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From: "Martin Minow, ML3-5/U26  14-May-1990 0944" <minow@bolt.enet.dec.com>
Subject: cookie.004
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He who has burned his mouth blows his soup.
%%
He who has health has hope, and he who has hope has everything.
%%
He who has imagination without learning has wings but no feet.
%%
He who has no mind to trade with the devil, should be so wise as to keep
from his shop.
                                -- South
%%
He who has not a good memory, should never take upon him the trade of
lying.
                                -- Montaigne
%%
He who hates vices hates mankind.
%%
He who hath many friends hath none.
                                -- Aristotle
%%
He who hesitates is poor.
                                -- Max Bialystock
%%
He who invents adages for others to peruse takes along rowboat when
going on cruise.
%%
He who is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.
%%
He who is most slow in making a promise, is the most faithful in the
performance of it.
                                -- Rousseau
%%
He who laughs last probably doesn't understand the joke.
%%
He who lives by the crystal ball soon learns to eat ground glass.
                                -- Edgar R. Fiedler
%%
He who possesses art and science has religion; he who does not possess
them, needs religion.
                                -- Goethe
%%
He who receives a good turn should never forget it; he who does one
should never remember it.
                                -- Charron
%%
He who reforms himself, has done more towards reforming the public, than
a crowd of noisy, impotent patriots.
                                -- Lavater
%%
He who reigns within himself, and rules passions, desires and fears, is
more than a king.
                                -- Milton
%%
He who sedulously attends, pointedly asks, calmly speaks, cooly answers,
and ceases when he has no more to say, is in possession of some of the
best requisites of man.
                                -- Lavater.
%%
He who sees only half the problem will be buried in the other half.
                                -- Richard N. Farmer
%%
He who sees what comes out, and why, gains wisdom.
                                -- Richard N. Farmer
%%
He who shouts loudest has the floor.
%%
He who steals for others ends up being hanged for himself.
%%
He who tells a lie is not sensible how great a task he undertakes; for
he must be forced to invent twenty more to maintain that one.
                                -- Alexander Pope
%%
He who when called upon to speak a disagreeable truth, tells it boldly
and has done, is both bolder and milder than he who nibbles in a low
voice and never ceases nibbling.
                                -- Lavater
%%
He who will not reason, is a bigot; he who cannot, is a fool; and he who
dares not, is a slave.
                                -- Byron
%%
He whose pride oppresses the humble may, perhaps, be humbled, but will
never be humble.
                                -- Lavater
%%
He writes his plays for the ages -- the ages between five and twelve.
                                -- George jean Nathan
%%
He's a man out there in the blue, ridin' on a smile and a shoeshine ...
a salesman has got to dream, boys.
                                -- Arthur Miller
%%
Hear one side, and you will be in the dark; Hear both sides, and all
will be in the clear.
                                -- Haliburton
%%
Heat produced by pressure expands to fill the mind available, from which
it can pass only to a cooler mind.
                                -- C. Northcote Parkinson
%%
  Heaven from all creatures hides the book of fate,
  All but the page prescribed, their present fate.
                                -- Alexander Pope
%%
Heaven is above all yet; there sits a judge that no king can corrupt.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
Heaven lies about us in our infancy.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
Heaven needs no press agent because it has no competition, but sin is
competitive.
%%
Heaven's gates ate not so highly arch'd as princes' palaces; they that
enter there must go upon their knees.
                                -- Webster
%%
Heaven -- it is God's throne.  The earth -- it is His footstool.
                                -- Matthew V, 34
%%
Hell hath no fury like a computer scorned.
%%
Hell hath no fury like a pacifist.
                                -- Solomon Short
%%
Hell is a place where the motorists are French, the policemen are
German, the traffic patterns are Bostonian, and the cooks are English.
%%
Hell is not to love anymore.
                                -- Georges Bernanos
%%
Hell is truth seen too late.
                                -- H. G. Adams
%%
Help wanted -- must be kindergarten graduate.
%%
Help yourself, and Heaven will help you.
                                -- La Fontaine
%%
Helping one another with simple chores, watching over each others homes,
sharing needs like food and firewood, simple fellowship. These things
make for true community spirit.
                                -- Conrad Meinecke
%%
Henry James had a mind so fine that no idea could violate it.
                                -- T. S. Eliot
%%
Henry James was one of the nicest old ladies I every met.
                                -- William Faulkner
%%
  Her face was like an April morn,
  Clad in a wint'ry cloud;
  And clay-cold was her lily hand,
  That held her sable shroud.
                                -- Mallet
%%
Her lips are roses overwashed with dew.
                                -- Greene
%%
Her tears her only eloquence.
                                -- Rogers
%%
Here comes the orator, with his flood of words and his drop of reason.
%%
Here is the beginning of philosophy: a recognition of the conflicts
between men, a search for their cause, a condemnation of mere
opinion ... and the discovery of a standard of judgement.
                                -- Epictetus
%%
Hereafter I'll be able to understand everything, taking all on trust.
                                -- Tristan Corbiere
%%
Herman's Rule:  If it works right the first time, obviously you've done
something wrong.
%%
Heroism -- the divine relation which in all times unites a great men to
other men.
                                -- Carlyle
%%
Hey! Respect your elders.  Call me Mr. Old Fart.
                                -- Dick Vignoni
%%
Highways in worst need of repair naturally have low traffic counts,
which results in low priority for repair work.
%%
  His back against a rock he bore.
  And firmly placed his foot before;
  "Come one, come all!  This rock shall fly
  From its firm base as soon as I."
                                -- Scott
%%
His eye was blue and calm, as is the sky in the serenest noon.
                                -- Willis
%%
His eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming.
                                -- Edgar Allen Poe
%%
  His face was of the doubtful kind;
  That wins the eye and not the mind.
                                -- Scott
%%
His heart was yours from the first moment that you met.
%%
His imagination resembles the wings of an ostrich.
                                -- Thomas Babington Macaulay
%%
His life was formal; his actions seemed ruled with a ruler.
%%
His style has the desperate jauntiness of a orchestra fiddling away for
dear life on a sinking ship.
                                -- Edmund Wilson
%%
His zeal was hollow; his sermons were like students' songs imperfectly
recalled by a senile don.
                                -- John Rae
%%
History books which contain no lies are extremely dull.
%%
History does not record anywhere, at any time, a religion that has any
rational basis. Religion is a crutch for people not strong enough to
face the unknown without help. But like dandruff, most people do have a
religion and spend time and money on it and seem to derive considerable
pleasure from fiddling with it.
                                -- Lazarus Long
%%
History makes men wise; poets, witty; the mathematics, subtile; natural
philosophy, deep; moral, grave; logic and rhetoric able to contend.
                                -- Bacon
%%
History proves nothing.
                                -- Bill Gray
%%
History repeats itself.  That's one of the things wrong with history.
                                -- Clarence Darrow
%%
History shows that money will multiply in volume and divide in value
over the long run.  Or expressed differently, the purchasing power of
currency will vary inversely with the magnitude of the public debt.
                                -- William H. Peterson
%%
Hollywood's Iron Law:  Nothing succeeds like failure.
%%
Honesty coupled to beauty is to have honey a sauce to sugar.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
Honor and shame from no condition rise; Act well your part; there all
the honesty lies.
                                -- Alexander Pope
%%
Honor's a good brooch to wear in a man's hat at all times.
                                -- Johnson
%%
Honor's a thing too subtle for wisdom; if honor lie in eating, he's
right honorable.
                                -- Beaumont and Fletcher
%%
Hope for a miracle only after everything else has failed.
%%
Hope is a flatterer, but the most upright of parasites; for she
frequents the poor man's hut, as well as the palace of his superior.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
Hope is like the cork to the net, which keeps the soul from sinking in
despair; and fear is like the lead to the net, which keeps it from
floating in presumption.
                                -- Watson
%%
Hope is the fawning traitor of the mind, which, while it cozens with a
color'd friendship robs us of our best virtue -- resolution.
                                -- Lee
%%
  Hope springs eternal in the human breast,
  Man never is, but always to be blest.
                                -- Alexander Pope
%%
Hope, of all passions, most befriends us here.
                                -- Young
%%
Hospitality to the better sort, and charity to the poor; two virtues
that are never exercised so well as when they accompany each other.
                                -- Atterbury
%%
How blest is he who crowns, in shades like these, A youth of labor with
an age of ease.
                                -- Oliver Goldsmith
%%
How calmly may we commit ourselves to the hands of Him who bears up the
world -- of Him who has created, and who provides for the joy even of
insects, as carefully as if He were their Father!
                                -- Richter
%%
How can I miss you if you won't go away?
%%
How difficult it is to save the bark of reputation from the rocks of
ignorance.
                                -- Petrarch
%%
How do you accomplish anything at all when the city treasury is so bare
that the addition of one coin will double its contents?
%%
How do you spot a leader?  They come in all ages, shapes and
conditions.  Some are poor administrators, some are not overly bright.
One clue:  the true leader can be recognized because somehow his people
consistently turn in superior performances.
                                -- Robert Townsend
%%
How do you tell the difference between an electrical fire and a chemical
fire? You use a fire distinguisher, of course.
                                -- Dave Ascher
%%
How do you uncover greatness in a city so poor that a man will provoke
another man into an argument just so that his donkey can be eating the
other man's grass while they argue?
%%
How does a leader give proof of prowess in a place where a man was
observed to stand all of one morning waiting for a pear on a private
tree to be blown off by a wind into the street, thereby becoming public
property?
%%
How does one conduct great enterprises in a city where people trail oxen
with a broom and pan in hopes of getting a frees surprise?
%%
How far high failure overleaps the bounds of low success.
                                -- Lewis Morris
%%
How gaily a man wakes in the morning to watch himself keep on dying.
                                -- Henry S. Haskins
%%
How immense appear to us the sins that we have not committed.
%%
How many "coming men" has one known!  Where on earth do they all go to?
%%
How many New Yorkers does it take to change a light bulb?  Three.  One
to change the bulb, one to tell him how to do it, and one to tell him
he's doing it all wrong.
                                -- Dave Ascher
%%
  How many cowards, whose hearts are all false
  As stairs of sand, wear yet upon their chins
  The beards of Hercules, and frowning Mars;
  Who inward search'd have livers white as milk?
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
How many people live on the reputation of the reputation they might have
made!
                                -- Holmes
%%
How much better it is to weep at joy than joy a weeping.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
How much do you think I'll get for my autobiography?
                                -- Arthur Bremer
(After his arrest for attempting to assassinate Governor George C.
Wallace.)
%%
How much lies in laughter; the cipher-key wherewith we decipher the
whole man! Some men wear an everlasting barren simper; in the smile of
others lies the cold glitter, as of ice; the fewest are able to laugh
what can be called laughing, but only shiff and titter and sniggle from
the throat ourwards, or at least produce some whiffing, husky
cachinnation, as if they were laughing through wool; of none such comes
good.  The man who cannot laugh is only fit for treasons, stratagems and
spoils; but his own whole life is already a treason and a stratagem.
                                -- Carlyle
%%
How sharper than a hound's tooth it is to have a thankless serpent.
%%
How sharper then a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
How slow this old moon wanes!  she lingers my desires, like to a
stepdame, or a dowager, long withering out a young man's revenue.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
  How still the evening is
  As hush'd on purpose to grace harmony!
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
  How swiftly whirls the disk;
  Data leaps to the floating head
    And is known.
%%
How you look depends on where you go.
%%
However deceitful hope may be, yet she carries us on pleasently to the
end of life.
                                -- La Rochefoucauld
%%
Human industry, if left to itself, will naturally find its way to the
most useful and profitable employment.
                                -- Adam Smith
%%
Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
%%
Humility is a virtue all preach, none practice, and yet everybody is
content to hear.  The master thinks it good doctrine for his servant,
the laity for the clergy, and the clergy for the laity.
                                -- Selden
%%
Humility is the better part of wisdom, and is most becoming in man.  But
let no one disparage self-reliance; it is, of all the rest, the greatest
quality of true manliness.
                                -- Ferenc Kossuth
%%
Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority
to all that befalls him.
                                -- Romain Gary
%%
Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it.
                                -- Langston Hughes
%%
Humor is the sense of the Absurd, which is despair refusing to take
itself seriously.
                                -- Arland Ussher
%%
Hunger is the best sauce.
%%
Hunger is the best seasoning for meat, and thirst for drink.
                                -- Cicero
%%
Hypocracy is the homage which vice pays to virtue.
                                -- La Rochefoucauld
%%
Hypocrites do the devil's drudgery in Christ's livery.
                                -- Matthew Henry
%%
Hypotheses multiply so as to fill the gaps in factual knowledge
concerning biological phenomena.
                                -- James D. Regan
%%
I admire the person in charge of this organization. He is an artist at
saying nothing out of both sides of his face.
%%
I am a firm believer in socialism and I know that the quicker you have
monopoly in this country the quicker you will have socialism.
                                -- Charles P. Steinmetz
%%
I am a man; nothing human is alien to me.
%%
I am against all hobbies.  I have been against them ever since I figured
out that  nothing I ever do is considered a hobby.  All my life I have
had to fill out  forms that ask about hobbies.  I always wanted to write
down "reading", but  reading is not a hobby.  If you collect books, that
is a hobby.  If you actually read them, it is not.  If you happen to
watch a butterfly in a field, that is not a hobby.  If you put a pin
through its little heart, that is a hobby.
                                -- Richard Cohen
%%
I am but a gatherer, and a disposer of other men's stuff.
                                -- Watton
%%
I am grateful for all my problems.  As each of them was overcome I
became stronger and more able to meet those yet to come.  I grew on all
my difficulties.
                                -- J. C. Penney
%%
I am never less at leisure than when at leisure, nor less alone than
when I am alone.
                                -- Scipio Africanus
%%
I am not a committee!
                                -- Princess Leia Organa
%%
I am not a crook.
                                -- Richard M. Nixon
%%
I am not senile.
                                -- Ronald W. Reagan
%%
I am one who finds within me a nobility that spurns the idle pratings of
the great, and their mean boast of what their fathers were, while they
themselves are fools effeminate, the scorn of all who know the worth of
mind and virtue.
                                -- Percival
%%
I am reading Henry James ... and feel myself as one entombed in a block
of smooth amber.
                                -- Virginia Woolf
%%
I am so optimistic about beef prices that I've just leased a pot roast
with an option to buy.
%%
I believe in heaven and hell -- on earth.
                                -- Abraham L. Feinberg
%%
I believe in instinct, not in reason. When reason is right, nine times
out of ten it is impotent, and when it prevails, nine times out of ten
it is wrong.
                                -- A. C. Benson
%%
I believe that in actual fact, philosophy ranks before and above the
natural sciences.
                                -- Thomas Mann
%%
I call a complete and generous education that which fits a man to
perform justly, skillfully, and magnanimously all the offices, both
public and private, of peace and war.
                                -- John Milton
%%
I call them as I see them. If I can't see them, I make them up.
                                -- Biff Barf
%%
I can compare our rich misers to nothing so fitly as to a whale; that
plays and tumbles, driving the poor fry before him, and at last devours
them all at a mouthful.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
I can get no remedy against this consumption of the purse; borrowing
only lingers and lingers it out, but the disease is incurable.
%%
I can't give you brains, but I can give you a diploma.
                                -- The Wizard of Oz
%%
I can't help feeling a certain pride in the admiration of women. I
suspect that is one of my biggest failings.
                                -- Jose Torres
%%
I cannot draw a cart, nor eat wild oats; if it be a man's work I will do
it.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the
formula for failure -- which is: Try to please everybody.
                                -- Herbert Bayard Swope
%%
I claim not to have controlled events, but confess plainly that events
have controlled me.
                                -- Abraham Lincoln
%%
I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
%%
I consider your very testy and quarrelsome people in the same light as I
do a loaded gun, which may, by accident, go off and kill one.
                                -- Shenstone
%%
I could hold every man a debtor to his profession; from the which as men
of course do seek to receive countenance and profit, so ought they of
duty to endeavor themselves by way of amends to be a help and ornament
thereunto.
                                -- Bacon
%%
I could not love thee, dear, so much, loved I not honor more.
                                -- Richard Lovelace
%%
I could not say I believe. I know! I have had the experience of being
gripped by something that is stronger than myself, something that people
call God.
                                -- Carl Jung
%%
I could prove God statistically.
                                -- George Gallup
%%
I despise the pleasure of pleasing people whom I despise.
%%
I dip my pen in the blackest ink, because I am not afraid of falling
into my inkpot.
                                -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
I do not believe in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.
                                -- Thomas Carlyle
%%
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us
with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forego their use.
                                -- Galileo Galilei
%%
I do not know how it is with you, but for myself I generally give up at
the outset. The simplest problems which come up from day to day seem to
me quite unanswerable as soon as I try to get below the surface.
                                -- Justice Learned Hand
%%
I do not love a man who is zealous for nothing.
                                -- Oliver Goldsmith
%%
I don't care how poor and inefficient a country is; they like to run
their own business.  I know men that would make my wife a better husband
than I am; but, darn it, I'm not going to give her to 'em.
                                -- Will Rogers
%%
I don't even know what street Canada is on!
                                -- Al Capone
%%
I don't know what's wrong with people!  All I ask them to do is exactly
what I tell them.
%%
I don't know why it is that the religious never ascribe common sense to
God.
%%
I don't meet competition, I crush it.
                                -- Charles Revson
%%
I don't mind being pampered, but I will NOT be possessed!!!
%%
I don't remember ever having had the itch, and yet scratching is one of
nature's sweet pleasures, and so handy.
%%
I earn what I eat, get what I wear, owe no man hate, envy no man's
happiness, glad of other men's good, content with my harm.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
I fear explanations explanatory of things explained.
%%
I feel that the greatest reward for doing is the opportunity to do more.
                                -- Jonas Salk
%%
I find I always have to write something on a steamed mirror.
                                -- Elaine Dundy
%%
I gave her the ring; she gave me the finger.
%%
I gave my life to learning how to live. Now that I have organized it all
it's just about over.
                                -- Sandra Hochman
%%
I had been driving my car for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel
and had an accident.
%%
I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I
reached an intersection a hedge sprung up obscuring my vision. I did not
see the other car.
%%
I had rather a fool to make me merry, than experience to make me sad.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
I had to hit him, he was starting to make sense.
%%
I hardly know so true a mark of a little mind as the servile imitation
of another.
                                -- Greville
%%
I have a SPONGE that's drier behind the ears than you are!
%%
I have a feeling that at any time about three million Americans can be
had for any militant reaction against law, decency, the Constitution,
the Supreme Court, compassion and the rule of reason.
                                -- John Kenneth Galbraith
%%
I have a fine sense of ridiculous, but no sense of humor.
                                -- Edward Albee
%%
I have discovered the art of fooling diplomats: I speak the truth and
they never believe me.
                                -- Camillo Di Cavour
%%
I have ever held it as a maxim, never to do that through another, which
it was possible for me to execute myself.
                                -- Montesquieu
%%
I have learned this at least by my experiment: that if one advances
confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the
life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in
common hours.
                                -- Henry David Thoreau
%%
I have lived long enough to know what I did not at one time believe --
that no society can be upheld in happiness and honor without the
sentiment of religion.
                                -- Laplace
%%
I have never been able to understand why it is that just because I am
unintelligible nobody can understand me.
                                -- Milton Mayer
%%
I have somewhere seen it observed, that we should make the same use of a
book that the bee does of a flower:  she steals sweets from it, but does
not harm it.
                                -- Colton
%%
I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which, when looked
at in the right way, did not become still more complicated.
                                -- Poul Anderson
%%
I hold that man is in the right who is most closely in league with the
future.
                                -- Henrik Ibsen
%%
I hope when you know the worst you will at once leap into the river and
swim through handsomely, and not, weather-beaten by the divers blasts of
irresolution, stand shivering on the bank.
                                -- Suckling
%%
I hourly learn a doctrine of obedience.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
I just DON'T understand human behaviour.
                                -- C-3PO
%%
I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance.
                                -- Socrates
%%
I know who I am. Sometimes you go away, but I'm still here.
%%
I like blood.  It's a primary color.
%%
I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past.
                                -- Thomas Jefferson
%%
I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
%%
I loathe that low vice curiosity.
                                -- Lord Byron
%%
I may not always be right, but I'm never wrong.
                                -- Sam Goldwyn
%%
  I must go seek some dew-drops here,
  And hang a pearl in every cowslip's ear.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
I must have slipped a disk - my pack hurts.
%%
I never could believe that Providence had sent a few men into the world
ready booted and spurred to ride, and millions ready saddled and bridled
to be ridden.
                                -- Richard Rumbold, on the scaffold
%%
I never fail to convince an audience that the best thing they could do
was to go away.
%%
I never knew the old gentlemen with the scythe and hour-glass bring
anything but grey hairs, thin cheeks, and loss of teeth.
                                -- Dryden
%%
I never knew whether to pity or congratulate a man coming to his senses.
                                -- William Makepeace Thakeray
%%
  I never thought that inorganic
    Matter could attack a man.
  That's why I'm in such a panic --
    I've just seen proof it can!
%%
I never trust a man unless I've got his pecker in my pocket.
                                -- Lyndon B. Johnson
%%
I never wanted to see anybody die, but there are a few obituary notices
I have read with pleasure.
                                -- Clarence Darrow
%%
I never yet heard man or woman much abused that I was not inclined to
think the better of them, and to transfer the suspicion or dislike to
the one who found pleasure in pointing out the defects of another.
                                -- Jane Porter
%%
I noticed that some household columns suggest that people use elbow
grease for cleaning.  After a long and fruitless search, I still have
been unable to find this amazing product.  Could you tell me where to
buy it?
%%
I once had a dog who, like you, insisted on being cheerful in the
morning. I got rid of him by giving him to an immigrant Japanese family
-- and they ate him.
%%
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law,
and headed over the embankment.
%%
I question whether we can afford to teach mother macrame when Johnny
still can't read.
                                -- Governor Jerry Brown
%%
I reject get-it-done, make-it-happen thinking. I want to slow things
down so I understand them better.
                                -- Governor Jerry Brown
%%
I remember those happy days and often wish I could speak into the ears
of the dead the gratitude which was due to them in life and so
ill-returned.
                                -- Gwyn Thomas
%%
I see a good deal of talk from Washington about lowering taxes.  I hope
they do get 'em lowered enough so people can afford to pay 'em.
                                -- Will Rogers
%%
I see no wisdom in saving up indignation for a rainy day.
                                -- Heywood Broun
%%
I see that fashion wears out more apparel than the man.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
I see where we are starting to pay some attention to our neighbors to
the south.  We could never understand why Mexico wasn't just crazy about
us; for we have always had their good will, and oil and minerals, at
heart.
                                -- Will Rogers
%%
I shall never ask, never refuse, never resign nor ever not run for
re-election.
                                -- Poor Jimmy's Almanac
%%
I thought my window was down, but found out it was up when I put my hand
through it.
%%
I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat I found
that I had a skull fracture.
%%
I trust MY judgement. I'm not sure about yours.
%%
I understand a fury in your words, but not your words.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
I was five years old before I realized there was no such thing as ALPO
baby food.
                                -- Rodney Dangerfield
%%
I was going to include an ethnic slur in here, but I couldn't figure out
how to get you into this file.
%%
I was on my way to the doctor with rear-end trouble when my universal
joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
%%
I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle.
The driver and passengers then left for a vacation with injuries.
%%
I went to the race track once and bet on a horse that was so good that
it took seven others to beat him!
%%
I will aggravate my voice so, that I will roar you as gently as any
suckling dove; I will roar you an 'twere any nightingale.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
I will fight it out at this line if it takes all summer.
                                -- General Ulysses S. Grant
%%
I will never lie to you.
                                -- James E. Carter
%%
I will not be as those who spend the day in complaining of the
head-ache, and the night in drinking the wine that gives the headache.
                                -- Goethe
%%
I will not quarrel with a slight mistake, such as our nature's frailty
may excuse.
                                -- Roscommon
%%
I will roar, that it will do any man's heart good to hear me.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
I would call the Democratic Left in Latin America the group which
secures social advances for all the people in a framework of freedom and
consent.
                                -- Luis Munoz Marin
%%
I would rather dwell in the dim fog of superstition than in air rarified
to nothing by the pump of unbelief; in which the panting breast expires,
vainly and convulsively gasping for breath.
                                -- Richter
%%
I would suggest the taxation of all property equally whether church or
corporation.
%%
I write long epigrams, you write nothing.  Yours are shorter.
                                -- Martial
%%
I'd rather go whoring than warring.
                                -- Bill Gray
%%
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
%%
  I'll pick up my papers,
    and smile at the sky.
  I know that the hypnotized
    never lie.
%%
I'll speak to it through hell itself should gape, and bid me hold my
peace.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
I'm already number 1! Why try harder?
%%
I'm always easy. I'm NEVER cheap!!!
                                -- Dick Munroe
%%
I'm going to get you for this, Croll!
                                -- John Holz
%%
I'm no one's trophy!!!
                                -- Constance Barr
%%
I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
                                -- Woody Allen
%%
I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is --
I could be just as proud for half the money.
                                -- Arthur Godfrey
%%
I've finally figured out why airports make you walk so far out to get to
your plane.  It's their way of giving your luggage a head start.
%%
I've found my niche.  If you're wondering why I'm not there, there was
this little hole in the bottom ...
                                -- John Croll
%%
I've given up reading books; I find it takes my mind off myself.
%%
I've got tears in my ears from lying on my back in my bed crying over
you.
%%
  I've heard old cunning stagers
  Say fools for arguments use wagers.
                                -- Butler
%%
I've never been poor, only broke.  Being poor is a frame of mind.
                                -- Mike Todd
%%
I've never known an instance in the history of our company where an
executive unloaded responsibilities and duties on one lower in the
ranks, that he did not find himself immediately loaded from above with
greater responsibility.
                                -- Arthur F. Hall
%%
I've seen better heads on half a pint of beer.
%%
I've spent a fortune on my kids' education, and a fortune on their
teeth. The difference is, they use their teeth.
                                -- Robert Orben
%%
I've steered clear of God. He was an incredible sadist.
%%
  I've touch'd the highest point of all my greatness;
  And from that full meridian of my glory
  I haste now to my setting.  I shall fall,
  Like a bright exhalation in the evening
  And no man see me more.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
IMPIETY: Your irreverence toward my deity.
                                -- Ambrose Bierce
%%
IT'S HERE AT LAST: rush job; nobody knew it was coming
%%
Ideal goals grow faster than the means of attaining new goals allow.
                                -- Mallory Wober
%%
Idleness and pride tax with a heavier hand than kings and parliaments,
which is why we need a productivity rebate.
                                -- Poor Jimmy's Almanac
%%
Idleness is the holiday of fools.
%%
Idleness travels very slowly, and poverty soon overtakes her.
                                -- Hunter
%%
If "everybody knows" such and such, then it ain't so, by at least ten
thousand to one.
%%
If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z.  X is work.  Y
is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.
                                -- Albert Einstein
%%
If Europe should ever be ruined, it will be by its warriors.
                                -- Montesquieu
%%
If God shuts one door, he opens another.
%%
If God wanted us to be brave, why did he give us legs?
                                -- Marvin Kitman
%%
If I can catch him once upon the hip I will feed fat the ancient grudge
I bear him.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive!
                                -- Samuel Goldwyn
%%
If I don't know your name, how am I supposed to tell my diary about you?
%%
If I don't see you in the future, I'll see you in the pasture.
%%
If I have been able to see farther than others, it was because I stood
on the shoulders of giants.
                                -- Sir Isaac Newton
%%
If I may venture my own definition of a folk song, I should call it "an
individual flowering on a common stem."
                                -- Ralph Vaughan Williams
%%
If I wished to punish a province, I would have it governed by
philosophers.
                                -- Frederick the Great
%%
If Negro freedom is taken away, or that of any minority group, the
freedom of all the people is taken away.
                                -- Paul Robeson
%%
If Noah had consulted with modern-day weather forecasters, there would
have been a ten-percent chance of him building the ark.
                                -- Jim Fiebig
%%
If Patrick Henry thought that taxation without representation was bad,
he should see how bad it is with representation.
%%
If a ball rims the cup, it is deemed to have dropped.  A ball should not
go sideways.  This violates the laws of physics.
                                -- Donald A. Metz
%%
If a ball stops at the brink of the hole and hangs there, defying
gravity, it is deemed to have dropped.  You can't defy the law of
gravity.
                                -- Donald A. Metz
%%
If a camel is a horse designed by a committee, then a consensus forecast
is a camel's behind.
                                -- Edgar R. Fiedler
%%
If a course requires a prerequisite, a student will not have had it.
                                -- M. M. Johnston
%%
If a great deal of time has been expended seeking the answer to a
problem, with the only result being failure, the answer will be
immediately obvious to the first unqualified person who comes along.
%%
If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours,
it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes
guilty.
                                -- Joseph C. Goulden
%%
If a man do not erect in this age his own tomb ere he dies, he shall
live no longer in monument than the bell rings, and the widow weeps.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
If a man does not make new acquaintances, as he advances through life,
he soon will find himself alone.  A man should keep his friendship in
constant repair.
                                -- Johnson
%%
If a man is happy in his work -- exerting himself to the full extent of
his capabilities, and enjoying it -- I'd say he's a success.
                                -- William Romain
%%
If a man will go as far as he can see, he will be able to see farther
when he gets there.
%%
If a man would register all his opinions upon love, politics, religion,
and learning, what a bundle of inconsistencies and contradictions would
appear at last!
                                -- Jonathon Swift
%%
If a political candidate chooses to go into specifics on a program that
affects a voter's self-interest, the voter gets interested.  If the
proposal involves money, he gets very interested.
                                -- Stuart Spencer
%%
If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
%%
If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
%%
If a putt passes over the hole without dropping, it is deemed to have
dropped. The law of gravity holds that any object attempting to maintain
a position in the atmosphere without something to support it must drop.
The law of gravity supercedes the law of golf.
                                -- Donald A. Metz
%%
If a research project is not worth doing at all, it is not worth doing
well.
%%
If a student has to study, he will claim that the course is unfair.
                                -- M. M. Johnston
%%
If a taxpayer thinks he can cheat safely, he probably will.
                                -- Diogenes
%%
If a thing cannot be fitted into something smaller than itself some dope
will do it.
                                -- Eric Frank Russell
%%
If a thing is done wrong often enough, it becomes right.
                                -- Richard A. Leahy
%%
If a woman attended an American high school between 1930 and 1965,
chances are that no one paid attention to anything but her brains unless
she took the utmost care to conceal them.
                                -- Susan Jacoby
%%
If all I'm offered is a choice between monopolistic privilege with
regulation and monopolistic privilege without regulation, I'm afraid I
have to opt for the former.
                                -- Nicholas Johnson
%%
If all our misfortunes were laid in one common heap, whence everyone
must take an equal portion, most people would be contented to take their
own and depart.
                                -- Socrates
%%
If all the Chinese simultaneously jumped into the Pacific off a 10 foot
platform erected 10 feet off their coast, it would cause a tidal wave
that would destroy everything in this country west of Nebraska.
%%
If all the economists were laid end to end, they still wouldn't reach a
conclusion.
                                -- Edgar R. Fiedler
%%
If all the people in this world in which we live were as selfish as a
few of the people in this world in which we live, there would be no
world in which to live.
                                -- W. L. Orme
%%
If an apparently severe problem manifests itself, no solution is
acceptable unless it is involved, expensive, and time-consuming.
%%
If an author write better than his contemporaries, they will term him a
plagiarist; if as well, a pretender; but if worse, he may stand some
chance of commendation as a genius of some promise, from whom much may
be expected by a due attention to their good counsel and advice.
                                -- Colton
%%
If an editor can reject your paper, he will.
                                -- Maeve O'Connor
%%
If an emergency strikes, a man should be able to leave his home with
nothing more than the clothes on his back without feeling that he has
left something behind.
                                -- Henry David Thoreau
%%
If an experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment.
%%
If an instructor says, "It is obvious" it won't be.
                                -- M. M. Johnston
%%
If an organization carries the word "united" in its name, it means it
isn't, e. g., United Nations, United Arab Republic, United Kingdom,
United States.
                                -- Professor Charles I. Issawi
%%
If anger is not restrained, it is frequently more hurtful to us, than
the injury that provokes it.
                                -- Seneca
%%
If another scientist thought your research was more important than his
(or hers), he would drop what he is doing and do what you are doing.
%%
If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men
liberally and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.  But let him
ask in faith, nothing wavering.
                                -- James I, 5,6
%%
If anything can go wrong in an experiment, it will.
%%
If anything can go wrong, it will.
 
Corollary: If anything just can't go wrong, it will anyway.
                                -- Francis P. Chisholm
%%
If at first you don't succeed that is only to be expected -- there is a
little bit of good even in the best of us. (No one is as good as he
thinks he is.)
%%
If at first you don't succeed, blame it on the teacher.
                                -- Stacey Bass
%%
If at first you don't succeed, transform your data set.
%%
If at first you don't succeed, try something else.
                                -- Laurance J. Peter
%%
If at first you don't succeed, try, try, again. Then quit.  No use being
a damn fool about things.
                                -- W. C. Fields
%%
If at first you don't succeed, you must be doing something wrong.
                                -- Charles Merrill Smith
%%
If at first you don't succeed, you will never succeed.
%%
If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.
%%
If beauty is only skin deep, you must have been born inside out.
%%
If both Alsops say it's true, it can't be so.
                                -- John Kenneth Galbraith
%%
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, the
first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
                                -- Gerald Weinberg
%%
If enough reports are prepared and technical reviews are held, negative
information will always filter its way to senior management.
                                -- Richard F. Moore
%%
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
something.
%%
If facts do not conform to theory, they must be disposed of.
                                -- N. R. F. Maier
%%
If for every rule there is an exception, then we have established that
there is an exception to every rule.  If we accept "For every rule there
is an exception" as a rule, then we must concede that there may not be
an exception after all, since the rule states that there is always the
possibility of exception, and if we follow it to its logical end we must
agree that there can be an exception to the rule that for every rule
there is an exception.
                                -- Bill Boquist
%%
If good intentions are combined with stupidity, it is impossible to
outthink them.
                                -- Marion J. Levy, Jr.
%%
If he [a generalist] delights to find a law he is ecstatic when he finds
a law about laws. If laws in his eyes are good, laws about laws are
delicious and are most praiseworthy objects of search.
                                -- Boulding
%%
If he had been born God, it was the clowns who would occupy the lowest
rungs of hell.
%%
If he had two ideas in his head, they would fall out with each other.
                                -- Johnson
%%
If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how
incapable must man be of learning from experience.
%%
If humanity profits from its mistakes, we have a glorious future coming
up.
%%
If it can be borrowed and it can be broken, you will borrow it and you
will break it.
                                -- W. W. Chandler
%%
If it can be understood, it's not finished yet.
                                -- Paul Herbig
%%
If it can break, it will, but only after the warranty expires.
                                -- Sherry Graditor
%%
If it can't be expressed in figures, it is not science; it is opinion.
                                -- Lazarus Long
%%
If it happens, it must be possible.
%%
If it is generally known what one is supposed to be doing, then someone
will expect him to do it.
                                -- Merle P. Martin
%%
If it jams ... force it.  If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
%%
If it pours before seven, it has rained by eleven.
%%
If it tastes good, you can't have it.  If it tastes awful, you'd better
clean your plate.
%%
If it works well, they'll stop making it.
%%
If it works, don't fix it.
                                -- William O'Neill
%%
If it's good, they'll stop making it.
                                -- Herblock
%%
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that
electricians can be delighted; musicians denoted; cowboys deranged;
models deposed; tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
                                -- Virginia Ostman
%%
If life were a bed of roses, some people wouldn't be happy until they
developed an allergy.
%%
  If love makes the world go 'round,
  Why are we going to outer space?
                                -- Margaret Gilman
%%
If no one uses something, it isn't needed.
                                -- Robert Sommer
%%
If nobody uses it, there's a reason.
                                -- Jane Bryant Quinn
%%
  If nuclear ... therefore it must be bad;
  Denounce such power with a protest squeal.
  The scientists made it (surely they're all mad),
  It's better not to think and just to feel.
                                -- Jack Kirwan
%%
If on an actuarial basis there is a 50/50 chance that something will go
wrong, it actually will go wrong nine times in ten.
%%
If one is lucky enough and can accurately define all three of these
parameters, task, time, and resources, then what one deals with is not
the realm of R&D.
%%
If one knows what the task is, and there is a time limit allowed for the
completion of the task, then one cannot guess how much it will cost.
%%
If one only wished to be happy, this could be easily accomplished; but
we wish to be happier than other people, and this is always difficult,
for we believe others to be happier than they are.
                                -- Montesquieu
%%
If only one parking space is available it will have a blue curb (blue
curbs are reserved for "STAFF").
                                -- M. M. Johnston
%%
If our standard of living gets much higher, most of us won't be able to
afford it.
%%
If ridicule were employed to laugh men out of vice and folly, it might
be of some use; but it is made use of to laugh men out of virtue and
good sense, by attacking everything solemn and serious.
                                -- Addison
%%
  If solid happiness we prize,
  Within our breast this jewel lies,
  And they are fools who roam;
  The world has nothing to bestow;
  From our own selves our joys must flow
  And that dear hut -- our home.
                                -- Cotton
%%
If some people didn't tell you, you'd never know they'd been away on
vacation.
%%
If some stress is brought to bear on a system in equilibrium, the
equilibrium is displaced in the direction which tends to undo the effect
of the stress.
%%
If someone with a rural accent says, "I don't know anything about
politics," zip up your pockets.
                                -- Donald Rumsfeld
%%
If that's art, I'm a Hottentot!
                                -- Harry S. Truman
%%
If the assumptions are wrong, the conclusions aren't likely to be very
good.
                                -- Robert E. Machol
%%
If the average man is made in God's image, then such a man as Beethoven
or Aristotle is plainly superior to God.
%%
If the converse of a statement is absurd, the original statement is an
insult to the intelligence and should never have been said.
                                -- Arthur H. Boultbee
(This is best applied to the statements of politicians and TV pundits.)
%%
If the dove chooses to fly with the hawks his feathers stay white but
his heart turns black.
%%
If the enterprise dies, say that you saw it coming ages ago.
                                -- Jean-Charles Terrassier
%%
If the experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment.
%%
If the meek shall inherit the Earth, what will happen to us Tigers?
%%
If the newspapers of a country are filled with good news, the jails will
be filled with good people.
                                -- Daniel P. Monynihan
%%
If the people are to be the governors, who then shall be the governed?
                                -- Cotton Mather
%%
If the people in a democracy are allowed to do so, they will vote away
the freedoms which are essential to that democracy.
                                -- Snell Putney
%%
If the time and resources ($) are clearly defined, then it is impossible
to know what part of the R&D task will be performed.
%%
If the wicked flourish, and thou suffer, be not discouraged.  They are
fatted for destruction:  thou are dieted for health.
                                -- Fuller
%%
If the work of God could be comprehended by reason, it would be no
longer wonderful, and faith would have no merit if reason provided
proof.
                                -- Pope Gregory I
%%
If the world like it not, so much the worse for them.
                                -- Cowper
%%
If there are twelve clowns in a ring, you can jump in the middle and
start reciting Shakespeare, but to the audience, you'll just be the
thirteenth clown.
                                -- Adam Walinsky
%%
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that
will go wrong first will be the one that will do the most damage.
%%
If there is a wrong thing to say, one will.
                                -- Betty Hartig
%%
If there is an opportunity to make a mistake, sooner or later the
mistake will be made.
                                -- Edmund C. Berkeley
%%
If there is any way to do it wrong, you will.
%%
If there is anything education does not lack today, it is critics.
                                -- Nathan M. Pusey
%%
If there is no reason why something shouldn't exist, then it must exist.
                                -- Murray Gell-Mann
%%
If there isn't a law, there will be.
                                -- Harold Faber
%%
If things are not going well with you, begin your effort at correcting
the situation by carefully examining the service you are rendering, and
especially the spirit in which you are rendering it.
                                -- Roger Babson
%%
If things can go wrong, they will -- and when they do, blame it on the
oil industry.
%%
If things were left to chance, they'd be better.
%%
If thou art a master, be sometimes blind; if a servant, sometimes deaf.
                                -- Fuller
%%
If thou hast a loitering servant, send him of thy errand just before his
dinner.
                                -- Fuller
%%
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
                                -- Laurence J. Peter
%%
If ugly was labor, you'd be a long day's work.
%%
If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in
each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.
                                -- Longfellow
%%
If we did not take great pains, and were not at great expense to corrupt
our nature, our nature would never corrupt us.
                                -- Lord Clarendon
%%
If we had no defects ourselves, we should not take so much pleasure in
noting those of others.
                                -- La Rochefoucauld
%%
If we in business cannot put the brakes on this creeping socialism, the
free enterprise system will become a thing of the past.
                                -- Barton A, Cummings
%%
If you accept the necessity for freedom of expression, it follows that
in an intellectual controversy any attempt to coerce rather than to
persuade ... is not merely an offense against the person so coerced, but
an erosion of the mechanics which make free expression work, and
therefore make it possible.
                                -- Micheal Kinsley
%%
If you add only a little to a little and do this often, soon that little
will become great.
                                -- Hesiod
%%
If you always postpone pleasure you will never have it.  Quit work and
play for once.
%%
If you anticipate bus delays by leaving your house thirty minutes early,
your bus will arrive as soon as you reach the bus stop or when you light
up a cigarette, whichever comes first.
                                -- John Corcoran
%%
If you are brave too often, people will come to expect it of you.
                                -- Mignon McLaughlin
%%
If you are concerned about being criticized, you're in the wrong job.
However you vote, and whatever you do, somebody will be out there
telling you that you are: (a) wrong, (b) insensitive, (c) a bleeding
heart, (d) a pawn of somebody else, (e) too wishy-washy, (f) too
unwilling to compromise, (g) all of the above -- consistency is not
required of critics.
                                -- Pierre S. du Pont
%%
If you are given a clearly defined R&D goal and a definite amount of
money which has been calculated to be necessary for the completion of
the task, one cannot predict if and when the goal will be reached.
%%
If you are to understand others, and have them understand you, know the
big words but use the small ones.
%%
If you break a cup or plate, it will not be the one that was already
chipped or cracked.
                                -- Denys Parsons
%%
  If you call a tail a leg, how many legs has a dog?
    Five?
  No, four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
                                -- Abraham Lincoln
%%
If you can give your son only one gift, let it be enthusiasm.
                                -- Bruce Barton
%%
If you can keep your head when all about you others are losing theirs,
maybe you just don't understand the situation.
%%
If you can't beat them, have them join you.
                                -- Charles Wolf, Jr.
%%
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
                                -- Harry S. Truman
%%
If you can't do anything about something, pretend it doesn't exist.
%%
If you can't measure it, I'm not interested.
                                -- Lawrence J. Peter
%%
If you can't measure output, then you can't measure input.
                                -- Charles Schultze
%%
If you can't remember it, it couldn't have been important.
                                -- Larry Groebe
%%
If you cannot inspire a woman with love of you, fill her above the brim
with of herself -- all that runs over the brim will be yours.
                                -- Colton
%%
If you continually give you will continually have.
%%
If you cover a congressional committee on a regular basis, they will
report the bill on your day off.
                                -- Herb Foster
%%
If you destroy delicacy and a sense of shame in a young girl, you
deprave her very fast.
                                -- Mrs. Stowe
%%
If you develop rules, never have more than ten.
                                -- Donald Rumsfeld
%%
If you disregard the advice of Gen. Douglas MacArthur and go into the
quicksand of an Asian country, like a domino you will fall into the
quicksand of another Asian country next to it.
                                -- Andrew Jacobs, D-Ind.
%%
If you don't go to other men's funerals they won't go to yours.
                                -- Clarence Day
%%
If you don't know what your program is supposed to do, you'd better not
start writing it.
                                -- Dijkstra
%%
If you don't like the answer, you shouldn't have asked the question.
                                -- Charles C. Abbott
%%
If you don't like the weather in New England, wait fifteen minutes; it
will change.
                                -- Mark Twain
%%
If you don't like the weather, move.
%%
If you don't like yourself, you can't like other people.
%%
If you don't say it, they can't repeat it.
                                -- Wilbur C. Munnecke
%%
If you have to forecast, forecast often.
%%
If you go on a trip taking two bags with you, one containing everything
you need for the trip and the other containing absolutely nothing, the
second bag will be completely filled with junk acquired on the trip when
you return.
                                -- Tony Hogg
%%
If you had your life to live over again -- you'd need more money.
%%
If you have always done it that way, it is probably wrong.
                                -- Charles F. Kettering
%%
If you have something to do, and you put it off long enough, chances are
someone else will do it for you.
                                -- Clyde F. Adams
%%
If you have to ask, you're not entitled to know.
                                -- Charles C. Abbott
%%
If you have to scream, you're not doing it right.
                                -- Billy Martin
%%
If you have to think about it, it's too late.
%%
If you have too many problems, maybe you should go out of business.
There is no law that says a company must last forever.
%%
If you jot down every silly thought that pops into your mind, you will
soon find out everything you most seriously believe.
                                -- Mignon McLaughlin
%%
If you just try long enough and hard enough, you can always manage to
boot yourself in the posterior.
                                -- A. J. Liebling
%%
If you lend a person any money, it becomes lost for any purposes of your
own. When you ask for it back again, you find a friend made an enemy by
your own kindness.  If you begin to press still further -- either you
must part with that which you have intrusted, or else you must lose that
friend.
                                -- Plautus
%%
If you lose your temper at a newspaper columnist, he'll get rich or
famous or both.
                                -- James C. Hagerty,
%%
If you make a mistake you right it immediately to the best of your
ability.
%%
If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a
year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.
                                -- Will Rogers
%%
If you make money your god, it will plague you like the devil.
                                -- Fielding
%%
If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; but if you
really make them think they'll hate you.
%%
If you need a physician, employ these three -- a cheerful mind, rest,
and a temperate diet.
%%
If you pick up a dog and make him prosper he will not bite you. This is
the basic difference between dogs and humans.
                                -- Mark Twain
%%
If you play with anything long enough, it will break.
                                -- Louis Zahner
%%
If you play with something long enough, you will surely break it.
%%
If you push something hard enough it will fall over.
%%
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out but
tomfoolery.  But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive
machine, is somehow ennobled, and no one dares to criticize it.
                                -- Pierre Gallois
%%
If you rob Peter to pay Paul, you can always depend on the support of
Paul. (But don't bet on it.)
%%
If you see a man approaching you with the obvious intent of doing you
good, you should run for your life.
                                -- Henry David Thoreau
%%
If you see that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go
wrong, and you circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will
promptly develop.
%%
If you stop to think about it, you're already dead.
%%
If you submit your paper to a second editor, his journal invariably
demands an entirely different reference system.
                                -- Maeve O'Conner
%%
If you suspect a man, don't employ him.
%%
If you take off your right-hand glove in very cold weather, the key will
be in your left-hand pocket.
%%
If you take pleasure in criticism, it's time to hold you tongue.
%%
If you take your boots off, you'll never get them back on again.
                                -- Milt Barber
%%
If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
                                -- Derek Bok
%%
If you think the problem is bad now, just wait until we've solved it.
                                -- Arthur Kasspe
%%
If you think this is funny, look in a mirror.
%%
If you try to please everybody, somebody is not going to like it.
                                -- Donald Rumsfeld
%%
If you want a track team that will win the high jump, you find one
person who can jump seven feet, not seven people who can jump one foot.
                                -- Frederick E. Terman
%%
If you want enemies, excel others; if you want friends let others excel
you.
                                -- Colton
%%
If you want something done, ask a busy person.
%%
If you want to get along, go along.
                                -- Sam Rayburn
%%
If you want to kill any idea in the world today, get a committee working
on it.
                                -- Charles F. Kettering
%%
If you want to make an enemy, do someone a favor.
                                -- Charles L. Geanangel
%%
If you want to understand your government, don't begin by reading the
Constitution. (It conveys precious little of the flavor of today's
statecraft.)  Instead, read selected portions of the Washington
telephone directory containing listings for all the organizations with
titles beginning with the word "National."
                                -- George Will
%%
If you want your name spelled wrong, die.
                                -- Al Blanchard
%%
If you were a character string, your length would be zero.
%%
If you were as innocent as you pretend to be, we'd never get anywhere.
                                -- Sam Spade
%%
If you wish to live wisely, ignore sayings -- including this one.
%%
If you wish to make a superior product, you must already be engaged in
making an inferior product.
                                -- Jacob A. Varela
%%
If you wish to succeed, consult three old people.
%%
If you wish to, you will have a good opportunity to get even.
%%
If you wish, you will have an opportunity.
%%
If you would be pungent, be brief; for it is with words as with sunbeams
-- the more condensed the deeper they burn.
                                -- Southey
%%
If you would keep a secret from an enemy, tell it not to a friend.
%%
If you're already in a hole, there's no use to continue digging.
                                -- Roy W. Walters
%%
If you're coasting, you're going downhill.
                                -- L. R. Pierson
%%
If you're confident after you've just finished an exam, it's because you
don't know enough to know better.
                                -- Jay Weisman
%%
If you're ever right, never let 'em forget it.
                                -- Edgar R. Riedler
%%
If your doing something the same way you have been doing it for ten
years, the chances are you are doing it wrong.
                                -- Charles Kettering
%%
If your friend won't lend you fifty dollars, he's probably a close
friend.
%%
If your next pot of chili tastes better, it probably is because of
something you left out.
%%
If your parents didn't have any children, there's a good chance you
won't have any.
                                -- Clarence Day
%%
If your stomach disputes you, pacify it with cool thoughts.
                                -- Satchel Paige
%%
If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to
please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely
girl.
                                -- H. L. Mencken
%%
Ignorance is no excuse.
%%
Ignorance of one's ignorance is the greatest ignorance.
%%
Illegetimus non carborundum!
%%
Imagination is the beginning of creation.  You imagine what you desire;
you will what you imagine; and at last you create what you will.
                                -- George Bernard Shaw
%%
  Immodest words admit of no defence
  For want of decency is want of sense.
                                -- Alexander Pope
%%
Impatience dires the blood sooner than age or sorrow.
                                -- Creon
%%
Important things that are supposed to happen do not happen, especially
when people are looking.
                                -- Charles Fetridge
%%
Impossible is a word only to be found in the dictionary of fools.
                                -- Napoleon Bonaparte
%%
Impropriety is the soul of wit.
                                -- Somerset Maugham
%%
In Africa some of the native tribes have a custom of beating the ground
with clubs and uttering spine chilling cries.  Anthropologists call this
a form of primitive self-expression.  In America we call it golf.
%%
In America everybody is of the opinion that he has no social superiors,
since all men are equal, but he does not admit that he has no social
inferiors, for, from the time of Jefferson onward, the doctrine that all
men are equal applies only upwards, not downwards.
                                -- Bertrand Russell
%%
In Fame's temple there is always a niche to be found for rich dunces,
importunate scoundrels or successful butchers of the human race.
                                -- Zimmermam
%%
In God we trust; all others pay cash.
%%
In God we trust.
%%
In a Democracy only those laws which have their bases in folkways or the
approval of strong groups have a chance of being enforced.
                                -- Abraham Myerson
%%
In a bureaucracy accomplishment is inversely proportional to volume of
paper used.
                                -- Foster L. Fowler
%%
In a bureaucracy every routing slip will expand until it contains the
maximum number of names that can be typed in a vertical column, namely,
twenty-seven.
                                -- Daniel Melcher
%%
In a bureaucratic system an increase in expenditure will be matched by a
fall in production.  Such systems will act rather like "black holes" in
the economic universe, simultaneously sucking in resources and shrinking
in terms of "emitted" production.
                                -- Dr. Max Gammon
%%
In a bureaucratic system, useless work drives out useful work.
                                -- Milton Friedman
%%
In a country as big as the United States, you can find fifty examples of
anything.
                                -- Jeffery F. Chamberlain
%%
In a crisis that forces a choice to be made among alternative courses of
action, most people will choose the worst one possible.
                                -- S. A. Rudin
%%
In a democracy you can be respected though poor, but don't count on it.
                                -- Charles Merrill Smith
%%
In a family argument, if it turns out you are right -- apologize at
once!
                                -- Lazarus Long
%%
In a few minutes a computer can make a mistake so great that is would
take a man many months to equal it.
%%
In a future life, may you come back as yourself.
%%
In a hierarchical organization, the higher the level, the greater the
confusion.
%%
In a mature society, "civil servant" is semantically equal to "civil
master."
                                -- Lazarus Long
%%
In a medium in which a News Piece takes a minute and an "In-Depth" Piece
takes two minutes, the Simple will drive out the Complex.
                                -- Frank Mankiewicz
%%
In a museum in Havana, there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus,
"one when he was a boy and one when he was a man."
                                -- Mark Twain
%%
In a research and development orbit, only two of the existing three
parameters can be defined simultaneously.  The parameters are: task,
time, and resources.
%%
In a restaurant with seats which are close to each other, one will
always find the decibel level of the nearest conversation to be
inversely proportional to the quality of the thought going into it.
                                -- Stuart A. Cohn
%%
In a vain man, the smallest spark may kindle into the greatest flame,
because the materials are always prepared for it.
                                -- Hume
%%
In all systems of theology the devil figures as a male person. Yet, it
is women who keep the church going.
%%
In all the many-colored worlds of the universe no single ethical code
shows a universal force. ... I am convinced that virtue is but a
reflection of good intent.
                                -- Magnus Ridolf
%%
In an attempt to kill a fly I drove into a telephone pole.
%%
In an underdeveloped country, don't drink the water; in a developed
country, don't breathe the air.
%%
In an underdeveloped country, when you are absent, your job is taken
away from you; in a developed country a new one is piled on you.
                                -- Professor Charles P. Issawi
%%
In any collection of data, the figures that are obviously correct will
contain errors.
%%
In any decision situation, the amount of relevant information available
is inversely proportional to the importance of the decision.
                                -- Michael T. Minerath
%%
In any given group, the most will do the least and the least the most.
                                -- Merle P. Martin
%%
In any given miscalculation, the fault will never be placed if more than
one person is involved.
                                -- Merle P. Martin
%%
In any household, junk accumulates to fill the space available for its
storage.
                                -- Bruce O. Boston
%%
In any human enterprise, work seeks the lowest hierarchical level.
                                -- Charles R. Vail
%%
In any organization, the potential is much greater for the subordinate
to manage his superior than for the superior to manage his subordinate.
%%
In any slide presentation, at least one slide will be upside down or
backwards, or both.
                                -- John Corcoran
%%
In arguing, too, the parson owned his skill, for even tho' vanquish'd he
could argue still.
                                -- Oliver Goldsmith
%%
In briefings to busy people, summarize at the beginning what you're
going to tell them, then tell them, then summarize at the end what you
have told them.
                                -- Charles Wolf, Jr.
%%
In business, price increases as service declines.
                                -- James L. Davis
%%
In case of doubt -- make it sound convincing.
%%
  In case of nuclear attack:
    1.  Stand with feet shoulder width apart.
    2.  Bend over to a 90 degree angle.
    3.  Face backwards.
    4.  Kiss your ass goodbye.
%%
In dealing with people, an ounce of sincere, good intentions is worth a
pound of cleverness.
%%
In dealing with the press do yourself a favor.  Stick with one of three
responses:
 
  (a) I know and I can tell you.
  (b) I know and I can't tell you.
  (c) I don't know.
                                -- Dan Rather
%%
In dealing with their own problems, faculty members are the most extreme
conservatives.  In dealing with other people's problems, they are the
world's extreme liberals.
                                -- Clark Kerr
%%
  In differing breasts what differing passions glow!
  Ours kindle quick, but yours extinguish slow.
                                -- Garth
%%
In every hierarchy, whether it be government or business, each employee
tends to rise to his level of incompetence; every post tends to be
filled by an employee incompetent to execute its duties.
                                -- Laurance J. Peter
%%
In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts; they
come back to us with a certain alienated majesty.
%%
In formal logic, a contradiction is the signal of defeat:  but in the
evolution of real knowledge, it marks the first step in progress toward
victory.
                                -- Alfred North Whitehead
%%
In handling a stinging insect, move very slowly.
                                -- Lazarus Long
%%
In his private heart no man much respects himself.
                                -- Mark Twain
%%
  In larger things we are convivial;
  What causes trouble is the trivial.
                                -- Richard Armour
%%
In life there is but one bad thing and one good; both of them are women.
%%
In lover's quarrels, the party that loves most is always most willing to
acknowledge the greater fault.
                                -- Scott
%%
In matters of dispute, the bank's balance is always smaller than yours.
                                -- Rozanne Weissman
%%
In morals, what begins in fear usually ends in wickedness; in religion,
what begins in fear usually ends in fanaticism.  Fear, either as a
principle or a motive, is the beginning of all evil.
                                -- Mrs. Jameson
%%
  In my Lucia's absence
  Life hangs upon me, and becomes a burden;
  I am ten times undone, while hope, and fear,
  And grief, and rage and love rise up at once,
  And with variety of pain distract me.
                                -- Joseph Addison
%%
In my stars I am above thee, but be not afraid of greatness; some are
born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon
them.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
In my view, God educates us through our deceptions and mistakes, in
order to make us understand at last that we ought to believe only in
Him, and not in man.
%%
In order to discover anything you must be looking for something.
                                -- Harvey Neville
%%
In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don't need it.
                                -- John Cameron
%%
In order to keep engineers and scientists cognizant of the importance of
progress, load them down with forms, multiple reports, and frequent
meetings.
                                -- Richard F. Moore
%%
In order to make [a person] covet a thing, it is only necessary to make
the thing difficult to attain.
                                -- Samuel Clemens
%%
In our haste to deal with the things that are wrong, let us not upset
the things that are right.
%%
In politics, an absurdity is not a handicap.
                                -- Napoleon Bonaparte
%%
In politics, what begins in fear usually ends in folly.
                                -- Coleridge
%%
In science the credit goes to the man who convinces the world, not to
the man to whom the idea first occurs.
                                -- Sir William Osler
%%
In spite of all the yearnings of men, no one can produce a single fact
or reason to support the belief in God and in personal immortality.
%%
In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch; Tact is the clever
footwork.
%%
In the bottle, discontent seeks for comfort, cowardice for courage, and
bashfulness for confidence.
                                -- Johnson
%%
In the economic sense, our socialism was more like state capitalism ...
Marx had never dreamed of anything of the sort ... Soviet Russia had
broken with everything in her history that was revolutionary, and had
got onto the usual rails of great-power imperialism.      -- Svetlana
Alliluyeva
%%
In the education of children there is nothing like alluring the interest
and affection; otherwise you only make so many asses laden with books.
                                -- Michel de Montaigne
%%
In the end more than they wanted freedom, they wanted security.  When
the Athenians finally wanted not to give to society but for society to
give to them, when the freedom they wished for was freedom from
responsibility, then Athens ceased to be free.
                                -- Edward Gibbon
%%
In the fight between you and the world, back the world.
                                -- Franz Kafka
%%
In the game of life it's a good idea to have a few early losses, which
relieves you of the pressure of trying to maintain an undefeated season.
                                -- Bill Vaughan
%%
In the gates of Eternity, the black hand and the white hand hold each
other with an equal clasp.
                                -- Mrs. Stowe
%%
In the intercourse of life we please, often, by our defects than by our
good qualities.
                                -- La Rochefoucauld
%%
In the lexicon of youth, which fate reserves for a bright manhood, there
is no such word as fail.
                                -- Bulwer
%%
In the long run we are all dead.
                                -- John Maynard Keynes
%%
In the nice bee what sense so subtly true Form pois'ness herbs extract
the healing dew?
                                -- Alexander Pope
%%
In the republic of mediocrity, genius is dangerous.
%%
In the space of one hundred and seventy-six years the Mississippi has
shortened itself two hundred and forty-two miles. Therefore, ... in the
Old Silurian Period the Mississippi River was upward of one million
three hundred thousand miles long, ... seven hundred and forty-two years
from now the Mississippi will be only a mile and three-quarters
long. ... There is something fascinating about science. One gets such
wholesome returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of
fact.
                                -- Mark Twain
%%
In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes and an occasional
salutary recession.
                                -- Poor Jimmy's Almanac
%%
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
                                -- Benjamin Franklin
%%
In time of trouble, men of talent are called for, but in times of ease
the rich and those with powerful relatives are desired.
                                -- Italo Bombolini
%%
In time, and as one comes to benefit from experience, one learns that
things will turn out neither as well as one hoped nor as badly as one
feared.
                                -- Jerome S. Bruner
%%
In times of crisis, it is of utmost importance not to lose one's head.
                                -- Marie Antoinette
%%
In unanimity there may well be either cowardice or uncritical thinking.
                                -- Donald Rumsfeld
%%
In war, when a commander becomes so bereft of reason and perspective
that he fails to understand the dependence of arms on Divine guidance,
he no longer deserves victory.
                                -- Gen. Douglas MacArthur
%%
Include me out.
                                -- Sam Goldwyn
%%
Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place.
                                -- Laurance J. Peter
%%
Incompetence tends to increase with the level of work performed.  And,
naturally, the individual's staff needs will increase as his level of
incompetence increases.
                                -- Arthur J. Riggs
%%
Incompetents often hire able assistants.
                                -- Douglas Evelyn
%%
Indifference is the only sure defence.
                                -- Jody Powell
%%
Indolence is a delightful but distressing state; we must be doing
something to be happy.  Action is no less necessary than thought to the
instinctive tendencies of the human frame.
                                -- Mahatma Gandhi
%%
Infant care has to be learned from the bottom up.
%%
Inflation is when the only thing free of charge is a rundown battery.
%%
Information flows efficiently through organizations, except that bad
news encounters high impedance in flowing upwards.
                                -- Paul Gray
%%
Information travels more surely to those with a lesser need to know.
                                -- Charles P. Boyle
%%
Ingratitude is the crack in the sewer that turns the sweet waters of
life into a running shit pot.
                                -- Italo Bombolini
%%
Innocence is always unsuspicious.
                                -- Haliburton
%%
Innovations in law, whether good or bad, spin an entangling weave far
more often than they sew a straight stitch.  Division of labor can make
for great efficiency; too great a division of labor in lawmaking can
instead create a crazy quilt.
                                -- Michael Scully
%%
Inquisitive people are the funnels of conversation; they do not take in
anything for their own use, but merely to pass it to another.
                                -- Steele
%%
Insanity is often the logic of an accurate mind overtaxed.
                                -- Oliver Wendell Holmes
%%
Inside every large program is a small program struggling to get out.
                                -- Tony Hoare
%%
Inside every science fiction novel is a trilogy struggling to get out.
                                -- Martin Minow
%%
Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't
they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning
anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five
years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.
                                -- Will Rogers
%%
Integrity has no need of rules.
                                -- Albert Camus
%%
Interrogator's lunch -- grilled cheese    -- Raymond D. Love
%%
Inventing is easy for staff outfits.  Stating a problem is much harder.
Instead of stating problems, people like to pass out half-accurate
statements together with half-available solutions which they can't
finish and which they want you to finish.
                                -- Amrom Katz
%%
Investment in reliability will increase until it exceeds the probable
cost of errors, or somebody insists on getting some useful work done.
                                -- Tom Gibb
%%
Irony is when you buy a suit with two pair of pants, and then burn a
hole in the coat.
%%
Is it bhang for the buck, or pennies for a pop?
%%
Is not absence death to those who love?
                                -- Alexander Pope
%%
Is not light grander than fire?  It is the same element in a state of
purity.
                                -- Carlyle
%%
Is there anything in the universe more beautiful and protective than the
simple complexity of a spider's web?
                                -- Charlotte
%%
Is there no way to bring home a wandering sheep, but by worring him to
death?
                                -- Fuller
%%
Isn't every computer a Digital computer?
%%
Isn't this a beautiful day!  Just watch some bastard louse it up.
%%
It does not matter if you fall down as long as you pick up something
from the floor while you get up.
                                -- Avery
%%
It gives me pleasure to be praised by you whom all men praise.
                                -- Tully
%%
It has been said that there are two theories of history:  conspiracy and
blunder.  If there is some truth to that, it is surely equally true that
blunder seldom receives all the credit due it as an explanation of
complex events.
                                -- Michael Scully
%%
It has long been known that one horse can run faster than another -- but
which one? Differences are crucial.
                                -- Lazarus Long
%%
It is Fortune, not wisdom that rules man's life.
%%
It is a blessed thing that in every age someone has had the
individuality enough and courage enough to stand by his own convictions.
                                -- Robert G. Ingersoll
%%
It is a far, far better thing to have a firm anchor in nonsense than to
put out on the troubled seas of thought.
                                -- John Kenneth Galbraith
%%
It is a good divine that follows his own instructions.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
It is a great and dangerous error to suppose that all people are equally
entitled to liberty.
                                -- John C. Calhoun
%%
It is a great misfortune neither to have enough wit to talk well nor
enough judgement to be silent.
                                -- Jean de La Brupere
%%
It is a miserable thing to live in suspense, it is the life of the
spider.
                                -- Jonathon Swift
%%
It is a mistake to believe that a science consists in nothing but
conclusively proved propositions, and it is unjust to demand that it
should.  It is a demand only from those who feel a craving for authority
in some form and a need to replace the religious catechism by something
else, even it it be a scientific one.
                                -- Sigmund Freud
%%
It is a poor judge who cannot award a prize.
%%
It is a secret known to but a few, yet no small use in the conduct of
life, that if you fall into a man's conversation, the first thing you
should consider is, whether he has a greater inclination to hear you, or
that you should hear him.
                                -- Steele
%%
It is a special trick of low cunning to squeeze out knowledge from a
modest man, who is eminent in any science, and then to use it as legally
acquired, and pass the source in total silence.
                                -- Horace Walpole
%%
It is a very sad thing nowadays there is so little useless information.
                                -- Oscar Wilde
%%
It is against the nature of man as he grows older ... to protest against
change, particularly change for the better.
                                -- John Steinbeck
%%
It is almost impossible systematically to constitute a natural moral
law. Nature has no principles. She furnishes us with no reason to
believe that human life is to be respected. Nature, in her indifference,
makes no distinction between good and evil.
%%
It is amusing for someone accustomed to the traffic in New York to hear
residents of places like Houston and Atlanta complain about congestion
on the highways.  Imagine, in rush hour they have to slow down to 35
miles an hour!
                                -- Barry Bruce-Briggs
%%
It is best to hope only for things possible and probable; he that hopes
too much shall deceive himself at last; especially if his industry does
not go along with his hopes; for hope without action is a barren undoer.
                                -- Feltham
%%
It is better for a city to be governed by a good man than by good laws.
                                -- Aristotle
%%
It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be
coming up it.
                                -- Henry Allen
%%
It is better to be always on your guard than to suffer once.
%%
It is better to be feared than loved, more prudent to be cruel than
compassionate.
                                -- Niccolo Machievelli
%%
It is better to burn out than fade away.
%%
It is better to decide between our enemies than our friends; for one of
our friends will most likely become our enemy; but on the other hand,
one of your enemies will probably become your friend.
                                -- Bias
%%
It is better to have a lion at the head of an army of sheep, than a
sheep at the head of an army of lions.
                                -- De Foe
%%
It is better to have loved and lost, Than never to have loved at all.
                                -- Tennyson
%%
It is better to have nothing to do than to be doing nothing.
                                -- Attilus
%%
It is better to sound a person with whom one deals afar off, than to
fall upon the point at first.
                                -- Bacon
%%
It is better to wear out than to rust out.
%%
It is but poor eloquence, which only shows that the orator can talk.
                                -- Sir Joshua Reynolds
%%
It is by acts and not by ideas that people live.
                                -- Anatole France
%%
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three
unspeakably precious things:  freedom of speech, freedom of conscience,
and the prudence never to practice either of them.
                                -- Mark Twain
%%
It is courage the world needs, not infallibility ... courage is always
the surest wisdom.
                                -- Sir Wilfred Grenfell
%%
It is customary for a decimal point to be misplaced.
%%
It is difficult to soar with eagles when you work with turkeys.
%%
It is easier to harness human nature than to fight or repress it.
%%
It is easier to run down a hill than up one.
%%
It is easy to understand God as long as you don't try to explain Him.
%%
It is excellent to have a giant's strength, but it tyrannous to  use it
like a giant.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
It is far better to be deceived than to be undeceived by those we love.
%%
It is far easier to be wise for others than to be so for oneself.
                                -- La Rochefoucauld
%%
It is far easier to know men than to know man.
                                -- La Rochefoucauld
%%
It is far more easy to acquire a fortune like a knave than to expend it
like a gentleman.
                                -- Colton
%%
It is fear that first brought gods into the world.
%%
It is good that the young are beautiful; it is the only advantage they
have.
                                -- The Duchess of Windsor
%%
It is hard for an empty bag to stand upright.
                                -- Benjamin Franklin
%%
It is hardly possible to suspect another without having in one's self
the seeds of the baseness the other party is accused of.
                                -- Stanislaus
%%
It is impossible for a man to love his wife whole-heartedly without
loving all women somewhat. I suppose that the converse must be true of
women.
                                -- Lazarus Long
%%
It is impossible that anything so natural, so necessary, and so
universal as death, should ever have been designed by Providence as an
evil to mankind.
                                -- Jonathon Swift
%%
It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of
work to do.
%%
It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a
tune.
                                -- Woody Allen
%%
It is impossible to make anything foolproof, because fools are so
ingenious.
%%
It is impossible to make people understand their ignorance, for it
requires knowledge to perceive it; and, therefore, he that can perceive
it hath it not.
                                -- Jeremy Taylor
%%
It is in his pleasures that a man really lives, it is from his leisure
that he constructs the fabric of self.
                                -- Agnes Repplier
%%
It is in the nature of mobs to cheer fools.
%%
It is inconceivable that three competing networks, working independently
in complete secrecy, could produce by accident twenty-six new series so
similar in quality.
                                -- Marvin Kitman
%%
It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.
%%
It is more disgraceful to distrust than to be decieved by our friends.
                                -- La Rochefoucauld
%%
It is more shameful to distrust one's friends than to be deceived by
them.
                                -- Duc de La Rochefoucauld
%%
It is much harder to find a job than to keep one.
                                -- Jules Becker
%%
It is never clear just how many hands -- or minds -- are needed to carry
out a particular process.  Nevertheless, anyone having supervisory
responsibility for the completion of the task will invariably protest
that his staff is too small for the assignment.
                                -- Andrew Hacker
%%
It is nice to be content in a little house by the side of the road, but
a split-level in suburbia is a lot more comfortable.
                                -- Charles Merrill Smith
%%
It is no disgrace not to be able to do everything; but to undertake, or
pretend to do, what you are not made for, is not only shameful, but
extremely troublesome.
                                -- Plutarch
%%
It is no longer correct to regard higher education solely as a
privilege.  It is a basic right in today's world.
                                -- Norman Cousins
%%
It is no pleasure to build a web and catch only flies when one knows
there is a wasp about.
%%
It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is
because we do not dare that they are difficult.
                                -- Seneca
%%
It is not enough to do the right thing; one must also do it the right
way.
%%
It is not love of self, but hatred of self which is at the root of the
troubles that afflict the world.
                                -- Eric Hoffer
%%
It is not poverty so much as pretence that harasses a ruined man -- the
struggle between a proud mind and an empty purse -- the keeping up a
hollow show that must soon come to an end.  Have the courage to appear
poor, and you disarm poverty of its sharpest sting.
                                -- Mrs. Jameson
%%
It is not the disease but neglect of the remedy which generally destroys
life.
%%
It is not the quality of the meat, but the cheerfulness of the guests,
that makes the feast.
                                -- Lord Clarendon
%%
It is not work that kills men; it is worry.  Work is healthy; you can
hardly put more upon a man than he can bear.  Worry is rust upon the
blade.  It is not the revolution that destroys the machinery, but the
friction.  Fear secretes acids, but love and trust are sweet juices.
                                -- Beecher
%%
It is often easier to earn money than it is to spend it wisely.
%%
It is one thing to purloin finely-tempered steel, and another to take a
pound of literary old iron, and convert it in the furnace of one's own
mind into a hundred watchsprings, worth each a thousand times as much as
the iron.  When genius borrows, it borrows grandly, giving to the
borrowed matter, a life and beauty it lacked before.
%%
It is only by labor that thought can be made healthy, and only by
thought that labor can be made happy; and the two cannot be separated
with impunity.
                                -- Ruskin
%%
It is only people of small moral stature who have to stand on their
dignity.
%%
It is our policy to steer clear of permanent alliances with any portion
of the
%%
It is questionable if all the mechanical inventions yet made have
lightened the day's toil of any human being.
%%
It is sometimes necessary to play the fool to avoid being deceived by
cunning men.
                                -- La Rochefoucauld
%%
It is the curse of talent that, although it labors with greater
steadiness and perseverance than genius, it does not reach its goal,
while genius, already on the summit of the ideal, gazes laughingly
about.
%%
It is the function of creative men to perceive the relations between
thoughts, or things, or forms of expression that may seem utterly
different, and to be able to combine them into some new forms -- the
power to connect the seemingly unconnected.
%%
It is the great triumph of genius to make the common appear novel.
%%
It is the guilt, not the scaffold, which constitutes the shame.
                                -- Cornville
%%
It is the height of absurdity to sow little but weeds in the first half
of one's lifetime and expect to harvest a valuable crop in the second
half.
                                -- Percy Johnston
%%
It is the natural order of things.  Nothing can alter it.  The strong
take, the weak surrender.
                                -- Sepp von Plum
%%
It is the nature of the human disposition to hate him who you have
injured.
                                -- Tacitus
%%
It is the pleasure of reward rather than the pain of punishment that
motivates people.
%%
It is the uncensored sense of humor ... which is the ultimate therapy
for man in society.
                                -- Evan Esar
%%
It is the wise bird who builds his nest in a tree.
%%
It is the working man who is the happy man.
                                -- Benjamin Franklin
%%
It is to the interest of the commonwealth of mankind that there should
be someone who is unconquered, someone against whom fortune has no
power.
                                -- Seneca
%%
It is true that if your paperboy throws your paper into the bushes for
five straight days it can be explained by Newton's Law of Gravity.  But
it takes Murphy's law to explain why it is happening to you.
%%
It is unwise to do unto others as you would that they do unto you.
Their tastes may not be the same.
                                -- George Bernard Shaw
%%
It is what we are that gets across, not what we try to teach.
%%
It is worthy of observation, that the most imperious masters over their
own servants, are at the same time, the most abject slaves to the
servants of other masters.
                                -- Seneca
%%
It isn't that things will necessarily go wrong (Murphy's Law), but
rather that they will take so much more time and effort than you think,
if they are not to.
                                -- Charles Wolf, Jr.
%%
It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know
that ain't so.
                                -- Will Rogers
%%
It isn't what you know but the simple things you don't overlook.
%%
It markes a big step in a man's development when he comes to realize
that other men can be called on to help him do a better job than he can
do alone.
                                -- Andrew Carnagie
%%
It may be better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but it is better
still to be a live lion. And usually easier.
                                -- Lazarus Long
%%
It may be remarked for the comfort of honest poverty, that avarice
reigns most in those who have but few good qualities to recommend them.
This is a weed that will grow in a barren soil.
                                -- Hughes
%%
It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God -- but to
create Him.
%%
It may be true that human beings make more mistakes than computers, but
for a real foul up, give us a computer anytime.
%%
It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety.
                                -- Salvor Hardin
%%
It seems like the less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the
flag.
%%
It seems that nature has concealed at the bottom of our minds, talents
and abilities of which we are not aware.  The passions alone have the
privilege of bringing them to light, and of giving us sometimes views
more certain  and more perfect than art could possible produce.
                                -- La Rochefoucauld
%%
It show'd discretion, the best part of valor.
                                -- Beaumont and Fletcher
%%
It sometimes seems as though we were trying to combine the ideal of no
schools at all with the democratic ideal of schools for everybody by
having schools without education.
                                -- Robert Maynard Hutchins
%%
It takes both a weapon, and two people, to commit a murder.
%%
It takes everyone to make a happy day.
                                -- Marcy Kay Rumsfeld
%%
  It warms me, it charms me,
  To mention but her name;
  It heats me, it beats me,
  And set me a' on flame.
                                -- Burns
%%
It was a book to kill time for those who liked it better dead.
%%
It was a saying of the ancients, "Truth lies in a well;" and to carry on
this metaphor, we may justly say that logic does supply us with steps,
whereby we may go down to reach the water.
                                -- Dr. I. Watts
%%
It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak, and
then decide not to say it after all.
                                -- P. G. Wodehouse
%%
It was one of those perfect summer days -- the sun was shining, a breeze
was blowing, the birds were singing, and the lawn mower was broken.
                                -- James Dent
%%
It will be of little avail to the people that the laws are made by men
of their own choice, if the laws be so voluminous that they cannot be
read, or so incoherent that they cannot be understood; if they be
repealed or revised before they are promulgated, or undergo such
incessane changes that no man who knows what the law is today can guess
what it will be tomorrow.
                                -- The Federalist, No. 62
%%
It would be well, if some who have taken upon themselves the ministry of
the Gospel, that they would first preach to themselves, then afterwards
to others.
                                -- Cardinal Pole
%%
It's NOT my fault!!!
                                -- Han Solo (and a cast of thousands)
%%
It's a good idea to keep your words soft and sweet to the taste.  You
may have to eat them.
%%
It's a poor workman who blames his tools.
%%
It's a sad house where the cock is silent and the hen crows.
%%
It's always darkest just before the lights go out.
                                -- Alex Clark
%%
It's amazing how much "mature wisdom" resembles being too tired.
                                -- Lazarus Long
%%
It's better to keep your mouth closed and be presumed a fool than to
open it and remove all doubt.
%%
It's better to retire too soon than too late.
                                -- Charles A. Mosher
%%
It's clever, but is it art?
%%
It's easier to be a liberal a long way from home.
                                -- Don Price
%%
It's easier to be original and foolish than original and wise.
                                -- Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz
%%
It's easier to be wise for others than for ourselves.
                                -- Duc de La Rochefoucauld
%%
It's easy to tell when you've got a bargain -- it doesn't fit.
%%
It's hard to say who brags more, the reformed smoker or the guy whose
car gets 30 miles to the gallon.
                                -- James Alexander
%%
It's hard to sing with an empty glass.
%%
It's later than you think: the joint Russian-American space mission has
already begun.
%%
It's not reality that's important, but how you perceive things.
%%
It's not so hard to lift yourself by your bootstraps once you're off the
ground.
                                -- Daniel B. Luten
%%
It's not what you know or what you do, it's who you know.
%%
It's not what you write that counts, it's how it's read.
%%
It's odd how sin must advertise in gaudy trappings. One would think it
would be darker, more discreet.
%%
It's so stupid of modern civilization to have given up believing in the
Devil when he is the only explanation of it.
%%
It's sweet to be remembered, but it's often cheaper to be forgotten.
%%
It's the most unhappy people who most fear change.
                                -- Mignon McLaughlin
%%
It's the opinion of some that crops could be grown on the moon.  Which
raises the fear that it may not be long before we're paying somebody not
to.
                                -- Franklin P. Jones
%%
JIFFY: the time it takes for light to go one centimeter in a vacuum.
%%
JOB PLACEMENT: Telling your boss what he can do with your job.
%%
James Joyce -- an essentially private man who wished his total
indifference to public notice to be universally recognized.
                                -- Tom Stoppard
%%
Jimmy Carter says the GOP Convention was "a debacle."  That's French for
Trust Me.
                                -- National Review
%%
Jimmy Carter says the GOP Convention was "a debacle."  That's high
praise from our country's Debacleur-in-Chief.      -- National Review
%%
Jimmy Carter says the GOP Convention was "a debacle."  What did he
expect -- a helicopter rescue mission?
                                -- National Review
%%
Join the Navy and see the coast!
%%
Jones's Law: The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of
someone he can blame it on.
%%
Joy descends gently upon us like the evening dew, and does not patter
down like a hailstorm.
                                -- Richter
%%
Judge a tree from its fruit; not from the leaves.
                                -- Euripides
%%
Judgment is not the knowledge of fundamental laws; it is knowing how to
apply a knowledge of them.
                                -- Charles Gow
%%
Just about the time most of us finally learn all the answers, they
change all the questions.
%%
Just as most issues are seldom black or white, so are most good
solutions seldom black or white.  Beware of the solution that requires
one side to be totally the loser and the other side to be totally the
winner.  The reason there are two sides to begin with usually is because
neither side has all the facts.  Therefore, when the wise mediator
effects a compromise, he is not acting from political motivation.
Rather, he is acting from a deep sense of respect for the whole truth.
                                -- Stephen R. Schwambach
%%
Just as there are three R's there are also three A's of business life.
They are: Ability, Ambition, and Attitude.  Ability establishes what a
worker does and will bring him a paycheck.  Ambition determines how much
he does and will get him a raise.  Attitude guarantees how well he does.
                                -- Wilbert E. Sheer
%%
Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.
                                -- Irene Peter
%%
Just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do doesn't mean
it's useless.
                                -- Thomas Edison
%%
Just because you've beaten a sorcerer, doesn't mean you've beaten a
sorcerer.
                                -- Toth-aamon
%%
Just when I finally figure out where it's at ... somebody moves it.
%%
Just when you get really good at something, you don't need to do it
anymore.
                                -- William P. Lowrey
%%
Justice always prevails ... three times out of seven!
                                -- Michael J. Wagner
%%
Justice is blind, he knows nobody.
                                -- Dryden
%%
Justice is lame as well as blind among us.
                                -- Otway
%%
Justice, like lightning, ever should appear To few men's ruin, but to
all men's fear.
                                -- Swetnam
%%
Keep cool; especially during meltdowns.
%%
Keep the juices going by jangling around gently as you move.
                                -- Satchel Paige
%%
Keep what you've got; the ills that we know are the best.
                                -- Plautus
%%
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and completely shut after the
kids grow up.
                                -- Poor Jimmy's Almanac
%%
Keep your fears to yourself; share your courage with others.
                                -- Robert Louis Stevenson
%%
Keep your sense of humor about your position.
                                -- Donald Rumsfeld
%%
Kerr's Three Rules for Trying New Foods:
 
  (1) Never try anything with tomatoes in it.
  (2) Never try anything bigger than your head.
  (3) Never, NEVER try anything that looks like vomit.
 
It is said that Kerr broke all three rules by discovering pizza.
%%
Key to Status: S=D/K.  S is the status of a person in an organization, D
is the number of doors he must open to perform his job and K is the
number of keys he carries.  A higher number denotes a higher status.
 
Examples:  The janitor needs to open 20 doors and has twenty keys (S =
1), a secretary has to open two doors with one key (S = 2), but the
president never has to carry around any keys since there is always
someone around to open doors for him (with K equal to 0 and a high D,
his S reaches infinity).
                                -- Robert Sommer
%%
Kilroy was here.
%%
  Kind hearts are more than coronets,
  And simple faith than Norman blood.
                                -- Tennyson
%%
Kiss the tear from her lip, you'll find the rose the sweeter for the
dew.
                                -- Webster
%%
Knaves will thrive when honest plainness knows not how to live.
                                -- Shirley
%%
  Knives and scissors, fork and candle,
  little children should not handle.
%%
Know that a happy dieter has other problems.
                                -- Erma Bombeck
%%
  Know then this truth, enough for man to know
  Virtue alone is happiness below.
                                -- Alexander Pope
%%
  Know then thyself; presume not God to scan;
  The proper study of mankind is man.
                                -- Alexander Pope
%%
Knowledge is power.
                                -- Bacon
%%
LIGHTWEIGHT: lighter than rugged
%%
LINEAR MODEL: An assumption concerning the nature of reality applied
unquestioningly to every relationship as though God had determined that
truth must always run in straight lines.
%%
Language is fossil poetry.
%%
Languages are the pedigrees of nations.
                                -- Johnson
%%
Large numbers of things are determined, and therefore not subject to
change.
                                -- Marion J. Levy, Jr.
%%
Last Words of Advice:  If you pay your taxes and don't get into debt and
go to bed early and never answer the telephone -- no harm can befall
you.
                                -- Professor Charles P. Issawi
%%
Last guys don't finish nice.
                                -- Stanley Kelly
%%
Last scene of all that ends this strange, eventful history, is second
childishness, and mere oblivion; sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans
everything.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
Laughter should dimple the cheek, not furrow the brow.  A jest should be
such, that all shall be able to join in the laugh which it occasions;
but if it bear hard upon one of the company, like the crack of a string,
it makes a stop in the music.
                                -- Feltham
%%
Law expands in proportion to the resources available for its
enforcement.
                                -- Dalin B. Oaks
%%
Law of Historical Causation:  "It seemed like the thing to do at the
time."
                                -- Michael Uhlmann
%%
Law of Institutional Food:  Everything is cold except what should be.
%%
Law of Institutional Food:  Everything, including the corn flakes, is
greasy.
%%
Law of Local Anesthesia:  Never say "oops" in the operating room.
                                -- Dr. Leo Troy
%%
Law of Petroleum:  Where there are Muslims, there is oil; the converse
is not true.
                                -- Professor Charles P. Issawi
%%
Law of Social Dynamics:  If, in the course of several months, only three
worthwhile social events take place, they will all fall on the same
evening.
%%
Lawrence Radiation Laboratory keeps all its data in an old gray trunk.
%%
Laws can disover sin, but not remove.
                                -- Milton
%%
Laziness is the mother of nine inventions out of ten.
                                -- Philip K. Saunders
%%
Leaders who aid others in growing are certain to experience growth in
themselves.
%%
Leadership, at its highest, consists of getting people to work for you
when they are under no obligation to do so.
%%
Learn a new language and get a new soul.
%%
Learn to be sincere.  Even if you have to fake it.
                                -- Solomon Short
%%
Learn to hold thy tongue.  Five words cost Zacharias forty weeks'
silence.
                                -- Fuller
%%
Learn to reason forward and backward on both sides of a question.
                                -- Thomas Blandi
%%
Learning maketh young men temperate, is the comfort of old age, standing
for wealth with poverty, and serving as an ornament to riches.
                                -- Cicero
%%
Left to themselves, all things go from bad to worse.
%%
Lend money to a bad debtor and he will hate you.
%%
Lend thy serious hearing to what I shall unfold.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
Lenin once observed that gold should adorn the floors of latrines.
%%
Less is more.
%%
Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.
%%
Let a man proclaim a new principle. Public sentiment will surely be on
the other side.
                                -- Thomas B. Reed
%%
Let another man praise thee, and not thine own mouth; a stranger, and
not thine own lips.
                                -- Proverbs XXVII, 2
%%
Let cavillers deny that brutes have reason; sure tis something more,
'tis heaven directs, and stratagems inspires beyond the short extent of
human thought.
                                -- Somerville
%%
Let he who takes the plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
%%
Let him turn and twist slowly in the wind.
                                -- John Ehrlichman
%%
Let honesty be as the breath of thy soul, and never forget to have a
penny, when all thy expenses are enumerated and paid; then shall thou
reach the point of happiness, and independence shall be thy shield and
buckler, thy helmet and crown; then thy soul walk upright, nor stoop to
the silken wretch because he hath riches, nor pocket an abuse, because
the hand which offers it wears a ring set with diamonds.
                                -- Benjamin Franklin
%%
  Let me have men about me that are fat;
  Sleck-headed men and such as sleep o'nights.
  Yond' Cassius has a lean and hungry look;
  He thinks too much; such men are dangerous.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
Let no man presume to give advice to others that has not first given
good counsel to himself.
                                -- Seneca
%%
Let no man value at a little price a virtuous woman's counsel; her
winged spirit is feathered often times with heavenly words, and, like
her beauty, ravishing and pure.
                                -- Chapman
%%
  Let none think to fly the danger
  For soon or late love is his own avenger.
                                -- Byron
%%
Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
%%
Let sleeping dogs lie.
%%
Let the Wookiee win!
%%
Let the soldier be abroad if he will, he can do nothing in this age.
There is another personage, a personage less imposing in the eyes of
some, perhaps insignificant.  The schoolmaster is abroad, and I trust to
him, armed with his primer, against the soldier in full military array.
                                -- Lord Brougham
%%
Let them obey that know not how to rule.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
Let us be silent, that we may hear the whispers of the gods.
                                -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Let us cling to our principles as the mariner clings to his last plank
when night and tempest close around him.
                                -- Dr. Young
%%
Let us suffer any person to tell us his story morning and evening, but
for one twelve-month, and he will become our master.
                                -- Burke
%%
  Let us, then, be up and doing,
  With a heart for any fate;
  Still achieving, still pursuing,
  Learn to labor and to wait.
                                -- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
%%
Let your humor always be good humor in both senses.  If it comes of a
bad humor, it is pretty sure not to belie its parentage.
%%
Let's just be friends and make no special effort to ever see each other
again.
%%
Letters which are warmly sealed are ofter but coldly opened.
                                -- Richter
%%
Levity is the soul of wit.
                                -- Melville D. Landon
%%
Liberals don't care what people do, as long as it's compulsory.
%%
Liberals, but not conservatives, can get attention and acclaim for
denouncing liberal policies that failed; and liberals will inevitably
capture the ensuing agenda for "reform."
                                -- John McClaughry
%%
Liberty consists in the power of doing that which is permitted by law.
                                -- Cicero
%%
Liberty don't work as good in practice as it does in speeches.
                                -- Will Rogers
%%
Liberty is always dangerous, but it is the safest thing we have.
                                -- Harry Emerson Fosdick
%%
Liberty is always unfinished business.
%%
Liberty is being free from the things we don't like in order to be
slaves to the things we do like.
                                -- Ernest Benn
%%
Liberty is so much latitude as the powerful choose to accord the weak.
                                -- Judge Learned Hand
%%
Liberty is the one thing you can't have unless you give it to others.
                                -- William Allen White
%%
Liberty means responsibility.  That is why most men dread it.
                                -- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Liberty too can corrupt, and absolute liberty can corrupt absolutely.
                                -- Gertrude Himmelfarb
%%
Liberty! Liberty! how many crimes are committed in thy name.
                                -- Madame Roland
%%
Libraries are the shrines where all the relics of the ancient saints,
full of true virtue, and that without delusion or imposture, are
preserved and reposed.
                                -- Bacon
%%
Life affords no higher pleasure than that of surmounting difficulties,
passing from one step of success to another, forming new wishes and
seeing them gratified.
                                -- Samuel Johnson
%%
Life creates it [the Force] and makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us
and binds us. Luminous beings are we ... Feel the flow. Feel the Force
around you.
                                -- Yoda
%%
Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases
to be serious when people laugh.
                                -- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even
though sometimes it is hard to realize this.
%%
Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think.
%%
Life is doubt, and faith without doubt is nothing but death.
                                -- Miguel de Unamuno
%%
Life is like an onion: you peel off layer after layer, then you find
there is nothing in it.
%%
Life is sometimes hard to love, though we must love it because we have
no other.  To fail to love it is to cease to exist.
%%
Life is to you a dashing and bold adventure.
%%
  Life's but a walking shadow -- a poor player,
  That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
  And then is heard no more.  It is a tale
  Told by idiots, full of sound and fury
  Signifying nothing.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
Lika a man made after supper of a cheese-paring; when he was naked, he
was, for all the world, like a forked radish, with a head fantastically
carved upon it with a knife.
                                -- Skakespeare
%%
Like other occult techniques of divination, the statistical method has a
private jargon deliberately contrived to obscure its methods from
non-practitioners.                      -- G. O. Ashley
%%
Like winter snow on summer lawn, time past is time gone.
%%
Literature is the grindstone to sharpen the coulters, and to whet their
natural faculties.
                                -- Hammond
%%
Little girls, like butterflies, need no excuse.
                                -- Lazarus Long
%%
Little joys refresh us constantly, like house-bread, and never bring
disgust; and great ones, like sugar-bread, briefly, and then bring it.
                                -- Richter
%%
Little progress can be made merely by repressing what is bad.  Our great
hope lies in developing what is good.
%%
Little strokes fell John B. Oakes.
                                -- Poor Jimmy's Almanac
%%
Live and let live.
%%
Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.
                                -- Josh Billings
%%
Lo! Men have become the tools of their tools.
%%
Loan-department manager:  "There isn't any fine print.  At these
interest rates, we don't need it."
%%
Logic is like the sword -- those who appeal to it shall perish by it.
                                -- Samuel Butler
%%
Logic is the art of going wrong with confidence.
                                -- Joseph Wood Krutch
%%
Logic is the soul of wit, not of wisdom; that's why wit is funny.
                                -- Lincoln Steffens
%%
Logic -- an instrument used for bolstering a prejudice.
                                -- Elbert Hubbard
%%
  Logicians have but ill defined
  As rational the human kind.
  Logic, they say, belongs to man,
  But let them prove it if they can.
                                -- Oliver Goldsmith
%%
Lonely is a man without love.
%%
Lonely men seek companionship. Lonely women sit at home and wait. They
never meet.
%%
Look at governmental programs for the past fifty years.  Every single
one -- except for warfare -- achieved the exact opposite of its
announced goal.
%%
Look on my works ye mighty -- and despair!!!
%%
Look over your shoulder now and then to be sure someone's following you.
                                -- Henry Gilmer
%%
  Look round the wrecks of play behold,
  Estates dismember'd, mortgaged, sold;
  Their owners now to jail confin'd,
  Show equal poverty of mind.
                                -- Gay
%%
Lord, when we are wrong, make us easy to change.  And when we are right,
make us easy to live with.
                                -- Peter Marshall
%%
Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none; be able for thine enemy rather
in power than use; and keep thy friend under thine own life's key; be
checked for silence, but never taxed for speech.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea.
%%
Love demands infinitely less than friendship.
                                -- George Jean Nathan
%%
Love feels no burden, thinks nothing of trouble, attempts what is above
its strength, pleads no excuse of impossibility; for it thinks all
things lawful for itself, and all things possible.  It is therefore able
to undertake all things, and it completes many things, and brings them
to a conclusion, where he who does not love, faints and lies down.
                                -- Thomas a Kempis
%%
  Love is a god
  Strong, free, unabounded, and as some define
  Fears nothing, pitieth none.
                                -- Milton
%%
Love is a passion which kindles honor into noble acts.
                                -- Dryden
%%
Love is in the offing. Be affectionate to one who adores you.
%%
Love is merely madness; and I tell you, deserves as well a dark house
and a whip, as madmen do; and the reason why they are not so punished
and cured, is that the lunacy is so ordinary, that the whippers are in
love too.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
Love is not altogether a delirium, yet it has many points in common
therewith. I call it rather a discerning of the infinite in the finite
-- of the ideal made real.
                                -- Carlyle
%%
Love is not in our choice, but in our fate.
                                -- Dryden
%%
Love is sentimental measles.
%%
Love is strong as death.  Many waters cannot quench love, neither can
the floods drown it; if a man would give all the substance of his house
for love, it would be utterly contemned.
                                -- Solomon's Song VIII, 6,7
%%
Love is the salt of life; a higher taste It gives to pleasure, and then
makes it last.
                                -- Buckingham
%%
Love laughs at locksmiths.
%%
Love me little, love me long.
                                -- Milton
%%
  Love not! Love not! the thing you love may change,
  The rosy lip may cease to smile on you,
  The kindly beaming eye grow cold and strange,
  The heart still warmly beat, and not for you.
                                -- Mrs. Norton
%%
Love that has nothing but beauty to keep it in good health is short
lived, and apt to have ague fits.
                                -- Erasmus
%%
Love the sea? I dote upon it -- from the beach.
%%
Love thy neighbor as thyself, but choose your neighborhood.
                                -- Louise Beal
%%
  Love will find its way
  Through paths where wolves would fear to prey,
  And if it dares enough 'twere hard
  If passion met not some reward.
                                -- Byron
%%
Love's like the measles -- all the worse when it comes late in life.
                                -- Jerrola
%%
Love, the sole disease thou canst not cure.
                                -- Alexander Pope
%%
Love, which proclaims thee human bids thee know a truth more lofty in
thy lowliest hour than shallow glory taught to human power, "What's
human is immortal!"
                                -- Bulwer
%%
Loyalty to a petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human
soul.
                                -- Mark Twain
%%
Luck is what enabled others to get where they are.  Talent is what
enabled us to get to where we are.
%%
  Lull'd in the ocuntless chambers of the brain,
  Our thoughts are link'd by mny a hidden chain;
  Awake but one, and lo, what myriads arise!
  Each stamps its image as the other flies.
                                -- Alesander Pope
%%
Doctor to patient:  First the good news -- you're going to have a
disease named after you.
%%
MEETS QUALITY STANDARDS: ours, not yours
%%
METHODOLOGICALLY UNSOUND: Using methodology with which I am unfamiliar.
%%
Most of the mistakes of our life come from feeling when we ought to
think and thinking when we ought to feel.
%%
Macbeth:   If we should fail --
 
Lady Macbeth: We fail?  But screw your courage to the sticking place,
And we'll not fail.
                        -- Shakespeare
%%
Machines certainly can solve problems, store information, correlate, and
play games -- but not with pleasure.          -- Leo Rosten
%%
Machines should work.  People should think.
                                -- IBM motto
%%
  Madness, we fancy, gave an illl-timed birth
  To grinning laughter and to frantic mirth.
                                -- Prior
%%
Main Article of General Systems Faith: the order of the empirical world
itself has an order which might be called order of the second degree.
                                -- Boulding
%%
Maintain eternal vigilance, small squishy thing, and kill anything that
threatens.
                                -- Viver farewell saying.
%%
Major actions are rarely decided by more than four people.  If you think
a larger meeting you're attending is really "hammering out" a decision,
you're probably wrong.  Either the decision was agreed to by a smaller
group before the meeting began, or the outcome of the larger meeting
will be modified later when three or four people get together.
                                -- Charles Wolf, Jr.
%%
Make a wish, it might come true.
%%
Make it sufficiently difficult for people to do something, and most
people will stop doing it.
                                -- Robert Sommer
%%
Make new friends but keep the old ones;  one is silver and the other's
gold.
%%
Make other people like themselves a little better and rest assured
they'll like you very much.
%%
Make the most of all that comes and the least of all that goes.
%%
Make the most of the day, by determining to spend it on two sort of
acquaintances only -- those by whom something may be got, and those from
whom something may be learned.
                                -- Colton
%%
Make yourself an honest man, and then you may be sure there is one less
rascal in the world.
                                -- Thomas Carlyle
%%
Make yourself necessary to somebody.
                                -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Malpractice makes malperfect.
                                -- Solomon Short
%%
Mammon has enriched his thousands, and has damned his ten thousands.
                                -- South
%%
Man and wife make one fool.
%%
Man had achieved FREEDOM FROM -- without yet having achieved FREEDOM TO
-- to be himself, to be productive, to be fully awake.
                                -- Erich Fromm
%%
Man has a limited biological capacity for change. When this capacity is
overwhelmed, the capacity is in future shock.
                                -- Alvin Toffler
%%
Man has lost the capacity to foresee and to forestall. He will end by
destroying the earth.
                                -- Albert Schweitzer
%%
Man is a blind, witless, low-brow, anthropocentric clod who inflicts
lesions upon the earth.
                                -- Ian McHarg
%%
Man is a thinking being, whether he will or no; all he can do is to turn
his thoughts the best way.
                                -- Sir W. Temple
%%
Man is born to trouble, as the sparks fly upward.
                                -- Job v, 7
%%
Man is by nature metaphysical and proud. He has gone so far as to think
that the idealistic creations of his mind, which correspond to his
feelings, also represent reality.
                                -- Claude Bernard
%%
Man is demolishing nature ... We are killing things that keep us alive.
                                -- Thor Heyerdahl
%%
Man is forbidden to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil.  He
acts against God's command ... From the standpoint of the Church, which
represents authority, this is essentially sin.  From the standpoint of
man, however, this is the beginning of human freedom.
                                -- Erich Fromm
%%
Man is the only animal that contemplates death, and also the only animal
that shows any sign of doubt of its finality.
                                -- William Ernest Hocking
%%
Man is the only creature endowed with the power of laughter; is he not
the only one that deserves to be laughed at?
                                -- Greville
%%
Man know thyself!  All writing centers there.
                                -- Young
%%
Man must accept responsibility for himself ... There is no meaning to
life except the meaning man gives his life by the unfolding of his
powers.
%%
Man never fastened one end of a chain around the neck of his brother,
that God's own hand did not fasten around the neck of the oppressor.
                                -- Lamartine
%%
Man proposes, God disposes.
%%
Man shall never reach his full capacity while chained to the earth. We
must take wing and conquer the heavens.
                                -- Icarus
%%
Man weeps to think that he will die so soon; woman, that she was born so
long ago.
                                -- H. L. Mencken
%%
Man's horizons are bounded by his vision.
%%
  Man's rich with little, were his judgment true;
  Nature is frugal, and her wants are few;
  These few wants, answer'd bring sincere delights;
  But fools create themselves new appetites.
                                -- Young
%%
Man-machine identity is achieved not by attributing human attributes to
the machine, but by attributing mechanical limitations to man.
%%
Management directs and controls change.
                                -- Thomas L. Martin
%%
Management is incapable of recognizing a true crisis.
                                -- Gene Franklin
%%
Management will select actions or events and convert them to crises.  It
will then over-react.                       -- Gene Franklin
%%
Mankind has become so much one family that we cannot insure our own
prosperity except by insuring that of everyone else.  If you wish to be
happy yourself, you must also resign yourself to seeing others also
happy.
                                -- Bertrand Russell
%%
Mankind would be vastly poorer if it had not been for men who were
willing to take risks against the longest odds.  Even if it could be
done, we would be foolish to try to stamp out this willingness in man to
buck seemingly hopeless odds.  Our problem is how to remain properly
venturesome and experimental without making fools of ourselves.
                                -- Bernard Baruch
%%
Many a family tree needs trimming.
%%
Many a girl at loose ends is anxious to be tied up.
%%
Many a man gets to the top of the ladder, and then finds out it has been
leaning against the wrong wall.
%%
Many a sober Christian would rather admit that a wafer is God than that
God is a cruel and capricious tyrant.
%%
Many are called, but few are chosen.
%%
Many books require no thought from those who read them, for a very
simple reason -- they made no such demand  upon those who wrote them.
Those works, therefore, are the most valuable that set our thinking
faculties in the fullest operation.
                                -- Colton
%%
Many changes of mind and mood; do not hesitate too long.
%%
Many live by their wits but few by their wit.
                                -- Laurence J. Peter
%%
Many might go to heaven with half the labor they go to hell.
                                -- Ben Johnson
%%
Many of us spend half our life wishing for things we could have if we
didn't spend half our time wishing.
                                -- Alexander Woollcott
%%
Many pages make a thick book, except for pocket bibles which are on very
very thin paper.
%%
Many people go throughout life committing partial suicide -- destroying
their talents, energies, creative qualities.  Indeed, to learn how to be
good to oneself is often more difficult than to learn how to be good to
others.
                                -- Joshua Leibman
%%
Many people have the ambition to succeed in their work; they may even
have special aptitude for their job.  And yet they do not move ahead.
Why? Perhaps they think that since they can master the job, there is no
need to master themselves.
                                -- John Stevenson
%%
Many politicians ... are in the habit of laying it down as a
self-evident proposition, that no people ought to be free till they are
fit to use their freedom.  The maxim is worthy of the fool ... who
resolved not to go into the water till he had learned to swim.
                                -- Thomas Babington Macaulay
%%
Mark this well, you proud men of action!  You are, after all, nothing
but unconscious instruments of the men of thought.
                                -- Heinrich Heine
%%
Marketing is a fashionable term.  The sales manager becomes a marketing
vice- president.  But a grave digger is still a grave digger even when
he is called a mortician -- only the price of burial goes up.
%%
Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the feast.
                                -- Colton
%%
Marriage: a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves
-- making in all two.
                                -- Ambrose Bierce
%%