From:	IN%"minow@bolt.enet.dec.com"  "Martin Minow, ML3-5/U26  14-May-1990 0944" 14-MAY-1990 13:05:17.88
To:	_TERRY
CC:	
Subj:	cookie.002

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Date: Mon, 14 May 90 09:25:16 PDT
From: "Martin Minow, ML3-5/U26  14-May-1990 0944" <minow@bolt.enet.dec.com>
Subject: cookie.002
To: address@bolt.enet.dec.com
Message-id: <9005141625.AA12272@decpa.pa.dec.com>
X-Envelope-to: terry

Art is anything you can get away with.
                                -- Marshall McLuhan.
%%
Art is your fate; don't debate.
%%
As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.
%%
As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of demand.
%%
Avert misunderstanding by calm, poise, and balance.
%%
Be self-reliant and your success is assured.
%%
Be tactful; overlook not your own opportunity.
%%
Beauty and harmony are as necessary to you as the very breath of life.
%%
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.
%%
Beauty seldom recommends one woman to another.
%%
Bedfellows make strange politicians.
%%
Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.
%%
Better to use medicines at the outset than at the last moment.
%%
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
                                -- Mae West.
%%
Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.
                                -- Thoreau.
%%
Beware of friends who are false and deceitful.
%%
Beware of quantum ducks: Quark, Quark.
%%
Blessed is he that expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.
                                -- Poor Richard.
%%
Build something that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to
use it.
                                -- C. Shaw.
%%
Business is like oil, it won't mix with anything but business.
%%
By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.
%%
By following the good, you learn to be good.
%%
Candy is dandy, but liquour is quicker.
                                -- Ogden Nash.
%%
Cheap things are of no value, valuable things are not cheap.
%%
Chicken Little only has to be right once.
%%
Common sense is very uncommon.
%%
Contact with a friend may provide some unexpected income advantages.
%%
Conversation enriches the understanding, but solitude is the school of
genius.
%%
Courage is your greatest present need.
%%
Creditors have much better memories than debtors.
%%
Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
%%
Deprive a mirror of its silver and even the Czar won't see his face.
%%
Do not clog intellect's sluices with knowledge of questionable uses.
%%
Don't be overly suspicious where it's not warranted.
%%
Don't believe in miracles, expect them.
%%
Don't get yourself involved with persons or situations that can't bear
inspection.
%%
Don't look back, always look ahead.
%%
Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac, you can always take something for
it.
%%
Draw your salary before spending it.
%%
Economy makes men independent.
%%
Enjoy your life; be pleasant and gay, like the birds in May.
%%
Even a hawk is an eagle among crows.
%%
Even the boldest zebra fears the hungry lion.
%%
Even the smallest candle burns brighter in the dark.
%%
Every purchase has its price.
%%
Everyone complains of his memory, no one of his judgment.
%%
Everything bows to success, even grammar.
%%
Executive ability is prominent in your make-up.
%%
Expect a letter from a friend who will ask a favor of you.
%%
Experience keeps a dear school, but fools will learn in no other. And
scarce in that.
                                -- Poor Richard.
%%
Faith goes out through the window when beauty comes in at the door.
%%
Far duller than a serpent's tooth it is to spend a quiet youth.
%%
Fish and visitors stink in three days.
                                -- Poor Richard.
%%
Fools make feasts and wise men eat them.
                                -- Poor Richard.
%%
For people who like that kind of book, that is the kind of book they
will like.
%%
For success today, look first to yourself.
%%
Fortune truly helps those who are of good judgment.
%%
Friendship is one soul in two bodies.
%%
From listening comes wisdom and from speaking repentance.
%%
Generosity and perfection are your everlasting goals.
%%
Go not to the elves for advice, for they will say both yes and no.
                                -- Tolkien.
%%
God gives us relatives; thank God we can chose our friends.
%%
God heals and the doctor takes the fee.
                                -- Poor Richard.
%%
God is REAL (unless declared INTEGER).
%%
God made an idiot for practice, and then He made a school board.
                                -- Mark Twain.
%%
Good health will be yours for a long time.
%%
Good news from afar can bring you a welcome visitor.
%%
Handle all business ventures with discretion so you do not end up a
loser.
%%
Happiness is just an illusion, filled with sadness and confusion.
%%
He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides.
%%
He is truly wise who gains wisdom from another's mishap.
%%
He likes to flirt, but toward you his intentions are honorable.
%%
He that falls in love with himself, will have no rivals.
                                -- Poor Richard.
%%
He that will not command his thoughts will soon lose the command of his
actions.
%%
He thinks he could easily win your heart.
%%
He walks as if balancing the family tree on his nose.
%%
He was so narrow-minded he could see through a keyhole with two eyes.
%%
He who has a shady past knows that nice guys finish last.
%%
He who has imagination without learning has wings but no feet.
%%
He who invents adages for others to peruse takes along a rowboat when
going on a cruise.
%%
He who is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.
%%
He who laughs last didn't understand the joke.
%%
He who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is not fit for the
kingdom of winners.
%%
Help fight continental drift.
%%
Here comes the orator, with his flood of words and his drop of reason.
%%
His heart was yours from the first moment that you met.
%%
His life was formal; his actions seemed ruled with a ruler.
%%
History always repeats itself: once as tragedy, the second time as
farce.
%%
History books which contain no lies are extremely dull.
%%
How many "coming men" has one known!  Where on earth do they all go to?
%%
How sharper than a hound's tooth it is to have a thankless serpent.
%%
How you look depends on where you go.
%%
Hunger never saw bad bread.
                                -- Poor Richard.
%%
I despise the pleasure of pleasing people whom I despise.
%%
I don't remember ever having had the itch, and yet scratching is one of
nature's sweet pleasures, and so handy.
%%
I fear explanations explanatory of things explained.
%%
I like work; it fascinates me; I can watch it for hours.
%%
I never fail to convince an audience that the best thing they could do
was to go away.
%%
I've given up reading books; I find it takes my mind off myself.
%%
Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like
solitary confinement.
%%
Idleness is the holiday of fools.
%%
If a town has one lawyer, he starves; if it has two lawyers, they both
get rich.
%%
If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.
%%
If it pours before seven, it has rained by eleven.
%%
If one studies too zealously, one easily loses his pants.
                                -- A. Einstein.
%%
If one word does not succeed, ten thousand are of no avail.
%%
If some people didn't tell you, you'd never know they'd been away on
vacation.
%%
If we weren't supposed to juggle, tennis balls wouldn't come three to a
can.
%%
If you always postpone pleasure you will never have it.  Quit work and
play for once.
%%
If you believe in gambling, in the end you will sell your house.
%%
If you continually give you will continually have.
%%
If you eat a live toad every morning, nothing worse will happen to you
all day.
%%
If you make a mistake you right it immediately to the best of your
ability.
%%
If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; but if you
really make them think they'll hate you.
%%
If you suspect a man, don't employ him.
%%
If you wish to succeed, consult three old people.
%%
If you wish, you will have an opportunity.
%%
If you would keep a secret from an enemy, tell it not to a friend.
%%
If your desires are not extravagant they will be granted.
%%
Imagination is more important than knowledge.
%%
In jealousy there is more self-love than love.
%%
In rivers and bad governments, the lightest things swim at top.
                                -- Poor Richard.
%%
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is insane.
%%
Integrity is praised, and starves.
%%
It is Fortune, not wisdom that rules man's life.
%%
It is a poor judge who cannot award a prize.
%%
It is better to have flunked your Wasserman test than never to have
loved at all.
%%
It is better to wear out than to rust out.
%%
It is commonly not your practice to make up your mind until the very
last minute.
%%
It is easier to run down a hill than up one.
%%
It is far better to be deceived than to be undeceived by those we love.
%%
It is fortune, not wisdom that rules man's life.
%%
It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of
work to do.
%%
It is often better not to see an insult than to avenge it.
%%
It is the wise bird who builds his nest in a tree.
%%
It is unwise to trust those you do not know well.
%%
It seems like the less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the
flag.
%%
It takes both a weapon, and two people, to commit a murder.
%%
It was a book to kill time for those who liked it better dead.
%%
It's a poor workman who blames his tools.
%%
It's clever, but is it art?
%%
It's easy to make decisions if you ignore the facts.
%%
It's later than you think, the joint Russian-American space mission has
already begun.
%%
It's not reality that's important, but how you perceive things.
%%
It's sweet to be remembered, but it's often cheaper to be forgotten.
%%
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
                                -- Poor Richard.
%%
Learn of the skillful:  he that teaches himself hath a fool for a
master.
                                -- Poor Richard.
%%
Lend money to a bad debtor and he will hate you.
%%
Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.
%%
Let he who takes the plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
%%
Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
%%
Let's just be friends and make no special effort to ever see each other
again.
%%
Life is like an onion: you peel off layer after layer, then you find
there is nothing in it.
%%
Life is to you a dashing and bold adventure.
%%
Like winter snow on summer lawn, time past is time gone.
%%
Lonely is a man without love.
%%
Lonely men seek companionship.  Lonely women sit at home and wait.  They
never meet.
%%
Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea.
%%
Love is in the offing.  Be affectionate to one who adores you.
%%
Love is sentimental measles.
%%
Love the sea? I dote upon it -- from the beach.
%%
Love, cough, and a smoke, can't be well hid.
                                -- Poor Richard.
%%
Make a wish, it might come true.
%%
Make new friends but keep the old ones;  One is silver and the other's
gold.
%%
Make this evening a memorable one.
%%
Man and wife make one fool.
%%
Man's horizons are bounded by his vision.
%%
Many a family tree needs trimming.
%%
Many changes of mind and mood; do not hesitate too long.
%%
Many pages make a thick book, except for pocket bibles which are on very
very thin paper.
%%
Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
                                -- Voltaire.
%%
Massachusetts has the best politicians money can buy.
%%
Matrimony is the root of all evil.
%%
Men do not mind a bust in the mouth if provided by beautiful voluptuous
lady!
%%
Men seldom show dimples to girls who have pimples.
%%
Might as well be frank, monsieur; it would take a miracle to get you out
of Casablanca.
%%
Misery loves company, but company does not reciprocate.
%%
Mistakes are oft the stepping stones to failure.
%%
Money cannot buy love, nor even friendship.
%%
Money will say more in one moment than the most eloquent lover can in
years.
%%
Mother is the invention of necessity.
%%
My cup hath runneth'd over with love.
%%
My interest is in the future because I am going to spend the rest of my
life there.
%%
Neither the poor nor the rich may sleep under bridges or beg in the
streets.
%%
Never call a man a fool; borrow from him.
%%
Never do anything twice that you don't have to do at all.
%%
Never drink from your finger bowl -- it contains only water.
%%
Never say you know a man until you have divided an inheritance with him.
%%
New financial propositions may be offered at the turn of the year.
%%
Nice guys get sick.
%%
Night falls when the street lights turn on.  Swedish Law.
%%
No doubt Jack the Ripper excused himself on the grounds that it was
human nature.
%%
No man can be a patriot on an empty stomach.
%%
No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
%%
Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.
%%
Occasionally, an innocent man is sent to the legislature.
%%
Of all forms of caution, caution in love is the most fatal.
%%
Often statistics are used as a drunken man uses lampposts -- for support
rather than illumination.
%%
Old men are fond of giving good advice to console themselves for their
inability to give bad examples.
%%
One family builds a wall, two families enjoy it.
%%
One man tells a falsehood, a hundred repeat it as true.
%%
One peek is worth a thousand finesses.
%%
Only someone with nothing to be sorry for smiles back at the rear of an
elephant.
%%
Ours is a world where people don't know what they want and are willing
to go through hell to get it.
%%
People who have no faults are terrible; there is no way of taking
advantage of them.
%%
People who take cat naps don't usually sleep in a cat's cradle.
%%
People will buy anything that's one to a customer.
%%
People will laugh at you, but let not that prevent you.
%%
Please all, and you will please none.
%%
Please follow more cautiously Life's Golden Rule.
%%
Premature withdrawal may lead to loss of interest.
%%
Preserve the old, but know the new.
%%
Pride dines upon Vanity, sups on Contempt.
                                -- Poor Richard.
%%
Pride invites calamity; humility reaps its harvest.
%%
Promptness is its own reward, if one lives by the clock instead of the
sword.
%%
Publishing a volume of verse is like dropping a rose petal down the
Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo.
%%
Put not your trust in money, but put your money in trust.
%%
Put your brain in gear before starting your mouth.
%%
Put your trust in those who are worthy.
%%
Recent investments will yield a slight profit.
%%
Reputation:  what others are not thinking about you.
%%
Revenge is a dish best eaten cold.
%%
Satire does not look pretty upon a tombstone.
%%
Satire is what closes in New Haven.
%%
Seek companionship, love and social activity at home.
%%
Seek domestic happiness and faithful friends.
%%
Sex is nothing but Love misunderstood.
%%
Share your happiness with others today.
%%
She that paints her face thinks of her tail.
                                -- Poor Richard.
%%
She's learned to say things with her eyes that others waste time putting
into words.
%%
Show your affection, which will probably meet with pleasant response.
%%
Simplicity and clarity should be your theme in dress.
%%
Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle which fits them all.
%%
Smile, you're on candid cookie.
%%
Some men are discovered; others are found out.
%%
Some rise by sin and some by virtue fall.
%%
Someone is speaking well of you.
%%
Someone is unenthusiastic about your work.
%%
Someone whom you reject today, will reject you tomorrow.
%%
Standing on your head makes a smile of a frown, but the rest of your
face is also upside down.
%%
Stop day dreaming about success. Go out and obtain it.
%%
Stop searching forever. Happiness is just next to you.
%%
Stop searching forever. Happiness is unattainable.
%%
Stupidity is not an impeachable offense.
%%
Take advantage of the pleasurable opportunities that come your way.
%%
Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of
themselves.
%%
That must be wonderful!  I don't understand it at all.
%%
The actions of your companion or close allies will help you to make an
important decision.
%%
The attacker must vanquish; the defender need only survive.
%%
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the
average man can see better than he can think.
%%
The best laid schemes o' mice and men gang aft a-glay.
%%
The best prophet of the future is the past.
%%
The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
%%
The brave man is known only in war; the wise man in anger; the friend in
time of need.
%%
The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a
tedious book.
%%
The early bird gets the early worm.
%%
The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my
tongue.
%%
The fish that escaped is the big one.
%%
The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn't been asleep.
%%
The grand leap of the whale up the Fall of Niagra is esteemed, by all
who have seen it, as one of the finast spectacles in nature.
                                -- B. Franklin.
%%
The hardest thing is to disguise your feelings when you put a lot of
relatives on the train for home.
%%
The heart is wiser than the intellect.
%%
The information in this cookie is subject to change without notice and
should not be construed as a commitment by Digital Equipment
Corporation.
%%
The interesting thing about a waltzing bear is not how well it dances.
%%
The light of a hundred stars does not equal the light of the moon.
%%
The luck that is ordained for you will be coveted by others.
%%
The man who sets out to carry a cat by its tail learns something that
will always be useful and which never will grow dim or doubtful.
                                -- Mark Twain.
%%
The minute a man is convinced that he is interesting, he isn't.
%%
The moving finger writhes and, having writhed, moves on.
%%
The next sentence is true.  The previous sentence is false.
%%
The next dreadful thing to a battle lost is a battle won.
%%
The only rose without thorns is friendship.
%%
The order and connection of ideas is the same as the order and
connection of things.
%%
The person you rejected yesterday could make you happy, if you say yes.
%%
The plural of spouse is spice.
%%
The rich get rich, and the poor get poorer.  The haves get more, the
have-nots die.
%%
The rich get richer; the poor get babies.
%%
The star of riches is shining upon you.
%%
The time is right to make new friends.
%%
The time is right to pursue your endeavors.
%%
The universe is laughing behind your back.
%%
The value of knowledge lies not in its accumulation, but in its
utilization.
%%
The weed of crime bears bitter fruit.
%%
The wise shepherd never trusts his flock to a smiling wolf.
%%
The worst wheel of the cart makes the most noise.
                                -- Poor Richard.
%%
There are few people more often in the wrong than those who cannot
endure to be thought so.
%%
There are many people today who literally do not have a close personal
friend.
%%
There are more old drunkards than old doctors.
%%
There are more ways of killing a cat than choking her with cream.
%%
There are no ugly loves, nor handsome prisons.
                                -- Poor Richard.
%%
There are three things I have always loved and never understood -- art,
music, and women.
%%
There is always someone worse off than yourself.
%%
There is many a good man to be found under a shabby hat.
%%
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear.
%%
There is no vaccine against stupidity.
%%
There will always be some delightful mysteries in your life.
%%
There will be big changes for you but you will be happy.
%%
There's at least one fool in every married couple.
%%
There's so much to say but your eyes keep interrupting me.
%%
Think twice before speaking. But don't say "think think click click".
%%
Those of you who think you know everything are annoying those of us who
do.
%%
Those who are prospering do not argue about taxes.
%%
Those who can, do; those who can't, teach; and those who can't teach,
teach teachers.
%%
To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.
%%
To criticize the incompetent is easy; it is more difficult to criticize
the competent.
%%
  To do is to be -- Nietzsche.
  To be is to do -- Sartre.
  Do be do be do -- Sinatra.
%%
To every Phd. there is an equal and opposite Phd.
                                -- B. Duggan.
%%
To give happines is to deserve happiness.
%%
To keep your friends treat them kindly; to kill them, treat them often.
%%
To laugh at men of sense is the privilege of fools.
%%
To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.
%%
To refuse praise is to seek praise twice.
%%
To save a single life is better than to build a seven story pagoda.
%%
Today is a good day to bribe a high ranking public official.
%%
Traveler, there is no path, paths are made by walking.
%%
True happiness will be found only in true love.
%%
Trust him, but still keep your eyes open.
%%
Try to divide your time evenly to keep others happy.
%%
Try to value useful qualities in one who loves you.
%%
Vodka is the best way to cook potatoes.  You get all the flavor of the
potato and don't even have to put in your false teeth.
                                -- Albert Engstrom.
%%
Valuable insights and your persuasive ability achieve results.
%%
Watch out for the old mortar in the rocks in the fourteenth hole trick.
%%
We prefer to speak evil of ourselves than not speak of ourselves at all.
%%
We promise according to our hopes, and perform according to our fears.
%%
We read to say that we have read.
%%
Wealth is not his that has it, but his that enjoys it.
                                -- Poor Richard.
%%
Wed in haste, repent in leasure.
%%
What makes us so bitter against people who outwit us is that they think
themselves cleverer than we are.
%%
What no spouse of a writer can ever understand is that a writer is
working when he's staring out the window.
%%
What orators lack in depth they make up in length.
%%
What passes for woman's intuition is often nothing more than man's
transparency.
%%
What this country needs is a dime that will buy a good five-cent bagel.
%%
When God endowed human beings with brains, He did not intend to
guarantee them.
%%
When the weight of the paperwork equals the weight of the airplane, the
plane will fly.
                                -- Donald Douglas.
%%
When the wind is great, bow before it; when the wind is heavy, yield to
it.
%%
When there's marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.
                                -- Poor Richard.
%%
When you become used to never being alone, you may consider yourself
Americanized.
%%
When you go out to buy, don't show your silver.
%%
Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes.
%%
Who knows a fool, must know his brother; for one will recommend another.
                                -- Poor Richard.
%%
Why did the Lord give us so much quickness of movement unless it was to
avoid responsibility?
%%
Wisdom and good sense guard life from harm.
%%
With a mind like yours, who needs a body.
%%
With clothes the new are best, with friends the old are best.
%%
Without fools there would be no wisdom.
%%
Without health you cannot enjoy wealth or happiness.
%%
Woman was God's second mistake.
                                -- Nietzsche.
%%
Words are the voice of the heart.
%%
Words must be weighed, not counted.
%%
Worth seeing?  Yes, but not worth going to see.
%%
You are a bundle of energy always on the go.
%%
You are a general favorite among your many friends.
%%
You are a person of firm, yet honest intentions.
%%
You are always busy.
%%
You are an individual interested in foreward thrust and the future.
%%
You are broad minded and socially active.
%%
You are capable of planning your future.
%%
You are careful and systematic in your business arrangements.
%%
You are clever, alert, and intellectual.
%%
You are deeply attached to your friends and acquaintances.
%%
You are dishonest, but never to the point of hurting a friend.
%%
You are fairminded, just and loving.
%%
You are faithful to duty, adaptable to environment, loyal to friends.
%%
You are farsighted, a good planner, an ardent lover, and a faithful
friend.
%%
You are fixed in your opinions and will not be easily moved from your
purpose.
%%
You are generous and always think of the other fellow.
%%
You are going to have a new love affair.
%%
You are heading for a land of sunshine.
%%
You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
%%
You are interested in higher education whether material or spiritual.
%%
You are magnetic in your bearing.
%%
You are never selfish with your advice or your help.
%%
You are next in line for promotion in your firm.
%%
You are scrupulously honest, frank, and straightforward.
%%
You are secretive in your dealings but never to the extent of trickery.
%%
You are standing on my toes.
%%
You are the center of every group's attention.
%%
You are tricky, but never to the point of dishonesty.
%%
You are versatile, energetic, artistic and good-natured.
%%
You are witty and fond of fun.
%%
You attempt things that you do not even plan because of your extreme
stupidity.
%%
You can do very well in speculation where land or anything to do with
earth is concerned.
%%
You can get more things done with a kind word and a gun than with a kind
word alone.
                                -- Al Capone.
%%
You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.
%%
You cannot propel youself forward by patting yourself on the back.
%%
You display the wonderful traits of charm and courtesy.
%%
You enjoy the company of other people.
%%
You have a deep appreciation of the arts and music.
%%
You have a deep interest in all that is artistic.
%%
You have a reputation for being thoroughly reliable and trustworthy.
%%
You have a strong appeal for members of the opposite sex.
%%
You have a strong desire for a home and your family interests come
first.
%%
You have a truly strong individuality.
%%
You have a will that can be influenced by all with whom you come in
contact.
%%
You have a yearning for perfection.
%%
You have an ability to sense and know higher truth.
%%
You have an ambitious nature and may make a name for yourself.
%%
You have an unusual equipment for success.  Be sure to use it properly.
%%
You have an unusual magnetic personality.
%%
You have an unusual understanding of the problems of human relationship.
%%
You have been selected for a secret mission.
%%
You have had a long-term stimulation relative to business.
%%
You have literary talent that you should take pains to develop.
%%
You have many friends and very few enemies.
%%
You have no real enemies.
%%
You have the attitude of a winner.
%%
You have the power to influence all with whom you come in contact.
%%
You like participating in competitive sports.
%%
You like to form new friendships and make new acquaintances.
%%
You love peace.
%%
You love your home and want it to be beautiful.
%%
You may attend a party where strange customs prevail.
%%
You may be conservative, cautious and practical.
%%
You may give a man an office, but you cannot give him discretion.
                                -- Poor Richard.
%%
You must be patient for a little while.
%%
You need not worry about your future.
%%
You never hesitate to tackle the most difficult problems.
%%
You plan things that you do not even attempt because of your extreme
caution.
%%
You prefer the company of the opposite sex, but are well liked by your
own.
%%
You recoil from the crude; you tend naturally toward the exquisite.
%%
You seek to shield those you love and you like the role of the provider.
%%
You shall be rewarded for a dastardly deed.
%%
You understand human nature and sympathize with its weakness.
%%
You will always be successful in your business or professional career.
%%
You will always get what you want through your charm and personality.
%%
You will always have good luck in your personal affairs.
%%
You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home.
%%
You will be a great success both in the business world and society.
%%
You will be a guest at a happy party that'll have important consequences
for you.
%%
You will be aided greatly by a person whom you thought to be
unimportant.
%%
You will be awarded a medal for disregarding safety in saving someone.
%%
You will be awarded some great honor.
%%
You will be called upon to help a friend in trouble.
%%
You will be given a post of trust and responsibility.
%%
You will be honored for contributing your time and skill to a worthy
cause.
%%
You will be made happy by receipt of good news.
%%
You will be married within a year.
%%
You will be proud in manner but tolerant and generous.
%%
You will be recognized and honored as a community leader.
%%
You will be singled out for promotion in your work.
%%
You will be successful in love.
%%
You will be successful in your work.
%%
You will be surprised by a loud noise.
%%
You will be surrounded by luxury.
%%
You will be traveling and coming into a fortune.
%%
You will be unusually successful in business.
%%
You will engage in a profitable business activity.
%%
You will engage in a profitable friendship.
%%
You will enjoy the high praise of solving a problem of long standing.
%%
You will gain money by a speculation or lottery.
%%
You will have good luck and overcome many hardships.
%%
You will have long and healthy life.
%%
You will have many friends when you use a corkscrew.
%%
You will hear good news from one you thought unfriendly to you.
%%
You will inherit some money or a small piece of land.
%%
You will marry your present lover and be happy.
%%
You will meet an important person who will help you advance
professionally.
%%
You will never know hunger.
%%
You will overcome the attacks of jealous associates.
%%
You will probably marry after a very brief courtship.
%%
You will receive a legacy which will place you above want.
%%
You will receive a present, over which you will shed tears of joy.
%%
You will secure the greatest degree of happiness if you marry young.
%%
You will soon meet a person who will play an important role in your
life.
%%
You will soon take that long awaited vacation.
%%
You will step on the soil of many countries.
%%
You will triumph over your enemy.
%%
You will visit some faraway land that has long been in your waking
thoughts.
%%
You will win success in whatever calling you adopt.
%%
Your aims are high, and you are capable of much.
%%
Your are the guiding star of his existence.
%%
Your business will assume vast proportions.
%%
Your depth of comprehension may tend to make you lax in worldly ways.
%%
Your domestic life may be harmonious.
%%
Your first impressions of people are best.
%%
Your happiness is intertwined with your outlook on life.
%%
Your heart is pure, and your mind clear, and your soul devout.
%%
Your help will be needed in an embarrassing situation.
%%
Your long forgotten kindness to someone will bring a substantial sum of
money.
%%
Your love life will be happy and harmonious.
%%
Your lover will never wish to leave you.
%%
Your mind understands what you have been taught; your heart, what is
true.
%%
Your mode of life will be changed for the better because of good news
soon.
%%
Your mode of life will be changed for the better because of new
developments.
%%
Your nature demands love and your happiness depends on it.
%%
Your next acquaintance will be the right one.
%%
Your own qualities will help prevent your advancement in the world.
%%
Your place in the path of life is in the driver's seat.
%%
Your present plans will be successful.
%%
Your reasoning powers are good, and you are a fairly good planner.
%%
Your society will be sought by people of taste and refinment.
%%
Your talents will be recognized and suitably rewarded.
%%
Your temporary financial embarassment will be relieved in a surprising
manner.
%%
"A loaf of bread", the Walrus said, "is what we chiefly need."
%%
"As a matter of fact" is an expression that precedes many an expression
that isn't.
%%
"Beware the [lobbyist], my son, the jaws that bite, the claws that
snatch" (with thanks to Lewis Carroll).  No matter how noble the cause
or well meaning its professional advocates, lobbyists are still paid to
get results. They're subject to errors in judgement, shortcomings in
motives, and most of them don't even vote in your district.
                                -- Pierre S. du Pont
%%
"But officer, I was only trying to gain enough speed so I could coast to
the nearest gas station."
%%
"Give us the man," shouts the multitude, "who will step forward and take
the responsibility."  He is instantly the idol, the lord, and the king
among men. He, then, who would command among his fellows, must excel
them more in energy or will than in power of intellect.
                                -- Burnap
%%
"Go to Hell!" or other insult direct is all the answer a snoopy question
deserves.
                                -- Lazarus Long
%%
"I don't think they could put him in a mental hospital.  On the other
hand, if he were already in, I don't think they'd let him out."
%%
"I must do something" will always solve more problems than "Something
must be done."
%%
"Lord, please let me find a one-armed economist so we won't always hear
'On the other hand...'"
                                -- Edgar R. Fiedler
%%
"Right reason," by which Cicero meant an "immediate and intuitive
apprehension of moral and spiritual values," of what is right and just
and what is wrong and unjust, was in the nature of things placed by God
in all men; and no decree or legislative enactment could change what is
right and what is wrong.
                                -- Forrest MacDonald
%%
"Send for clips to see how I write.  If you don't, frogs will sneak into
your house and eat your fingers."
                                -- John Corcoran
%%
"The student in question is performing minimally for his peer group and
is an emerging underachiever."
%%
"Truth," I cried, "though the heavens crush me for following her; no
falsehood, though a whole celestial Lubberland were the price of
apostacy!"
                                -- Carlyle
%%
"When a fellow can't read, he's got to think."
%%
"Whom are you?" said he, for he had been to night school.
                                -- George Ade
%%
"Why should I?" is the cry of work dodgers.  Their aim is to just enough
to get by.  They are clock watchers who are afraid they will render more
service than they are paid to perform.  They are too lazy to think, too
selfish to put their shoulders to the wheel in a common cause.
%%
$100 placed at 7 percent interest compounded quarterly for 200 years
will increase to more than $100,000,000 -- by which time it will be
worth nothing.
                                -- Lazarus Long
%%
'Tis a common proof, that lowliness is Edward Young ambition's ladder,
whereto the climber upwards turns his face; but when he once attains the
utmost round, he then unto the ladder turns his back, looks into the
clouds scorning the base degrees by which he did ascend.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
'Tis better that a man's own works, than that another man's words should
praise him.
                                -- L'Estrange
%%
  'Tis distance lends enchantment to the view,
  And robes the mountain in its azure hue.
                                -- Campbell
%%
  'Tis easier for the generous to forgive,
  Than for offence to ask it.
                                -- Thomson
%%
  'Tis education forms the common mind.
  Just as the twig is bent, the tree's inclin'd
                                -- Alexander Pope
%%
  'Tis home felt pleasure prompts the patriot's sigh;
  This makes him wish to live and dare to die.
                                -- Campbell
%%
  'Tis in my memory lock'd,
   And you yourself shall keep the key of it.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
  'Tis late before
   The brave despair.
                                -- Thomson
%%
  'Tis not in mortals to command success;
   But we'll do more, Sempronius -- we'll deserve it.
                                -- Addison
%%
  'Tis not the fairest form that holds
    The mildest, purest soul within;
  'Tis not the richest plant that holds
    The sweetest fragrance in.
                                -- Dawes
%%
'Tis one thing to be tempted, another thing to fall.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
  'Tis pleasant, sure, to see one's name in print;
   A book's a book, although there's nothing in't.
                                -- Lord Byron
%%
  'Tis strange the miser should his cares employ
  To gain the riches he can ne'er enjoy.
                                -- Alexander Pope
%%
'Tis the mind that makes the body rich.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
(a) Completion of any task within the allocated time and budget does not
bring credit upon the performing personnel -- it merely proves the task
was easier than expected;
 
(b) failure to complete any task within the allocated time and budget
proves the task was more difficult than expected and requires promotion
for those in charge.
%%
(c) Handbook of Robotics, 56th Edition, 2058
 
    A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow
    a human being to come to harm.
 
    A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except
    where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
 
    A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection
    does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.
%%
... One sip of this will bathe the drooping spirits in delights beyond
dreams of bliss.
%%
... Survival demands collective action; "alone" is for gravestones in
hacker's cemeteries.
%%
... [concerning " marks] even if we DID quote anybody in this business,
it probably would be gibberish.
                                -- Thom Mcleod
%%
... and living was just a way of passing time until he died.
                                -- Hamish Sankov
%%
... and oftener changed their principles than their shirts.
                                -- Dr. Young
%%
... cost consciousness and sophisticated design are basically
incompatible.
                                -- Richard F. Moore
%%
... high salaries equals happiness equals project success.
                                -- Richard F. Moore
%%
... it is not through sin that he opposes God. The Devil's strategy for
our times is to make trivial human existence and to isolate us from one
another while creating the delusion that the reasons are time pressures,
work demands, or economic anxieties.
%%
... persons who would be placed outside the pale of society with
contempt are not those who would be placed there by another culture.
                                -- Ruth Benedict
%%
... that peculiar disease of intellectuals, that infatuation with ideas
at the expense of experience that compels experience to conform to
bookish preconceptions.
%%
... the less management demands of engineers and scientists, the greater
their productivity.
                                -- Richard F. Moore
%%
... there being nothing more evident than that creatures of the same
species ... should be equal amongst one another without subordination or
subjection...
                                -- John Locke
%%
11-PDP eht edisni deppart ma I !pleH
%%
7:30, Channel 5: The Bionic Dog (Action/Adventure) The Bionic Dog drinks
too much and kicks over the National Redwood Forest.
%%
7:30, Channel 5: The Bionic Dog (Action/Adventure) The Bionic Dog gets a
hormonal short-circuit and violates the Mann Act with an interstate
Greyhound bus.
%%
8:30 Chan. 7: Bewitched.  Tabitha gets carsick and turns Darin into a
plastic bag.
%%
90 percent of everything is crud.
                                -- Theodore Sturgeon
%%
9:00 Chan. 5: I Dream of Jeanie.  Jeanie and Major Nelson discover new
things to do with Jeanie's bottle.
%%
A "critic" is a person who creates nothing and thereby feels qualified
to judge the work of creative people. There is logic in this; he is
unbiased -- he hates all creative people equally.
                                -- Lazarus Long
%%
A "pacifist" is a contradiction in terms. Most self-described pacifists
are not pacific; they simply assume false colors. When the wind changes
they hoist the Jolly Roger.
                                -- Lazarus Long
%%
A Democratic nation, at least when organized to secure the political
rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, can be a large
and populous nation.
                                -- Michael Scully
%%
A God alone can comprehend a God.
                                -- Young
%%
A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.
%%
A White House well filled, a little peanut field well tilled, and a wife
who will go to the Bronx are great riches.
                                -- Poor Jimmy's Almanac
%%
A army's effectiveness depends on its size, training, experience and
morale ... and morale is worth more than all the other factors combined.
                                -- Napoleon Bonaparte
%%
Rule of Golf: A ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the
tree. Hitting a tree  is simply bad luck and has no place in a
scientific game.  The player should  estimate the distance the ball
would have traveled if it had not hit the tree  and play the ball from
there, preferably atop a nice firm tuft of grass.
                                -- Donald A. Metz
%%
Rule of Golf:  A ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted
and placed in the  fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried
or rolled into the rough.  Such veering right or left frequently results
from friction between the face  of the club and the cover of the ball
and the player should not be penalized  for the erratic behavior of the
ball resulting from such uncontrollable  physical phenomena.
                                -- Donald A. Metz
%%
A baseball player who makes a spectacular defensive play always leads
off the next inning as batter.
                                -- Bob Smith
%%
A bathroom hook will be loaded to capacity immediately upon becoming
available. This also applies to freeways, closets, playgrounds, downtown
hotels, taxis, parking lots, bookcases, wallets, purses, pockets, pipe
racks, basement shelves, and so on.  The list is endless.
                                -- John Joyce
%%
A beautiful eye makes silence eloquent, a kind eye makes contradiction
an assent, an enraged eye makes beauty deformed.  This little member
gives life to every part about us; and I believe the story of Argus
implies no more, than the eye is in every part; that is to say, every
other part would be mutilated, were not its force represented more by
the eye than even by itself.
                                -- Addison
%%
A bee is not a busier animal than a blockhead.
                                -- Alexander Pope
%%
A bird in the hand is dead.
                                -- Rhonda Boozer
%%
A bird in the hand is finger-licking good.
%%
A bird in the hand is safer than two overhead.
%%
A bitter jest, when the satire comes too near the truth, leaves a sharp
sting behind.
                                -- Tacitus
%%
A bottle of sweat for every bottle of wine.
%%
A brave man is sometimes a desperado; a bully is always a coward.
                                -- Haliburton
%%
A brute kills for pleasure. A fool kills from hate.
%%
A bureaucrat's castle is his desk ... and parking place.  Proceed
cautiously when changing either.
                                -- Douglas Evelyn
%%
A camel looks like a horse that was planned by a committee.
                                -- Vogue Magazine
%%
A carelessly planned project takes three times longer to complete than
expected; a carefully planned project will take only twice as long.
%%
A chain is only as strong as its weakest link.
%%
A characteristic of the normal child is he doesn't act that way very
often.
%%
A chase always involves two parts:  first breaking contact, second the
retiring action to divorce oneself from the incident.
                                -- Robert A. Heinlein
%%
A chicken doesn't stop scratching just because the worms are scarce.
                                -- John Peers
%%
A child miseducated is a child lost.
                                -- John F. Kennedy
%%
A Christian in this world is but gold in the ore; at death the pure gold
is melted out and separated and the dross cast away and consumed.
                                -- Flavel
%%
A christian is the highest style of man.
                                -- Young
%%
A clean limerick is a contradiction in terms.
%%
A clown is a clown and will always be a clown.
                                -- Babbaluche the cobbler
%%
A college education shows a man how little other people know.
                                -- Haliburton
%%
A column about errors will contain errors.
                                -- Bill Gold
%%
A committee is a life form with six or more legs and no brain.
%%
A committee is a thing which takes a week to do what one good man can do
in an hour.
                                -- Elbert Hubbard
%%
A company is known by the people it keeps.
%%
A component's degree of reliability is directly proportional to its ease
of accessibility; i. e., the harder it is to get to, the more often it
breaks down.
                                -- Jonathan Waddell
%%
A compromise is the art of dividing the cake in such a way that each one
thinks he is getting the biggest piece.
%%
A consultant is an ordinary person a long way from home.
%%
A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper.
                                -- John M. Dyer
%%
A coup that is known in advance is a coup that does not take place.
%%
A cow eats without a knife.
%%
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
                                -- Marvin Kitman
%%
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of
nothing.
                                -- Oscar Wilde
%%
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
                                -- H. L. Mencken
%%
A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen lantern.
                                -- Edgar A. Shoaff
%%
A cynic is one who will laugh at anything so long as it isn't funny.
%%
A deaf ear is the first symptom of a closed mind.
%%
A diplomat and a stage magician are the two professions that have to
have a high silk hat. All the tricks that either one of them have are in
the hat, and all are known to other diplomats and magicians.
%%
A diplomat's life is made up of three things: protocol, Geritol, and
alcohol.
%%
A disagreeable task is its own reward.
%%
A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.
                                -- James H. Boren
%%
A dull mind, once arriving at an inference that flatters a desire, is
rarely able to retain the impression that the notion from which the
inference started was purely problematic.
                                -- George Eliot
%%
A fail-safe circuit will destroy others.
%%
A fake fortune teller can be tolerated. But an authentic soothsayer
should be shot on sight. Cassandra did not get half the kicking around
she deserved.
                                -- Lazarus Long
%%
A falling body always rolls to the most inaccessable spot.
                                -- Theodore M. Bernstein
%%
A fellow-feeling makes one wondrous kind.
                                -- Garrick
%%
A few books are alright, like wine, but too much can be bad.  Books
break down brains.
%%
A fire eater must eat fire even if he has to kindle it himself.
                                -- Salvor Hardin
%%
A fit or anger is as fatal to dignity as a dose of arsenic to life.
                                -- Dr. Holland
%%
A five minutes before the hour, a student will ask a question requiring
a ten minute answer.
                                -- M. M. Johnston
%%
A flattering painter, who made it his care to draw men as they ought to
be, not as they are.
                                -- Oliver Goldsmith
%%
A fool in high station is like a man on the top of a high mountain:
everything appears small to him and he appears small to everybody.
                                -- Professor Leader W. Matsch
%%
  A fool, indeed, has great need of a title,
  It teaches men to call him count and duke,
  And to forget his proper name of fool.
                                -- Crowne
%%
A foot is a device for finding furniture in the dark.
%%
A free people always has the right to dismiss its rulers -- whom it
regards as its servants -- at any time.             -- Harry V. Jaffa
%%
A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular.
                                -- Adlai Stevenson
%%
  A friend in need
  Is a friend indeed.
%%
A friend of mine stopped smoking, drinking, overeating, and chasing
women -- all at the same time.  It was a lovely funeral.
%%
A friend to everybody is a friend to nobody.
%%
A friend will let you hold the ladder while he goes up on the roof to
install your new TV antenna, which is the biggest son of a bitch you
ever saw.
%%
A friend will refrain from telling you he picked up the same amount of
life insurance coverage you did for the half the price and his is
non-cancelable.
%%
  A gen'ral sets his army in array
  In vain, unless he fight and win the day.
                                -- Denham
%%
A generation which ignores history has no past -- and no future.
%%
A gentleman has ease without familiarity, is respectful without
meanness; genteel without affectation, insinuating without seeming art.
                                -- Chesterfield
%%
A gentleman is a man who can support his own weight on his hands.
%%
A gift of flowers will soon be made to you.
%%
A good book is the precious life-blood of a master spirit, embalmed and
treasured up on purpose to a life beyond life.
                                -- Milton
%%
A good cook is like a sorceress who dispenses happiness.
                                -- Else Schiaparelli
%%
A good dinner sharpens wit, while it softens the heart.
                                -- Doran
%%
A good imitation is the most perfect originality.
                                -- Voltaire
%%
A good leader inspires others with confidence in him; a great leader
inspires them with confidence in themselves.
%%
A good name will wear out; a bad one may be turned; a nickname lasts
forever.
                                -- Zimmerman
%%
A good neighbor is one who will watch your vacation slides all evening
without telling you that he has been there.
%%
A good place to start is where you are.
                                -- Charles Wolf, Jr.
%%
A good teacher has been defined as one who makes himself progressively
unnecessary.
                                -- Thomas J. Carruthers
%%
A good word is an easy obligation, but not to speak ill, requires only
our silence, which costs us nothing.
                                -- Tillotson
%%
  A goodly apple rotten at the heart;
  O, what a goodly outside falsehood hath!
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
A grave, wherever found, preaches a short and pithy sermon to the soul.
                                -- Hawthorne
%%
  A gray eye is still and sly;
  A rougish eye is the brown;
  The eye of blue is ever true;
  But in the black eye's sparkling spell
  Mystery and mischief dwell.
%%
A great fortune is a great slavery.
                                -- Seneca
%%
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely
rearranging their prejudices.
%%
A great source of error is the judging of events by abstract
calculations, which though geometrically true are false as they relate
to the concerns of beings governed more by passions and prejudice than
by an enlightened sense of their interests.
                                -- Alexander Hamilton
%%
A guy has to get fresh once in a while so the girl doesn't lose her
confidence.
%%
A habit of sneering marks the egotist, or the fool, or the knave, or all
three.
                                -- Lavater
%%
A heart unspotted is not easily daunted.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
A house is never perfectly furnished for enjoyment, unless there is a
child in it rising three years old, and a kitten rising six weeks.
                                -- Southey
%%
  A hundred mouths, a hundred tongues,
  And throats of brass, inspired with iron lungs.
                                -- Virgil
%%
A journalist is a grumbler, a censurer, a giver of advice, a regent of
sovereigns, a tutor of nations.  Four hostile newspapers are more to be
feared than a thousand bayonets.
                                -- Napoleon Bonaparte
%%
A kick, that scarce would move a horse may kill a sound divine.
                                -- Cowper
%%
A king that would not feel his crown too heavy for him, must wear it
every day; but if he think it too light, he knoweth not of what metal it
is made.
                                -- Bacon
%%
A king's castle is his home.
%%
A leader is best when people barely know he exists ... When his work is
done, his aim fulfilled, they will say, "We did this ourselves."
                                -- Lao-Tse
%%
A lie in time saves nine.
%%
A lie should be trampled on and extinguished wherever found.  I am for
fumigating the atmosphere, when I suspect that falsehood, like
pestilence, breathes around me.
                                -- Carlyle
%%
A light heart lives long.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
A light supper, a good night's sleep and a fine morning have often made
a hero out of the same man, who, by indigestion, a restless night and a
rainy morning would have proved a coward.
                                -- Chesterfield
%%
A lion among ladies is a most fearful thing; for there is not a more
fearful wild-fowl than your lion living.       -- Shakespeare
%%
A little ambiguity never hurt anyone.
                                -- Charles Suhor
%%
A little help at the right time is better than a lot of help at the
wrong time.
                                -- Tevye
%%
A little humility is arrogance.
                                -- Bill Gray
%%
A little ignorance can go a long way.
                                -- Solomon Short
%%
A little learning is a dangerous thing!
                                -- Alexander Pope
%%
A little neglect may breed great mischief ... for the want of a shah,
Iran was lost; for the want of Iran, the hostages were lost; and for the
want of the hostages, I'd be lost.
                                -- Poor Jimmy's Almanac
%%
A little philosophy inclineth man's mind to atheism, but depth of
philosophy bringeth a man's mind about to religion.
                                -- Bacon
%%
A lost ounce of gold may be found, a lost moment of time never.
%%
A lot of what appears to be progress is just so much technological
rococo.
                                -- Bill Gray
%%
A lover's like a hunter -- if the game be got with too much ease he
cares not for't.
                                -- Mead
%%
A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more
than he can chew.
                                -- Herb Caen
%%
A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.
                                -- Butler
%%
A man devoid of religion, is like a horse without a bridle.
%%
A man has no more right to say an uncivil thing, than to act one; no
more right to say a rude thing to another, than to knock him down.
                                -- Johnson
%%
A man he seems of cheerful yesterdays and confident tomorrows.
                                -- Wordsworth
%%
A man is never astonished that he doesn't know what another does, but he
is surprised at the gross ignorance of the other in not knowing what he
does.
                                -- Haliburton
%%
A man must first govern himself ere he be fit to govern a family, and
his family ere he be fit to bear the government in the commonwealth.
                                -- Sir Walter Raliegh
%%
A man never discloses his own character so clearly as when he describes
another's.
                                -- Jean Paul Richter
%%
A man said to the universe, "Sir, I exist."  "However," replied the
universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."
                                -- Stephen Crane
%%
A man should be careful never to tell tales of himself to his own
disadvantage; people may be amused, and laugh at the time, but they will
be remembered, and brought up against him upon some subsequent occasion.
                                -- Johnson
%%
A man should be greater than some of his parts.
%%
A man should choose a woman and an ox from his own country.
%%
A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is
but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was
yesterday.
                                -- Pope
%%
A man should not allow himself to hate even his enemies, because if you
indulge this passion on some occasions, it will rise of itself in
others; if you hate your enemies, you will contract such a vicious habit
of mind, as by degrees will break out upon those who are your friends,
or those who are indifferent to you.
                                -- Plutarch
%%
A man who can't mind his own business is not to be trusted with the
king's.
                                -- Saville
%%
A man who checks out of the express lane with seven items is the same
man who will wear Supp-Hose and park in the Reserved for Handicapped
spaces.
                                -- Erma Bombeck
%%
A man who cries is capable of any evil.
%%
A man who is always forgetting his best intentions may be said to be a
thoroughfare of good resolutions.
                                -- Mrs. Jameson
%%
A man who knows the world will not only make the most of everything he
does know, but of many things that he does not know; and will gain more
credit by his adroit mode of hiding his ignorance than the pendant by
his awkward attempt to exhibit his erudition.
                                -- Colton
%%
A man who studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green.
                                -- Francis Bacon
%%
A man who turns green has eschewed protein.
%%
A man with one watch knows what time it is; a man with two watches is
never sure.
%%
A man without a God is like a fish without a bicycle.
%%
A man without religion is like a fish without a bicycle.
%%
A man's dying is more the survivors' affair than his own.
                                -- Thomas Mann
%%
A man's errors are what makes him amiable.
                                -- Goethe
%%
A man's good breeding is the best security against another's bad
manners.
                                -- Chesterfield
%%
A man's legs must be long enough to reach the ground.
                                -- Abraham Lincoln
%%
A man's reputation is the opinion people have of him; his character is
what he really is.
                                -- Jack Miner
%%
  A manager, name of ....
  Was sent to quash some revolts;
    Up Tewksbury way,
   Where, I would say,
  He could tell the nuts from the dolts.
%%
A manuscript for a market in which no textbooks currently exist will be
followed two weeks after contracting by an announcement of an identical
book by your closest competitor.
%%
A meeting is a place where people get together to talk about what they
should be doing.
%%
A meeting lasts at least 1 1/2 hours however short the agenda.
                                -- Denys Parsons
%%
A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the
writer.
                                -- Dean Acheson
%%
A military disaster may produce a better postwar situation than victory.
                                -- Shimon Tzabar
%%
A mind content both crown and kingdom is.
                                -- Greene
%%
  A mother is a mother still,
  The holiest thing alive.
                                -- Coleridge
%%
A motion to adjourn is always in order.
%%
A narrow mind begets obstinacy, and we do not easily believe what we
cannot see.
                                -- Dryden
%%
A nation may lose its liberties in a day and not miss them in a century.
                                -- Baron de Montesquieu
%%
A necessary item only goes on sale after you have purchased it at the
regular price.
                                -- Sherry Graditor
%%
A new broom sweeps clean, but the old brush knows the corners.
%%
A new cask will long preserve the tincture of the liquor with which it
was first impregnated.
                                -- Horace
%%
A new idea is delicate.  It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can
be stabbed to death by a quip and worried to death by a frown on the
right man's brow.
                                -- Charlie Brower
%%
A new scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents, but
rather because its opponents die, and a new generation grows up that is
familiar with it.
                                -- Max Planck
%%
A nickname is the heaviest stone the devil can throw at a man.
%%
A nose that can see is worth two that can sniff.
                                -- Eugene Ionesco
%%
A pair of bright eyes with a dozen glances suffice to subdue a man; to
enslave him, and inflame; to make him even forget; they dazzle him so,
that the past becomes straightway dim to him; and he so prizes them,
that he would give all his life to possess them.  What is the fond love
of dearest friends compared to hie treasure?  Is memory as strong as
expectancy, fruition as hunger, gratitude as desire?
                                -- Thackeray
%%
A parade should have bands or horse, but not both.
                                -- Nancy M. Wells
%%
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants.
%%
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
%%
A pedestrian is a man who has two cars, a wife, and one or more teenage
children.
%%
A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell.
                                -- George Bernard Shaw
%%
A person over age 65 who drinks says that his doctor recommends it.
                                -- Bob Smith
%%
A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he
resents.
                                -- G.C. Lichtenberg
%%
A person who can't lead and won't follow makes a dandy roadblock.
%%
A phenomenon known to anyone who has ever lit fires:  You can throw a
burnt match out the window of your car and start a forest fire while you
can use two boxes of matches and a whole edition of the Sunday paper
without being able to start a fire under the dry logs in your fireplace.
%%
A physician is not angry at the intemperance of a mad patient, nor does
he take it ill to be railed at by a man in a fever.  Just so should a
wise man treat all mankind, as a physician treats a patient, and look
upon them only as sick and extravagant.
                                -- Seneca
%%
A piano is a piano is a piano is a piano.
                                -- Gertrude Steinway
%%
A picture is a poem without words.
                                -- Horace
%%
A piece of electronic equipment is housed in a beautifully designed
cabinet, and at the side or on top is a little box containing the
components which the designer forgot to make room for.
                                -- Denys Parsons
%%
A pig ate his fill of acorns under an oak tree and then started to root
around the tree.  A crow remarked, "You should not do this.  If you lay
bare the roots, the tree will wither and die." "Let it die," said the
pig.  "Who cares so long as there are acorns?"
%%
A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to stick in
his mouth.
%%
A place you want to get to is always just off the edge of the map you
happen to have handy.
                                -- Denys Parsons
%%
  A pleasing trembling thrills through all my blood
  Whene'er you touch me with your melting hand;
  But when you kiss, oh! 'tis not to be spoke.
                                -- Gildon
%%
A plucked goose doesn't lay golden eggs.
%%
A poet begins in delight and ends in wisdom.
                                -- Robert Frost
%%
A poet that fails in writing, becomes often a morose critic.  The weak
insipid white wine makes at length excellent vinegar.
                                -- Shenstone
%%
A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits.
%%
A politician always abuses his own constituency and placates the
opponent's.
                                -- Bob Smith
%%
A politician will always tip off his true belief by stating the opposite
at the beginning of the sentence.  For maximum comprehension, do not
start listening until the first clause is concluded.  Begin instead at
the word "but" which begins the second, or active, clause.  This is the
way to tell a liberal from a conservative -- before they tell you.
Thus:  "I have always believed in a strong national defense, second to
none, but ... " (a liberal, about to propose a $20 billion defense cut).
                                -- Frank Mankiewicz
%%
A poor man served by thee, shall make thee rich.
                                -- Mrs. Browning
%%
A pregnancy will never occur when you have a low-paying job which you
hate.
                                -- Erma Bombeck
%%
A present, over which you will shed tears of joy.
%%
A pretty woman is a welcome guest.
                                -- Byron
%%
A professor's enthusiasm for teaching the introductory course varies
inversely with the likelihood of his having to do it.
%%
A propensity to hope and joy is real riches; one to fear and sorrow real
poverty.
                                -- Hume
%%
A proverb is a short sentence based on long experience.
%%
A prudent question is one-half wisdom.  -- Francis Bacon (1561-1626)
%%
A public debt is a kind of anchor in the storm; but if the anchor be too
heavy for the vessel, she will be sunk by that very weight which was
intended for her preservation.
                                -- Colton
%%
A pun is the lowest form of humor -- when you don't think of it first.
                                -- Oscar Levant
%%
A putt that stops close enough to the cup to inspire such comments as
"you could blow it in" may be blown in.  This rule does not apply if the
ball is more than three inches from the hole, because no one wants to
make a travesty of the game.
                                -- Donald A. Metz
%%
A quick response is worth a thousand logical responses.
                                -- Merle P. Martin
%%
A reactionary is a man whose political opinions always manage to keep up
with yesterday.
%%
A real friend is a person who, when you've made a fool of yourself, lets
you forget it.
%%
A realist lets circumstances decide which end of the telescope to look
through.
%%
A recent moralist has affirmed that the human heart is like a jug.  No
mortal can look into its recesses, and you can only judge of its purity
by what comes out of it.
%%
A recession is when my neighbor loses his job.  A depression is when I
lose my job.  A panic is when my wife loses her job.
                                -- Edgar R. Fiedler
%%
A record of data is useful -- it indicates that you've been working.
%%
A reform is a correction of abuses; a revolution is a transfer of power.
%%
A reformer is a guy who rides through a sewer in a glass bottomed boat.
%%
A reformer wants his conscience to be your guide.
%%
A religion can no more afford to degrade its Devil than to degrade its
God.
%%
A reserved lover, it is said, always makes a suspicious husband.
                                -- Oliver Goldsmith
%%
A river flowing through one of our large Eastern cities is so polluted
it is considered a fire hazard!
%%
A rose by any other name would still be a flower.
%%
A rose is a rose is a rose, but junk is not junk is not junk. It is
never quite what you think it is.
                                -- Richard N. Farmer
%%
A satirist is a man who discovers unpleasant things about himself and
then says them about other people.
                                -- Peter McArthur
%%
A scar nobly got is a good livery of honor.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
A school should not be a preparation for life.  A school should be life.
                                -- Elbert Hubbard
%%
  A secret in his mouth,
  Is like a wild bird put into a cage;
  Whose door no sooner opens, but 'tis out.
                                -- Johnson
%%
A seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago.
%%
A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep
him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those that are
worth committing.
                                -- Samuel Butler
%%
A sentence well couched takes both the sense and the understanding.  I
love not those cart-rope speeches that are longer than the memory of man
can fathom.
                                -- Fletham
%%
A shortcut is the longest distance between two points.
                                -- Professor Charles P. Issawi
%%
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
                                -- Joseph Stalin
%%
A slave has but one master; the ambitious man has as many masters as
there are persons whose aide may contribute to the advancement of his
fortune.
                                -- La Bruyere
%%
A smattering of philosophy had liberated his [Nero's] intellect without
maturing his judgement.
                                -- Tacitus
%%
A smoker is always attracted to the non-smoking section.
                                -- Raj K. Dhawan
%%
A soft answer turneth away wrath.
%%
A stagnant science is at a standstill.
%%
A statue lies hid in a block of marble; and the art of the statuary only
clears away the superfluous matter, and removes the rubbish.
                                -- Addison
%%
A stitch in time saves nine.
%%
A stranger at your gate is grateful for the hospitality of your house.
%%
A strong memory is generally coupled with infirm judgment.
                                -- Montaigne
%%
A study of the science of technology defines what is possible; a study
of the economics of technology establishes which of the possibilities is
practical and useful.
                                -- Montgomery Phister
%%
A successful person is one who went ahead and did the thing the rest of
us never quite got around to.
%%
A successful symposium depends on the ratio of meeting to eating.
%%
A sunny temper gilds the edges of life's blackest cloud.
                                -- Guthrie
%%
A suspicious parent makes an artful child.
                                -- Haliburton
%%
A system tends to grow in terms of complexity rather than of
simplification, until the resulting unreliability becomes intolerable.
                                -- Tom Gibb
%%
A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of
humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself.
                                -- Jessamyn West
%%
A theory is better than its explanation.
%%
A timid person is frightened before a danger, a coward during the time,
and a courageous person afterwards.
                                -- Jean Paul Richter
%%
A toad-eater's an imp I don't admire.   -- Dr. Woolcott
%%
A touchstone to determine the actual worth of an "intellectual" -- find
out how he feels about astrology.
                                -- Lazarus Long
%%
A transistor protected by a fast acting fuse will protect the fuse by
blowing first.
                                -- David Ellis
%%
A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
%%
A true friend will see you through when others see that you are through.
%%
A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a Unicorn.
%%
A university is a place where men of principle outnumber men of honor.
                                -- Ernest May
%%
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper its printed on.
                                -- Sam Goldwyn
%%
A vivid and creative mind characterizes you.
%%
A weak mind is like a microscope, which magnifies trifling things, but
cannot receive great ones.
                                -- Chesterfield
%%
A wedding ring is like a tourniquet; it cuts off your circulation.
%%
A well regulated commerce is not, like law, physic, or divinity, to be
overstocked with hands; but, on the contrary, flourishes by multitudes,
and gives employment to all its professors.
                                -- Addison
%%
A well-bred dog generally bows to strangers.
%%
A winner goes through a problem; a loser goes around, but never past,
it.
%%
A winner isn't nearly as afraid of losing as a loser is secretly afraid
of winning.
%%
A winner makes commitments; a loser makes promises.
%%
A winner says "Lets find out."; a loser says, "Nobody knows."
%%
A winner works harder than a loser and has more time; a loser is always
too busy to do what is necessary.
%%
A wise man can see more from a mountain top than a fool can from the
bottom of a well.
%%
A wise man who stands firm is a statesman, a foolish man who stands firm
is a catastrophe.
%%
A wise ruler ought never to keep faith when by doing so it would be
against his interests.
                                -- Niccolo Machiavelli
%%
  A wit's a feather, and a chief's a god;
  An honest man is the noblest work of God.
                                -- Alexander Pope
%%
A woman, like a good piece of music, should have a solid end.
                                -- F. Shubert
%%
A word to the wise is unnecessary.
%%
A zygote is a gamete's way of producing more gametes. This may be the
purpose of the universe.
                                -- Lazarus Long
%%
A.  Running a project in this office is like mating elephants -- it
takes a great deal of time and effort to get on top of things; B.  The
whole affair is always accompanied by a great deal of noise and
confusion, the culmination of which is heralded by loud trumpeting; C.
After which, nothing comes of the effort for two years.
%%
ACHTUNG:
        Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben.
        Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und
        corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken
        by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen
        hands in das pockets. Relaxen und vatch das blinkenlights!!!
%%
ADVANCED DESIGN: copy writer doesn't understand it
%%
ALL NEW: Parts not interchangeable with previous design
%%
ARTIFACT: Something only an art major would know.
%%
ARTIFACT: The only true fact in an experiment.
%%
Ability hits the mark where presumption overshoots and diffidence falls
short.
                                -- John Henry Newman
%%
Ability is of little account without opportunity.
                                -- Napoleon Bonaparte
%%
Ability wins us the esteem of the true men; luck that of the people.
                                -- La Rochefoucauld
%%
Abruptness is eloquence in parting, when spinning out the time is but
the weaving of new sorrow.
                                -- Sir John Suckling
%%
Absence and death are the same -- only that in death there is no
suffering.
                                -- Walter S. Landor
%%
Absence diminishes little passions and increases great ones, as wind
extinguishes candles and fans a fire.
                                -- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
%%
  Absence of occupation is not rest
  A mind quite vacent is a mind distress'd.
                                -- Cowper
%%
Absolute freedom is being able to do what you please without considering
anyone except the except the wife and kids, the company and the boss,
neighbors and friends, the police and government, the doctor and the
church.
%%
Abstaining is favorable both to the head and to the pocket.
                                -- Horace Greeley
%%
Abuse is the weapon of the vulgar.
                                -- Samuel Griswold Goodrich
%%
Abuse: the bitter clamour of two evil tongues.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
Academic politics is the most vicious and bitter form of politics,
because the stakes are so low.
                                -- Wallace Sayre
%%
According to the obituary notices, a mean and unimportant person never
dies.
%%
Accuracy is the twin brother of honesty; inaccuracy, of dishonesty.
                                -- Charles Simmons
%%
Accuracy is to a newspaper what virtue is to a lady, but a newspaper can
always print a retraction.
                                -- Adlai E. Stevenson
%%
Accuracy of statement is one of the first elements of truth; inaccuracy
is a near kin to falsehood.
                                -- Tyron Edwards
%%
Accurst ambition, how dearly I have bought you.
                                -- John Dryden
%%
Act upon your impulses, but pray that they may be directed by God.
                                -- Emerson Tennent
%%
Act well at the moment, and you have performed a good action to all
eternity.
                                -- Lavater
%%
Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without
action.
                                -- Benjaimn Disraeli
%%
Action to be effective must be directed to clearly conceived ends.
                                -- Jawaharial Nehru
%%
Actions of the last age are like almanacs of the last age.
                                -- Sir Thomas Denham
%%
Adaptability is not imitation.  It means power of resistance and
assimilation.
                                -- Mahatma Gandhi
%%
Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.
                                -- Frederick P. Brooks, Jr.
%%
Administration maintains the status quo.
                                -- Thomas L. Martin
%%
Adversity borrows its sharpest sting from our impatience.
                                -- Bishop Horne
%%
Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents, which in prosperous
circumstances would have lain dormant.
                                -- Horace
%%
Adversity reveals genius, prosperity conceals it.
                                -- Horace
%%
Adversity's sweet milk, philosophy.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
Advice from an old carpenter:  Measure twice and saw once.
%%
Advise well before you begin, and when you have maturely considered,
then act with promptitude.
                                -- Sallust
%%
After I asked him what he meant, he replied that freedom consisted of
the unimpeded right to get rich, to use his ability, no matter what the
cost to others, to win advancement.
                                -- Norman Thomas
%%
After a raise in salary you will have less money at the end of each
month than you had before.
                                -- Dr. R. F. Gumperson
%%
After adding two weeks to the schedule for unexpected delays, add two
more for the unexpected, unexpected delays.
%%
After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done.
%%
After all, what was MEDEA? Just another child custody case.
                                -- Frank Pierson
%%
After large expenditures of federal, state, and county funds; after much
confusion generated by detours and road blocks; after greatly annoying
the surrounding population with noise, dust, and fumes, the previously
existing traffic jam is relocated by one half-mile.
                                -- Alan Deitz
%%
After the correction has been found to be in error, it will be
impossible to fit the original quantity back into the equation.
%%
After wisdom comes wit.
                                -- Evan Esar
%%
Against stupidity, even the gods themselves contend in vain.
                                -- Isaac Azimov
%%
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
%%
Age is a tyrant, who forbids, at the penalty of life, all the pleasures
of youth.
                                -- La Rochefoucauld
%%
Age sits with decent grace upon his visage, and worthily becomes his
silver locks; he bears the marks of many years well spent, of virtue
truth well tried, and wise experience.
                                -- Rowe
%%
Ah!  the youngest heart has the same waves within it as the oldest; but
without the plummet which can measure the depths.
                                -- Richter
%%
  Ah! curst ambition! to thy lures we owe,
  All the great ills that mortals bear below.
                                -- Teckell
%%
Airy ambition, soaring high.
                                -- Sheffield
%%
Alas! while the body stands so broad and brawny, must the soul lie
blinded, dwarfed, stupefied, almost annihilated?  Alas! this was, too, a
breath of God, bestowed in heaven, but on earth never to be unfolded!
                                -- Carlyle
%%
Alas, reason is not effective against faith, or against searches for
miracles by the desperate.
                                -- Dr. Michael B. Shimkin
%%
Alexander Hamilton started the U. S. Treasury with nothing -- and that
was the closest our country has ever been to being even.
                                -- Will Rogers
%%
Alimony and bribes will engage a large share of your wealth.
%%
All American cars are basically Chevrolets.
                                -- Herb Caen
%%
All bridge hands are equally likely, but some are more equally likely
than others.
                                -- Alan Truscott
%%
All buses heading in the opposite direction drive off the face of the
earth and never return.
                                -- John Corcoran
%%
All cats are NOT gray after midnight.  Endless variety ...
%%
All ceremonies are, in themselves, very silly things; but yet a man of
the world should know them.  They are the outworks of manners and
decency, which would be too often broken in upon, if it were not for
that defence, which keeps the enemy at a proper distance.  It is for
this reason that I always treat fools with great ceremony:  true good
breeding not being a sufficient barrier against them.
                                -- Chesterfield
%%
All committee reports conclude that "it is not prudent to change the
policy [or procedure, or organization, or whatever] at this time."
                                -- Thomas L. Martin
%%
All countries hate their immediate neighbors and like the next but one.
(For example, the Poles hate the Germans, Russians, Czechs, and
Lithuanians, and they like the French, Hungarians, Italians, and
Latvians.)
                                -- Professor Charles P. Issawi
%%
All courageous animals are carnivorous, and greater courage is to be
expected in a people, such as the English, whose food is strong and
hearty, than in the half starved commonalty of other countries.
                                -- Sir W. Temple
%%
All files, papers, memos, etc., that you save will never be needed until
such time as they are disposed of, when they will become essential and
indispensable.
                                -- John Corcoran
%%
All general statements are false.
                                -- R. H. Grenier
%%
All gods have feet of clay.
%%
All government programs have three things in common:  a beginning, a
muddle, and no end.
%%
All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast.
%%
All hierarchies contain administrators and managers, and they tend to
appear at alternating levels in the hierarchy.
                                -- Thomas L. Martin
%%
All interference in human conduct has the potential for causing
harm -- no matter how innocuous the procedure.
%%
All is but lip wisdom which wants experience.
                                -- Sir Philip Sydney
%%
All math classes begin at 8 AM; also, movies on Federal Government.
                                -- M. M. Johnston
%%
All men are born naked.
                                -- Carlos Eduardo Novaes
%%
All men are created unequal.
%%
All men can be lead to believe the lie they want to believe.
                                -- Italo Bombolini
%%
All men can be reached by flattery, even God can (what, after all, is
prayer?).
                                -- Italo Bombolini
%%
All men have the right to wait in line.
                                -- Carlos Eduardo Novaes
%%
All of whom are worth anything, spend our manhood in unlearning the
follies, or expiating the mistakes of our youth.
                                -- Shelley
%%
All other things being equal, a bald man cannot be elected President of
the United States.
                                -- Vic Gold
%%
  All our actions take
  their hues from the complexion of the heart.
  As landscapes their variety from light.
                                -- W. T. Bacon
%%
All philosophy lies in two words, sustain and abstain.
                                -- Epictetus
%%
All policy interventions in social problems produce the intended effect
-- If the research is carried out by those implementing the policy or
their friends.
                                -- James Q. Wilson
%%
All progress is based on a universal innate desire on the part of every
organism to live beyond its income.
                                -- Samuel Butler
%%
All real programs contain errors until proved otherwise, which is
impossible.
                                -- Tom Gibb
%%
  All right, go lie upon the beach,
    To bake beyond the water's reach;
  But if you're blistered when you quit,
    Remember that you basked for it.
                                -- Anthony B. Lake
%%
All roads lead to Rome.
%%
All roads lead to Trantor, and that is where all stars end.
%%
All science is concerned with the relationship of cause and effect.
Each scientific discovery increases man's ability to predict the
consequences of his actions and thus his ability to control future
events.
                                -- Laurence J. Peter
%%
All snakes who wish to remain in Ireland will please raise their right
hands.
                                -- Saint Patrick
%%
All students who obtain a B will feel cheated out of an A.
                                -- M. M. Johnston
%%
All technology expands the space, contracts the time, and destroys the
working group.
                                -- Eugen Rosenstock-Huessy
%%
  All that glisters is not gold.
  Gilded tombs do worms enfold.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
All that time is lost which might be better employed.
                                -- Rousseau
%%
All that was new in them was false and what was true was old.
                                -- Opinion of Darwin's findings.
%%
  All the lights are frozen;
    The cursor blinks blandly.
  Soon, I shall see the dump.
%%
All the passions make us commit faults; love makes us commit the most
ridiculous ones.
                                -- La Rochefoucauld
%%
All the taxes paid over a lifetime by the average American are spent by
the government in less than a second.
                                -- Jim Fiebig
%%
All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or
fattening.
                                -- Alexander Woollcott
%%
All the troubles of man come from his not knowing how to sit still.
                                -- Pascal
%%
All the troubles you have will pass away very quickly.
%%
All the world's a stage.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
All they [zoos] actually offer to the public in return for the taxes
spent upon them is a form of idle and witless amusement, compared to
which a visit to a penitentiary, or even to a State legislature in
session, is informing, stimulating and ennobling.
                                -- H. L. Mencken
%%
All things are subject to fixed laws.
                                -- Marcus Manilius
%%
All things being equal, all things are never equal.
                                -- Marshall L. Smith
%%
All things whatsoever ye would that men should do unto you, do ye even
so to them.
                                -- Matthew VII, 12
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All those things which are now held to be of the greatest antiquity,
were at one time new; and what we today hold up by example, will rank
hereafter as precedent.
                                -- Tacitus
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All those who are opposed to the plan I am about to propose will reply
by saying "I resign."
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All wars are civil wars, because all men are brothers ... Each one owes
infinitely more to the human race than to the particular country in
which he was born.
                                -- Francois Fenelon
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All who have meditated on the art of governing mankind have been
convinced that the fate of empires depends on the education of youth.
                                -- Aristotle
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All you need to grow fine vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk.
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Allow no man to be so free with you as to praise you to your face.  Your
vanity by this means will want its food.  At the same time your passion
for esteem will be more fully gratified; men will praise you in their
actions: where you now receive one compliment, you will then receive
twenty civilities.
                                -- Steele
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Almost all absurdity of conduct arises from the imitation of those whom
we cannot resemble.
                                -- Samuel Johnson
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Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.
                                -- Agnes Allen
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Alternate rest and labor long endure.
                                -- Ovid
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Although men flatter themselves with their great actions, they are not
so often the result of a great design as of chance.
                                -- La Rochefoucauld
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Always distrust offices not under your jurisdiction which say that they
are there to serve you.  "Support" offices in a bureaucracy tend to grow
in size and make demands on you out of proportion to their service and
in the end require more effort on your part than their service is worth.
                                -- Douglas Evelyn
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Always give your people the credit that is rightfully theirs.  To do
otherwise is both morally and ethically dishonest.
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Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why.
Then do it.
                                -- Lazarus Long
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Always pray that your opposition be wicked.  In wickedness, there is a
strong strain toward rationality.  Therefore, there is always the
possibility, in theory, of handling the wicked by outthinking them.
                                -- Marion J. Levy, Jr.
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Always rise from the table with an appetite, and you will never sit down
without one.
                                -- William Penn
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Always run a yellow light.
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Always sort the small file first.
                                -- Dick Munroe
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Always stay in with the outs.
                                -- David Halberstan
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Always store beer in a dark place.
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Always tell her she is beautiful, especially if she is not.
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Always tell him he is handsome, especially if he is not.
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Always verify your witchcraft.
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Ambition is a lust that's never quenched, grows more inflamed, and
madder by enjoyment.
                                -- Otway
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  Ambition is an idol, on whose wings
  Great minds are carried only to extreme;
  To be sublimely great or to be nothing.
                                -- Southey
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Ambition is like love, impatient both of delays and rivals.
                                -- Denham
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Ambition usually progresses through the following stages:  to be like
Dad ... to be a millionaire ... to make enough to pay the bills ... to
hang on long enough to draw a pension.
%%
Ambition's like a circle on the water, which never ceases to enlarge
itself, 'till by broad spreading it disperse to nought.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
Ambition, idly vain; revenge and malice swell her train.
                                -- Penrose
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Ambition:  The dropsy'd thirst of empire, wealth or fame.
                                -- Nugent
%%
Ambition:  The glorious frailty of the noble mind.
                                -- Hoole
%%
America is the only country left where we teach languages so that no
pupil can speak them.
                                -- John Erskine
%%
American freedom consists largely in talking nonsense.
                                -- Ed Howe
%%
Americans are an energetic, ingenious, creative people.  One index to
this fact is that since the establishment of the patent system in 1836,
there have been more than 3-3/4 million patents issued.
%%
Ambidextrous instructors will erase with one hand while writing with the
other.
                                -- M. M. Johnston
%%
Americans have always attached particular value to the word "neighbor."
While the spirit of neighborliness was important on the frontier because
neighbors were so few, it is even more important now because our
neighbors are so many.
                                -- Lady Bird Johnson
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Among the damned, you are the chosen one.
%%
Among the lucky, you are the chosen one.
%%
Among twenty snowy mountains the only moving thing was the eye of the
black bird.
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Amusements to virtue are like breezes of air to the flame -- gentle ones
will fan it, but strong ones will put it out.
                                -- David Thomas
%%
An A is easily obtained if a student calls his instructor "Professor."
                                -- M. M. Johnston
%%
An able man shows his spirit by gentle words and resolute actions; he
neither hot nor timid.
                                -- Chesterfield
%%
An apology for the devil: it must be remembered that we have heard only
one side of the case. God has written all the books.
%%
An atheist is but a mad, ridiculous derider of piety, but a hypocrite
makes a sober jest of God and religion; he finds it easier to be upon
his knees than to rise to a good action.
                                -- Alexander Pope
%%
An economist is a man who would marry Farrah Fawcett for her money.
                                -- Edgar R. Fiedler
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An egg without salt is like a kiss from a beardless man.
%%
An elephant: a mouse built to government specifications.
%%
An empty bag cannot win in New York.
                                -- Poor Jimmy's Almanac
%%
An era can be said to end when its basic illusions are exhausted.
                                -- Arthur Miller
%%
Any error that can creep into a calculation, will.  Also, it will always
be in the direction that will cause the most damage to the calculation.
                                -- M. M. Johnston
%%
An evil, at its birth, is easily crushed, but it grows and strengthens
by endurance.
                                -- Cicero
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An exception TESTS a rule; it NEVER proves it.
                                -- Edmund C. Berkeley
%%
An excuse is worse and more terrible than a lie; for an excuse is a lie
guarded.
                                -- Alexander Pope
%%
An executive will always return to work from lunch early if no one takes
him.
%%
An experiment is reproducible until another laboratory tries to repeat
it.
                                -- Dr. Alexander Kohn
%%
An expert is a person who avoids the small errors while sweeping on to
the grand fallacy.
                                -- Gerald Weinberg
%%
An expert is someone who can take something you already knew and make it
sound confusing.
%%
An extraordinary haste to discharge an obligation is a sort of
ingratitude.
                                -- La Rochefoucauld
%%
An eye like Mars, to threaten and command.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
An honest God is the noblest work of man.
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An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it.
%%
An idea, like a ghost (according to the common notion of a ghost) must
be spoken to a little before it will explain itself.
                                -- Charles Dickens
%%
An incompetent traitor is no danger.  It is rather the capable men who
must be watched.
                                -- Brodrig
%%
An inexorable upward movement leads administrators to higher salaries
and narrower spans of control.
                                -- David Riesman
%%
An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished.
%%
An oath is a recognizance to heaven, binding us over in the courts
above, to plead to the indictment of our crimes, that those who 'scape
this world should suffer there.
                                -- Sothern
%%
An object at rest will always be in the wrong place.
                                -- David Gerrold
%%
An object in motion will always be headed in the wrong direction.
                                -- David Gerrold
%%
An object will fall so as to do the most damage.
%%
An obstinate man does not hold opinions, but they hold him.
                                -- Alexander Pope
%%
An old car that served you so well will continue to serve you until you
have just put four new tires under it and then will fall apart.
                                -- Erma Bombeck
%%
An optimist is a person who goes to the window every morning and says,
"Good morning, God!"  The pessimist goes to the window every morning and
says, "Good god, morning!"
%%
An optimist proclaims that this is the best of all possible worlds, and
a pessimist fears that it is true.
%%
An order that can be misunderstood will be misunderstood.
%%
An original idea can never emerge from a committee in the original.
                                -- Charles P. Boyle
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An ounce of application is worth a ton of abstraction.
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An ugly carpet will last forever.
                                -- Erma Bombeck
%%
An unexpectedly easy-to-handle sequence of events will be immediately
followed by an equally long sequence of trouble.
                                -- Charles Phelps
%%
And he gave it for his opinion, that whoever could make two ears of
corn, or two blades of grass to grow upon a spot of ground, where only
one grew before, would deserve better of mankind, and do mote essential
service to his country, than the whole race of politicians put together.
                                -- Jonathon Swift
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And here I stand; judge, my masters.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
  And here, poor fool, with all my lore
  I stand no wiser than before.
                                -- Johann W. von Goethe
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And now abideth faith, hope and charity, these three; but the greatest
of these is charity.
                                -- I Corinthians
%%
  And oftentimes, excusing of a fault,
  Doth make a fault the worse by the excuse;
  As patches set upon a little breach,
  Discredit more in hiding of the fault,
  Than did the fault before it was so patch'd.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%