%%
One family builds a wall, two families enjoy it.
%%
One friend in a lifetime is much; two are many; three are hardly
possible.
                                -- Henry Adams
%%
One function of diplomacy is to dress realism in morality.
%%
One law for the lion and the ox is oppression.
                                -- William Blake
%%
One learns to itch where one can scratch.
                                -- Ernest Bramah
%%
One man tells a falsehood, a hundred repeat it as true.
%%
One man with courage makes a majority.
                                -- Andrew Jackson
%%
One man's "magic" is another man's "engineering." "Supernatural" is a
null word.
                                -- Lazarus Long
%%
One man's brain plus one other will produce one half as many ideas as
one man would have produced alone.  These two plus two more will produce
half again as many ideas.  These four plus four more begin to represent
a creative meeting, and the ratio changes to one quarter as many ...
                                -- Anthony Chevins
%%
One man's idea of hell is to be forced to remain in another man's idea
of heaven.
%%
One man's junk is another's income -- and sometimes his priceless
antique.
                                -- Richard N. Farmer
%%
One man's red tape is another man's system.
                                -- Dwight Waldo
%%
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
%%
One moment of patience may ward off a great disaster; one moment of
impatience may ruin a whole life.
%%
One must be either the anvil or the hammer.
%%
One must deal openly and fairly with one's forces if maximum
effectiveness is to be achieved.
                                -- Lord Darth Vader
%%
One need only look at Dolly Parton to realize that good things don't
always come in small packages.
%%
One of life's greatest pleasures: paying the last installment.
%%
One of the greatest unsolved riddles of restaurant eating is that the
customer usually gets faster service when the restaurant is crowded that
when it is half empty; it seems that the less that the staff has to do,
the slower they do it.
                                -- Sydney J. Harris
%%
One of the joys of travel is visiting new towns and meeting new people.
                                -- Genghis Khan
%%
One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to
do and always a clever thing to say.
                                -- Will Durant
%%
One of the things capitalism brought into the world was democracy,
though I do not think the two are inseparable.
                                -- Micheal Harrington
%%
One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem,
see a fine picture and, if possible, speak a few reasonable words.
                                -- Goethe
%%
One principle object of good-breeding is to suit our behavior to the
three several degrees of men -- our superiors, our equals, and those
below us.
                                -- Jonathon Swift
%%
One thing common to most success stories is the alarm clock.
%%
One thing that helped Rip Van Winkle sleep for 20 years was the fact
that none of his neighbors owned power lawn mowers.
%%
One touch of nature makes the whole world kin.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
One truth discovered, one pang of regret at not being able to express
it, is better than all the fluency and flippancy in the world.
                                -- William Hazlitt
%%
One worthwhile task carried to a successful conclusion is worth
half-a-hundred half-finished tasks.                   -- B. C. Forbes
%%
One's roommate (who has early classes) has an alarm clock that is louder
than God's own.
%%
One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other
two-thirds provide.                    -- Will Rogers
%%
Only God can make a random selection.
                                -- Marion J. Levy, Jr.
%%
Only a coward or a madman would give good for evil.
%%
Only a sadistic scoundrel -- or a fool -- tells the bald truth on social
occasions.
                                -- Lazarus Long
%%
Only constant and conscientious practice in the Martial Arts will ensure
a long and happy life.
                                -- Bruce Lee
%%
Only exceptionally rational men can afford to be absurd.
                                -- Allen Goldfein
%%
Only in time of peace can the wastes of capitalism be tolerated.
                                -- F. R. Scott
%%
Only someone with nothing to be sorry for smiles back at the rear of an
elephant.
%%
Only the dead fail to rise in my presence.
%%
Only the incompetent and mediocre are always at their best.
%%
Open your purse and your mouth cautiously; and your stock of wealth and
reputation shall, at least in repute, be great.
                                -- Zimmerman
%%
Opinion, that great fool, makes fools of all.
                                -- Field
%%
  Opinion, the blind goddess of fools, foe
  To the virtuous, and only friend to
  Undeserving persons.
                                -- Chapman
%%
Opportunity has hair in front, but behind she is bald; if you seize her
by the forlock, you may hold her, but if suffered to escape, not Jupiter
himself can catch her again.
%%
  Order is heaven's first law; and this confest,
  Some are, and must be, greater than the rest,
  More rich, more wise; but who infers from hence
  That such are happier, shocks all common sense.
                                -- Alexander Pope
%%
Order is the first requisite of liberty.
                                -- Georg Wilhelm Hegel
%%
Order is the sanity of the mind, the health of the body, the peace of
the city, the security of the state.  As the beams to a house, as the
bones to the microcosm of man, so is order to all things.
                                -- Southey
%%
Order without liberty and liberty without order are equally destructive.
                                -- Theodore Roosevelt
%%
Other people's patterns of expenditure and consumption are irrational
and slightly immoral.
                                -- Professor Charles P. Issawi
%%
Other people's tools work only in other people's yards.
                                -- Jane Bryant Quinn
%%
Our actions are our own; thier consequences belong to Heaven.
                                -- Francis
%%
Our acts our angels are, or good or ill, Our fatal shadows that walk by
us still.
                                -- John Fletcher
%%
Our concern is not how to worship in the catacombs but how to remain
human in the skyscrapers.
%%
Our customer's paperwork is profit.  Our own paperwork is loss.
                                -- Tony Brown, Control Data Corp.
%%
Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by
fearing to attempt.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
Our envy always lasts longer than the happiness of those we envy.
                                -- La Rochefoucauld
%%
Our grand business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to
do what lies clearly at hand.
                                -- Thomas Carlyle
%%
Our greatest glory consists not in never falling, but in rising every
time we fall.
                                -- Oliver Goldsmith
%%
Our happiness in this world depends on the affections we are enabled to
inspire.
                                -- Duchesse de Praslin
%%
Our humanity were a poor thing were it not for the divinity which stirs
within us.
                                -- Bacon
%%
Our judgment can be no better than our information.
%%
Our liberty depends on freedom of the press, and that cannot be limited
without being lost.
                                -- Thomas Jefferson
%%
Our lifetime may be the last that will be lived out in a technological
society.
                                -- Isaac Asimov
%%
Our natures are like oil; compound us with anything, yet will we strive
to swim at the top.
                                -- Beaumont and Fletcher
%%
Our own heart, and not other men's opinions form our true honor.
                                -- Coleridge
%%
Our passions are like convulsion fits, which, though they make us
stronger for a time, leave us the weaker ever after.
                                -- Alexander Pope
%%
Our repentance is not so much regret for the evil we have done, as fear
of its consequences.
%%
Ours is a world where people don't know what they want and are willing
to go through hell to get it.
%%
Out of the same substances one stomach will extract nourishment, another
poison; and so the same disappointments in life will chasten and refine
one man's spirit, and embitter another's.
                                -- William Matthews
%%
PERFORMANCE PROVEN: will operate through warranty period
%%
PO TEE WEET PEE WONGGG!!! You will be converted into software in 30
seconds!
%%
POST-TEST: A test made too late.
%%
PRE-TEST: A test made too early.
%%
  PUNCH     MEN
   KICK    WOMEN
   CHOP   CHILDREN
                                -- Sign in window of karate studio
%%
Pacifism is simply undisguised cowardice.
                                -- Adolf Hitler
%%
Pale death approaches with an equal step, and knocks indiscriminately at
the door of the cottage, and the portals of the palace.
                                -- Horace
%%
Parents cannot leave a better legacy to the world than well-educated
children.
%%
Parkinson's Finding on Journals:  The progress of science varies
inversely with the number of journals published.
%%
Parkinson's First Law:  Work expands so as to fill the time available
for its completion.
%%
Parkinson's Law of Medical Research:  Successful research attracts the
bigger grant which makes further research impossible.
%%
Parkinson's Law of 1000:  An enterprise employing more than 1000 people
becomes a self-perpetuating empire, creating so much internal work that
it no longer needs any contact with the outside world.
%%
Parkinson's Law of Delay:  Delay is the deadliest form of denial.
%%
Parkinson's New Law:  The printed word expands to fill the space
available to it.
%%
Parkinson's Principle of Non-Origination:  It is the essence of
grantsmanship to persuade the Foundation executives that is was they who
suggested the research project and that you were a belated convert,
agreeing reluctantly to all that had proposed.
%%
Parkinson's Second Law:  Expenditure rises to meet income.
%%
Parkinson's Telephone Law:  the effectiveness of a telephone
conversation is in inverse proportion to the time spent on it.
%%
Parkinson's Third Law:  Expansion means complexity and complexity,
decay; or to put it even more plainly -- the more complex, the sooner
dead.
%%
Passengers on elevators constantly rearrange their positions as people
get on and off so there is at all times an equal distance between all
bodies.
                                -- John Sharkey
%%
Passion often makes a madman of the cleverest man, and renders the
greatest fools clever.
                                -- La Rochefoucauld
%%
Passions are fashions.
                                -- Clifton Fadiman
%%
Patience is sorrow's salve.
                                -- Winston Churchill
%%
Peace is an extension of war by political means. Plenty of elbow room is
pleasanter -- and much safer.            -- Lazarus Long
%%
Pedantry crams our heads with learned lumber, and takes out our brains
to make room for it.
                                -- Colton
%%
People are always available for work in the past tense.
%%
People are never as happy or as unhappy as they think.
%%
People are never so ready to believe you as when you say things in
dispraise of yourself; and you are never so much annoyed as when they
take you at your word.
                                -- Somerset Maugham
%%
People at the top make decisions as though times were good when people
at the bottom know that the organization is collapsing.
                                -- Paul Gray
%%
People become progressive less competent for jobs they were once well
equipped to handle.
                                -- Paul Armer
%%
People don't change; they only become more so.
                                -- John Bright-Holmes
%%
People fail many times, but they become failures only when they begin to
blame someone else.
%%
People have a way of becoming what you encourage them to be, not what
you nag them to be.
%%
People love high ideals, but they got to be about 33-percent plausible.
                                -- Will Rogers
%%
People may forget how fast you did a job, but they will remember how
well you did it.
%%
People see what they have been conditioned to see; they refuse to see
what they don't expect to see.
                                -- Merle P. Martin
%%
People seldom improve, when they have no other model but themselves to
copy.
                                -- Oliver Goldsmith
%%
People want JUST taxes more than they want LOWER taxes. They want to
know that every man is paying his proportionate share according to
wealth.
%%
People who are always taking care of their health are like misers, who
are hoarding a treasure which they have never spirit enough to enjoy.
                                -- Sterne
%%
People who are excessively concerned about the environment invariably
turn out to own a great deal of land.  There are damn few unemployed and
renters in the ecology movement.
                                -- Frank Mankiewicz
%%
People who believe that the dead never come back to life should be here
at quitting time.
%%
People who can't figure out what to do with a Sunday afternoon are often
the same ones who can't wait for retirement.
%%
People who develop the habit of thinking of themselves as world citizens
are fulfilling the first requirement of sanity in our time.
                                -- Norman Cousins
%%
People who fail to understand their past mistakes may be condemned to
make them over again.
%%
People who go broke in a big way never miss any meals. It is the poor
jerk who is shy half a slug who must tighten his belt.
                                -- Lazarus Long
%%
People who have no faith in themselves seldom have faith in others.
%%
People who have no faults are terrible; there is no way of taking
advantage of them.
%%
People who live in glass houses shouldn't stow thrones.
%%
People who lose their heads are usually the last to miss them.
%%
People who run down others are taking a roundabout way of praising
themselves.
%%
People who take cat naps don't usually sleep in a cat's cradle.
%%
People who wait until they feel like doing a job rarely do.
%%
People who will not admit they've been wrong love themselves more than
they love the truth.
%%
People who write the most interesting and effective letters never answer
letters.  They answer people.
%%
People will accept your idea much more readily if you tell them Benjamin
Franklin said it first.
                                -- David H. Comins
%%
People will be happy in about the same degree that they are helpful.
%%
People will believe anything if you whisper it.
%%
People will buy anything that's one to a customer.
%%
Perfect happiness, I believe, was never intended by the Diety to be the
lot of one of His creatures in this world; but that He has very much put
in our power the nearness of our approaches to it, is what I have
steadfastly believed.
                                -- Thomas Jefferson
%%
Perfect valor is to do unwitnessed what we should be capable of doing
before all the world.
                                -- Duc de La Rochefoucauld
%%
Performance is directly affected by the perversity of inanimate objects.
                                -- Charles P. Boyle
%%
Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make
yourself do the thing you have to do, when it ought to be done, whether
you like it or not.
                                -- Thomas Henry Huxley
%%
Perhaps the only true dignity of man is his capacity to despise himself.
                                -- George Santayana
%%
Perhaps we are wiser, less selfish and more far-seeing than we were two
hundred years ago. But we are still imperfectly all these good things,
and since the turn of the century it has been remarked that neither
wisdom nor virtue have increased as rapidly as the need for both.
                                -- Joseph Wood Krutch
%%
Periods of tranquility are seldom prolific of creative achievement.
Mankind has to be stirred up.
                                -- Alfred North Whitehead
%%
Persevering mediocrity is much more respectable, and unspeakably more
useful than talented inconstancy.
                                -- Dr. James Hamilton
%%
Persons disagreeing with your facts are almost always emotional and
employ faulty reasoning.
%%
Peter's Inversion:  Internal consistency is valued more highly than
efficiency.
                                -- Laurance J. Peter
%%
Peter's Law:  The unexpected always happens.
                                -- Laurance J. Peter
%%
Peter's Paradox:  Employees in a hierarchy do not really object to
incompetence in their colleagues.
                                -- Laurance J. Peter
%%
Peter's Placebo:  An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.
                                -- Laurance J. Peter
%%
Peter's Theorem:  Incompetence plus incompetence equals incompetence.
                                -- Laurance J. Peter
%%
  Phases of a project:
  1.  Exultation.
  2.  Disenchantment.
  3.  Confusion.
  4.  Search for the guilty.
  5.  Punishment of the innocent.
  6.  Distinction for the uninvolved.
%%
Philosophy has the task and the opportunity of helping banish the
concept that human destiny here and now is of slight importance in
comparison with some supernatural destiny.
                                -- John Dewey
%%
Philosophy removes from religion all reason for existing ... As the
science of the spirit, it lookes upon religion as a phenomenon, a
transitory historical fact, a psychic condition that can be surpassed.
                                -- Benedetto Croce
%%
Philosophy will clip an angel's wings.
                                -- John Keats
%%
Philosophy, when superficially studied, excites doubt; when thoroughly
explored, it dispels it.
                                -- Bacon
%%
Philosophy -- the purple bullfinch in the lilac tree.
                                -- T. S. Eliot
%%
Philosophy: unintelligible answers to insoluble problems.
                                -- Henry Adams
%%
Pick the right person the first time.  The headaches you save will be
your own.
%%
Pills to be taken in twos always come out of the bottle in threes.
                                -- Robert Davis
%%
Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
                                -- Don Marquis
%%
Place your clothes and weapons where you can find them in the dark.
                                -- Lazarus Long
%%
Platitude: a dull old saw that everyone borrows but no one sharpens.
%%
Platonic friendship: The interval between the introduction and the first
kiss.
                                -- Sophie Irene Loeb
%%
Pleasant prospects for the future are indicated.
%%
Pleasure soon exhausts us and itself also; but endeavor never does.
                                -- Richter
%%
Pleasure that comes unlooked for is thrice welcome.
                                -- Rogers
%%
  Pleasure, or wrong or rightly understood,
  Our greatest evil, or our greatest good.
                                -- Alexander Pope
%%
Poetry has been to me "its own exceeding great reward;" it has soothed
my afflictions; it has multiplied and refined my enjoyments; it has
endeared solitude; and it has given me the habit of wishing to discover
the good and the beautiful in all that meets and surrounds me.
                                -- Coleridge
%%
Poetry is the eloquence of truth.
                                -- Campbell
%%
Poetry is the revelation of a feeling that the poet belives to be
interior and personal but which the reader recognizes as his own.
%%
Poets are all who love -- all who feel great truths -- And tell them.
                                -- Bailey
%%
Policeman's barbecue -- steak-out         -- Raymond D. Love
%%
Political economy:  two words that should be divorced -- on grounds of
incompatibility.
                                -- The Wall Street Journal
%%
Political power is as permanent as today's newspaper. Ten years from
now, few will know or care who the most powerful man in any state was
today.
                                -- Mark B. Cohen
%%
Politicians who vote huge expenditures to alleviate problems get
reelected; those who propose structural changes prevent problems get
early retirement.
                                -- John McClaughry
%%
Politicians will always inflate when given the opportunity.
%%
Politics isn't too bad a profession.  If you succeed, there are many
rewards. If you disgrace yourself, you can always write a book.
%%
Politics makes strange bedfellows.
%%
Positive anything is better than negative nothing.
                                -- Elbert Hubbard
%%
Positive:  Being mistaken at the top of one's voice.
                                -- Ambrose Bierce
%%
Poster in Belgrade tourist office:  Visit the Soviet Union before it
visits you.
%%
  Pour the full tide of eloquence along,
  Serenely pure, and yet divinely strong.
                                -- Alexander Pope
%%
Poverty makes people satirical -- soberly, sadly bitterly satirical.
                                -- Friswell
%%
Power attracts people but it cannot hold them.
                                -- Mark B. Cohen
%%
Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
                                -- Lord Acton
%%
Practice does not make perfect; perfect practice makes perfect.
                                -- Vince Lombardi
%%
  Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation!
  Then conquer we must, when our cause is just,
  And this be our motto:  "In God we trust;"
  And the star-spangled banner, O long may it wave
  O'er the land of the free, and the home of the brave.
                                -- Francis Scott Key
%%
Praise the sea, but keep on land.
                                -- George Herbert
%%
Praise was originally a pension, paid by the world.
                                -- Jonathon Swift
%%
Preserve the old, but know the new.
%%
Pride makes us esteem ourselves; vanity makes us desire the esteem of
others. It is just to day, as Dean Swift has done, that a man is too
proud to be vain.
                                -- Blair
%%
Pride that dines on vanity, sups on contempt.
                                -- Benjamin Franklin
%%
  Prior Laws of Politics:
  (1).  Pay your dues.
  (2).  Attend the meetings.
                                -- Lyndon B. Johnson
%%
Private and secret offices of religion are like the refreshing of a
garden with the distilling and pretty drops of a water pot; but,
addressed from the temple, are like rain from heaven.
                                -- Jeremy Taylor
%%
Private enterprise ... makes OK private action which would be considered
dishonest in public action.
                                -- John F. Kennedy
%%
Private enterprise is ceasing to be free enterprise.
                                -- Franklin Delano Roosevelt
%%
Private enterprise, indeed, became too private.  It became privileged
enterprise, not private enterprise.
                                -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
%%
Probably no invention came more easily to man than when he thought up
heaven.
                                -- G. C. Lichtenberg
%%
Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by hitting back.
                                -- Pat Hein
%%
Proclaim yourself "World Champ" of something -- tiddly-winks,
rope-jumping, whatever -- send this notice to newspapers, radio, TV, and
wait for challengers to confront you.  Avoid challenges as long as
possible, but continue to send news of your achievements to all media.
Also, develop a newsletter and letterhead for communications.
                                -- Will Yolen
%%
Procrastination is the thief of time.
                                -- Dr. Young
%%
Productivity = (Number of secretaries X Average typing speed) / (Number
of Scientists).  Note that when the number of scientists is zero,
productivity becomes infinite.
                                -- Robert Sommer
%%
Profits go to the profit minded.
%%
Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the
programmer to write programs in English, and you will find that
programmers cannot write in English.
%%
Progress is a nice word. But change is its motivator and change has its
enemies.
                                -- Robert F. Kennedy
%%
Progress is made on alternate Fridays.
%%
Project teams detest weekly progress reporting because it so vividly
manifests their lack of progress.
%%
Promptness is its own reward, if one lives by the clock instead of the
sword.
%%
Prosperity doth best discover vice; but adversity doth best discover
virtue.
                                -- Francis Bacon
%%
Protozoa are small, and bacteria are small, but viruses are smaller than
the both put together.
%%
Psst! Shadowfax in the seventh.
%%
Publishing a volume of verse is like dropping a rose petal down the
Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo.
%%
Put not your trust in money, but put your money in trust.
                                -- Holmes
%%
Purchase not friends with gifts; when thou ceasest to give, such will
cease to love.
                                -- Fuller
%%
Pure drivel tends to drive ordinary drivel off the TV screen.
                                -- Marvin Kitman
%%
Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this:  To visit
the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself
unspotted from the world.
                                -- James I, 27
%%
Purity is the feminine, truth the masculine, of honor.
                                -- Hare
%%
Purposes, as understood by the purposer, will be judged otherwise by
others.
  Corollary: If you explain so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody
             will.
  Corollary: If you do something which you are sure will meet with everybody's
             approval, somebody won't like it.
  Corollary: Procedures devised to implement the purpose won't quite work.
                                -- Francis P. Chisholm
%%
Put God to work for you and maximize your potential in our divinely
ordered capitalist system.
                                -- Norman Vincent Peale
%%
Put an excessive value on money.
%%
Put not your trust in money, but put your money in trust.
%%
Put only the restriction on your pleasures -- be cautious that they hurt
no creature that has life.
                                -- Zimmerman
%%
Put your brain in gear before starting your mouth.
%%
Put your trust in those who are worthy.
%%
Question with boldness even the existence of God; because, if there be
one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of
blindfolded fear.
                                -- Thomas Jefferson
%%
Quit when you're still behind.
                                -- Pierre Salinger
%%
Quit while you're ahead.  You may not get another chance.
%%
RADICAL: A person whose left hand does know what his other left hand is
doing.
                                -- Bernard Rosenberg
%%
RANDOMIZATION: The assignment of subjects to conditions in an experiment
according to some preconceived plan. Randomness like chastity is more
often claimed than maintained.
%%
REASON: the Devil's harlot.
                                -- Martin Luther
%%
REDESIGNED: previous faults corrected, we hope
%%
RELIABLE: Sometimes capable of giving the same results.
%%
RELIGION: A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the
nature of the Unknowable.
                                -- Ambrose Bierce
%%
REPUTATION: what others are not thinking about you.
%%
REVIEWER'S NOTE: A rejection slip based upon literature and theories in
vogue during the period the reviewer was studying for his or her Ph.D.
%%
REVOLUTIONARY: it's different from our competitors
%%
RUGGED: too heavy to lift
%%
Raising pet electric eels is gaining a lot of current popularity.
%%
Randomness: The property required to make statistical calculation come
out right.
%%
Rapoport's Rule of the Roller-Skate Key:  Certain items which are
crucial to a given activity will show up with uncommon regularity until
the day when that activity is planned, at which point the item in
question will disappear from the face of the earth.
                                -- Dan Rapoport
%%
Ray's Hangover Cure:  Stay drunk!
%%
Read and listen for what is missing. Many advisors are quite capable of
stating how to improve what has been proposed, or what's wrong. Few seem
capable of sensing what isn't there.
                                -- Donald Rumsfeld
%%
Read not to contradict and confute, nor to believe and take for granted,
nor to find talk and discourse, but to weigh and consider.
                                -- Bacon
%%
Reading maketh a full man, conference a ready man, and writing an exact
man.
                                -- Bacon
%%
Real joy comes not from ease or riches or from the praise of men, but
from doing something worthwhile.
                                -- Sir Wilfred Grenfell
%%
Reality is always more conservative than ideology.
                                -- Raymond Aron
%%
Reality is for people who can't take science fiction.
%%
Reason is the life of the law; nay the common law itself is nothing else
but reason ... The law which is the perfection of reason.
                                -- Coke
%%
Reason is the test of ridicule -- not ridicule the test of truth.
                                -- Warburton
%%
Reassurance of business by a President has an unfavorable effect on
confidence.
                                -- Mark Epernay
%%
  Rebecca's House Rules:  At least one fits every occasion.
  1.  Throw it on the bed.
  2.  Fry onions.
  3.  Call Jenny's mother.
  4.  No one's got the corner on suffering.
  5.  Run it under the cold tap.
  6.  Everything takes practice, except being born.
                                -- Sharon Mathews
%%
Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God.
                                -- Thomas Jefferson
%%
Recent investments will yield a slight profit.
%%
Rechargable batteries die at the most critical time of the most complex
problem.
                                -- John L. Shelton
%%
Reform, like charity must begin at home.  Once will at home, how will it
radiate outwards, irrepressible, into all that we touch and handle,
speak and work; kindling every new light by incalculable contagion,
spreading, in geometric ratio, far and wide, doing good only wherever it
spreads, and not evil.
                                -- Carlyle
%%
Reforms come from below.  No man with four aces howls for a new deal.
                                -- John F. Parker
%%
Regardless of whether a mission expands or contracts, administrative
overhead continues to grow at a steady rate.
                                -- Charles J. Zimmerman
%%
Regularity is unity, unity is godlike, only the devil is unchangeable.
                                -- Richter
%%
Religion and Morality are the firmest foundations of the duties of men
and women.
                                -- Alexander Hamilton
%%
Religion is the best armor that a man can have, but it is the worst
cloak.
                                -- Bunyan
%%
Remember Gummidge's Law and you will never be found out.
%%
Remember that time in office is money in the campaign fund.
                                -- Poor Jimmy's Almanac
%%
Remember your place, programmer, that way you may keep your head.
%%
Remember, the more engineering projects there are, the more products
there will be.
                                -- Richard F. Moore
%%
Remember: LSD absorbs 47 times it own weight in excess reality.
%%
Republican boys date Democratic girls.  They plan to marry Republican
girls, but feel they're entitled to a little fun first.
%%
Republicans consume three-fourths of the rutabaga produced in this
country. The remainder is thrown out.
%%
Republicans employ exterminators.  Democrats step on the bugs.
%%
Republicans raise dahlias, Dalmations, and eyebrows.  Democrats raise
Airedales, kids, and taxes.
%%
Republicans sleep in twin beds -- some even in separate rooms.  That is
why there are more Democrats.
%%
Republicans study the financial pages of the newspaper.  Democrats put
them in the bottom of the bird cage.
%%
Republicans tend to keep their shades drawn, although there is seldom
any reason why they should.  Democrats ought to, but don't.
%%
Republicans usually wear hats and clean their paint brushes.
%%
Research is reading two books that have never been read in order to
write a third that will never be read.
%%
Rest is the sweet sauce of labor.
                                -- Plutarch
%%
Restrain thy mind, and let mildness ever attend thy tongue.
                                -- Theognis
%%
Restriction of free thought and free speech is the most dangerous of all
subversions.  Is is the one un-American act that could most easily
defeat us.
                                -- Justice William O. Douglass
%%
Reunite Gondawanaland!!!
%%
Rewards are usually anti-climatic -- the fun is in the doing.
%%
Rich, be not exalted; poor, be not dejected.
                                -- Cleobulus
%%
Right you are if you say you are -- obscurely.
                                -- TIME, 30-Dec-77
%%
Rocks have been shaken from their solid base, but what shall move a firm
and dauntless mind?
                                -- Joanna Baillie
%%
  Rose at an instant, learn'd, play'd, eat together;
  And wheresoe'er we went, like Juno's swans,
  Still we went coupled, and inseparable.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
Rowe's Rule: The odds are 6 to 5 that the light at the end of the tunnel
is a headlight of an oncoming express train.
%%
Rule of Parenthood:  Birthday parties always end in tears.
                                -- Phyllis C. Richman
%%
Rule of Parenthood:  Enough is never enough.
                                -- Phyllis C. Richman
%%
Rule of Parenthood:  The sun always rises in the baby's bedroom window.
                                -- Phyllis C. Richman
%%
Rule of Parenthood:  Whenever you decide to take the kids home, it is
always five minutes earlier that they break into fights, tears,
hysteria.
                                -- Phyllis C. Richman
%%
  Rules for Academic Deans:
  (1). HIDE!!!!
  (2). If they find you, LIE!!!!
                                -- Father Damian C. Fandal
%%
  Rules:
  1.  The boss is always right.
  2.  When the boss is wrong, refer to rule 1.
%%
  Run if you like, but try to keep your breath;
  Work like a man, but don't be worked to death.
                                -- Holmes
%%
Run not into debt, either for wares sold, or money borrowed; be content
to want things that are not of absolute necessity, rather than run up
the score.
                                -- Sir M. Hale
%%
  Running together all about,
  The servents put each other out,
  Till the grave master had decreed,
  The more haste, ever the worst speed.
                                -- Churchill
%%
Ryan's Law: Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will
establish yourself as an expert.
%%
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED: manufacturer's, upon receipt of the check
%%
STATISTICAL ANALYSIS: Mysterious, sometimes bizarre, manipulations
performed upon the collected data of an experiment in order to obscure
the fact that the results have no generalizable meaning for humanity.
Commonly, computers are used, lending an additional aura of unreality to
the proceedings.
%%
SUCCESS: Living long enough to be a burden on your children.
%%
Sam's Axiom (1): Any line, however short, is still too long.
%%
Sam's Axiom (2): Work is the crabgrass of life, but money is the water
that keeps it green.
%%
Sanity and insanity overlap a fine gray line.
                                -- Charles van Kriedt
%%
Satan hasn't a single salaried helper; the Opposition employs a million.
%%
Satire does not look pretty upon a tombstone.
%%
Satire is what closes in New Haven.
%%
Satisfaction derived from a trip goes down as Expectation goes up if
Reality is unchanged.  S = R/E  As Reality becomes more favorable, the
chance for Satisfaction goes up IF Expectation is unchanged.
                                -- Hall T. Sprague
%%
Sattingler's Law: It works better if you plug it in.
%%
Say's Law:  Supply creates its own demand.
%%
Scheduled changes always mean cutbacks. (Minor schedule adjustments
always affect your bus (train, whatever))
                                -- Steve Ross
%%
Scheduled changes always mean cutbacks.
                                -- Steve Ross
%%
Science commits suicide when it adopts a creed.
                                -- Thomas Henry Huxley
%%
Science does not have a moral dimension.  It is like a knife.  If you
give it to a surgeon or a murderer, each will use it differently.
                                -- Werner von Braun
%%
Science is a flickering light in our darkness, it is but the only one we
have and woe to him who would put it out.
                                -- Morris Cohen
%%
Science is a history of superceded theories.
%%
Science is a wonderful thing, but it has not succeeded in maximizing
pleasure and minimizing pain, and that's all we asked of it.
%%
Science is facts; just as houses are made of stones, so is science made
of facts; but a pile of stones is not a house and a collection of facts
is not necessarily science.
                                -- Henri Poincaire
%%
Science is nothing but developed perception, integrated intent, common
sense rounded out and minutely articulated.
                                -- George Santayana
%%
Science is the refusal to believe on the basis of hope.
                                -- C. P. Snow
%%
Science seeks generally only the most useful systems of classification:
these it regards for the time being, until more useful classifications
are invented, as true.
                                -- S. I. Hayakawa
%%
Scientific and humanist approaches are not competitive but supportive,
and both are ultimately necessary.
                                -- Robert C. Wood
%%
Scientists and engineers set high performance standards for themselves;
therefore, performance appraisal and career planning are perfunctory.
                                -- Richard F. Moore
%%
Scientists are Peeping Toms at the keyhole of eternity.
                                -- Arthur Koestler
%%
Scientists who dislike the restraints of highly organized research like
to remark that a truly great research worker needs only three pieces of
equipment: a pencil, a piece of paper, and a brain .... But they quote
this maxim more often at academic banquets than at budget hearings.
                                -- Don Price
%%
Scrubbing floors and emptying bedpans has as much dignity as the
Presidency.
                                -- Richard Nixon
%%
Secrecy is the beginning of tyranny.
%%
Secret sources are more credible.
                                -- Ron Nessen
%%
Secretary's Lament:  Around here I'm a very responsible person.  If
anything happens, I'm responsible.
%%
Security is mostly a superstition.  Security does not exist in nature,
nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.  Avoiding danger is
no safer in the long run than outright exposure.  Life is either a
daring adventure or nothing.
                                -- Helen Keller
%%
See the world! Learn helicopter maintenance.
%%
Seers and soothsayers read crystal balls to find the future.  Less lucky
men read junk -- with more success.          -- Richard N. Farmer
%%
Self-centered people are those who spend so much time talking about
themselves we never get a chance to talk about ourselves.
%%
Self-checking systems tend to have a complexity in proportion to the
inherent unreliability of the system in which they are used.
                                -- Tom Gibb
%%
Self-defense is nature's oldest law.    -- Dryden
%%
Self-love is more cunning than the most cunning man in the world.
                                -- La Rochefoucauld
%%
Self-love is the greatest of flatterers.
                                -- La Rochefoucauld
%%
Sense switches and data switches should only be used as warm furry
buttons: they don't do anything but when you push them they push back,
and make you feel loved, i.e. for selective printing and tracing in
debug.
%%
Seven-eighths of everything can't be seen.
%%
Sex is hereditary.  If your parents never had it, chances are you won't
either.
                                -- Joseph Fischer
%%
Share your happiness with others today.
%%
She balanced dignity on the tip of her nose.
%%
She has as much originality as a Xerox machine.
                                -- Laurence J. Peter.
%%
She neglects her heart who studies her glass.
                                -- Lavater
%%
She's learned to say things with her eyes that others waste time putting
into words.
%%
Short term success with voters on any side of a given issue can be
guaranteed by creating a long-term special study commission make up of
at least three divergent interest groups.
                                -- Ray Connolly
%%
Show me a good mouser and I'll show you a cat with bad breath.
%%
Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I'll show you a failure.
                                -- Thomas Alva Edison
%%
Show us a home with young children and we'll show you a home where every
pack of cards counts out at between 37 and 51.
                                -- Bill Vaughan
%%
Show your affection, which will probably meet with pleasant response.
%%
Sign in a cluttered, old-fashioned hardware store:  "We've got it, if we
can find it."
%%
Sign in a loan company window:  "Now you can borrow enough money to get
completely out of debt."
%%
Silence gives consent, or a horrible feeling that nobody's listening.
                                -- Franklin P. Jones
%%
Simple diet is best;  for many dishes bring many diseases; and rich
sauces are worse than even heaping several meats upon each other.
                                -- Pliny
%%
Simplicity is the true test.
                                -- Ron Randall
%%
Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle which fits them all.
                                -- Holmes
%%
Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily. All other "sins"
are invented nonsense. (Hurting yourself is NOT a sin -- just stupid.)
                                -- Lazarus Long
%%
Since a democratic society repudiates the principle of external
authority, it must find a substitute in voluntary disposition and
interest; these can be created only by education.
                                -- John Dewey
%%
Since attaining the full use of my reason no one has ever heard me
laugh.
                                -- Earl of Chesterfield
%%
Since blue-sky projects are targeted for major breakthroughs, they are
relatively immune from planning and control.
                                -- Richard F. Moore
%%
Since no matter can be created or destroyed (excluding nuclear and
cafeteria substances), as one attempts to remove unwanted material (i.
e., trash) from one's living space, the remaining material mutates so as
to occupy 30 to 50 percent more than its original volume.
%%
Since prehistoric man, no battle has ever gone as planned.
                                -- Donal Graeme
%%
Since the generality of persons act from impulse much more than from
principle, men are neither so good nor so bad as we are apt to think
them.
                                -- Hare
%%
Since we have to speak well of the dead, let's knock them while they're
alive.
                                -- John Sloan
%%
Sincerity is like traveling in a plain beaten road, which commonly
brings a man sooner to his journey's end than byways, in which men often
lose themselves.
                                -- Tiliotson
%%
Sink or swim, live or die, survive or perish, I give my heart and my
hand to this vote.
                                -- Daniel Webster
%%
  Sirs, adulation is a fatal thing --
  Rank poison for a subject, or a king.
                                -- Dr. Wolcot
%%
Sixty years ago I knew everything; now I know nothing; education is a
progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
                                -- Will Durant
%%
Skiing is so much fun. The bright blue above you ... AND THE BRIGHT BLUE
BELOW YOU!
%%
Skill in manipulating numbers is a talent, not evidence of divine
guidance.
                                -- G. O. Ashley
%%
Skinner's Constant:  That quantity, which, when multiplied by, divided
by, added to, or subtracted from the answer you get, gives you the
answer you should have gotten.
%%
Slander meets no regard from noble minds; only the base believe what the
base only utter.
                                -- Beller
%%
Slave to no sect, who takes no private road But looks through nature up
to nature's God.
                                -- Alexander Pope
%%
Sleep is lovely, death is better still, not to have been born is of
course the miracle.
                                -- Heinrich Heine
%%
Slightly deaf students will have instructors who mumble.
                                -- M. M. Johnston
%%
Sloth makes all things difficult, but industry all easy; and he that
riseth late, must trot all day, and shall scarce overtake his business
at night; while laziness travels so slowly, that poverty soon overtakes
him.
                                -- Benjamin Franklin
%%
Sluggish idleness -- the nurse of sin.    -- Spenser
%%
Small change can often be found under seat cushions.
%%
  Small habits well pursued, betimes,
  May reach the dignity of crimes.
                                -- Hannah More
%%
Small opportunities are often the beginnings of great achievements.
%%
Smile! You're on Candid Cookie!
%%
Snowflakes are one of nature's most fragile things, but just look at
what they can do when they stick together.
%%
So much of what we call management consists in making it difficult for
people to work.
%%
So sure are you! Tried have you? Always with you it cannot be done. Hear
you nothing that I say? Try not. Do! Do! Or do not. There is no try.
                                -- Yoda
%%
So we grew together, like to a double cherry, seeming parted but yet a
union in partition, two lovely berries moulded on one stem; so, with two
seeming bodies, but one heart.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
Social Democracy rests on the assumption that it is desirable to
preserve the capitalist system of private enterprise, and that the evils
of this system can be sufficiently corrected by the democratic method of
procedure.
                                -- Carl Becker
%%
Social groups are generally in disarray.  To protect themselves from
other groups, especially the groups just below them, groups will attempt
to convey an appearance of interior order and purpose they do not
possess.
                                -- Arthur Herzog
%%
Social institutions will change only at the speed required to protect
them from attack -- slowly or fast to the degree required, but usually
slowly.  They will put off change as long as possible.
                                -- Arthur Herzog
%%
Social legislation cannot repeal physical laws.
                                -- Dalin B. Oaks
%%
Social values and habits dictate economic activity and not the other way
around.
                                -- Alexander Hamilton
%%
Socialism is bureaucracy of the people, by the people, and for the
people.
%%
Socialism is nothing but the capitalism of the lower classes.
                                -- Oswald Spengler
%%
Socialism is workable only in heaven where it isn't needed, and in hell
where they've got it.
                                -- Cecil Palmer
%%
Socialism works, but nowhere as efficiently as in the beehive and the
anthill.
%%
Society can only pursue its normal course by means of a certain
progression of changes.
                                -- John, Viscount Morley
%%
Society heaps honors on the unique, creative personality, but not until
he has been dead for fifty years.
                                -- Charles Merrill Smith
%%
Society is like a lawn, where every roughness is smoothed, every bramble
eradicated, and where the eye is delighted by the smiling verdure of a
velvet surface.  He, however, who would study nature in its wildness and
variety, must plunge into the forest, must explore the glen, must stem
the torrent, and dare the precipice.
                                -- Washington Irving
%%
Some are weatherwise, some are meteorologists.
                                -- Poor Jimmy's Almanac
%%
Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be
chewed and digested.
                                -- Bacon
%%
Some do, some don't.
%%
  Some hae meat that canna eat,
  And some would eat that want it;
  But we hae meat, and we can eat,
  Sae let the Lord be thankit.
                                -- Burns
%%
Some men are discovered; others are found out.
%%
Some men become proud and insolent because they ride a fine horse, wear
a feather in their hat or are dressed in a fine suit of clothes.  Who
does not see the folly of this?  If there be any glory in such things,
the glory belongs to the horse, the bird and the tailor.
                                -- St. Frances de Sales
%%
Some men put me in mind of half-bred horses, which often grow worse in
proportion as you feed and exercise them for improvement.
                                -- Greville
%%
Some of it plus the rest of it is all of it.
%%
Some people LOVE cats for what they are; others ARE cats for what they
love.
%%
Some people are quick to criticize cliches, but what is a cliche?  It is
a truth that has retained its validity through time.  Mankind would lose
half its hard-earned wisdom, built up patiently over the ages, if it
ever lost its cliches.
                                -- Marvin G. Gregory
%%
Some people who slap you on the back are trying to help you swallow what
they just told you.
%%
Some people will believe anything if it is whispered to them.
%%
Some performers on television appear to be horrible people, but when you
finally get to know them in person, they turn out to be even worse.
                                -- Avery
%%
  Some play for gain; to pass time others play
  For nothing; both play the fool I say:
  Nor time nor coin I'll lose, or idly spend;
  Who gets by play, proves loser in the end.
                                -- Heath
%%
Some rise by sin and some by virtue fall.
%%
Someone has compared Southern California to a granola cereal;  when you
take away the fruits and the nuts, all you have left are the flakes.
%%
Someone is speaking well of you.
%%
Someone is unenthusiastic about your work.
%%
Someone whom you reject today, will reject you tomorrow.
%%
Sometimes the best law of all is no law at all.  Not all the world's
ills are susceptible to legislative correction.
                                -- Pierre S. du Pont
%%
Sometimes the crowd is right.
%%
Sometimes, where a complex problem can be illuminated by many tools, one
can be forgiven for applying the one he knows best.
                                -- Robert Machol
%%
Sorrow seems sent for out instruction, as we darken the cages of birds
when we would teach them to sing.
                                -- Richter
%%
Sorry about that, Chief!
                                -- Maxwell Smart
%%
Soup is the essence of meat.
%%
  Sour discontent that quarrels with our fate
  May give fresh smart, but not the old abate;
  The uneasy passion's disingenuous wit,
  The ill reveals but hides the benefit.
                                -- Sir Richard Blackmore
%%
Southside Johnny prefers singing to sex.
%%
Space expands to house the people to perform the work that Congress
creates.
                                -- Haynes Johnson
%%
Spanish Civil War Communique:  Our troops advanced today without losing
a foot of ground.
%%
Speak little and well, if you would be esteemed as a man of merit.
                                -- Trench
%%
Speak softly and own a big, mean Doberman.
                                -- Dave Millman
%%
Speak the language of the country you are in; speak it purely, and
unlarded with any other.
                                -- Chesterfield
%%
Speaking generally, no man appears great to his contemporaries, for the
same reason that no man is great to his servants -- both know too much
of him.
                                -- Colton
%%
Speed bumps are of negligible effect when the vehicle exceeds triple the
desired restraining speed.
%%
Spirits of peace, where are ye? Are ye all gone? And leave me here in
wretchedness behind ye?
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
Spite is a little word, but it represents as strange a jumble of
feelings and compound of discords, as any polysyllable in the language.
                                -- Charles Dickens
%%
Sprinkle's Law:  Things fall at right angles.
%%
State: A state is a situation which can be recognized if it occurs
again.
%%
Statements by respected authorities which tend to agree with a writer's
viewpoint are always handy.
                                -- Amrom Katz
%%
Statistics are a highly logical and precise method for saying a
half-truth inaccurately.
%%
Stay in with the Outs (the Ins will make so many mistakes you can't
afford to alienate the Outs).
%%
Stock Market Axiom:  The public is always wrong.
%%
Stockbroker's Declaration:  The market will rally from this or lower
levels.
%%
Strong people always have strong weaknesses.
%%
Stability is more essential to success than brilliance.
                                -- Richard Lloyd Jones
%%
Standing on head makes smile of frown, but rest of face also upside
down.
%%
Start with what is right rather than what is acceptable.
%%
State capitalism is a contradiction in terms.
%%
Still waters run deep.
%%
Stockmayer's Theorem:  If it looks easy, it's tough.  If it looks tough,
it's damn near impossible.
%%
Stoicism is the wisdom of madness and cynicism the madness of wisdom.
                                -- Bergen Evans
%%
Stop searching forever. Happiness is just next to you.
%%
Stop searching forever. Happiness is unattainable.
%%
Strong reasons make strong actions.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
Student's snack -- cramberries            -- Raymond D. Love
%%
Students who obtain an A for a course will claim that the instructor is
a great teacher.
                                -- M. M. Johnston
%%
Success can be insured only by devising a defense against the
contingency plan.
                                -- Charles P. Boyle
%%
Success goes to your head, failure to your heart.
%%
Success in management -- at any level -- depends on the ability to pick
the right people for the right jobs.
%%
Success is being able to hire someone to mow the lawn while you play
golf for exercise.
%%
Success is doing what you like to do and making a living at it.
%%
Success is not a harbor but a voyage with its own perils to the spirit.
The game of life is to come up a winner, to be a success, or to achieve
what we set out to do. Yet there is always the danger of failing as a
human being. The lesson that most of us on this voyage never learn, but
can never quite forget, is that to win is sometimes to lose.
                                -- Richard M. Nixon
%%
Success is overrated. Incompetence is what we should revere -- it marks
us off from animals.
                                -- Stephen Pile
%%
Success is the result of behavior that completely contradicts the usual
expectations about the behavior of a successful person.
                                -- Felix R. Paturi
%%
Success makes us intolerant of failure, and failure makes us intolerant
of success.
                                -- William Feather
%%
Success provides more opportunities to say things than the number of
things a pundit has worth saying.
                                -- Douglas Pike
%%
Success seems to be that which forms the distinction between confidence
and conceit.  Nelson, when young was piqued at not being noticed in a
certain paragraph of the newspapers, which detailed an action wherein he
had assisted. "But never mind," said he, "I will one day have a gazette
of my own."
                                -- Colton
%%
  Such a house broke!
  So noble a master fallen!  All gone and not
  One friend to take his fortune by the arm
  And go along with him.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
Sufficient monies to the job correctly the first time are usually not
available; however, ample funds are much more easily obtained for
repeated major redesigns.
%%
Superstition renders a man a fool, and scepticism makes him mad.
                                -- Fielding
%%
Support organizations can always prove success by showing service to
someone ... not necessarily you.
                                -- Douglas Evelyn
%%
Surely happiness is reflective like the light of heaven; and every
countenance, bright with smiles and glowing with innocent enjoyment, is
a mirror, transmitting to others the rays of a supreme and evershining
benevolence.
                                -- Washington Irving
%%
Surely there is something in the unruffled calm of nature that overawes
our little anxieties and doubts:  The sight of the deep-blue sky, and
the clustering stars above, seems to impart a quiet to the mind.
                                -- Edwards
%%
Survey taker to resident:  Do you realize that that choice puts you in
the two- percent lunatic fringe?
                                -- Bernhardt
%%
Swap read error.  You lose your mind.
%%
  Sweet are the uses of adversity,
  Which like the toad, ugly and venomous,
  Wears yet a precious jewel in his head;
  And this our life, exempt from public haunt,
  Find tongues in trees, books in the running brooks,
  And good in everything.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
  Sweet is the hour of rest,
  Pleasant the wind's low sigh,
  And the gleaming of the west,
  And the turf whereon we lie.
                                -- Mrs. Hemans
%%
Sweet speaking oft a currish heart reclaims.
                                -- Sidney
%%
Symington's Law: For every credibility gap there is a gullibility gap.
%%
Systems display antics.
                                -- Dr. John Gall
%%
Systems in general work very poorly or not at all.
                                -- Dr. John Gall
%%
Systems tend to grow, and as they grow, they encroach.
                                -- Dr. John Gall
%%
TANK:  A means of transportation the Soviet army uses to visit its
friends.
%%
  The programmers' cheer:
    Shift to the Left,
    Shift to the Right,
    Pop Up, Push Down,
    Byte! Byte! Byte!
%%
The maxim that "Honesty is the best policy" is one which, perhaps, no
one is ever habitually guided by in practice.  An honest man is always
before it, and a knave is generally behind it.
                                -- Whately
%%
The news of the day, no matter how trivial or unimportant, always takes
up more time than a married man has.
                                -- Ray O'Neil
%%
The people of Rome have always destroyed their greatest sons.
                                -- Benito Mussolini
%%
TINSTAFL!
                                -- There is no such thing as free love.
                                -- Solomon Short
%%
Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.
%%
Take any religious mystery, any theological proposition:  expressed in
ordinary terms it will read like sheer nonsense to the outsider, from
the ritualistic, symbolic eating of human flesh and blood practiced by
all the Christian sects to the outright cannibalism practiced by some
savages.
                                -- Major Whitey Ardmore
%%
Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of
themselves.
                                -- Lazarus Long
%%
Take care to be an economist in prosperity; there is no fear of your not
being one in adversity.
                                -- Zimmerman
%%
Take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgement.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
Take rather than give the tone to the company you are in.  If you gave
parts you will show them more or less upon every subject; and if you
have not, you had better talk sillily upon a subject of other people's
than of your own choosing.
                                -- Chesterfield
%%
Take thy correction mildly.  Kiss the rod.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
Taken as a whole, the universe is absurd.
                                -- Walter Savage Landor
%%
Talent in staff work or sales will recurringly be interpreted as
managerial ability.
                                -- Charles P. Boyle
%%
Talent is what you possess; genius is what possesses you.
%%
Talent, lying in the understanding, is often inherent; genius, being the
action of reason and imagination, rarely or never.
                                -- Coleridge
%%
Talk not of comfort, 'tis for lighter ills; I will indulge my sorrows,
and give way to all the pangs and fury of despair.
                                -- Addison
%%
Talk of revolution is one way of avoiding reality.
                                -- John Kenneth Galbraith
%%
Talk of the devil, and his horns appear.
%%
Talkers are no good doers.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
Talking is a digestive process which is absolutely essential to the
mental constitution of the man who devours many books.  A full mind must
have talk, or it will grow dyspeptic.
                                -- William Matthews
%%
Tanstaafl!!!
%%
Taxes are going up so fast, the government is likely to price itself out
of the market.
%%
Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.
%%
Tea! thou soft, thou sober sage, and venerable liquid; -- thou female
tongue- running, smile-smoothing, heart-opening, wink tippling cordial,
to whose glorious insipidity I owe the happiest moments of ny life, let
me fall prostrate!
                                -- Colley Cibber
%%
Ten thousand years from now, the only story this civilization will tell
will be in its junk piles -- so observe what is important!
                                -- Richard N. Farmer
%%
Ten years of experience should add up to more than one year's experience
multiplied by ten.
%%
Tennyson is a beautiful half of a poet.
                                -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Testimony is like an arrow shot from a long bow; the force of it depends
on the strength of the hand that draws it.  Argument is like an arrow
from a cross- bow, which has equal force though shot by a child.
                                -- Bacon
%%
That inexhaustible good nature, which is itself the most precious gift
of Heaven, spreading itself like oil over the troubled sea of thought,
and keeping the mind smooth and equable in the roughest weather.
                                -- Irving
%%
That is utterly preposterous.
%%
That life is long which answers life's great end.
                                -- Young
%%
That must be wonderful!  I don't understand it at all.
%%
That only with propriety be styled refinement which, by strengthening
the intellect, purifies the manners.
                                -- Coleridge
%%
That politics has a bearing on business confidence is unproven.
                                -- Mark Epernay
%%
That segment of the community with which one has the greatest sympathy
as a liberal inevitably turns out to be one of the most narrow-minded
and bigoted segments of the community.
                                -- Marion J. Levy, Jr.
%%
That tendency to err that programmers have been noticed to share with
other human beings has often been treated as if it were an awkwardness
attendant upon programming's adolescence, which like acne would
disappear with the craft's coming of age.  It has proved otherwise.
                                -- Mark Halpren
%%
That the birds of worry and care fly above your head, this you cannot
change, but that they build nests in your hair, this you can prevent.
%%
That truth cannot be material in any respect, is contrary to the nature
of things.  No tribunal, no codes, no systems can repeal or impair this
law of God, for by his eternal laws it is inherent in the nature of
things ... It is evident that if you cannot apply this mitigated
doctrine for which I speak ... you must for ever remain ignorant of what
your rulers do.  I can never think this ought to be; I never did think
the truth was a crime; I am glad the day is come in which it is to be
decided; for my soul has ever abhorred the thought, that a free man
dared not speak the truth.
                                -- Alexander Hamilton
%%
That which has not been taught directly can never be taught directly.
%%
That which is good to be done, cannot be done too soon; and if it is
neglected to be done early, it will frequently happen that it will not
be done at all.
                                -- Bishop Mant
%%
That which seems the height of absurdity in one generation often becomes
the height of wisdom in another.
                                -- Adlai Stevenson
%%
That which we acquire with the most difficulty we retain the longest; as
those who have earned a fortune are usually more careful with it than
those who have inherited one.
                                -- Colton
%%
That which we call sin in others is experiment for us.
                                -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
That's a valiant flea that dares eat his breakfast on the lip of a lion.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
That's not writing, that's typing!
                                -- Truman Capote
%%
That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.
                                -- Neil Armstrong
%%
That's one thing about these babies.  They never learned to read.
                                -- Joe Patroni
%%
That's only true because it's true.
%%
That's the trouble with this country.  The whole place is filled with
penniless patriots.
                                -- Rosa Bombolini
%%
That, Sir, is the good of counting.  It brings everything to a
certainty, which before floated in the mind indefinitely.
                                -- Samuel Johnson
%%
The "think positive" leader tends to listen to his subordinates'
premonitions only during the postmortems.
                                -- Charles P. Boyle
%%
The 20/80 Law:  20 percent of the customers account for 80 percent of
the turnover, 20 percent of the components account for 80 percent of the
cost, and so forth.
                                -- Vilfredo Pareto
%%
The Advertising Agency Song:
 
  When your client's hopping mad,
  Put his picture in the ad.
  If he still should prove refractory,
  Add a picture of his factory.
%%
The American Republic and American business are Siamese twins; they came
out of the same womb at the same time; they are born in the same
principles, and when American business dies, the American republic will
die, and when the American Republic dies, American business will die.
                                -- Josiah W. Bailey
%%
The American people aren't interested in details.
                                -- Lyn Nofziger
%%
  The Android greets his friends politely
    And veils behind his lowered lids
  The jealousy which plagues him nightly
    Because he can't have sex, or kids.
%%
The Banana Principle: Heuristic devices don't tell you when to stop.
%%
The Beat-Inflation garden we planted so enthusiastically just two months
ago is to be rededicated as an ecological exhibit.  It illustrates zero
growth.
%%
The Bougourre Factor changes the equation to fit the Universe.
%%
The Brain-Eye Law: To a certain extent, observational power can
compensate for mental weakness.
%%
The Communist system must be based on the will of the people, and if the
people should not want that system, then that people should establish a
different system.
                                -- Nikita S. Krushchev
%%
The Constitution ... speaks of liberty and prohibits the deprivation of
liberty without due process of law.  In prohibiting that deprivation the
Constitution does not recognize an absolute and uncontrollable liberty.
                                -- Chief Justice Charles Evans Hughes
%%
The Diddle factor changes things so that the equation and the universe
appear to fit, without requiring any real change in either.  This has
the characteristic of eliminating differences by dropping the subject
under discussion to zero importance.
%%
The Eighth Commandment of Frisbee:  In any crowd of spectators at least
one will suggest that razor blades could be attached to the disc.  ("You
could maim and kill with that thing.")       -- Dan Roddick
%%
The English laws punish vice; the Chinese laws do more, they reward
virtue.
                                -- Oliver Goldsmith
%%
The Eye-Brain Law: To a certain extent, mental power can compensate for
observational weakness.
%%
The Fifth Commandment of Frisbee:  The best catches are never seen.
("Did you see that?"
                        -- "See what?")               -- Dan Roddick
%%
The Finagle Factor is characterized by changing the universe to fit the
equation.
%%
The First Commandment of Frisbee:  The most powerful force in the world
is that of a disc straining to land under a car, just beyond reach.
This force is technically called "car suck".
                                -- Dan Roddick
%%
The First Law of Bicycling:  No matter which way you ride, it's uphill
and against the wind.
%%
The Fourth Commandment of Frisbee:  The higher the costs of hitting any
object, the greater the certainty it will be struck.  (Remember -- the
disc is positive -- both cops and old ladies are clearly negative).
                                -- Dan Roddick
%%
The Generalized Thermodynamic Law (Systems Theory): More probable states
are more likely to be observed than less probable states, unless
specific constraints exist to keep them from occurring.
%%
The Generalized Thermodynamic Law (Systems Theory): The things we see
more frequently are more frequent: (1) because there is some physical
reason to favor certain states or (2) because there is some mental
reason.
%%
The How Come It All Landed On Me Law:  Whatever hits the fan will not be
evenly distributed.
%%
  The Jovian invaders sort a
    Bunch of captives in the nude:
  These for breeding, those for slaughter,
    And the fattest ones for food.
%%
The Law Conservation of Anergy:  The total amount of energy in the
universe is constant.
                                -- Dr. John Gall
%%
The Law of Fashion:
  The same dress is:
        indecent 10 years before its time
        daring 1 year before its time
        chic in its time
        dowdy 3 years after its time
        hideous 20 years after its time
        amusing 30 years after its time
        romantic 100 years after its time
        beautiful 150 years after its time
                                -- James Laver
%%
The Law of Happy Particularities: Any general system law will have at
least two particular applications.
                                -- Gerald Weinberg
%%
The Law of Medium Numbers: For medium number systems, we can expect that
large fluctuations, irregularities, and discrepancy with any theory will
occur more or less regularly. (This is more succinctly expressed by
Murphy: Anything that can happen, will happen.)
%%
The Law of Raspberry Jam:  The wider any culture is spread, the thinner
it gets.
                                -- Stanley Edgar Hyman
%%
The Law of Unhappy Peculiarities: Any general system law will have at
least two peculiar exceptions.
                                -- Gerald Weinberg
%%
The Law of the Too, Too Solid Point:  In any collection of data, the
figure that is most obviously correct -- beyond all need of checking --
is the mistake.
%%
The Lord giveth, Uncle Sam taketh away.
%%
  The Lord made grass,
  Man made booze;
  Who CAN you trust?
 
[Actually, ethanol is a natural product -- generated normally by the
human body.]
%%
The Lump Law: If we want to learn anything, we mustn't try to learn
everything.
%%
The Ninth Commandment of Frisbee:  The greater your need to make a good
catch, the greater the probability your partner will deliver his worst
throw.  (If you can't touch it, you can't trick it.)
                                -- Dan Roddick
%%
The Principle of Indifference: Laws should not depend on a particular
choice of notation.
%%
The Right Honorable Gentleman is indebted to his memory for his jests
and to his imagination for his facts.
                                -- Sheridan
%%
The Rockettes are so perfect you'd think they were Xeroxed.
                                -- Irene Peter
%%
The Russian dictatorship of the proletariat has made a a farce of the
whole Marxist vision: developing a powerful, privileged ruling class to
prepare for a classless society, setting up the most despotic state in
history so that the state may wither away, establishing by force a
colonial empire to combat imperialism and unify the workers of the
world.
                                -- Herbert J. Muller
%%
The Second Commandment of Frisbee:  The higher the quality of a catch or
the comment it receives, the greater the probability of a crummy throw.
(Good catch = bad throw.)                    -- Dan Roddick
%%
The Second Order Rule of Bureaucracy:  The more directives you issue to
solve a problem, the worse it gets.
                                -- Jack Robertson
%%
The Seventh Commandment of Frisbee:  The most powerful hex words in the
sport are -- "I really have this down -- watch."  (Know it?  Blow it!)
                                -- Dan Roddick
%%
The Sixth Commandment of Frisbee:  The greatest single aid to distance
is for the disc to be going in a direction you did not want.  (Goes the
wrong way = Goes a long way.)                      -- Dan Roddick
%%
The Supreme court says three may keep a secret, it two of them used to
work for the CIA.
                                -- Poor Jimmy's Almanac
%%
The Tenth Commandment of Frisbee:  The single most difficult move with a
disc is to put it down.  (Just one more.)   -- Dan Roddick
%%
The Third Commandment of Frisbee:  One must never precede any maneuver
by a comment more predictive than, "Watch this!"  (Keep 'em guessing.)
                                -- Dan Roddick
%%
  The Yeti, whom we know of only
    By the tracks he leaves behind,
  Hunts the mountains, sad and lonely,
    For a mate to breed his kind.
%%
The ability of our people to deceive themselves is the highest art of
the nation.
%%
The absent are always in the wrong.
%%
The absent are like children, helpless to defend themselves.
                                -- Charles REade
%%
The absent are never without fault.  Nor the present without excuse.
                                -- Benjamin Franklin
%%
The accessibility, during recovery, of small parts which fall from the
work bench, varies directly with the size of the part -- and inversely
with its importance to the completion of the work underway.
%%
The actions of men are the best interpreters of their thoughts.
                                -- John Locke
%%
The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise
the wealth which it prevents you from achieving.
                                -- Russell Green
%%
The age of innocent faith in science and technology may be over ...
every major advance in the technological competence of man has enforced
revolutionary changes in the economic and political structure of
society.
                                -- Barry Commoner
%%
The aim of education is the knowledge not of fact, but of values.
                                -- Dean William R. Inge
%%
The alternative to the totalitarian state is the cooperative
commonwealth.
                                -- Norman Thomas
%%
The amount of effort put into a campaign by a worker expands in
proportion to the personal benefits that he will derive from his party's
victory.
                                -- Milton Rakove
%%
The amount of flak on any subject is inversely proportional to the
subject's true value.
%%
The amount of junk carried is in direct proportion to the amount of
space available.
                                -- Tony Hogg
%%
The amount of litter in the street is proportional to the local rate of
unemployment.
                                -- David Lloyd-Jones
%%
The amount of pleasure derived from a cigarette is directly proportional
to the number of the non-smokers in the vicinity.
                                -- Raj K. Dhawan
%%
The amount of quaint, authentic, rustic charm varies inversely with the
pounds per square inch of water pressure in the shower.  High charm, low
pressure.
                                -- Frank Mankiewicz
%%
The amount of research devoted to a topic in human behavior is inversely
proportional to its importance and interest.
                                -- Bernard I. Murstein
%%
The amount of success is in inverse proportion to the effort in
attaining success.
                                -- Felix R. Paturi
%%
The amount of time you have to wait for a bus is directly proportional
to the inclemency of the weather.
                                -- John Corcoran
%%
The amount of trash accumulated within the space occupied is
exponentially proportional to the number of living bodies that enter and
leave within any given amount of time.
%%
The analogy to athletics must be pressed until all recognize that in the
exercise of intellect those who lack the muscles, coordination, and will
power can claim no place at the training table, let alone on the playing
field.
                                -- Jacques Barzun
%%