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From: "Martin Minow, ML3-5/U26  14-May-1990 0944" <minow@bolt.enet.dec.com>
Subject: cookie.000
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In 1954, Henry Bascomb replaced the bulbs atop the tower
of the Empire State Building, and said it was the high light
of his career.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1914, the first crossword puzzle was printed in a
newspaper. The creator received $4000 down ... and $3000 across.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1890 cooking oil was first bottled ... on a Fry Day.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1884, a Filipino contortionist was hired by the circus.
He was the first Manila folder.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1930, a restaurant opened above a Karate school. They only
served chops.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1822 the patent was granted for artificial teeth to Charles
M. Graham of New York City. They were known as Graham clackers.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1922 the world's largest candle was lit. It burned for a wick.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1808 chocolate was first made. Isn't that sweet?
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1906 crackers became popular after being a wafer a while.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1899 the first dog training school opened. Graduates
received a barkalaureate degree.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1968 the first dancing school opened. It had waltz to waltz carpeting.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1914 the first course was offered in cosmetology.
Students took a make-up exam.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1910 the first Army dental unit was formed. They
had a good drill team.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1868 the first postmaster was hired. He got the job by
stamping his feet.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1904 men's briefs were first manufactured in the West Undies.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1919 the first elevator company opened. It had its ups and downs.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1902 the first gum factory opened. An employee fell into
a vat and his boss chewed him out.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1881 the first carpenter was employed. He wasn't very
successful - he bit his nails.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1896 the first music patent was granted. The man who
received it said he got it for a song.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1945 bakers went on strike. They wanted more dough.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1940 Charles Atlas joined the circus. He carried the whole show.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1900 the first lighthouse was built. Everyone celebrated
with beacon and eggs.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1882 the first pilots license was issued. It was made of flypaper.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1843 the first Shetland pony was brought to the U.S.
All the children screamed for joy and got a little hoarse.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1886 the first accountant was hired by a circus.
He juggled the books.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1922 cardboard belts were first made. It was the first waist paper.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1926 electricity was first installed in an English Castle.
It was the first knight light.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1600 acupuncture was first used. Practitioners worked for pin money.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1931 the first human cannonball was hired by a circus.
He was fired. Then they hired someone of higher caliber.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1791 the first marble building was built, but it kept rolling away.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1951 the first automobile commercial was set to music.
It was the first car tune.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1924 the first rubber man joined the circus but he got bounced.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1935 the largest sponge colony was found in the Atlantic.
There was a soaker born every minute.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1857 the first chess tournament was held. The winner got a check.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1918 gum was first sold on a chew-chew train.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1868 the first mythology exhibit was featured in a circus.
It got centaur ring.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1883 the first flea circus opened, but a dog came by
and stole the whole show.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1787 the first alarm clock was made. Everyone was tocking about it.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1895 the steam iron was invented. It solved some pressing problems.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1865 the coffee percolator was patented, and gave
grounds for celebration.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1901 the first library opened in Booklyn.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1911 the first art contest was held. Winners were
selected by a drawing.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1803 the first medical book was written. It had no appendix.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1910 artificial snow was first made, which gave us snow fakes.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1915 the first book was written on watchmaking.
Everybody said it was about time.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1955 the first all night bakery opened.
It was run by a real dough nut.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1923 the first wig for men was made, but people didn't want toupee.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1923 clothes hampers became popular. They were for
people who wanted to throw in the towel.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1936 the first rubber covered football was made.
People really got a kick out of it.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1928 the first frog jumping jubilee was held.
It made people very hoppy.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1888 bread was first made commercially. Everybody
fell in loaf with it.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1939 the first illuminated golf course opened. It was
for people who liked swinging night clubs.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1929 the first hill climbing contest was held. It
was for slope pokes.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1916 the first saddle was made with foot pieces,
but people thought it might stirrup trouble.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1908 playing cards were invented. For the first time
you could buy suits for under a dollar.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1689 the first chair was made especially for royalty,
but it was throne out.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1639 the first attorney was graduated. For the ceremony
he wore a civil suit.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1921 boll weevils attacked potato crops. Farmers kept
their eyes peeled.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1904 mail was first delivered by dog sled ... it all
arrived airedale spaniel delivery.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1890 the first car was made for feudal petroleum magnates.
It was called a vassal-lene.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1890 mustard was invented in a New York apartment.
It was the first condimentium.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1802 the broom was invented. The inventor was so tired,
he went to sweep.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1930 rubber gloves were first used. People found them very handy.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1891 the first orchestra was formed in Massachusetts.
It was a band in Boston.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1944 a shipment of wigs landed at New York hairport.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1835 the first railroad ran trains to Washington, D.C.
so politicians could get on the right track.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1871 the first relief map was made. The inventor got a raise.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1900 Bernard McFadden opened a penny restaurant in
New York City. It made a lot of cents.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1823 the first dictionary was written for poets.
They celebrated with a luncheon and ate rhyme bread.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1859 the first rocket patent was granted.
The inventor went out to launch.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1849 the safety pin was invented by Walter Hunt. He
wasn't too successful at first but he stuck to his work.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1834 Issac Fisher patented sandpaper. He really had it rough.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1938 a Santa Claus school opened in Albion, N.Y.
Some students graduated just in the St. Nick of time.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1905 the first savings bank opened. It was for guys and dollars.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1814 the circular saw was invented by a man who
wanted to take a short cut.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1891 William Canby manufactured computing scales,
which proves that where there's a Will there's a weigh.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1633 the first school opened in America. It was a classy place.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1835 Hiram Powers began the first marble sculpture,
but he did chip work.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1783 the first self winding clock was made. Everyone was tick-led.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1889 the patent was granted for the sewing machine.
It left everyone in stiches.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1813 the first mail delivery by steamboat was
authorized. It carried coast cards.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1942 a five day bicycle race was run. Then the racers
got a weak end off.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1889 the first college textile school opened.
The students became very materialistic.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1912 a play was performed by a group of senators.
It was an act of congress.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1869 the waffle iron was invented for people who had wrinkled waffles.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1970 the first bank without tellers opened. It was
for people who believe money talks.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1940 an Easter picnic was held in Washington, and
everyone had sandwiches on hamburger bunnies.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1790 the first official count of the U.S. population
was made. It made a lot of census.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1967 the first horse motel opened. It provided animals
with a stable environment.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1866 dynamite was first made, and the company did a booming business.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1823 the first barber shop opened. It was hair conditioned.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1840 the first elastic girdle was made. Asked if it works,
the inventor said, "Of corset does."
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1838 the muffler was invented. It was exhausting work.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1901 a slab of stone was discovered with a multiplication
problem carved on it. It was the first concrete example.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1894 the Cowboy Father of the Year award was given to
a dude dad.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1880 the first tailor shop offered credit and everything
was on the cuff.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1900 the first indoor tennis court was built. The builder
made a good net profit.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1938 New York began a clean up campaign. It was the first
grime wave.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1925 clothing manufacturers went on strike. They filed
a double breasted suit against the government.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1868 the first maternity ward opened, for people who
had an investment in the stork market.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1901 stockings were first sold and there was a run on them.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1912 the bakers union hired a loafer.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1933 the first carpenters banquet was held. They served a pound cake.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1865 Canada sold the U.S. a herd of 40,000 bison.
Then America received a buffalo bill.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1914 the Panama canal locks opened, but they forgot the cream cheese.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1930 the first credit card was issued. People got
a charge out of it.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1899 the first shoemaker opened his shop. He had a lot of sole.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1926 the first dentist's banquet was held. It was a
$100 a plate dinner ... $50 for the upper and $50 for the lower.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1919 a cigar band was hired to play Smoke Gets in Your Eyes.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1810 Thomas Brown invented the first mail box. Everyone
knew it would happen sooner or letter.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1916 the first mail delivery was made by boat in China, but
they only delivered junk mail.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1923 the cranberry crop failed and there was no more cranberry source.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1913 the first diving school opened. Graduates got a deep-loma.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1925 the first marble building was erected, but everyone
took it for granite.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1931 a shipment of vegetables was sent by mail. It
came by parsley post.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1900 the first medical school opened but they stiched it closed.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1881 the first 40,000 story building opened. It was a library.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1924 the first college marriage course was offered. People
got a wed-ucation.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1737 a bill was passed authorizing copper coins. It was
signed with a fountain penny.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1932 wooden money was first issued. It was a sliver dollar.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1838 the first musicians convention was held. It was well staffed.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1802 the first archery contest was held. It was won by an arrow
margin.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1948 the first woman was sworn into the Navy. She became a
permanent wave.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1869 margarine was first manufactured. It was bitter than nothing.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1904 the first dog obedience school opened. It had a
large barking lot.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1910 the first optometry courses were offered by a university.
All the students sat in glassrooms.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1922 the first wrought iron gate was made. It was very fency.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1941 the first pig was taken in by a pawn shop. It was a ham hock.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1895 the paper pencil was invented by Frederic Blaisdell. Most
people thought it was pointless.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1890 the first infant stroller was made. Some babies got a
little buggy.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1840 the straight pin was invented and since then many people
have gotton stuck up.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1924 Englishman Thomas Jack invented the automated packaging
machine. He was known as Jack the Wrapper.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1883 cows were first shipped by rail. The shipper made a lot
of moola.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1915 a load of grass was sent to soddy Arabia.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1941 two rug dealers talked by telephone. The call was
Persian to Persian.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1920 the first corn auction was conducted. That gave us
auction ears.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1904 corduroy pillow covers were sold. They made head lines.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1923 the city of Chun King was captured by the Japanese.
An hour later they wanted to capture it again.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1832 the music of a famous composer was compiled. It was
a Liszt list.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1921 the mason's convention began to the tune of
"Does Your Mortar Come From Ireland?"
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1944 the non-stick phonograph needle was invented
... invented ... invented ...
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1911 the first book on wines was printed. It was a Booze Who.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1910 soda was first bottled. The inventor's son said,
"That's my pop!"
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1945 the first airplane hanger was built. It was for
drip dry airplanes.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1893 the first giraffe was exhibited. Everyone paid
a neckle to see it.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1940 pickle makers hald a conference and watched
"Let's Make a Dill."
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1938 dental floss was invented, and that's the tooth!
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1933 card playing was banned aboard naval vessels,
and ships lost their decks.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1919 surgical stiches were first used. The inventor
said, "Suture self."
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1925 MacIntosh joined the Apple Corps.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1889 the first lighter than air craft departed on its maiden
voyage, but everyone thought it was a lot of baloony.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1901 the first barber supply company was burned but
it was just a brush fire.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1895 John Campbell invented lubricating oil. Before
that he was just squeaking by.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1949 calculators were first used. They were so successful
that adding machines began to multiply.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1920 the patent for malted milk was sold for $100.
The buyer said he got a fair shake.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1911 the first ice cream cone was shown at a press
party. Newsmen got a big scoop.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1964 high heels went out of style. It was a big let down.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1916 the first dog kennels were rented. They had a twenty year leash.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1932 the first diet club was formed but it was a losing proposition.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1951 the first marriage was performed aboard a plane.
It was a double wing ceremony.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1688 the first music score appeared: Bach, 4 ... Beethoven, 8.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1840 the first man's leather belt was produced for
just 99 cents. It cost less than a buckle.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1941 Austrailian beer was first imported. It was
made out of kangaroo hops.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1905 tweezers were first made. Everyone thought
they would do in a pinch.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1954 a briefcase for attorneys was made from bannana
skins, for lawyers who wanted to appeal their cases.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1955 the first flea market opened. They started from scratch.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1922 two fruit companies merged. They made a perfect pear.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1930 the largest order of Chinese food was delivered to
the White House. It weighed won ton.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1903 hair rollers were invented but men couldn't use them
because they were only for curls.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1912 Herbert Gorton and Leroy Fay invented the ceramic
coffee mug. Everyone said they made a nice cupple.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1958 a baseball game was held at a National Park
campground. They pitched a tent.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1918 the electric razor was invented by a man who had
worked on it since he was a little shaver.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1904 tanning lotion was first bottled. It could only
be used on sun days.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1906 the first barber school opened. Everyone graduated
at the head of his class.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1934 an antidote for snake bite was called in from Ohio
to Florida. The call came poison to poison.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1918 the first fishing dock was built by a man who was
well-liked by his pier group.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1933 the hamburger press was made, and the inventor
got a patty on the back.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1934 the first greyhounds raced behind a restaurant.
The biggest bet was made by a man with a hot dog.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1880 thread was first made, and everyone said, "Darn it!"
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1919 water pistols were first sold. The store had squirtains
on the window.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1941 the circuit breaker was invented. A lot of people
re-fused to use it.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1904 peanuts were first packaged. The company hoped they
would shell fast.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1958 two men invented the radial tire. Everyone said
they made a nice spare.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1950 hair dye was first packaged for home use. It really
got to the root of the problem.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1803 the first chimney sweep was hired and everyone said,
"Soot yourself!"
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1774 Betsy Ross asked a group of colonists for their opinion
of the flag she had made. It was the first flag poll.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1880 the French captured Detroit but gave it back ...
they couldn't get parts.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1922 the first canine scale was made, but it only weighed
in dog pounds.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1840 Custer became the first man to wear an arrow shirt.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1954 a cookie factory burned down in Missippi and
everyone had fire crackers.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1946 the first dentist was hired by the American League
to put on baseball caps.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1924 metal bus tokens were made. They were only worth tin cents.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1935 a large investment was made in importing soap, and
the investor bubbled his money.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1961 a chimpanzee was raised on a Texas farm. It was the
first monkee ranch.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1950 a club was formed for the purpose of memory improvement.
If you dropped out, you couldn't remember.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1903 the recipe for beer was first written. It was the first
brew print.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1892 a shipment of fruit was delivered by boat. It was the
first water mailin'.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1933 a poultry farmer put his money in the bank and
opened a chicken account.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1634 the first twins were born on America on a two's day.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1910 the first tavern opened in Alaska. It was a polar bar.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1918 the first bike repair shop opened and the owner
became the industry's spokes man.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1920 the branding iron was invented. The cattle were
really impressed.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1968 a monument was built for a French leader. It was
known as DeGaulle stone.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1944 a turkey farm installed a gobblestone driveway.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1936 the first boat show opened. It had a yacht to offer.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1925 an exhibit of floral prints was shown in the Metropolitan
Museum. They were done by a budding artist.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1928 venetian blinds were first made by a shady character.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1923 cows were first shipped by raft down the Missippi River.
They traveled on cattle logs.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1801 the first national cooking champion was crowned. She
later appeared on a program called "The Spice is Right."
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1946 wigs were first imported from the Orient. They came
by hair mail.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1934 the Philadelphia Orchestra hired an assistent conductor.
He was the first band aid.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1903 the first pain killer was marketed. It saved a lot of moaney.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1948 a boat company in Ohio had a sail on motor boats.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1911 thimbles were invented. A lot of people got stuck
without one.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1966 cigarette lighters were given as prizes to tennis
players who won a match.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1940 a fishing tournament was held. No prizes were given:
it was just done for the halibut.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1854 the first dentist opened an office in the West. He
was a gum slinger.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1939 the Arabian Embassy held a ball and everyone danced
sheik to sheik.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1910 a radical new engine was produced. The inventor said,
"Diesel be very good."
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1931 the world's largest shipment of hot dogs arrived from
France because they owed us three million franks.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1890 the metal axe was first sold and a lot of people went chopping.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1929 the first recliner was made, and the inventor got a chair
of the profits.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1913 the first rodeo was held, and cowboys got a few bucks
out of it.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1929 the game of Scrabble was invented and many people
sat down for a spell.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1922 rubber gloves were made, and they came in handy.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1914 a book on lawn care was written and people who
bought it became good weeders.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1913 valentine-shaped candy boxes were made. They were for
sweet hearts.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1920 knitted socks were first used for hand warmers but they
went down to defeat.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1918 illuminated helmets were first made for miners. It
made them feel light headed.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1974 the wholesale price of sugar doubled and grocers
began to raise cane.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1926 the pogo stick was invented but it made a lot
of people jumpy.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1888 the chains were made to attach pocket watches to
trousers for people who couldn't afford to lose time.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1941 a shop opened to repair garden tools. The owner
made mower money.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1925 miniature cuckoo clocks were manufactured in Germany
by a small time operator.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1909 rodent traps were invented. It was hoped that a lot
of people would gopher them.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1918 small cushions were made for sewing. You could buy
one for a pinny.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1924 metal license plates were distributed and people went
tagging along.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1961 the skateboard was invented. It was a wheely good idea.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1915 a macaroni factory opened in New York, but it had
to pasta inspection.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1949 a Hall of Fame opened to honor outstanding women
soldiers. It was a Wac's museum.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1966 a large grove of fruit bushes was cut down in Omaha
by someone who wanted to hatchet the berry.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1921 chicken broth was first canned and everyone thought
it was souper.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1934 the transverse rod was invented by an artist who
wanted to draw drapes.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1905 the formula for rouge was reddy.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1919 a tree climbing contest was held for people who
wanted to limber up.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1898 a dozen bathers began the firat swimming race.
It started at the stroke of twelve.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1891 wrought iron was first used for decoration. People
were very grate full.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1902 wooden shoes were invented and a lot of people
lumbered around in them.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1958 pocket sized tape recorders were first manufactured
for people who liked small talk.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1880 a book on sea mammals was written. Everyone said,
"Whale, whale ..."
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1968 pantsuits became fashionable for women but a lot
of ladies tried to skirt the issue.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1956 strip mining was banned in Boston.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1933 the first drum major was used in a parade. He had
a large following.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1929 the first switchboard operator was hired. She didn't
like the job but she kept plugging away.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1933 a restaurant in New York catered only to women.
They served Miss Steaks.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1869 walnuts were first grown in America. Some people
thought they weren't all they were cracked up to be.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1915 pancake make-up was invented but most people
still preferred syrup.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1881 sandals were made by a man who felt the shoe must go on.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1968 miniskirts became popular, and worried husbands
said the thigh's the limit.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1938 lighter fluid was first sold. The inventor became flamous.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1946 a speech was given by a congressman aboard an
aircraft carrier; the sailors received a deck-oration.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1890 used Dromedaries were sold in Arabia, in a place
called Camel lot.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1900 the first Chinese lumberjack was hired. He cut
down trees with chop sticks.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1958 a formal affair was held by dentists. It was a gum ball.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1911 an advertisment appeared for a pill to cure
headaches but people found it hard to swallow.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1845 a psychic told the Lone Ranger his fortune but
sustained a broken arm when he crossed her palm with silver.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1949 the first tightrope walker was hired by a circus.
He was high strung.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1883 the first bakery opened on the yeast coast.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1951 vegetable farmers from all over the world held
a meeting. It was the first peas conference.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1964 two rival cosmetic firms decided to make up.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1621 a Pilgrim band began playing because they
wanted to see Plymoth Rock.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1930 straw hats went out of style, but they'd had their hay day.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1941 the man who invented the boomerang tried for a comeback.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1901 candles were first used on birthday cakes for
people who wanted to make light of their age.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1921 the first exterminating company opened on a fly day.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1954 a sardine factory canned its employees.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1909 the first magician appeared on stage. He was so
bad he made the audience disappear.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1868 the first dressmaker's shop opened and it seamed to do well.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1841 suspenders were first made but the company was held up.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1911 a shipment of umbrellas arrived from France
by parasol post.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1898 the first submarine sandwich was introduced
but the company went under.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1959 a dinner was held for America's sculptors.
For dessert they had marble cake.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1935 the first drive-in restaurant opened for
people who wanted to curb their appetites.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1806 liquor was first made in the U.S. It soon
went into mash production.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1900 a song was written in bed and everyone bought the sheet music.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1940 due to a reduction in staff a Navy Captain got a crew cut.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1910 a Hungarian religious leader was found to be a Buddha pest.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1933 barbed wire was first used for de fence.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1950 the first indoor jogging machine was made.
People who bought it got a run for their money.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1945 the first all white Dalmation was spotted.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1923 card playing reached the pinochle of success.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1901 a song about Easter bonnets was written. A few
months later it became number one on the hat parade.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1959 short dresses were called "dogs" because you
could peek on knees.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1920 a special pail was invented for electric milking
machines because one good urn deserves an udder.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1949 the largest sheep farm in America started in Kansas.
The sheep stood wool to wool.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1640 the first calendar was written but everyone knew its
days were numbered.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
  In 1860 the first elephant trainer was hired by a circus.
They said he was a tough tusk master.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1850 bed bugs were brought to the West by Buffalo Bill Cootie.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1881 the Epsom Derby announcer told enveryone that
Poison Ivy was scratched.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1876 the first telephone conversation was only
eighteen feet apart. It was a close call.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
  In 1906 the fear of St. Nicholas was designated by
psychiatrists as Claus-trophobia.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1953 the president of the tailor's union held a press conference.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1938 the first haunted house was opened to the public.
It had twenty screem doors.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1941 the U.S. Army laboratory discovered hair dye
and established a bleach head.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1921 the Boy Scouts inducted the first canine member.
He was a Beagle Scout.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1952 marshmallow salesmen learned the soft sell.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1931 a conference on fishing expansion was postponed
so they could mullet over.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1916 the first interlocking puzzle caused a national
craze as the whole nation went to pieces.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1966 the first Nudist Convention received little coverage.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1802 the man who invented rope built a huge hempire.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1923 soda pop was first bottled in Pensa Cola.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1952 retreads were first made for people who wanted to re-tire.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1940 a munitions manufacturer held a convention in
Chicago. It was a real blast.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1936 FDR was elected for a second time because one
good term deserves another.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1922 a bee farm was started by a man who liked to keep buzzy.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1960 legislation was introduced for the preservation
of water fowl but everyone tried to duck the issue.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1934 metal dog leashes were made but they were only
sold in chain stores.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1951 a flower show was held in Washington. First
prize was a bloom ribbon.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1939 3,000 pigs were shipped to Iowa. They were
kept in a porking lot.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1965 seventy prisoners in San Quentin prison broke out
with the measles.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1908 street vendors began petaling flowers.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1939 loads of sand were sent to New Orleans. They got it dirt cheap.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1449 the first king was inaugurated. He wore a reign coat.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1868 the first railroad conductor was hired. He first had
to read the training manual.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1818 ties were first worn. They were very collar full.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1961 a carpenter sailed around the world, taking his screw with him.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1958 a large showing of men's jewelry was held. To get in
you had to pay a cuffer charge and a tie tax.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1901 the first shellac was made but it was inferior and
soon varnished from sight.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1932 the first whitener for clothes was sold in Miami Bleach.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1966 a group of dye manufacturers camped out in a tint.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1944 the first golf cart was made. It went "Putt ... Putt ..."
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1908 a course was begun for department store Santas. It taught
St. Nick knacks.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1884 the first clarinet music was printed for people who
knew how to reed.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1930 a guard was hired for a hat factory but he only
carried a cap pistol.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1921 the automatic packaging machine was invented. The
inventor made a bundle.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1916 an artifical fish was made. It was a plastic sturgeon.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1884 holly was first used for holiday decoration and
everyone had a berry Christmas.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1969 a Shriner went unrecognised after having his fez lifted.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1955 the Janitor's Union called for sweeping reforms.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1953 the Gardener's Union passed out leaflets.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1750 Issac Newton became discouraged when he fell
up a flight of stairs.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1890 popcorn was invented by an Army kernel.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1960 a diaper manufacturer threw a New Year's Eve potty.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1868 the first caddy was used for golf. He was a tee totaler.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1963 an employee of an automobile factory was fired
for taking a brake.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1951 a convention of mathematicians was held, and
everyone sat around multiplication tables.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1945 the price of duck feathers increased and even down was up.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1938 laundry owners held a convention. They sat on bleachers.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1903 cologne was first bottled. It made a lot of scents.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1939 a manufacturer of percussion instruments tried to
drum up business.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1958 manufacturers of sugar took their lumps.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1969 an astronaut was married. They became Mr. and Missle.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1931 a matador was arrested for shooting the bull.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1913 a bald eagle was found wearing an air piece.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1900 a thermometer was manufactured by a man with many degrees.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1896 windows were first installed, but people thought
they were a pane in the glass.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1965 the first inspection of lobster catches was
made by a claw enforcement agency.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1934 the Lumberjack Union  was re-formed by a splinter group.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1946 the first seance was conducted. It was publicized by a spooksman.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1961 a noted criminologist took post graduate courses
and got a third degree.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1936 the world's largest glacier was spotted by a man with
good ice sight.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1920 the franking priviledge was used for Capitol letters.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1928 a lubricant for wheels was invented. It was called caster oil
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1958 a noted sculptor celebrated his birthday and everyone
chipped in for a gift.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1926 fish hooks really caught on.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
In 1900 the first escalator was put in use and everyone said
it was a step in the right direction.
				-- "On This Day in History"
%%
 Verb doubling: a standard construction is to double a verb and use it
   as a comment on what the implied subject does.  Often used to
   terminate a conversation.  Typical examples involve WIN, LOSE,
   HACK, FLAME, BARF, CHOMP:
        "The disk heads just crashed."  "Lose, lose."
        "Mostly he just talked about his --- crock.  Flame, flame."
        "Boy, what a bagbiter!  Chomp, chomp!"
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 Soundalike slang: similar to Cockney rhyming slang.  Often made up on
   the spur of the moment.  Standard examples:
        Boston Globe => Boston Glob
        Herald American => Horrid (Harried) American
        New York Times => New York Slime
        Dime Time => Slime Time
        government property - do not duplicate (seen on keys)
                => government duplicity - do not propagate
   Often the substitution will be made in such a way as to slip in
   a standard jargon word:
        Dr. Dobb's Journal => Dr. Frob's Journal
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 The -P convention: turning a word into a question by appending the
   syllable "P"; from the LISP convention of appending the letter "P"
   to denote a predicate (a Boolean-values function).  The question
   should expect a yes/no answer, though it needn't.  (See T and NIL.)
     At dinnertime: "Foodp?"  "Yeah, I'm pretty hungry." or "T!"
     "State-of-the-world-P?"  (Straight) "I'm about to go home."
                              (Humorous) "Yes, the world has a state."
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 Peculiar nouns: MIT AI hackers love to take various words and add the
   wrong endings to them to make nouns and verbs, often by extending a
   standard rule to nonuniform cases.  Examples:
                porous => porosity
                generous => generosity
        Ergo:   mysterious => mysteriosity
                ferrous => ferocity
 
        Other examples:  winnitude, disgustitude, hackification.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 AOS (aus (East coast) ay-ahs (West coast)) [based on a PDP-10
   increment instruction] v. To increase the amount of something.
   "Aos the campfire."  Usage: considered silly.  See SOS.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 ANGLE BRACKETS (primarily MIT) n. Either of the characters "<" and
   ">".  See BROKET.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 ARG n. Abbreviation for "argument" (to a function), used so often as
   to have become a new word.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 AUTOMAGICALLY adv. Automatically, but in a way which, for some reason
   (typically because it is too complicated, or too ugly, or perhaps
   even too trivial), I don't feel like explaining to you.  See MAGIC.
   Example: Some programs which produce XGP output files spool them
   automagically.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 BAGBITER 1. n. Equipment or program that fails, usually
   intermittently.  2. BAGBITING: adj. Failing hardware or software.
   "This bagbiting system won't let me get out of spacewar."  Usage:
   verges on obscenity.  Grammatically separable; one may speak of
   "biting the bag".  Synonyms: LOSER, LOSING, CRETINOUS, BLETCHEROUS,
   BARFUCIOUS, CHOMPER, CHOMPING.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 BANG n. Common alternate name for EXCL (q.v.), especially at CMU.  See
   SHRIEK.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 BAR 1. The second metasyntactic variable, after FOO.  "Suppose we have
   two functions FOO and BAR.  FOO calls BAR..."  2. Often appended to
   FOO to produce FOOBAR.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 BARF [from the "layman" slang, meaning "vomit"] 1. interj. Term of
   disgust.  See BLETCH.  2. v. Choke, as on input.  May mean to give
   an error message.  "The function `=' compares two fixnums or two
   flonums, and barfs on anything else."  3. BARFULOUS, BARFUCIOUS:
   adj. Said of something which would make anyone barf, if only for
   aesthetic reasons.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 BIGNUMS [from Macsyma] n. 1. In backgammon, large numbers on the dice.
   2. Multiple-precision (sometimes infinitely extendable) integers
   and, through analogy, any very large numbers.  3. EL CAMINO BIGNUM:
   El Camino Real, a street through the San Francisco peninsula that
   originally extended (and still appears in places) all the way to
   Mexico City.  It was termed "El Camino Double Precision" when
   someone noted it was a very long street, and then "El Camino
   Bignum" when it was pointed out that it was hundreds of miles long.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 BIN [short for BINARY; used as a second file name on ITS] 1. n.
   BINARY.  2. BIN FILE: A file containing the BIN for a program.
   Usage: used at MIT, which runs on ITS.  The equivalent term at
   Stanford is DMP (pronounced "dump") FILE.  Other names used include
   SAV ("save") FILE (DEC and Tenex), SHR ("share") and LOW FILES
   (DEC), and EXE ("ex'ee") FILE (DEC and Twenex).  Also in this
   category are the input files to the various flavors of linking
   loaders (LOADER, LINK-10, STINK), called REL FILES.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 BINARY n. The object code for a program.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 BLETCH [from German "brechen", to vomit (?)] 1. interj. Term of
   disgust.  2. BLETCHEROUS: adj. Disgusting in design or function.
   "This keyboard is bletcherous!"  Usage: slightly comic.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 BLT (blit, very rarely belt) [based on the PDP-10 block transfer
   instruction; confusing to users of the PDP-11] 1. v. To transfer a
   large contiguous package of information from one place to another.
   2. THE BIG BLT: n. Shuffling operation on the PDP-10 under some
   operating systems that consumes a significant amount of computer
   time.  3. (usually pronounced B-L-T) n. Sandwich containing bacon,
   lettuce, and tomato.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 BOGOSITY n. The degree to which something is BOGUS (q.v.).  At CMU,
   bogosity is measured with a bogometer; typical use: in a seminar,
   when a speaker says something bogus, a listener might raise his
   hand and say, "My bogometer just triggered."  The agreed-upon unit
   of bogosity is the microLenat (uL).
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 BOGUS (WPI, Yale, Stanford) adj. 1. Non-functional.  "Your patches are
   bogus."  2. Useless.  "OPCON is a bogus program."  3. False.  "Your
   arguments are bogus."  4. Incorrect.  "That algorithm is bogus."
   5. Silly.  "Stop writing those bogus sagas."  (This word seems to
   have some, but not all, of the connotations of RANDOM.)
   [Etymological note from Lehman/Reid at CMU:  "Bogus" was originally
   used (in this sense) at Princeton, in the late 60's.  It was used
   not particularly in the CS department, but all over campus.  It
   came to Yale, where one of us (Lehman) was an undergraduate, and
   (we assume) elsewhere through the efforts of Princeton alumni who
   brought the word with them from their alma mater.  In the Yale
   case, the alumnus is Michael Shamos, who was a graduate student at
   Yale and is now a faculty member here.  A glossary of bogus words
   was compiled at Yale when the word was first popularized (e.g.,
   autobogophobia: the fear of becoming bogotified).]
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 BOUNCE (Stanford) v. To play volleyball.  "Bounce, bounce!  Stop
   wasting time on the computer and get out to the court!"
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 BRAIN-DAMAGED [generalization of "Honeywell Brain Damage" (HBD), a
   theoretical disease invented to explain certain utter cretinisms in
   Multics] adj. Obviously wrong; cretinous; demented.  There is an
   implication that the person responsible must have suffered brain
   damage, because he should have known better.  Calling something
   brain-damaged is really bad; it also implies it is unusable.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 BREAK v. 1. To cause to be broken (in any sense).  "Your latest patch
   to the system broke the TELNET server."  2. (of a program) To stop
   temporarily, so that it may be examined for debugging purposes.
   The place where it stops is a BREAKPOINT.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 BROKEN adj. 1. Not working properly (of programs).  2. Behaving
   strangely; especially (of people), exhibiting extreme depression.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 BROKET [by analogy with "bracket": a "broken bracket"] (primarily
   Stanford) n. Either of the characters "<" and ">".  (At MIT, and
   apparently in The Real World (q.v.) as well, these are usually
   called ANGLE BRACKETS.)
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 BUCKY BITS (primarily Stanford) n. The bits produced by the CTRL and
   META shift keys on a Stanford (or Knight) keyboard.
   DOUBLE BUCKY: adj. Using both the CTRL and META keys.  "The command
   to burn all LEDs is double bucky F."
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 BUG [from telephone terminology, "bugs in a telephone cable", blamed
   for noisy lines] n. An unwanted and unintended property of a
   program.  See FEATURE.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 BUM 1. v. To make highly efficient, either in time or space, often at
   the expense of clarity.  "I managed to bum three more
   instructions."  2. n. A small change to an algorithm to make it
   more efficient.  Usage: somewhat rare.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 BUZZ v. To run in a very tight loop, perhaps without guarantee of
   getting out.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 CANONICAL adj. The usual or standard state or manner of something.
   A true story:  One Bob Sjoberg, new at the MIT AI Lab, expressed
   some annoyance at the use of jargon.  Over his loud objections, we
   made a point of using jargon as much as possible in his presence,
   and eventually it began to sink in.  Finally, in one conversation,
   he used the word "canonical" in jargon-like fashion without
   thinking.
   Steele: "Aha!  We've finally got you talking jargon too!"
   Stallman: "What did he say?"
   Steele: "He just used `canonical' in the canonical way."
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 CATATONIA (kat-uh-toe'-nee-uh) n. A condition of suspended animation
   in which the system is in a wedged (CATATONIC) state.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 CDR (ku'der) [from LISP] v. With "down", to trace down a list of
   elements.  "Shall we cdr down the agenda?"  Usage: silly.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 CHOMP v. To lose; to chew on something of which more was bitten off
   than one can.  Probably related to gnashing of teeth.  See
   BAGBITER.  A hand gesture commonly accompanies this, consisting of
   the four fingers held together as if in a mitten or hand puppet,
   and the fingers and thumb open and close rapidly to illustrate a
   biting action.  The gesture alone means CHOMP CHOMP (see Verb
   Doubling).
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 CLOSE n. Abbreviation for "close (or right) parenthesis", used when
   necessary to eliminate oral ambiguity.  See OPEN.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 COKEBOTTLE n. Any very unusual character.  MIT people complain about
   the "control-meta-cokebottle" commands at SAIL, and SAIL people
   complain about the "altmode-altmode-cokebottle" commands at MIT.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 COM MODE (variant: COMM MODE) [from the ITS feature for linking two or
   more terminals together so that text typed on any is echoed on all,
   providing a means of conversation among hackers] n. The state a
   terminal is in when linked to another in this way.  Com mode has a
   special set of jargon words, used to save typing, which are not
   used orally:
     Part 1:
        BCNU    Be seeing you.
        BTW     By the way...
        BYE?    Are you ready to unlink?  (This is the standard way to
                end a com mode conversation; the other person types
                BYE to confirm, or else continues the conversation.)
        CUL     See you later.
        FOO?    A greeting, also meaning R U THERE?  Often used in the
                case of unexpected links, meaning also "Sorry if I
                butted in" (linker) or "What's up?" (linkee).
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 COM MODE [cont.] (variant: COMM MODE) [from the ITS feature for
   linking two or more terminals together so that text typed on any
   is echoed on all, providing a means of conversation among hackers]
   n. The state a terminal is in when linked to another in this way.
   Com mode has a special set of jargon words, used to save typing,
   which are not used orally:
     Part 2:
        FYI     For your information...
        GA      Go ahead (used when two people have tried to type
                simultaneously; this cedes the right to type to
                the other).
        HELLOP  A greeting, also meaning R U THERE?  (An instance
                of the "-P" convention.)
        NIL     No (see the main entry for NIL).
        OBTW    Oh, by the way...
        R U THERE?      Are you there?
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 COM MODE [cont.] (variant: COMM MODE) [from the ITS feature for
   linking two or more terminals together so that text typed on any
   is echoed on all, providing a means of conversation among hackers]
   n. The state a terminal is in when linked to another in this way.
   Com mode has a special set of jargon words, used to save typing,
   which are not used orally:
     Part 3:
        SEC     Wait a second (sometimes written SEC...).
        T       Yes (see the main entry for T).
        TNX     Thanks.
        TNX 1.0E6       Thanks a million (humorous).
        <double CRLF>  When the typing party has finished, he types
                two CRLF's to signal that he is done; this leaves a
                blank line between individual "speeches" in the
                conversation, making it easier to re-read the
                preceding text.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 COM MODE [cont.] (variant: COMM MODE) [from the ITS feature for
   linking two or more terminals together so that text typed on any
   is echoed on all, providing a means of conversation among hackers]
   n. The state a terminal is in when linked to another in this way.
   Com mode has a special set of jargon words, used to save typing,
   which are not used orally:
     Part 4:
        <name>: When three or more terminals are linked, each speech
                is preceded by the typist's login name and a colon (or
                a hyphen) to indicate who is typing.  The login name
                often is shortened to a unique prefix (possibly a
                single letter) during a very long conversation.
   At Stanford, where the link feature is implemented by "talk loops",
   the term TALK MODE is used in place of COM MODE.  Most of the above
   "sub-jargon" is used at both Stanford and MIT.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 CONNECTOR CONSPIRACY [probably came into prominence with the
   appearance of the KL-10, none of whose connectors match anything
   else] n. The tendency of manufacturers (or, by extension,
   programmers or purveyors of anything) to come up with new products
   which don't fit together with the old stuff, thereby making you buy
   either all new stuff or expensive interface devices.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 CONS [from LISP] 1. v. To add a new element to a list.  2. CONS UP:
   v. To synthesize from smaller pieces: "to cons up an example".
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 CRASH 1. n. A sudden, usually drastic failure.  Most often said of the
   system (q.v., definition #1), sometimes of magnetic disk drives.
   "Three lusers lost their files in last night's disk crash."  A disk
   crash which entails the read/write heads dropping onto the surface
   of the disks and scraping off the oxide may also be referred to as
   a "head crash".  2. v. To fail suddenly.  "Has the system just
   crashed?"  Also used transitively to indicate the cause of the
   crash (usually a person or a program, or both).  "Those idiots
   playing spacewar crashed the system."  Sometimes said of people.
   See GRONK OUT.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 CRETIN 1. n. Congenital loser (q.v.).  2. CRETINOUS: adj. See
   BLETCHEROUS and BAGBITING.  Usage: somewhat ad hominem.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 CRLF (cur'lif, sometimes crul'lif) n. A carriage return (CR) followed
   by a line feed (LF).  See TERPRI.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 CROCK [probably from "layman" slang, which in turn may be derived from
   "crock of shit"] n. An awkward feature or programming technique
   that ought to be made cleaner.  Example: Using small integers to
   represent error codes without the program interpreting them to the
   user is a crock.  Also, a technique that works acceptably but which
   is quite prone to failure if disturbed in the least, for example
   depending on the machine opcodes having particular bit patterns so
   that you can use instructions as data words too; a tightly woven,
   almost completely unmodifiable structure.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 CRUFTY [from "cruddy"] adj. 1. Poorly built, possibly overly complex.
   "This is standard old crufty DEC software".  Hence CRUFT, n. shoddy
   construction.  2. Unpleasant, especially to the touch, often with
   encrusted junk.  Like spilled coffee smeared with peanut butter and
   catsup.  Hence CRUFT, n. disgusting mess.  3. Generally unpleasant.
   CRUFTY or CRUFTIE n. A small crufty object (see FROB); often one
   which doesn't fit well into the scheme of things.  "A LISP property
   list is a good place to store crufties (or, random cruft)."
   [Note:  Does CRUFT have anything to do with the Cruft Lab at
   Harvard?  I don't know, though I was a Harvard student. - GLS]
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 CRUNCH v. 1. To process, usually in a time-consuming or complicated
   way.  Connotes an essentially trivial operation which is
   nonetheless painful to perform.  The pain may be due to the
   triviality being imbedded in a loop from 1 to 1000000000.  "FORTRAN
   programs do mostly number crunching."  2. To reduce the size of a
   file by a complicated scheme that produces bit configurations
   completely unrelated to the original data, such as by a Huffman
   code.  (The file ends up looking like a paper document would if
   somebody crunched the paper into a wad.)  Since such compression
   usually takes more computations than simpler methods such as
   counting repeated characters (such as spaces) the term is doubly
   appropriate.  (This meaning is usually used in the construction
   "file crunch(ing)" to distinguish it from "number crunch(ing)".)
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 CTY (city) n. The terminal physically associated with a computer's
   operating console.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 CUSPY [from the DEC acronym CUSP, for Commonly Used System Program,
   i.e., a utility program used by many people] (WPI) adj. 1. (of a
   program) Well-written.  2. Functionally excellent.  A program which
   performs well and interfaces well to users is cuspy.  See RUDE.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 DAEMON (day'mun, dee'mun) [archaic form of "demon", which has slightly
   different connotations (q.v.)] n. A program which is not invoked
   explicitly, but which lays dormant waiting for some condition(s) to
   occur.  The idea is that the perpetrator of the condition need not
   be aware that a daemon is lurking (though often a program will
   commit an action only because it knows that it will implicitly
   invoke a daemon).  For example, writing a file on the lpt spooler's
   directory will invoke the spooling daemon, which prints the file.
   The advantage is that programs which want (in this example) files
   printed need not compete for access to the lpt.  They simply enter
   their implicit requests and let the daemon decide what to do with
   them.  Daemons are usually spawned automatically by the system, and
   may either live forever or be regenerated at intervals.  Usage:
   DAEMON and DEMON (q.v.) are often used interchangeably, but seem to
   have distinct connotations.  DAEMON was introduced to computing by
   CTSS people (who pronounced it dee'mon) and used it to refer to
   what is now called a DRAGON or PHANTOM (q.v.).  The meaning and
   pronunciation have drifted, and we think this glossary reflects
   current usage.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 DAY MODE  See PHASE (of people).
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 DEADLOCK n. A situation wherein two or more processes are unable to
   proceed because each is waiting for another to do something.  A
   common example is a program communicating to a PTY or STY, which
   may find itself waiting for output from the PTY/STY before sending
   anything more to it, while the PTY/STY is similarly waiting for
   more input from the controlling program before outputting anything.
   (This particular flavor of deadlock is called "starvation".
   Another common flavor is "constipation", where each process is
   trying to send stuff to the other, but all buffers are full because
   nobody is reading anything.)  See DEADLY EMBRACE.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 DEADLY EMBRACE n. Same as DEADLOCK (q.v.), though usually used only
   when exactly two processes are involved.  DEADLY EMBRACE is the
   more popular term in Europe; DEADLOCK in the United States.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 DEMENTED adj. Yet another term of disgust used to describe a program.
   The connotation in this case is that the program works as designed,
   but the design is bad.  For example, a program that generates large
   numbers of meaningless error messages implying it is on the point
   of imminent collapse.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 DEMON (dee'mun) n. A portion of a program which is not invoked
   explicitly, but which lays dormant waiting for some condition(s) to
   occur.  See DAEMON.  The distinction is that demons are usually
   processes within a program, while daemons are usually programs
   running on an operating system.  Demons are particularly common in
   AI programs.  For example, a knowledge manipulation program might
   implement inference rules as demons.  Whenever a new piece of
   knowledge was added, various demons would activate (which demons
   depends on the particular piece of data) and would create
   additional pieces of knowledge by applying their respective
   inference rules to the original piece.  These new pieces could in
   turn activate more demons as the inferences filtered down through
   chains of logic.  Meanwhile the main program could continue with
   whatever its primary task was.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 DIABLO (dee-ah'blow) [from the Diablo printer] 1. n. Any letter-
   quality printing device.  2. v. To produce letter-quality output
   from such a device.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 DIDDLE v. To work with in a not particularly serious manner.  "I
   diddled with a copy of ADVENT so it didn't double-space all the
   time."  "Let's diddle this piece of code and see if the problem
   goes away."  See TWEAK and TWIDDLE.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 DIKE [from "diagonal cutters"] v. To remove a module or disable it.
   "When in doubt, dike it out."
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 DMP (dump)  See BIN.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 DO PROTOCOL [from network protocol programming] v. To perform an
   interaction with somebody or something that follows a clearly
   defined procedure.  For example, "Let's do protocol with the check"
   at a restaurant means to ask the waitress for the check, calculate
   the tip and everybody's share, generate change as necessary, and
   pay the bill.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 DOWN 1. adj. Not working.  "The up escalator is down."  2. TAKE DOWN,
   BRING DOWN: v. To deactivate, usually for repair work.  See UP.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 DPB (duh-pib') [from the PDP-10 instruction set] v. To plop something
   down in the middle.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 DRAGON n. (MIT) A program similar to a "daemon" (q.v.), except that it
   is not invoked at all, but is instead used by the system to perform
   various secondary tasks.  A typical example would be an accounting
   program, which keeps track of who is logged in, accumulates load-
   average statistics, etc.  At MIT, all free TV's display a list of
   people logged in, where they are, what they're running, etc. along
   with some random picture (such as a unicorn, Snoopy, or the
   Enterprise) which is generated by the "NAME DRAGON".  See PHANTOM.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 ENGLISH n. The source code for a program, which may be in any
   language, as opposed to BINARY.  Usage: slightly obsolete, used
   mostly by old-time hackers, though recognizable in context.  At
   MIT, directory SYSENG is where the "English" for system programs is
   kept, and SYSBIN, the binaries.  SAIL has many such directories,
   but the canonical one is [CSP,SYS].
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 EPSILON [from standard mathematical notation for a small quantity] 1.
   n. A small quantity of anything.  "The cost is epsilon."  2. adj.
   Very small, negligible; less than marginal.  "We can get this
   feature for epsilon cost."  3. WITHIN EPSILON OF: Close enough
   to be indistinguishable for all practical purposes.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 EXCH (ex'chuh, ekstch) [from the PDP-10 instruction set] v. To
   exchange two things, each for the other.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 EXCL (eks'cul) n. Abbreviation for "exclamation point".  See BANG,
   SHRIEK, WOW.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 EXE (ex'ee)  See BIN.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 FAULTY adj. Same denotation as "bagbiting", "bletcherous", "losing",
   q.v., but the connotation is much milder.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 FEATURE n. 1. A surprising property of a program.  Occasionally docu-
   mented.  To call a property a feature sometimes means the author of
   the program did not consider the particular case, and the program
   makes an unexpected, although not strictly speaking an incorrect
   response.  See BUG.  "That's not a bug, that's a feature!"  A bug
   can be changed to a feature by documenting it.  2. A well-known and
   beloved property; a facility.  Sometimes features are planned, but
   are called crocks by others.  An approximately correct spectrum:
 
   (These terms are all used to describe programs or portions thereof,
   except for the first two, which are included for completeness.)
        CRASH  STOPPAGE  BUG  SCREW  LOSS  MISFEATURE
                CROCK  KLUGE  HACK  WIN  FEATURE  PERFECTION
   (The last is never actually attained.)
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 FEEP 1. n. The soft bell of a display terminal (except for a VT-52!);
   a beep.  2. v. To cause the display to make a feep sound.  TTY's do
   not have feeps.  Alternate forms: BEEP, BLEEP, or just about
   anything suitably onomatopoeic.  The term BREEDLE is sometimes
   heard at SAIL, where the terminal bleepers are not particularly
   "soft" (they sound more like the musical equivalent of sticking out
   one's tongue).  The "feeper" on a VT-52 has been compared to the
   sound of a '52 Chevy stripping its gears.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 FENCEPOST ERROR n. The discrete equivalent of a boundary condition.
   Often exhibited in programs by iterative loops.  From the following
   problem: "If you build a fence 100 feet long with posts ten feet
   apart, how many posts do you need?"  (Either 9 or 11 is a better
   answer than the obvious 10.)
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 FINE (WPI) adj. Good, but not good enough to be CUSPY.  [The word FINE
   is used elsewhere, of course, but without the implicit comparison
   to the higher level implied by CUSPY.]
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 FLAG DAY [from a bit of Multics history involving a change in the
   ASCII character set originally scheduled for June 14, 1966]
   n. A software change which is neither forward nor backward
   compatible, and which is costly to make and costly to revert.
   "Can we install that without causing a flag day for all users?"
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 FLAKEY adj. Subject to frequent lossages.  See LOSSAGE.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 FLAME v. To speak incessantly and/or rabidly on some relatively
   uninteresting subject or with a patently ridiculous attitude.
   FLAME ON: v. To continue to flame.  See RAVE.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 FLAP v. To unload a DECtape (so it goes flap, flap, flap...).  Old
   hackers at MIT tell of the days when the disk was device 0 and
   microtapes were 1, 2,... and attempting to flap device 0 would
   instead start a motor banging inside a cabinet near the disk!
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 FLAVOR n. 1. Variety, type, kind.  "DDT commands come in two flavors."
   2. The attribute of causing something to be FLAVORFUL.  "This
   convention yields additional flavor by allowing one to..."
   See VANILLA.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 FLAVORFUL adj. Aesthetically pleasing.  See RANDOM and LOSING for
   antonyms.  See also the entry for TASTE.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 FLUSH v. 1. To delete something, usually superfluous.  "All that
   nonsense has been flushed."  Standard ITS terminology for aborting
   an output operation.  2. To leave at the end of a day's work (as
   opposed to leaving for a meal).  "I'm going to flush now."  "Time
   to flush."  3. To exclude someone from an activity.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 FOO 1. [from Yiddish "feh" or the Anglo-Saxon "fooey!"] interj. Term
   of disgust.  2. [from FUBAR (Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition),
   from WWII, often seen as FOOBAR] Name used for temporary programs,
   or samples of three-letter names.  Other similar words are BAR, BAZ
   (Stanford corruption of BAR), and rarely RAG.  These have been used
   in Pogo as well.  3. Used very generally as a sample name for
   absolutely anything.  The old `Smokey Stover' comic strips often
   included the word FOO, in particular on license plates of cars.
   MOBY FOO: See MOBY. 4. The legendary South Sea island FOO bird,
   named for its characteristic squawk, "whose digestive system
   [as described by Spider Robinson] is so incredibly rank that,
   if its excrement should contact your skin, re-exposure of the
   contaminated skin to air is invariably fatal."  Thus, "if the
   foo defecates, wear it."
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 FRIED adj. 1. Non-working due to hardware failure; burnt out.  2. Of
   people, exhausted.  Said particularly of those who continue to work
   in such a state.  Often used as an explanation or excuse.  "Yeah, I
   know that fix destroyed the file system, but I was fried when I put
   it in."
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 FROB 1. n. (MIT) The official Tech Model Railroad Club definition is
   "FROB = protruding arm or trunnion", and by metaphoric extension
   any somewhat small thing.  See FROBNITZ.  2. v. Abbreviated form of
   FROBNICATE.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 FROBNICATE v. To manipulate or adjust, to tweak.  Derived from
   FROBNITZ (q.v.).  Usually abbreviated to FROB.  Thus one has the
   saying "to frob a frob".  See TWEAK and TWIDDLE.  Usage: FROB,
   TWIDDLE, and TWEAK sometimes connote points along a continuum.
   FROB connotes aimless manipulation; TWIDDLE connotes gross
   manipulation, often a coarse search for a proper setting; TWEAK
   connotes fine-tuning.  If someone is turning a knob on an
   oscilloscope, then if he's carefully adjusting it he is probably
   tweaking it; if he is just turning it but looking at the screen he
   is probably twiddling it; but if he's just doing it because turning
   a knob is fun, he's frobbing it.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 FROBNITZ, pl. FROBNITZEM (frob'nitsm) n. An unspecified physical
   object, a widget.  Also refers to electronic black boxes.  This
   rare form is usually abbreviated to FROTZ, or more commonly to
   FROB.  Also used are FROBNULE and FROBULE.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 FROG (variant: PHROG) 1. interj. Term of disgust (we seem to have a
   lot of them).  2. Used as a name for just about anything.  See FOO.
   3. n. Of things, a crock.  Of people, somewhere inbetween a turkey
   and a toad.  4. Jake Brown (FRG@SAIL).  5. FROGGY: adj. Similar to
   BAGBITING (q.v.), but milder.  "This froggy program is taking
   forever to run!"
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 FROTZ 1. n. See FROBNITZ.  2. MUMBLE FROTZ: An interjection of very
   mild disgust.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 FRY v. 1. To fail.  Said especially of smoke-producing hardware
   failures.  2. More generally, to become non-working.  Usage: never
   said of software, only of hardware and humans.  See FRIED.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 FTP (spelled out, NOT pronounced "fittip") 1. n. The File Transfer
   Protocol for transmitting files between systems on the AInet.  2.
   v. To transfer a file using the File Transfer Program.  "Lemme get
   this copy of Wuthering Heights FTP'd from SAIL."
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 FUDGE 1. v. To perform in an incomplete but marginally acceptable way,
   particularly with respect to the writing of a program.  "I didn't
   feel like going through that pain and suffering, so I fudged it."
   2. n. The resulting code.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 FUDGE FACTOR n. A value or parameter that is varied in an ad hoc way
   to produce the desired result.  The terms "tolerance" and "slop"
   are also used, though these usually indicate a one-sided leeway,
   such as a buffer which is made larger than necessary because one
   isn't sure exactly how large it needs to be, and it is better to
   waste a little space than to lose completely for not having enough.
   A fudge factor, on the other hand, can often be tweaked in more
   than one direction.  An example might be the coefficients of an
   equation, where the coefficients are varied in an attempt to make
   the equation fit certain criteria.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 GABRIEL [for Dick Gabriel, SAIL volleyball fanatic] n. An unnecessary
   (in the opinion of the opponent) stalling tactic, e.g., tying one's
   shoelaces or hair repeatedly, asking the time, etc.  Also used to
   refer to the perpetrator of such tactics.  Also, "pulling a
   Gabriel", "Gabriel mode".
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 GARBAGE COLLECT v., GARBAGE COLLECTION n. See GC.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 GARPLY n. (Stanford) Another meta-word popular among SAIL hackers.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 GAS [as in "gas chamber"] interj. 1. A term of disgust and hatred,
   implying that gas should be dispensed in generous quantities,
   thereby exterminating the source of irritation.  "Some loser just
   reloaded the system for no reason!  Gas!"  2. A term suggesting
   that someone or something ought to be flushed out of mercy.  "The
   system's wedging every few minutes.  Gas!"  3. v. FLUSH (q.v.).
   "You should gas that old crufty software."  4. GASEOUS adj.
   Deserving of being gassed.  Usage: primarily used by Geoff
   Goodfellow at SRI, but spreading; became particularly popular after
   the Moscone/Milk murders in San Francisco, when it was learned that
   Dan White (who supported Proposition 7) would get the gas chamber
   under 7 if convicted.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 GC [from LISP terminology] 1. v. To clean up and throw away useless
   things.  "I think I'll GC the top of my desk today."  2. v. To
   recycle, reclaim, or put to another use.  3. n. An instantiation of
   the GC process.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 GEDANKEN [from Einstein's term "gedanken-experimenten", such as the
   standard proof that E=mc^2] adj. An AI project which is written up
   in grand detail without ever being implemented to any great extent.
   Usually perpetrated by people who aren't very good hackers or find
   programming distasteful or are just in a hurry.  A gedanken thesis
   is usually marked by an obvious lack of intuition about what is
   programmable and what is not and about what does and does not
   constitute a clear specification of a program-related concept such
   as an algorithm.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 GLASS TTY n. A terminal which has a display screen but which, because
   of hardware or software limitations, behaves like a teletype or
   other printing terminal.  An example is the ADM-3 (without cursor
   control).  A glass tty can't do neat display hacks, and you can't
   save the output either.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 GLITCH [from the Yiddish "glitshen", to slide] 1. n. A sudden
   interruption in electric service, sanity, or program function.
   Sometimes recoverable.  2. v. To commit a glitch.  See GRITCH.
   3. v. (Stanford) To scroll a display screen.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 GLORK 1. interj. Term of mild surprise, usually tinged with outrage,
   as when one attempts to save the results of two hours of editing
   and finds that the system has just crashed.  2. Used as a name for
   just about anything.  See FOO.  3. v. Similar to GLITCH (q.v.), but
   usually used reflexively.  "My program just glorked itself."
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 GOBBLE v. To consume or to obtain.  GOBBLE UP tends to imply
   "consume", while GOBBLE DOWN tends to imply "obtain".  "The output
   spy gobbles characters out of a TTY output buffer."  "I guess I'll
   gobble down a copy of the documentation tomorrow."  See SNARF.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 GORP (CMU) [perhaps from a brand of dried hiker's food?]  Another
   metasyntactic variable, like FOO and BAR.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 GRIND v. 1. (primarily MIT) To format code, especially LISP code, by
   indenting lines so that it looks pretty.  Hence, PRETTY PRINT, the
   generic term for such operations.  2. To run seemingly
   interminably, performing some tedious and inherently useless task.
   Similar to CRUNCH.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 GRITCH 1. n. A complaint (often caused by a GLITCH (q.v.)).  2. v. To
   complain.  Often verb-doubled: "Gritch gritch".  3. Glitch.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 GROK [from the novel "Stranger in a Strange Land", by Robert Heinlein,
   where it is a Martian word meaning roughly "to be one with"] v. To
   understand, usually in a global sense.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 GRONK [popularized by the cartoon strip "B.C." by Johnny Hart, but the
   word apparently predates that] v. 1. To clear the state of a wedged
   device and restart it.  More severe than "to frob" (q.v.).  2. To
   break.  "The teletype scanner was gronked, so we took the system
   down."  3. GRONKED: adj. Of people, the condition of feeling very
   tired or sick.  4. GRONK OUT: v. To cease functioning.  Of people,
   to go home and go to sleep.  "I guess I'll gronk out now; see you
   all tomorrow."
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 GROVEL v. To work interminably and without apparent progress.  Often
   used with "over".  "The compiler grovelled over my code."  Compare
   GRIND and CRUNCH.  Emphatic form: GROVEL OBSCENELY.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 GRUNGY adj. Incredibly dirty or grubby.  Anything which has been
   washed within the last year is not really grungy.  Also used
   metaphorically; hence some programs (especially crocks) can be
   described as grungy.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 HACK n. 1. Originally a quick job that produces what is needed, but
   not well.  2. The result of that job.  3. NEAT HACK: A clever
   technique.  Also, a brilliant practical joke, where neatness is
   correlated with cleverness, harmlessness, and surprise value.
   Example: the Caltech Rose Bowl card display switch circa 1961.
   4. REAL HACK: A crock (occasionally affectionate).
   v. 5. With "together", to throw something together so it will work.
   6. To bear emotionally or physically.  "I can't hack this heat!" 7.
   To work on something (typically a program).  In specific sense:
   "What are you doing?"  "I'm hacking TECO."  In general sense: "What
   do you do around here?"  "I hack TECO."  (The former is
   time-immediate, the latter time-extended.)  More generally, "I hack
   x" is roughly equivalent to "x is my bag".  "I hack solid-state
   physics."
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 HACK n. (contd.) 8. To pull a prank on.  See definition 3 and HACKER
   (def #6).  9. v.i. To waste time (as opposed to TOOL).  "Watcha up
   to?" "Oh, just hacking."  10. HACK UP (ON): To hack, but generally
   implies that the result is meanings 1-2.  11. HACK VALUE: Term used
   as the reason or motivation for expending effort toward a seemingly
   useless goal, the point being that the accomplished goal is a hack.
   For example, MacLISP has code to read and print roman numerals,
   which was installed purely for hack value.
   HAPPY HACKING: A farewell.  HOW'S HACKING?: A friendly greeting
   among hackers.  HACK HACK: A somewhat pointless but friendly
   comment, often used as a temporary farewell.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 HACKER [originally, someone who makes furniture with an axe] n. 1. A
   person who enjoys learning the details of programming systems and
   how to stretch their capabilities, as opposed to most users who
   prefer to learn only the minimum necessary.  2. One who programs
   enthusiastically, or who enjoys programming rather than just
   theorizing about programming.  3. A person capable of appreciating
   hack value (q.v.).  4. A person who is good at programming quickly.
   Not everything a hacker produces is a hack.  5. An expert at a
   particular program, or one who frequently does work using it or on
   it; example: "A SAIL hacker".  (Definitions 1 to 5 are correlated,
   and people who fit them congregate.)  6. A malicious or inquisitive
   meddler who tries to discover information by poking around.  Hence
   "password hacker", "network hacker".
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 HACKISH adj. Being or involving a hack.  HACKISHNESS n.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 HAIR n. The complications which make something hairy.  "Decoding TECO
   commands requires a certain amount of hair."  Often seen in the
   phrase INFINITE HAIR, which connotes extreme complexity.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 HAIRY adj. 1. Overly complicated.  "DWIM is incredibly hairy."  2.
   Incomprehensible.  "DWIM is incredibly hairy."  3.  Of people,
   high-powered, authoritative, rare, expert, and/or incomprehensible.
   Hard to explain except in context: "He knows this hairy lawyer who
   says there's nothing to worry about."
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 HAKMEM n. MIT AI Memo 239 (February 1972).  A collection of neat
   mathematical and programming hacks contributed by many people
   at MIT and elsewhere.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 HANDWAVE 1. v. To gloss over a complex point; to distract a listener;
   to support a (possibly actually valid) point with blatantly faulty
   logic.  2. n. The act of handwaving.  "Boy, what a handwave!"  The
   use of this word is often accompanied by gestures: both hands up,
   palms forward, swinging the hands in a vertical plane pivoting at
   the elbows and/or shoulders (depending on the magnitude of the
   handwave); alternatively, holding the forearms still while rotating
   the hands at the wrist to make them flutter.  In context, the
   gestures alone can suffice as a remark.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 HARDWARILY adv. In a way pertaining to hardware.  "The system is
   hardwarily unreliable."  The adjective "hardwary" is NOT used.  See
   SOFTWARILY.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 HELLO WALL  See WALL.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 HIRSUTE  Occasionally used humorously as a synonym for HAIRY.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 HOOK n. An extraneous piece of software or hardware included in order
   to simplify later additions or debug options.  For instance, a
   program might execute a location that is normally a JFCL, but by
   changing the JFCL to a PUSHJ one can insert a debugging routine at
   that point.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 HUMONGOUS, HUMUNGOUS  See HUNGUS.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 HUNGUS (hung'-ghis) [perhaps related to current slang "humongous";
   which one came first (if either) is unclear] adj. Large, unwieldy,
   usually unmanageable.  "TCP is a hungus piece of code."  "This is a
   hungus set of modifications."
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 IMPCOM  See TELNET.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 INFINITE adj. Consisting of a large number of objects; extreme.  Used
   very loosely as in: "This program produces infinite garbage."
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 IRP (erp) [from the MIDAS pseudo-op which generates a block of code
   repeatedly, substituting in various places the car and/or cdr of
   the list(s) supplied at the IRP] v. To perform a series of tasks
   repeatedly with a minor substitution each time through.  "I guess
   I'll IRP over these homework papers so I can give them some random
   grade for this semester."
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 JFCL (djif'kl or djafik'l) [based on the PDP-10 instruction that acts
   as a fast no-op] v. To cancel or annul something.  "Why don't you
   jfcl that out?"
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 JIFFY n. 1. Interval of CPU time, commonly 1/60 second or 1
   millisecond.  2. Indeterminate time from a few seconds to forever.
   "I'll do it in a jiffy" means certainly not now and possibly never.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 JOCK n. Programmer who is characterized by large and somewhat brute
   force programs.  The term is particularly well-suited for systems
   programmers.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 J. RANDOM  See RANDOM.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 JRST (jerst) [based on the PDP-10 jump instruction] v. To suddenly
   change subjects.  Usage: rather rare.  "Jack be nimble, Jack be
   quick; Jack jrst over the candle stick."
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 JSYS (jay'sis), pl. JSI (jay'sigh) [Jump to SYStem] See UUO.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 KLUGE (kloodj) alt. KLUDGE [from the German "kluge", clever] n. 1. A
   Rube Goldberg device in hardware or software.  2. A clever
   programming trick intended to solve a particular nasty case in an
   efficient, if not clear, manner.  Often used to repair bugs.  Often
   verges on being a crock.  3. Something that works for the wrong
   reason.  4. v. To insert a kluge into a program.  "I've kluged this
   routine to get around that weird bug, but there's probably a better
   way."  Also KLUGE UP.  5. KLUGE AROUND: To avoid by inserting a
   kluge.  6. (WPI) A feature which is implemented in a RUDE manner.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 LDB (lid'dib) [from the PDP-10 instruction set] v. To extract from the
   middle.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 LIFE n. A cellular-automata game invented by John Horton Conway, and
   first introduced publicly by Martin Gardner (Scientific American,
   October 1970).
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 LINE FEED (standard ASCII terminology) 1. v. To feed the paper through
   a terminal by one line (in order to print on the next line).  2. n.
   The "character" which causes the terminal to perform this action.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 LINE STARVE (MIT) Inverse of LINE FEED.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 LOGICAL [from the technical term "logical device", wherein a physical
   device is referred to by an arbitrary name] adj. Understood to have
   a meaning not necessarily corresponding to reality.  E.g., if a
   person who has long held a certain post (e.g., Les Earnest at SAIL)
   left and was replaced, the replacement would for a while be known
   as the "logical Les Earnest".  The word VIRTUAL is also used.  At
   SAIL, "logical" compass directions denote a coordinate system in
   which "logical north" is toward San Francisco, "logical west" is
   toward the ocean, etc., even though logical north varies between
   physical (true) north near SF and physical west near San Jose.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 LOSE [from MIT jargon] v. 1. To fail.  A program loses when it
   encounters an exceptional condition.  2. To be exceptionally
   unaesthetic.  3. Of people, to be obnoxious or unusually stupid (as
   opposed to ignorant).  4. DESERVE TO LOSE: v. Said of someone who
   willfully does the wrong thing; humorously, if one uses a feature
   known to be marginal.  What is meant is that one deserves the
   consequences of one's losing actions.  "Boy, anyone who tries to
   use MULTICS deserves to lose!"
   LOSE LOSE - a reply or comment on a situation.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 LOSER n. An unexpectedly bad situation, program, programmer, or
   person.  Especially "real loser".
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 LOSS n. Something which loses.  WHAT A (MOBY) LOSS!: interjection.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 LOSSAGE n. The result of a bug or malfunction.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 LPT (lip'-it) n. Line printer, of course.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 LUSER  See USER.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 MACROTAPE n. An industry standard reel of tape, as opposed to a
   MICROTAPE.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 MAGIC adj. 1. As yet unexplained, or too complicated to explain.
   (Arthur C. Clarke once said that magic was as-yet-not-understood
   science.)  "TTY echoing is controlled by a large number of magic
   bits."  "This routine magically computes the parity of an eight-bit
   byte in three instructions."  2. (Stanford) A feature not generally
   publicized which allows something otherwise impossible, or a
   feature formerly in that category but now unveiled.  Example: The
   keyboard commands which override the screen-hiding features.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 MARGINAL adj. 1. Extremely small.  "A marginal increase in core can
   decrease GC time drastically."  2. Of extremely small merit.  "This
   proposed new feature seems rather marginal to me."  3. Of extremely
   small probability of winning.  "The power supply was rather
   marginal anyway; no wonder it crapped out."  4. MARGINALLY: adv.
   Slightly.  "The ravs here are only marginally better than at Small
   Eating Place."
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 MICROTAPE n. Occasionally used to mean a DECtape, as opposed to a
   MACROTAPE.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 MISFEATURE n. A feature which eventually screws someone, possibly
   because it is not adequate for a new situation which has evolved.
   It is not the same as a bug because fixing it involves a gross
   philosophical change to the structure of the system involved.
   Often a former feature becomes a misfeature because a tradeoff was
   made whose parameters subsequently changed (possibly only in the
   judgment of the implementors).  "Well, yeah, it's kind of a
   misfeature that file names are limited to six characters, but we're
   stuck with it for now."
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 MOBY [seems to have been in use among model railroad fans years ago.
   Entered the world of AI with the Fabritek 256K moby memory of
   MIT-AI.  Derived from Melville's "Moby Dick" (some say from "Moby
   Pickle").] 1. adj. Large, immense, or complex.  "A moby frob."  2.
   n. The maximum address space of a machine, hence 3. n. 256K words,
   the size of a PDP-10 moby.  (The maximum address space means the
   maximum normally addressable space, as opposed to the amount of
   physical memory a machine can have.  Thus the MIT PDP-10s each have
   two mobies, usually referred to as the "low moby" (0-777777) and
   "high moby" (1000000-1777777), or as "moby 0" and "moby 1".  MIT-AI
   has four mobies of address space: moby 2 is the PDP-6 memory, and
   moby 3 the PDP-11 interface.)  In this sense "moby" is often used
   as a generic unit of either address space (18. bits' worth) or of
   memory (about a megabyte, or 9/8 megabyte (if one accounts for
   difference between 32.- and 36.-bit words), or 5/4 megacharacters).
   4. A title of address (never of third-person reference), usually
   used to show admiration, respect, and/or friendliness to a
   competent hacker.  "So, moby Knight, how's the CONS machine doing?"
   5. adj. In backgammon, doubles on the dice, as in "moby sixes",
   "moby ones", etc.
   MOBY FOO, MOBY WIN, MOBY LOSS: standard emphatic forms.
   FOBY MOO: a spoonerism due to Greenblatt.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 MODE n. A general state, usually used with an adjective describing the
   state.  "No time to hack; I'm in thesis mode."  Usage: in its
   jargon sense, MODE is most often said of people, though it is
   sometimes applied to programs and inanimate objects.  "If you're on
   a TTY, E will switch to non-display mode."  In particular, see DAY
   MODE, NIGHT MODE, and YOYO MODE; also COM MODE, TALK MODE, and
   GABRIEL MODE.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 MODULO prep. Except for.  From mathematical terminology: one can
   consider saying that 4=22 "except for the 9's" (4=22 mod 9).
   "Well, LISP seems to work okay now, modulo that GC bug."
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 MOON n. 1. A celestial object whose phase is very important to
   hackers.  See PHASE OF THE MOON.  2. Dave Moon (MOON@MC).
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 MUMBLAGE n. The topic of one's mumbling (see MUMBLE).  "All that
   mumblage" is used like "all that stuff" when it is not quite clear
   what it is or how it works, or like "all that crap" when "mumble"
   is being used as an implicit replacement for obscenities.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 MUMBLE interj. 1. Said when the correct response is either too
   complicated to enunciate or the speaker has not thought it out.
   Often prefaces a longer answer, or indicates a general reluctance
   to get into a big long discussion.  "Well, mumble."  2. Sometimes
   used as an expression of disagreement.  "I think we should buy it."
   "Mumble!"  Common variant: MUMBLE FROTZ.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 MUNCH (often confused with "mung", q.v.) v. To transform information
   in a serial fashion, often requiring large amounts of computation.
   To trace down a data structure.  Related to CRUNCH (q.v.), but
   connotes less pain.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 MUNCHING SQUARES n. A display hack dating back to the PDP-1, which
   employs a trivial computation (involving XOR'ing of x-y display
   coordinates - see HAKMEM items 146-148) to produce an impressive
   display of moving, growing, and shrinking squares.  The hack
   usually has a parameter (usually taken from toggle switches) which
   when well-chosen can produce amazing effects.  Some of these,
   discovered recently on the LISP machine, have been christened
   MUNCHING TRIANGLES, MUNCHING W'S, and MUNCHING MAZES.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 MUNG (variant: MUNGE) [recursive acronym for Mung Until No Good] v. 1.
   To make changes to a file, often large-scale, usually irrevocable.
   Occasionally accidental.  See BLT.  2. To destroy, usually
   accidentally, occasionally maliciously.  The system only mungs
   things maliciously.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 N adj. 1. Some large and indeterminate number of objects; "There were
   N bugs in that crock!"; also used in its original sense of a
   variable name.  2. An arbitrarily large (and perhaps infinite)
   number.  3. A variable whose value is specified by the current
   context.  "We'd like to order N wonton soups and a family dinner
   for N-1."  4. NTH: adj. The ordinal counterpart of N. "Now for the
   Nth and last time..."  In the specific context "Nth-year grad
   student", N is generally assumed to be at least 4, and is usually 5
   or more.  See also 69.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 NIGHT MODE  See PHASE (of people).
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 NIL [from LISP terminology for "false"] No.  Usage: used in reply to a
   question, particularly one asked using the "-P" convention.  See T.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 OBSCURE adj. Used in an exaggeration of its normal meaning, to imply a
   total lack of comprehensibility.  "The reason for that last crash
   is obscure."  "FIND's command syntax is obscure."  MODERATELY
   OBSCURE implies that it could be figured out but probably isn't
   worth the trouble.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 OPEN n. Abbreviation for "open (or left) parenthesis", used when
   necessary to eliminate oral ambiguity.  To read aloud the LISP form
   (DEFUN FOO (X) (PLUS X 1)) one might say: "Open def-fun foo, open
   eks close, open, plus ekx one, close close."  See CLOSE.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 PARSE [from linguistic terminology] v. 1. To determine the syntactic
   structure of a sentence or other utterance (close to the standard
   English meaning).  Example: "That was the one I saw you."  "I can't
   parse that."  2. More generally, to understand or comprehend.
   "It's very simple; you just kretch the glims and then aos the
   zotz."  "I can't parse that."  3. Of fish, to have to remove the
   bones yourself (usually at a Chinese restaurant).  "I object to
   parsing fish" means "I don't want to get a whole fish, but a sliced
   one is okay."  A "parsed fish" has been deboned.  There is some
   controversy over whether "unparsed" should mean "bony", or also
   mean "deboned".
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 PATCH 1. n. A temporary addition to a piece of code, usually as a
   quick-and-dirty remedy to an existing bug or misfeature.  A patch
   may or may not work, and may or may not eventually be incorporated
   permanently into the program.  2. v. To insert a patch into a piece
   of code.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 PDL (piddle or puddle) [acronym for Push Down List] n. 1. A LIFO queue
   (stack); more loosely, any priority queue; even more loosely, any
   queue.  A person's pdl is the set of things he has to do in the
   future.  One speaks of the next project to be attacked as having
   risen to the top of the pdl.  "I'm afraid I've got real work to do,
   so this'll have to be pushed way down on my pdl."  See PUSH and
   POP.  2. Dave Lebling (PDL@DM).
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 PESSIMAL [Latin-based antonym for "optimal"] adj. Maximally bad.
   "This is a pessimal situation."
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 PESSIMIZING COMPILER n. A compiler that produces object code that is
   worse than the straightforward or obvious translation.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 PHANTOM n. (Stanford) The SAIL equivalent of a DRAGON (q.v.).  Typical
   phantoms include the accounting program, the news-wire monitor, and
   the lpt and xgp spoolers.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 PHASE (of people) 1. n. The phase of one's waking-sleeping schedule
   with respect to the standard 24-hour cycle.  This is a useful
   concept among people who often work at night according to no fixed
   schedule.  It is not uncommon to change one's phase by as much as
   six hours/day on a regular basis.  "What's your phase?"  "I've been
   getting in about 8 PM lately, but I'm going to work around to the
   day schedule by Friday."  A person who is roughly 12 hours out of
   phase is sometimes said to be in "night mode".  (The term "day
   mode" is also used, but less frequently.)  2. CHANGE PHASE THE HARD
   WAY: To stay awake for a very long time in order to get into a
   different phase.  3. CHANGE PHASE THE EASY WAY: To stay asleep etc.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 PHASE OF THE MOON n. Used humorously as a random parameter on which
   something is said to depend.  Sometimes implies unreliability of
   whatever is dependent, or that reliability seems to be dependent on
   conditions nobody has been able to determine.  "This feature
   depends on having the channel open in mumble mode, having the foo
   switch set, and on the phase of the moon."
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 PLUGH [from the Adventure game] v. See XYZZY.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 POM n. Phase of the moon (q.v.).  Usage: usually used in the phrase
   "POM dependent" which means flakey (q.v.).
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 POP [based on the stack operation that removes the top of a stack, and
   the fact that procedure return addresses are saved on the stack]
   dialect: POPJ (pop-jay), based on the PDP-10 procedure return
   instruction.  v. To return from a digression.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 PPN (pip'in) [DEC terminology, short for Project-Programmer Number] n.
   1. A combination `project' (directory name) and programmer name,
   used to identify a specific directory belonging to that user.  For
   instance, "FOO,BAR" would be the FOO directory for user BAR.  Since
   the name is restricted to three letters, the programmer name is
   usually the person's initials, though sometimes it is a nickname or
   other special sequence.  (Standard DEC setup is to have two octal
   numbers instead of characters; hence the original acronym.)  2.
   Often used loosely to refer to the programmer name alone.  "I want
   to send you some mail; what's your ppn?"  Usage: not used at MIT,
   since ITS does not use ppn's.  The equivalent terms would be UNAME
   and SNAME, depending on context, but these are not used except in
   their technical senses.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 PROTOCOL  See DO PROTOCOL.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 PSEUDOPRIME n. A backgammon prime (six consecutive occupied points)
   with one point missing.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 PTY (pity) n. Pseudo TTY, a simulated TTY used to run a job under the
   supervision of another job.
   PTYJOB (pity-job) n. The job being run on the PTY.  Also a common
   general-purpose program for creating and using PTYs.
   This is DEC and SAIL terminology; the MIT equivalent is STY.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 PUNT [from the punch line of an old joke: "Drop back 15 yards and
   punt"] v. To give up, typically without any intention of retrying.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 PUSH [based on the stack operation that puts the current information
   on a stack, and the fact that procedure call addresses are saved on
   the stack] dialect: PUSHJ (push-jay), based on the PDP-10 procedure
   call instruction.  v. To enter upon a digression, to save the
   current discussion for later.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 QUES (kwess) 1. n. The question mark character ("?").  2. interj.
   What?  Also QUES QUES?  See WALL.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 QUUX [invented by Steele.  Mythically, from the Latin semi-deponent
   verb QUUXO, QUUXARE, QUUXANDUM IRI; noun form variously QUUX
   (plural QUUCES, Anglicized to QUUXES) and QUUXU (genitive plural is
   QUUXUUM, four U's in seven letters).] 1. Originally, a meta-word
   like FOO and FOOBAR.  Invented by Steele for precisely this
   purpose.  2. interj. See FOO; however, denotes very little disgust,
   and is uttered mostly for the sake of the sound of it.  3. n.
   Refers to one of three people who went to Boston Latin School and
   eventually to MIT:
        THE GREAT QUUX:  Guy L. Steele Jr.
        THE LESSER QUUX:  David J. Littleboy
        THE MEDIOCRE QUUX:  Alan P. Swide
   (This taxonomy is said to be similarly applied to three Frankston
   brothers at MIT.)  QUUX, without qualification, usually refers to
   The Great Quux, who is somewhat infamous for light verse and for
   the "Crunchly" cartoons.  4. QUUXY: adj. Of or pertaining to a
   QUUX.  5. n. The Micro Quux (Sam Lewis).
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 RANDOM adj. 1. Unpredictable (closest to mathematical definition);
   weird.  "The system's been behaving pretty randomly."  2. Assorted;
   undistinguished.  "Who was at the conference?"  "Just a bunch of
   random business types."  3.  Frivolous; unproductive; undirected
   (pejorative).  "He's just a random loser."  4. Incoherent or
   inelegant; not well organized.  "The program has a random set of
   misfeatures."  "That's a random name for that function."  "Well,
   all the names were chosen pretty randomly."  5. Gratuitously wrong,
   i.e., poorly done and for no good apparent reason.  For example, a
   program that handles file name defaulting in a particularly useless
   way, or a routine that could easily have been coded using only
   three ac's, but randomly uses seven for assorted non-overlapping
   purposes, so that no one else can invoke it without first saving
   four extra ac's.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 RANDOM adj. [cont.] 6. In no particular order, though deterministic.
   "The I/O channels are in a pool, and when a file is opened one is
   chosen randomly."  n. 7. A random hacker; used particularly of high
   school students who soak up computer time and generally get in the
   way.  8. (occasional MIT usage) One who lives at Random Hall.
   J. RANDOM is often prefixed to a noun to make a "name" out of it
   (by comparison to common names such as "J. Fred Muggs").  The most
   common uses are "J. Random Loser" and "J. Random Nurd" ("Should
   J. Random Loser be allowed to gun down other people?"), but it
   can be used just as an elaborate version of RANDOM in any sense.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 RANDOMNESS n. An unexplainable misfeature; gratuitous inelegance.
   Also, a hack or crock which depends on a complex combination
   of coincidences (or rather, the combination upon which the
   crock depends).  "This hack can output characters 40-57 by
   putting the character in the accumulator field of an XCT and
   then extracting 6 bits -- the low two bits of the XCT opcode
   are the right thing."  "What randomness!"
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 RAPE v. To (metaphorically) screw someone or something, violently.
   Usage: often used in describing file-system damage.  "So-and-so was
   running a program that did absolute disk I/O and ended up raping
   the master directory."
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 RAVE (WPI) v. 1. To persist in discussing a specific subject.  2. To
   speak authoritatively on a subject about which one knows very
   little.  3. To complain to a person who is not in a position to
   correct the difficulty.  4. To purposely annoy another person
   verbally.  5. To evangelize.  See FLAME.  Also used to describe
   a less negative form of blather, such as friendly bullshitting.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 REAL USER n. 1. A commercial user.  One who is paying "real" money for
   his computer usage.  2. A non-hacker.  Someone using the system for
   an explicit purpose (research project, course, etc.).  See USER.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 REAL WORLD, THE n. 1. In programming, those institutions at which
   programming may be used in the same sentence as FORTRAN, COBOL,
   RPG, IBM, etc.  2. To programmers, the location of non-programmers
   and activities not related to programming.  3. A universe in which
   the standard dress is shirt and tie and in which a person's working
   hours are defined as 9 to 5.  4. The location of the status quo.
   5. Anywhere outside a university.  "Poor fellow, he's left MIT and
   gone into the real world."  Used pejoratively by those not in
   residence there.  In conversation, talking of someone who has
   entered the real world is not unlike talking about a deceased
   person.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 REL  See BIN.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 RIGHT THING, THE n. That which is "obviously" the correct or
   appropriate thing to use, do, say, etc.  Use of this term often
   implies that in fact reasonable people may disagree.  "Never let
   your conscience keep you from doing the right thing!"  "What's the
   right thing for LISP to do when it reads '(.)'?"
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 RUDE (WPI) adj. 1. (of a program) Badly written.  2. Functionally
   poor, e.g. a program which is very difficult to use because of
   gratuitously poor (random?) design decisions.  See CUSPY.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 SACRED adj. Reserved for the exclusive use of something (a
   metaphorical extension of the standard meaning).  "Accumulator 7 is
   sacred to the UUO handler."  Often means that anyone may look at
   the sacred object, but clobbering it will screw whatever it is
   sacred to.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 SAGA (WPI) n. A cuspy but bogus raving story dealing with N random
   broken people.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 SAV (save)  See BIN.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 SEMI 1. n. Abbreviation for "semicolon", when speaking.  "Commands to
   GRIND are prefixed by semi-semi-star" means that the prefix is
   ";;*", not 1/4 of a star.  2. Prefix with words such as
   "immediately", as a qualifier.  "When is the system coming up?"
   "Semi-immediately."
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 SERVER n. A kind of DAEMON which performs a service for the requester,
   which often runs on a computer other than the one on which the
   server runs.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 SHIFT LEFT (RIGHT) LOGICAL [from any of various machines' instruction
   sets] 1. v. To move oneself to the left (right).  To move out of
   the way.  2. imper. Get out of that (my) seat!  Usage: often used
   without the "logical", or as "left shift" instead of "shift left".
   Sometimes heard as LSH (lish), from the PDP-10 instruction set.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 SHR (share)  See BIN.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 SHRIEK  See EXCL.  (Occasional CMU usage.)
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
69 adj. Large quantity.  Usage: Exclusive to MIT-AI.  "Go away, I have
   69 things to do to DDT before worrying about fixing the bug in the
   phase of the moon output routine..."
   [Note: Actually, any number less than 100 but large enough to have
   no obvious magic properties will be recognized as a "large number".
   There is no denying that "69" is the local favorite.  I don't know
   whether its origins are related to the obscene interpretation, but
   I do know that 69 decimal = 105 octal, and 69 hexadecimal = 105
   decimal, which is a nice property. - GLS]
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 SLOP n. 1. A one-sided fudge factor (q.v.).  Often introduced to avoid
   the possibility of a fencepost error (q.v.).  2. (used by compiler
   freaks) The ratio of code generated by a compiler to hand-compiled
   code, minus 1; i.e., the space (or maybe time) you lose because you
   didn't do it yourself.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 SLURP v. To read a large data file entirely into core before working
   on it.  "This program slurps in a 1K-by-1K matrix and does an FFT."
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 SNARF v. To grab, esp. a large document or file for the purpose of
   using it either with or without the author's permission.  See BLT.
   Variant: SNARF (IT) DOWN.  (At MIT on ITS, DDT has a command called
   :SNARF which grabs a job from another (inferior) DDT.)
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 SOFTWARE ROT n. Hypothetical disease the existence of which has been
   deduced from the observation that unused programs or features will
   stop working after sufficient time has passed, even if "nothing has
   changed".  Also known as "bit decay".
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 SOFTWARILY adv. In a way pertaining to software.  "The system is
   softwarily unreliable."  The adjective "softwary" is NOT used.  See
   HARDWARILY.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 SOS 1. (ess-oh-ess) n. A losing editor, SON OF STOPGAP.  2. (sahss) v.
   Inverse of AOS, from the PDP-10 instruction set.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 SPAZZ 1. v. To behave spastically or erratically; more often, to
   commit a single gross error.  "Boy, is he spazzing!"  2. n. One who
   spazzes.  "Boy, what a spazz!"  3. n. The result of spazzing.
   "Boy, what a spazz!"
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 SPLAT n. 1. Name used in many places (DEC, IBM, and others) for the
   ASCII star ("*") character.  2. (MIT) Name used by some people for
   the ASCII pound-sign ("#") character.  3. (Stanford) Name used by
   some people for the Stanford/ITS extended ASCII circle-x character.
   (This character is also called "circle-x", "blobby", and "frob",
   among other names.)  4. (Stanford) Name for the semi-mythical
   extended ASCII circle-plus character.  5. Canonical name for an
   output routine that outputs whatever the the local interpretation
   of splat is.  Usage: nobody really agrees what character "splat"
   is, but the term is common.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 SUPDUP v. To communicate with another ARPAnet host using the SUPDUP
   program, which is a SUPer-DUPer TELNET talking a special display
   protocol used mostly in talking to ITS sites.  Sometimes
   abbreviated to SD.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 STATE n. Condition, situation.  "What's the state of NEWIO?"  "It's
   winning away."  "What's your state?"  "I'm about to gronk out."  As
   a special case, "What's the state of the world?" (or, more silly,
   "State-of-world-P?") means "What's new?" or "What's going on?"
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 STOPPAGE n. Extreme lossage (see LOSSAGE) resulting in something
   (usually vital) becoming completely unusable.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 STY (pronounced "sty", not spelled out) n. A pseudo-teletype, which is
   a two-way pipeline with a job on one end and a fake keyboard-tty on
   the other.  Also, a standard program which provides a pipeline from
   its controlling tty to a pseudo-teletype (and thence to another
   tty, thereby providing a "sub-tty").
   This is MIT terminology; the SAIL and DEC equivalent is PTY.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 SUPERPROGRAMMER n. See "wizard", "hacker".  Usage: rare.  (Becoming
   more common among IBM and Yourdon types.)
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 SWAPPED adj. From the use of secondary storage devices to implement
   virtual memory in computer systems.  Something which is SWAPPED IN
   is available for immediate use in main memory, and otherwise is
   SWAPPED OUT.  Often used metaphorically to refer to people's
   memories ("I read TECO ORDER every few months to keep the
   information swapped in.") or to their own availability ("I'll swap
   you in as soon as I finish looking at this other problem.").
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 SYSTEM n. 1. The supervisor program on the computer.  2. Any
   large-scale program.  3. Any method or algorithm.  4. The way
   things are usually done.  Usage: a fairly ambiguous word.  "You
   can't beat the system."
   SYSTEM HACKER: one who hacks the system (in sense 1 only; for sense
   2 one mentions the particular program: e.g., LISP HACKER)
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 T [from LISP terminology for "true"] 1. Yes.  Usage: used in reply to
   a question, particularly one asked using the "-P" convention).  See
   NIL.  2. See TIME T.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 TALK MODE  See COM MODE.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 TASTE n. (primarily MIT-DMS) The quality in programs which tends to be
   inversely proportional to the number of features, hacks, and kluges
   programmed into it.  Also, TASTY, TASTEFUL, TASTEFULNESS.  "This
   feature comes in N tasty flavors."  Although TASTEFUL and FLAVORFUL
   are essentially synonyms, TASTE and FLAVOR are not.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 TECO (tee'koe) [acronym for Text Editor and COrrector] 1. n. A text
   editor developed at MIT, and modified by just about everybody.  If
   all the dialects are included, TECO might well be the single most
   prolific editor in use.  Noted for its powerful pseudo-programming
   features and its incredibly hairy syntax.  2. v. To edit using the
   TECO editor in one of its infinite forms; sometimes used to mean
   "to edit" even when not using TECO!  Usage: rare at SAIL, where
   most people wouldn't touch TECO with a TENEX pole.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 TECO (tee'koe) [cont.] [acronym for Text Editor and COrrector]
   [Historical note: DEC grabbed an ancient version of MIT TECO many
   years ago when it was still a TTY-oriented editor.  By now, TECO at
   MIT is highly display-oriented and is actually a language for
   writing editors, rather than an editor.  Meanwhile, the outside
   world's various versions of TECO remain almost the same as the MIT
   version of ten years ago.  DEC recently tried to discourage its
   use, but an underground movement of sorts kept it alive.]
   [Since this note was written I found out that DEC tried to force
   their hackers by administrative decision to use a hacked up and
   generally lobotomized version of SOS instead of TECO, and they
   revolted. - MRC]
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 TELNET v. To communicate with another ARPAnet host using the TELNET
   program.  TOPS-10 people use the word IMPCOM since that is the
   program name for them.  Sometimes abbreviated to TN.  "I usually TN
   over to SAIL just to read the AP News."
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 TERPRI (tur'pree) [from the LISP 1.5 (and later, MacLISP) function to
   start a new line of output] v. To output a CRLF (q.v.).
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 THEORY n. Used in the general sense of idea, plan, story, or set of
   rules.  "What's the theory on fixing this TECO loss?"  "What's the
   theory on dinner tonight?"  ("Chinatown, I guess.")  "What's the
   current theory on letting losers on during the day?"  "The theory
   behind this change is to fix the following well-known screw..."
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 THRASH v. To move wildly or violently.  Swapping systems which are
   overloaded spend much of their time moving pages into and out of
   core, and are therefore said to thrash.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 TICK n. 1. Interval of time; basic clock time on the computer.
   Typically 1/60 second.  See JIFFY.  2. In simulations, the discrete
   unit of time that passes "between" iterations of the simulation
   mechanism.  In AI applications, this amount of time is often left
   unspecified, since the only constraint of interest is that caused
   things happen after their causes.  This sort of AI simulation is
   often pejoratively referred to as "tick-tick-tick" simulation,
   especially when the issue of simultaneity of events with long,
   independent chains of causes is handwaved.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 TIME T n. 1. An unspecified but usually well-understood time, often
   used in conjunction with a later time T+1.  "We'll meet on campus
   at time T or at Louie's at time T+1."  2. SINCE (OR AT) TIME T
   EQUALS MINUS INFINITY: A long time ago; for as long as anyone can
   remember; at the time that some particular frob was first designed.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 TOOL v.i. To work; to study.  See HACK (def #9).
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 TRAP 1. n. A program interrupt, usually used specifically to refer to
   an interrupt caused by some illegal action taking place in the user
   program.  In most cases the system monitor performs some action
   related to the nature of the illegality, then returns control to
   the program.  See UUO.  2. v. To cause a trap.  "These instructions
   trap to the monitor."  Also used transitively to indicate the cause
   of the trap.  "The monitor traps all input/output instructions."
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 TTY (titty) n. Terminal of the teletype variety, characterized by a
   noisy mechanical printer, a very limited character set, and poor
   print quality.  Usage: antiquated (like the TTY's themselves).
   Sometimes used to refer to any terminal at all; sometimes used
   to refer to the particular terminal controlling a job.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 TWEAK v. To change slightly, usually in reference to a value.  Also
   used synonymously with TWIDDLE.  See FROBNICATE and FUDGE FACTOR.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 TWENEX n. The TOPS-20 operating system by DEC.  So named because
   TOPS-10 was a typically crufty DEC operating system for the PDP-10.
   BBN developed their own system, called TENEX (TEN EXecutive), and
   in creating TOPS-20 for the DEC-20 DEC copied TENEX and adapted it
   for the 20.  Usage: DEC people cringe when they hear TOPS-20
   referred to as "Twenex", but the term seems to be catching on
   nevertheless.  Release 3 of TOPS-20 is sufficiently different from
   release 1 that some (not all) hackers have stopped calling it
   TWENEX, though the written abbreviation "20x" is still used.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 TWIDDLE n. 1. tilde (ASCII 176, "~").  Also called "squiggle",
   "sqiggle" (sic--pronounced "skig'gul"), and "twaddle", but twiddle
   is by far the most common term.  2. A small and insignificant
   change to a program.  Usually fixes one bug and generates several
   new ones.  3. v. To change something in a small way.  Bits, for
   example, are often twiddled.  Twiddling a switch or knob implies
   much less sense of purpose than toggling or tweaking it; see
   FROBNICATE.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 UP adj. 1. Working, in order.  "The down escalator is up."  2. BRING
   UP: v. To create a working version and start it.  "They brought up
   a down system."
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 USER n. A programmer who will believe anything you tell him.  One who
   asks questions.  Identified at MIT with "loser" by the spelling
   "luser".  See REAL USER.
   [Note by GLS: I don't agree with RF's definition at all.
   Basically, there are two classes of people who work with a program:
   there are implementors (hackers) and users (losers).  The users are
   looked down on by hackers to a mild degree because they don't
   understand the full ramifications of the system in all its glory.
   (A few users who do are known as real winners.)  It is true that
   users ask questions (of necessity).  Very often they are annoying
   or downright stupid.]
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 UUO (you-you-oh) [short for "Un-Used Operation"] n. A DEC-10 system
   monitor call.  The term "Un-Used Operation" comes from the fact
   that, on DEC-10 systems, monitor calls are implemented as invalid
   or illegal machine instructions, which cause traps to the monitor
   (see TRAP).  The SAIL manual describing the available UUO's has a
   cover picture showing an unidentified underwater object.  See YOYO.
   [Note: DEC sales people have since decided that "Un-Used Operation"
   sounds bad, so UUO now stands for "Unimplemented User Operation".]
   Tenex and Twenex systems use the JSYS machine instruction (q.v.),
   which is halfway between a legal machine instruction and a UUO,
   since KA-10 Tenices implement it as a hardware instruction which
   can be used as an ordinary subroutine call (sort of a "pure JSR").
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 VANILLA adj. Ordinary flavor, standard.  See FLAVOR.  When used of
   food, very often does not mean that the food is flavored with
   vanilla extract!  For example, "vanilla-flavored wonton soup" means
   ordinary wonton soup, as opposed to hot and sour wonton soup.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 VAXEN [from "oxen", perhaps influenced by "vixen"] n. pl. The plural
   of VAX (a DEC machine).
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 VIRGIN adj. Unused, in reference to an instantiation of a program.
   "Let's bring up a virgin system and see if it crashes again."
   Also, by extension, unused buffers and the like within a program.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 VIRTUAL adj. 1. Common alternative to LOGICAL (q.v.), but never used
   with compass directions.  2.  Performing the functions of.  Virtual
   memory acts like real memory but isn't.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 VISIONARY n. One who hacks vision (in an AI context, such as the
   processing of visual images).
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 WALDO [probably taken from the story "Waldo", by Heinlein, which is
   where the term was first used to mean a mechanical adjunct to a
   human limb] Used at Harvard, particularly by Tom Cheatham and
   students, instead of FOOBAR as a meta-syntactic variable and
   general nonsense word.  See FOO, BAR, FOOBAR, QUUX.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 WALL [shortened form of HELLO WALL, apparently from the phrase "up
   against a blank wall"] (WPI) interj. 1. An indication of confusion,
   usually spoken with a quizzical tone.  "Wall??"  2. A request for
   further explication.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 WALLPAPER n. A file containing a listing (e.g., assembly listing) or
   transcript, esp. a file containing a transcript of all or part of a
   login session.  (The idea was that the LPT paper for such listings
   was essentially good only for wallpaper, as evidenced at SAIL where
   it was used as such to cover windows.)  Usage: not often used now,
   esp. since other systems have developed other terms for it (e.g.,
   PHOTO on TWENEX).  The term possibly originated on ITS, where the
   commands to begin and end transcript files are still :WALBEG and
   :WALEND, with default file DSK:WALL PAPER.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 WEDGED [from "head wedged up ass"] adj. To be in a locked state,
   incapable of proceeding without help.  (See GRONK.)  Often refers
   to humans suffering misconceptions.  "The swapper is wedged."
   This term is sometimes used as a synonym for DEADLOCKED (q.v.).
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 WHAT n. The question mark character ("?").  See QUES.  Usage: rare,
   used particularly in conjunction with WOW.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 WIN [from MIT jargon] 1. v. To succeed.  A program wins if no
   unexpected conditions arise.  2. BIG WIN: n. Serendipity.
   Emphatic forms: MOBY WIN, SUPER WIN, HYPER-WIN (often used
   interjectively as a reply).  For some reason SUITABLE WIN is also
   common at MIT, usually in reference to a satisfactory solution to a
   problem.  See LOSE.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 WINNAGE n. The situation when a lossage is corrected, or when
   something is winning.  Quite rare.  Usage: also quite rare.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 WINNER 1. n. An unexpectedly good situation, program, programmer or
   person.  2. REAL WINNER: Often sarcastic, but also used as high
   praise.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 WINNITUDE n. The quality of winning (as opposed to WINNAGE, which is
   the result of winning).  "That's really great!  Boy, what
   winnitude!"
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 WIZARD n. 1. A person who knows how a complex piece of software or
   hardware works; someone who can find and fix his bugs in an
   emergency.  Rarely used at MIT, where HACKER is the preferred term.
   2. A person who is permitted to do things forbidden to ordinary
   people, e.g., a "net wizard" on a TENEX may run programs which
   speak low-level host-imp protocol; an ADVENT wizard at SAIL may
   play Adventure during the day.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 WORMHOLE n. A location in a monitor which contains the address of a
   routine, with the specific intent of making it easy to substitute a
   different routine.  The following quote comes from "Polymorphic
   Systems", vol. 2, p. 54:
 
   "Any type of I/O device can be substituted for the standard device
   by loading a simple driver routine for that device and installing
   its address in one of the monitor's `wormholes.'*
   ----------
   *The term `wormhole' has been used to describe a hypothetical
   astronomical situation where a black hole connects to the `other
   side' of the universe.  When this happens, information can pass
   through the wormhole, in only one direction, much as `assumptions'
   pass down the monitor's wormholes."
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 WOW  See EXCL.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 XGP 1. n. Xerox Graphics Printer.  2. v. To print something on the
   XGP.  "You shouldn't XGP such a large file."
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 XYZZY [from the Adventure game] adj. See PLUGH.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 YOYO n. DEC service engineers' slang for UUO (q.v.).  Usage: rare at
   Stanford and MIT, has been found at random DEC installations.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 YOYO MODE n. State in which the system is said to be when it rapidly
   alternates several times between being up and being down.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 YU-SHIANG WHOLE FISH n. The character gamma (extended SAIL ASCII 11),
   which with a loop in its tail looks like a fish.  Usage: used
   primarily by people on the MIT LISP Machine.  Tends to elicit
   incredulity from people who hear about it second-hand.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
 ZERO v. 1. To set to zero.  Usually said of small pieces of data, such
   as bits or words.  2. To erase; to discard all data from.  Said of
   disks and directories, where "zeroing" need not involve actually
   writing zeroes throughout the area being zeroed.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
One horse laugh is worth 10,000 syllogisms.
			-- H. L. Menken
%%
Note:  the words "he," "him," "his," and "men," when used
in this publication represent both the masculine and feminine
genders, unless otherwise specifically stated.
			-- U.S. Army Field manual for MOS 54E,
			   NBC Specialist, 25-Sep-1981
%%
"Learn Yourself English."
			-- Title of a textbook published in India
%%
  "I am a good boy.
  I am a good man.
  I am a good girl."
 
  "What is this, propaganda?"
			-- Mae West (My Little Chickadee)
%%
  For nothing lovelier can be found
  in woman, than to study household good,
  And good works in her Husband to promote.
			-- Milton
%%
The good Wife is none of our dainty dames, who love to appear in a
variety of suits every day new; as if a good gown, like a stratagem in
War, were to be used but once.  But our good Wife sets up a sail
according to the keel of her husband's estate; and if of high
Parentage, she doth not so remember what she was by birth, that she
forgets what she is by match.
			-- Fuller
%%
  Think you, if Laura had been Petrarch's Wife,
  he would have written Sonnets all his life?
			-- Byron
%%
  ... What thou bid'st
  Unargued I obey; so God ordains:
  God is thy law; thou mine: to know no more
  Is Woman's happiest knowledge, and her Praise.
			-- Milton
%%
Let your Wit rather serve you for a buckler to defend yourself, by a
handsome reply, than the Sword to wound others, though with never so
facetious a Reproach, remembering that a Word cuts deeper than a
sharper weapon, and the Wound it makes is longer curing.
			-- Osborn
%%
Pleasure is to Women what the Sun is to the Flower; if moderately
enjoyed, it beautifies, it refreshes, and it improves; if
immoderately, it withers, etiolates, and destroys.
			-- Colton
%%
There can be no regulation in the Minds nor in the Hearts of Women,
unless their temperament is in unison with it.
			-- La Rochefoucauld
%%
Nothing makes a Woman more esteemed by the opposite sex than Chastity;
whether it be that we always prize those most who are hardest to come
at, or, that nothing besides Chastity, with its collateral attendants,
Truth, Fidelity, and Constancy, gives the man a property in the person
he loves, and consequently endears her to him above all things.
			-- Addison
%%
  A Woman, impudent and mannish grown
  Is not more loath'd than an effeminate Man.
			-- Shakespeare
%%
Musick is almost as dangerous as Gunpowder; and it may be requires
looking after no less than the Press or the Mint. 'Tis possible
a publick Regulation might not be amiss.
			-- Jeremy Collier (1650-1726)
%%
Musical innovation is full of danger to the State, for when modes
of music change, the laws of the State always change with them.
			-- Plato (428-347 B.C.): "The Republic"
%%
As I went under the new telegraph-wire, I heard it vibrating like a
harp high overhead.  It was as the sound of a far-off glorious life,
a supernal life, which came down to us, and vibrated the lattice-work
of this life of ours.
			-- Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)
%%
I am saddest when I sing; so are those that hear me; they are sadder
even than I am.
			-- Artemus Ward (1834-1867)
%%
She was a town-and-country soprano of the kind often used for augmenting
grief at a funeral.
			-- George Ade (1866-1944)
%%
Miss Truman is a unique American phenomenon with a pleasant voice of
little size and fair quality ... Yet Miss Truman cannot sing very
well. She is flat a good deal of the time ..., she communicates almost
nothing of the music she presents.... There are few moments during her
recital when one can relax and feel confident that she will make her
goal, which is the end of the song.
			-- Paul Hume, music critic of the Washington Post.
 
"I have just read your lousy review buried in the back pages.  You
sound like a frustrated old man who never made a success, an
eight-ulcer man on a four-ulcer job, and all four ulcers working.  I
have never met you, but if I do you'll need a new nose and plenty of
beefsteak and perhaps a supporter below.  Westbrook Pegler, a
guttersnipe, is a gentleman compared to you.  You can take that as
more of an insult than as a reflection on your ancestry."
			-- Harry S Truman
%%
Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding
he sings.
			-- Ed Gardner (1905-1963)
%%
  Please do not shoot the pianist.
  He is doing his best.
			-- quoted by Oscar Wilde (1856-1900)
%%
I played over the music of that scoundrel Brahms.  What a giftless
bastard!
			-- Tchaikovsky (1840-1893)
%%
The public doesn't want new music; the main thing it demands of a
composer is that he be dead.
			-- Arthur Honegger (1892-1955)
%%
A wave of vulgar, filthy and suggestive music has unundated the land.
Nothing but ragtime prevails, and the cake-walk with its obscene
posturings, its lewd gestures... Our children, our young men and women,
are continually exposed to its contiguity, to the monotonous attrition
of this vulgarizing music.  It is artistically and morally depressing
and should be suppressed by press and pulpit.
			-- Musical Courier, 1899
%%
A degenerated and demoralizing musical system is given a disgusting
christening as 'swing' and turned loose to gnaw away the moral fiber
of young people.... Jam sessions, jitterbugs and cannibalistic rhythmic
orgies are wooing our youth along the primrose path to Hell!
			-- the Archbishop of Dublique, 1938
%%
Education, noun.  That which discloses to the wise and disguises from
the foolish their lack of understanding.
			-- Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?)
%%
  A Master of Art
  Is not worth a fart.
			-- Andrew Boorde (1490?-1549)
%%
You can't expect a boy to be depraved until he has been to a good school.
			-- Saki (1870-1916)
%%
Education is the process of casting false pearls before real swine.
			-- Irsin Edman (1896-1954)
%%
He who can, does.  He who cannot, teaches.
			-- G. B. Shaw (1856-1950)
%%
History repeats itself; historians repeat each other.
			-- Philip Guedalla (1889-1944)
%%
That arithmetic is the basest of all mental activities is proved by the
fact that it is the only one that can be accomplished by a machine.
			-- Arthur Schopenhaur (1788-1860)
%%
Alas! can we ring the bells backward?  Can we unlearn the arts that
pretend to civilize, and then burn the world?  There is a march of
science; but who shall beat the drums for its retreat?
			-- Charles Lamb (1775-1834)
%%
  For Cambridge people rarely smile
  Being urban, squat, and packed with guile.
			-- Rupert Brooke (1887-1915)
%%
"Whom are you?" said he, for he had been to night school.
			-- George Ade (1866-1944)
%%
Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of
some painful illness.
			-- George Orwell (1903-1950)
%%
The reason why so few good books are written is that so few people
who write know anything.
			-- Walter Bagehot (1826-1877)
%%
Although written many years ago, Lady Chatterley's Lover has just
been reissued by the Grove Press, and this pictorial account of the
day-to-day life of an English gamekeeper is full of considerable
interest to outdoor minded readers, as it contains many passages
on pheasant-raising, the apprehending of poachers, ways to control
vermin, and other chores and duties of the professional gamekeeper.
Unfortunately, one is obliged to wade through many pages of extraneous
material in order to discover and savour those sidelights on the
management of a midland shooting estate, and in this reviewer's
opinion the book cannot take the place of J. R. Miller's "Practical
Gamekeeping."
		-- Ed Zern, "Field and Stream" (Nov. 1959)
%%
Publishing a volume of poetry is like dropping a rose-petal down
the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo.
			-- Don Marquis (1878-1937)
%%
Actresses will happen in the best regulated families.
			-- Oliver Herford (1863-1935)
%%
Comedy is the last refuge of the nonconformist mind.
			-- Gilbert Seldes (b. 1893)
%%
The trouble with nude dancing is that not everything stops when the
music stops.
			-- Sir Robert Helpmann (b. 1909)
%%
Painting, Noun.  The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather
and exposing them to the critic.
			-- Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?)
%%
There are moments when art attains almost to the dignity of manual labour.
			-- Oscar Wilde (1856-1900)
%%
Art isn't something you marry, it's something you rape.
			-- Edgar Degas (1834-1900)
%%
What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art.
			-- Augustus Saint-Gaudens (1848-1907)
%%
Art is either plagiarism or revolution.
			-- Paul Gauguin (1848-1903)
%%
The vitality of a new movement in art or letters can be pretty accurately
gauged by the fury it arouses.
			-- Logan Pearsall Smith (1865-1946)
%%
  There's a wonderful family called Stein,
  There's Gert and there's Epp and there's Ein;
    Gert's poems are bunk,
    Epp's statues are junk,
  And no one can understand Ein.
%%
Lettuce doth extinguish venerious acts.
			-- Andrew Boorde (1490?-1549)
 
It is said that the effect of eating too much lettuce is 'soporific'.
			-- Beatrix Potter (1868-1943)
			  "The Tale of the Flopsy Bunnies."
%%
A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg.
			-- Samuel Butler (1835-1902)
%%
Vegetarianism is harmless enough, though it is apt to fill a man with
wind and self-righteousness.
			-- Sir Robert Hutchinson (1871-1960)
%%
No poems can please nor live long which are written by water-drinkers.
			-- Horace (65-8 B.C.)
%%
Do you think that the grave is too deep?  Well, then, take a drink.
Take one or two or three:  You'll die happier.
			-- Carl Michael Bellman (1740-1795)
%%
Look not upon the wine when it is yellow, when the colour thereof
shineth in the glass.  It goeth in pleasantly: But in the end, it will
bite like a snake, and will spread abroad poison like a basilisk.
			-- Proverbs xxxii 31-32
			   (The Douai Version, 1914)
 
Look not thou upon the wine when it is red, when it giveth his colour
in the cup, when it moveth itself aright.  At the last it biteth like
a serpent, and stingeth like an adder.
			-- Proverbs xxxii 31-32
			   (The Authorized Version, 1604)
%%
Every decision you make is a mistake.
			-- Dahlberg
%%
If there be any among us who would wish to dissolve this Union or to
change its republican form let them stand undisturbed as monuments
to the safety with which error of opinion may be tolerated where reason is
left free to combat it.
			-- Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
%%
You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a
reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating
the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for
independence.
			-- Charles A. Beard
%%
"Chi ha del ferro had del pane"
 
(Who has steel has bread).
			-- Blanqui, quoted by Mussolini
%%
The most certain test by which we judge whether a country is really
free is the amount of security enjoyed by minorities.
			-- Lord Acton (1834-1902)
%%
Increase of freedom in the State may sometimes promote mediocrity, and
give vitality to prejudice; it may even retard useful legislation,
diminish the capacity for war, and restrict the boundaries of
Empire... A generous spirit prefers that his country should be poor
and weak, and of no account, but free, rather than powerful,
prosperous, and enslaved.
			-- Lord Acton (1834-1902)
%%
I cannot accept your canon that we are to judge Pope and King unlike
other men, with a favourable presumption that they did no wrong.  If
there is any presumption it is the other way, against the holders of
power, increasing as the power increases.
			-- Lord Acton (1834-1902)
%%
Historic responsibility has to make up for the want of legal
responsibility. Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts
absolutely.
			-- Lord Acton (1834-1902)
%%
There is no worse heresy than that the office sanctifies the holder
of it. That is the point at which the negation of Catholicism and the
negation of Liberalism meet and keep high festival, and the end learns
to justify the means.
			-- Lord Acton (1834-1902)
%%
Murder may be done by legal means, by plausible and profitable war,
by calumny, as well as by dose or dagger.
			-- Lord Acton (1834-1902)
%%
The danger is not that a particular class is unfit to govern.
Every class is unfit to govern.
			-- Lord Acton (1834-1902)
%%
A State which is incompetent to satisfy different races condemns
itself; a State which does not include them is destitute of the chief
basis of self-government.  The theory of nationality, therefore, is a
retrograde step in history.
			-- Lord Acton (1834-1902)
%%
History is not a web woven with innocent hands.  Among all the causes
which degrade and demoralize men, power is the most constant and the
most active.
			-- Lord Acton (1834-1902)
%%
I long to hear that you have declared an independency.  And in the new
code of laws which I suppose it will be necessary for you to make, I
desire you would remember the ladies, and be more generous and
favorable to them than your ancestors ... If particular care and
attention is not paid to the ladies, we are determined to foment a
rebellion and will not hold ourselves bound by any laws in which we
have no voice or representation.
		-- Abigail (Smith) Adams (1744-1818)
%%
  Then here's to the City of Boston
    the town of the cries and the groans.
  Where the Cabots can't see the
    Kabotschniks,
  And the Lowells won't speak to the
    Cohns.
		-- Franklin Pierce Adams (F.P.A.) (1881-1960)
%%
There are plenty of good five-cent cigars in the country.  The
trouble is they cost a quarter.  What the country really needs
is a good five-cent nickel.
			-- Franklin Pierce Adams (F.P.A.) (1881-1960)
%%
Some day science may have the existence of mankind in its power,
and the human race commit suicide by blowing up the world. (1862)
			-- Henry Brooks Adams (1838-1918)
%%
There is but one element of government, and that is THE PEOPLE.  From
this element spring all governments.  "For a nation to be free, it
is only necessary that she wills it."  For a nation to be slave,
it is only necessary that she wills it.
			-- John Adams (1735-1826)
%%
Abuse of words has been the great instrument of sophistry and
chicanery, of party, faction, and division of society.
			-- John Adams (1735-1826)
%%
In every society where property exists there will ever be a struggle
between rich and poor.  Mixed in one assembly, equal laws can never
be expected; they will either be made by the members to plunder the few
who are rich, or by the influence to fleece the many who are poor.
			-- John Adams (1735-1826)
%%
As the government of the United States of America is not in any
sense founded on the Christian Religion, -- as it has itself no
character of enmity against the law, religion or tranquility of
Musselmen, ....
		-- Article 11, Treaty of Peace and Friendship between
		   The United States and ... Tripoli of Barbary.
%%
It is easier to fight for principles than to live up to them.
			-- Alfred Adler (1870-1937)
%%
Those who voluntarily put power into the hands of a tyrant or an
enemy, must not wonder if it be at last turned against themselves.
			-- Aesop (620-560 B.C.)
%%
The paper burns, but the words fly free.
			-- ben Joseph Akiba (c. 50-132)
			   (Last words, at the stake, when the
			   Torah was also burned.)
%%
Had I been present at the creation of the world, I would have proposed
some improvements.
			-- Alfonso X (Alfonso the Wise) (1226-1284)
%%
The laboring people found the prisons always open to receive them,
but the courts of justice were practically closed to them.
			-- John Peter Altgeld (1847-1902)
%%
An error is the more dangerous in proportion to the degree of
truth which it contains.
			-- Henri Frederic Amiel (1821-1881)
%%
Written laws are like spiders' webs, and will like them only entangle
and hold the poor and weak, while the rich and powerful will easily
break through them.
			-- Anacharsis (c. 600 B.C.)
%%
The modern conquerer cannot "take" any spoils.
			-- Sir Norman Angell (1872-?)
%%
The capitalist can only make a whole people go to war -- want war,
clamor for war as, again and again, we have seen whole peoples doing
-- by capturing the popular will.  The only prophylactic against that
situation is to make the public aware of the way in which it is being
misled.
			-- Sir Norman Angell (1872-?)
%%
Civil liberties are always safe as long as their exercise
deesn't bother anyone.
			-- N.Y. Times editorial, Jan. 3, 1941
%%
[Motion] pictures shall not infer that low forms of sex relations are
the accepted or common thing.
			-- Motion picture code (1930)
%%
[The alcoholic beverage] sloweth age, it strengtheneth youth, it
helpeth digestion, it abandoneth melancholie, it reliseth the heart,
it lighteneth the mind, it quickeneth the spirits, it keepeth and
preserveth the head from whirling, the eyes from dazzling, the tongue
from lisping, the mouth from snaffling, the teeth from chattering,
and the throat from rattling; it keepeth the stomach from wambling,
the heart from swelling, the hands from shivering, the sinews from
shrinking, the veins from crumbling, the bones from aching, and the
marrow from soaking.
			-- Anon. (13th Century)
%%
 The law doth punish man or woman
   That steals the goose from off the common,
 But lets the greater felon loose,
   That steals the common from the goose.
			-- Anon. (1764)
%%
[A liberal is] one who has both feet firmly planted in the air.
%%
Who holds the souls of children, holds the nation.
%%
All mankind is divided into three classes:  those that are
immovable, those that are moveable, and those that move.
			-- Arabic proverb
%%
"Wes Brot ich ess, des Lied ich sing."
 
(Whose bread I eat, his song I sing.)
			-- Middle High German proverb.
%%
Tell the truth and run.
			-- Yugoslav proverb
%%
Money is like muck, not good unless it be spread.
			-- Francis Bacon (1561-1626)
%%
Freedom is the absolute right of all adult men and women to seek
permission for their action only from their own conscience and reason,
and to be determined in their actions only by their own will, and
consequently to be responsible only to themselves, and then to the
society to which they belong, but only insofar as they have made a
free decision to belong to it.
			-- Mikhail A. Bakunin (1814-1876)
%%
The bread that you store up belongs to the hungry; the cloak that lies
in your chest belongs to the naked; and the gold that you have hidden
in the ground belongs to the poor.
			-- St. Basil (330?-379?)
%%
A priest with two suits is a thief.
			-- Lenny Bruce
%%
A government needs one hundred soldiers for every guerilla it faces.
			-- Fulgencio Batista (1901-?)
%%
Neither the Declaration of Independence nor the Articles of
Confederation nor any of the first state constitutions had mentioned
the word "republic." At the time, it was like a red flag to
conservatives everywhere.
			-- Charles Austin (1874-1948)
			   and Mary R. Beard (1876-1958)
%%
Be commonplace and creeping, and you will be a success.
			-- Pierre de Beaumarchais (1732-1799)
%%
It is better to prevent crimes than to punish them.
			-- Cesare Bonesana di Beccaria (1738?-1794)
%%
Beethoven can write music, thank God -- but he can do nothing
else on earth.
			-- Ludwig van Beethoven (1770-1827)
%%
When Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley's hero, Frankenstein, endowed his
synthetic robot with a human heart, the monster which before had been
a useful mechanical servant suddenly became an uncontrollable force.
Our ancestors feared that corporations had no conscience.  We are
treated to the colder, more modern fear that, perhaps they do.
			-- A. A. Berle, Jr. (1895-?)
%%
Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete successfully in
business.  Cheat.
			-- Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)
%%
Politics is the conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
			-- Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)
%%
A saint is a dead sinner, revised and edited.
			-- Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)
%%
I think that I think; therefore, I think I am. (Cogito cogito, ergo
cogito ergo sum.)
			-- Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)
%%
"Die Politik is keine exakte Wissenschaft."
 
(Politics are not an exact science.)
			-- Otto von Bismark (1815-1898)
%%
Politics is the doctrine of the possible, the attainable.
			-- Otto von Bismark (1815-1898)
%%
The interest of the people [lies] in being able to join organizations,
advocate causes, and make political "mistakes" without being subjected
to government penalties.
		-- Justice Hugo Black (1886-?)
%%
One Law for the Lion and Ox is oppression.
			-- William Blake (1757-1827)
%%
Prisons are built with stones of Law, Brothels with bricks of Religion.
			-- William Blake (1757-1827)
%%
As the catterpiller chooses the fairest leaves to lay her eggs on,
so the priest lays his curse on the fairest joys.
			-- William Blake (1757-1827)
%%
 A truth that's told with bad intent
 Beats all the Lies you can invent.
			-- William Blake (1757-1827)
%%
To generalize is to be an idiot.
			-- William Blake (1757-1827)
%%
You who are schizophrenic:  do you sleep together?
%%
There are trivial truths and the great truth.  The opposite of a trivial
truth is plainly false.  The opposite of a great truth is also true.
			-- Niels Bohr (1885-?)
%%
P.D.Q. Bach's life proves, if proof be needed, the importance of a
sound musical education.
			-- Prof. Peter Schickele (?)
%%
History records the names of royal bastards, but cannot tell us the
origin of wheat.
			-- Jean Henri Fabre (1823-1915)
%%
Accurate reckoning -- the entrance into the knowledge of all existing
things and all obscure secrets.
			-- Ahmes the Scribe (17th cent. B.C.)
%%
Since the star [Sirius] advances one day every four years, and in
order that the holidays celebrated in the summer shall not fall into
winter, as has been and will be the case if the year continues to have
360 and 5 additional days, it is hereby decreed that henceforth every
four years there shall be celebrated the holidays of the Gods of
Euergetes after the 5 additional days and before the new year, so that
everyone might know that the former shortcomings in reckoning the
seasons of the year have henceforth been truly corrected by King
Euergetes.
			-- Ptolemy III Euergetes (238 B.C.)
%%
"Ubi non accusator, ibi non judex."
 
(Where there are no police, there is no speed limit.)
			-- Roman Law, trans. Petr Beckmann (1971)
%%
"Ceterum censeo clitorem Vostris Sanctissimae Majestatis ante
coitum excitandam esse."
			-- Advice given to Empress Maria Theresa
			   by her personal physician.
%%
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one
persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.  Therefore all
progress depends on the unreasonable.
			-- G. B. Shaw (1856-1950)
%%
Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants.
			-- Omar N. Bradley (1893-?)
%%
Crime is contagious.  If the government becomes a law-breaker,
it breeds contempt for law.
			-- Louis D. Brandeis (1856-1941)
%%
No man can be a patriot on an empty stomach.
			-- W. C. Brann (1855-1898)
%%
"Delete any [movie] footage which includes the idea that war is
not altogether glamorous and noble."
			-- Joseph I. Breen (1890-?), film executive
%%
A liberal is a man who leaves a room when the fight begins.
			-- Heywood Broun (1888-1939)
%%
It is proof of a base and low mind for one to wish to think with the
masses or majority, merely because the majority is the majority.
Truth does not change because it is, or is not, believed by a majority
of the people.
			-- Giordano Bruno (1548?-1600)
%%
Weep not that the world changes -- did it keep a stable, changeless
state, it were cause indeed to weep.
			-- William Cullen Bryant (1794-1878)
%%
The greatest torture in the world for most people is to think.
			-- Luther Burbank (1849-1926)
%%
A blow with a word strikes deeper than a blow with a sword.
			-- Richard Burton (1577-1640)
%%
When the end is lawful, the means are also lawful.
			-- Hermann Busenbaum (1600-1668)
%%
The wicked have a solid interest that the good never seem to possess.
the good are grand for one great rally.  Then they go home and work at
their business.  The cohesive power of public plunder remains on the job.
			-- Nicolas Murray Butler (1862-1947)
%%
An honest God's the noblest work of man.
			-- Samuel Butler (1835-1902)
%%
I don't mind lying, but I hate inaccuracy.
			-- Samuel Butler (1835-1902)
%%
Cursed is he that does not know when to shut his mind.  An open mind
is all very well in its way, but it ought not to be so open that there
is no keeping anything in or out of it.  It should be capable of shutting
its doors sometimes, or may be found a little draughty.
			-- Samuel Butler (1835-1902)
%%
All of the animals excepting man know that the principal business
of life is to enjoy it.
			-- Samuel Butler (1835-1902)
%%
The public buys its opinions as it buys its meat, or takes in its
milk, on the principle that it is cheaper to do this than to keep a
cow.  So it is, but the milk is more likely to be watered.
			-- Samuel Butler (1835-1902)
%%
All progress is based upon the universal innate desire on the part
of every organism to live beyond its income.
			-- Samuel Butler (1835-1902)
%%
Men willingly believe what they wish.
			-- Gaius Julius Caesar (100-44 B.C.)
%%
To plunder, to slaughter, to steal, these things they misname empire;
and where they make a desert, they call it peace.
			-- Calgacus (c. 84 A.D.)
%%
An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought.
			-- Simon Cameron (1799-1889)
%%
It was previously a question of finding out whether or not life had
to have a meaning to be lived.  It now becomes clear, on the contrary,
that it will be lived all the better if it has no meaning.
			-- Albert Camus (1913-1960)
%%
Every revolutionary ends by becoming either an oppressor or a heretic.
			-- Albert Camus (1913-1960)
%%
Don't get the idea that I'm one of these goddam radicals.  Don't
get the idea that I'm knocking the American system.
			-- Al Capone (1899-1947)
%%
My rackets are run on strictly American lines and they're going
to stay that way.
			-- Al Capone (1899-1947)
%%
The American system of ours, call it Americanism, call it Capitalism,
call it what you like, gives each and every one of us a great opportunity
if we only seize it with both hands and make the most of it.
			-- Al Capone (1899-1947)
%%
Every new opinion, at its starting, is precisely in a minority of one.
			-- Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881)
%%
That there should one Man die ignorant who had capacity for Knowledge,
this I call tragedy... The miserable fraction of Science which our United
Mankind, in a wide universe of Nescience, has acquired, why is not this,
with all diligence, imparted to all?
			-- Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881)
%%
Men seldom, or rather never for a length of time and deliberately, rebels
against anything that does not deserve rebelling against.
			-- Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881)
%%
Popular opinion is the greatest lie in the world.
			-- Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881)
%%
I grow daily to honor facts more and more, and theory less and less.
A fact, it seems to me, is a great thing -- a sentence printed, if not
by God, then at least by the Devil.
			-- Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881)
%%
The problem of our age is the proper administration of wealth, so that
the ties of brotherhood may still bind together the rich and poor in
harmonious relationship.
			-- Andrew Carnegie (1835-1919)
%%
The socialist or anarchist who seeks to overturn present conditions is
to be regarded as attacking the foundation upon which civilization
itself rests... One who studies this subject will soon be brought face
to face with the conclusion that upon the sacredness of property
civilization itself depends -- the right of the laborer to his hundred
dollars in the saving bank, and equally the legal right of the
millionaire to his millions.
			-- Andrew Carnegie (1835-1919)
%%
The commercial prostitution of love is the last outcome of our whole
social system, and its most clear condemnation.  It flaunts in our
streets, it hides itself in the garment of respectability under the
name of matrimony, ... it is fed by the oppression and the ignorance
of women, by their poverty and denied means of livelihood, and by the
hypocritical puritianism which forbids them by millions not only to
gratify but even to speak of their natural desires; and it is
encouraged by the callousness of an age which has accustomed men to
buy and sell for money every most precious thing -- even the life-long
labor of their brothers, therefore why not also the very bodies of
their sisters?
			-- Edward Carpenter (1844-1929)
%%
Wars frequently begin ten years before the first shot is fired.
			-- K. K. V. Casey (1877-?)
%%
Poverty is the mother of crime.
			-- Magnus Aurelius Cassiodorus (490-575)
%%
I have discovered the art of deceiving diplomats.
I speak the truth, and they never believe me.
			-- Camillo di Cavour (1810-1861)
%%
You can do anything with bayonets except sit on them.
			-- Camillo di Cavour (1810-1861)
%%
There are only two families in the world, the Haves and the Have-nots.
			-- de Cervantes (1547-1616)
%%
The real value of freedom is not to the minority that wants to talk,
but to the majority, that does not want to listen.
			-- Zechariah Chaffe, Jr. (1885-1957)
%%
What is constitutional may still be unwise.
			-- Zechariah Chaffe, Jr. (1885-1957)
%%
You make men love their government and their country by giving them
the kind of government and the kind of country that inspire respect and
love:  a country that is free and unafraid, that lets the discontented
talk in order to learn the causes of their discontent and end those causes.
			-- Zechariah Chaffe, Jr. (1885-1957)
%%
It is advocacy of revolution by force and violence to write:  "I hold
a little rebellion now and then is a good thing, and as necessary in
the political world as storms in the physical."  Out go the works of
Thomas Jefferson.
 
It is advocacy of change of government by assassination to say, "The
right of nation to kill a tyrant in cases of necessity can no more be
doubted than to hang a robber, or kill a flea."  Jefferson is followed
by his old antagonist, John Adams, the author of the Sedition Law of 1798.
			-- Zechariah Chaffe, Jr. (1885-1957)
%%
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should
therefore be hushed.  A sentiment more unworthy of a free country
could hardly be propagated.  If the doctrine be admitted, rulers have
only to declare war and they are screened at once from scrutiny...  In
war, then, as in peace, assert the freedom of speech and of the press.
Cling to this as the bulwark of all our rights and privileges.
			-- William Ellery Channing (1780-1842)
%%
  Mourn not the dead...
  But rather mourn the apathetic throng --
  The cowed and meek
  Who see the world's great anguish and its wrong,
  And dare not speak.
			-- Ralph Cahplin (1887-1961)
%%
Natural resources and inanimate energy ... are increasingly regarded as
affected with a public interest... Certainly they were left by God or
geology to mankind and not to the Standard Oil Company of California.
If this is not sound moral doctrine, I do not know what is.
			-- Stuart Chase (1888-?)
%%
If ever the multitude deviate into the right,
it is always for the wrong reason.
			-- Fourth Earl of Chesterfield (1694-1773)
%%
Politicians neither love nor hate.
Interest, not sentiment, directs them.
			-- Fourth Earl of Chesterfield (1694-1773)
%%
We do not need a censorship of the press.
We have a censorship of the press.
			-- G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936)
%%
The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting.
It has been found difficult, and left untried.
			-- G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936)
%%
There is nothing the matter with Americans except their ideals.
The real American is all right; it is the ideal American who
is all wrong.
			-- G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936)
%%
"My country, right or wrong," is a thing that no patriot would
think of saying except in a desperate case.  It is like saying,
"My mother, drunk or sober."
			-- G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936)
%%
All diplomacy is a continuation of war by other means.
			-- Chou En-lai (1898-?)
%%
Morals today are corrupted by our worship of riches.
			-- Marcus Tullius Cicero (106-43 B.C.)
%%
There is no fortress so strong that money cannot take it.
			-- Marcus Tullius Cicero (106-43 B.C.)
%%
I would rather be wrong with Plato than right with such men as these.
			-- Marcus Tullius Cicero (106-43 B.C.)
%%
"Vivere est cogitare."
 
(To think is to live.)
			-- Marcus Tullius Cicero (106-43 B.C.)
%%
[Freedom is] the power to live as you will.  Who then lives as he wills?
			-- Marcus Tullius Cicero (106-43 B.C.)
%%
We must further expressly and exactly establish the point of view,
no less necessary in practice, from which war is regarded as nothing
but the continuation of state policy with other means.
			-- Karl von Clausewitz (1780-1831)
%%
War is much too serious to be left to the generals.
			-- Georges Clemenceau (1841-1929)
%%
America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone
directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval
of civilization.
			-- Georges Clemenceau (1841-1929)
%%
He mocks the people who proposes that the Government shall protect
the rich and they in turn will care for the laboring poor.
			-- Grover Cleveland (1837-1908)
%%
The wage earner relies upon the ventures of confident and contented
capital. This failing him, his condition is without alleviation, for
he can neither prey on the misfortune of others nor hoard his labor.
			-- Grover Cleveland (1837-1908)
%%
Make no laws whatever concerning speech and, speech will be free; so
soon as you make a declaration on paper that speech shall be free, you
will have a hundred lawyers proving that "freedom does not mean abuse,
nor liberty license;" and they will define and define freedom out of
existence.
			-- Voltarine de Cleyre (1866-1912)
%%
... so long as the people do not care to exercise their freedom,
those who wish to tyrranize will do so; for tyrants are active
and ardent, and will devote themselves in the name of any number
of gods, religious and otherwise, to put shackles upon sleeping men.
			-- Voltarine de Cleyre (1866-1912)
%%
Tsze-kung asked, saying, "Is there one word which may serve as a rule
of practice for all one's life?"
 
The Master said, "Is not Reciprocity such a word?  What you do not
want done to yourself, do not do to others."
			-- Confucius (551-479 B.C.)
%%
In a country well governed poverty is something to be ashamed of.
In a country badly governed wealth is something to be ashamed of.
			-- Confucius (551-479 B.C.)
%%
The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man
understands what will sell.
			-- Confucius (551-479 B.C.)
%%
When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results.
			-- Calvin Coolidge (1872-1933)
%%
Civilization and profits go hand in hand.
			-- Calvin Coolidge (1872-1933)
%%
I think the American public wants a solemn ass as a President.
And I think I'll go along with them.
			-- Calvin Coolidge (1872-1933)
%%
There is fast forming in this country an aristocracy of wealth, the
worst form of aristocracy that can curse the prosperity of a nation.
			-- Peter Cooper (1791-1883)
%%
Concerning players, we have thought it fit to excommunicate them
so long as they continue to act.
			-- First Council of Arles (314)
%%
  (While you and i have lips and voices which
  are for kissing and to sing with
  who cares if some oneeyed son of a bitch
  invents an instrument to measure Spring with?
			-- e. e. cummings (1894-1963)
%%
For what is liberty but the unhampered translation of will into act.
			-- Dante Alighieri (1265-1321)
%%
The employer puts his money into ... business and the workman his life.
The one has as much right as the other to regulate that business.
			-- Clarence S. Darrow (1857-1938)
%%
Man is descended from a hairy, tailed quadruped, probably aboreal in
its habits...  For my part I would as soon be descended from [a]
baboon ... as from a savage who delights to torture his enemies ...
treats his wives like slaves ... and is haunted by the grossest
suspicions.
			-- Charles Darwin (1809-1882)
%%
I ought, or I ought not, constitute the whole of morality.
			-- Charles Darwin (1809-1882)
%%
When great changes occur in history, when great principles are
involved as a rule the majority are wrong.  The minority are right.
			-- Eugene V. Debs (1855-1926)
%%
The master class has always brought a war and the subject class has
always fought the battle.  The master class has had all to gain and
nothing to lose, and the subject class has had all to lose and nothing
to gain.
			-- Eugene V. Debs (1855-1926)
%%
How can one conceive of a one-party system in a country that has
over 200 varieties of cheese.
			-- Charles de Gaulle (1890-?)
%%
Every country has the government it merits.
			-- Joseph de Maistre (1753-1821)
%%
[It would be safer] never to participate in anything in
the future without consulting the American Legion or your
local Chamber of Commerce.
			-- Martin Dies (1900-?)
%%
Fascism in America will attempt to advance under the banner of Americanism
and anti-Fascism.
			-- Georgi Dimitrov (1882-1949)
%%
Conform and be dull.
			-- J. Frank Dobie (1888-?)
%%
No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe ... every man is a peece of the
Continent, a part of the maine; if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea,
Europe is the lesse, as well as if a Promontorie were, as well as a
Mannor of thy friends or of thine own were; any man's death diminishes
me, because I am involved in Mankinde; And therefore never send to
know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee.
			-- John Donne (1573?-1631)
%%
Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most.
			-- Fyodor Dostoyevski (1821-1881)
%%
What is all wisdom save a collection of platitudes?
			-- Norman Douglas (1868-1952)
%%
You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements.
			-- Norman Douglas (1868-1952)
%%
The right to revolt has sources deep in our history.
			-- Justice William O. Douglas (1898-1980)
%%
The worst provincialism of which America can be guilty is the
provincialism of prejudice, racial prejudice, prejudice against
new and challenging ideas.
			-- Justice William O. Douglas (1898-1980)
%%
Restriction of free thought and free speech is the most dangerous of
all subversions.  It is the one un-American act that could most easily
defeat us.
			-- Justice William O. Douglas (1898-1980)
%%
There are revolutions that are sweeping the world and we in America
have been in a position of trying to stop them.  With all the wealth
of America, with all of the military strength of America, those
revolutions are revolutions against a form of political and economic
organization in the countries of Asia and the Middle East that are
oppressive.  They are revolutions against feudalism. [1952]
			-- Justice William O. Douglas (1898-1980)
%%
Government should be concerned with anti-social conduct,
not with utterances.
			-- Justice William O. Douglas (1898-1980)
%%
Slaves are generally expected to sing as well as to work.... I did
not, when a slave, understand the deep meanings of those rude, and
apparently incoherent songs.  I was myself within the circle, so that
I neither saw nor heard as those without might see and hear.  They
told a tale which was then altogether beyond my feeble comprehension:
they were tones, loud, long and deep, breathing the prayer and
complaint of souls boiling over with the bitterest anguish.  Every
tone was a testimony against slavery, and a prayer to God for
deliverance from chains.
			-- Frederick Douglass (1817?-1895)
%%
Power concedes nothing without a demand.  It never did, and it never
will. Find out just what people will submit to, and you have found out
the exact amount of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon
them; and these will continue till they have resisted with either
words or blows, or with both.  The limits of tyrants are prescribed by
the endurance of those whom they surpress.
			-- Frederick Douglass (1817?-1895)
%%
He who will not reason is a bigot;
he who cannot is a fool;
and he who dares not, is a slave.
			-- William Drummond (1585-1640)
%%
  Damned Neuters, in their Middle way of Steering,
  Are neither Fish, nor Flesh, nor good Red Herring.
			-- John Dryden (1631-1700)
%%
Never was a patriot yet, but was a fool.
			-- John Dryden (1631-1700)
%%
My father was a creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey;
my family, it seems, begins where yours left off.
			-- Alexandre Dumas, pere (1802-1870)
%%
Don't ask f'r rights.  Take thim.  An' don't let anny wan give thim to
ye.  A right that is handed to ye f'r nawthin' has somethin' th' matter
with it. [On Woman Suffrage.]
			-- Finley Peter Dunne ("Mr. Dooley") (1867-1936)
%%
Don't put no constrictions on da people.  Leave 'em ta hell alone.
			-- Jimmie Durante (1893-1980)
%%
A liberal mind is a mind that is able to imagine itself believing anything.
			-- Max Eastman (1883-?)
%%
There is no expedient to which a man will not go to avoid
the real labor of thinking.
			-- Thomas Alva Edison (1847-1931)
%%
... For many things which go under my name are badly translated
from the German or are invented by other people.
			-- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
%%
The craving for power which characterizes the governing class in every
nation is hostile to any limitation of the national sovereignty.
			-- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
%%
Why does this magnificent applied science, which saves work and makes
life easier, bring us so little happiness?  The simple answer runs:
Because we have not yet learned to make sensible use of it.
			-- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
%%
No wealth in the world can help humanity forward, even in the hands of the
most devoted worker in this cause ... Can anyone imagine Moses, Jesus,
or Gandhi armed with the money-bags of Carnegie?
			-- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
%%
The greater the number of laws, the greater the number of offenses
against them.
			-- Havelock Ellis (1859-1939)
%%
It is only the great men who are truly obscene.  If they had not
dared to be obscene, they could never have dared to be great.
			-- Havelock Ellis (1859-1939)
%%
We have among us a class of mammon worshippers, whose one test of
conservatism, or radicalism, is the attitude one takes with respect
to accumulated wealth.  Whatever tends to preserve the wealth of the
wealthy is called conservatism, and whatever favors anything else,
no matter what they call socialism.
			-- Richard T. Ely (1854-1943)
%%
The god of the cannibals will be a cannibal,
of the crusaders a crusader,
and of the merchants a merchant.
			-- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
%%
A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds,
adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.
			-- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
%%
To be great is to be misunderstood.
			-- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
%%
  Things are in the saddle,
  And ride mankind.
			-- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
%%
A good prince will tax as lightly as possible those commodities
which are used by the poorest members of society; e.g., grain,
bread, beer, wine, clothing, and all other staples without which
human life could not exist.
			-- Desiderius Erasmus (1465-1536)
%%
The stamping out of the artist is one of the blind goals of every
civilization.  When a civilization becomes so standardized that the
individual can no longer make an imprint on it, then that civilization
is dying.  The "mass mind" has taken over and another set of national
glories is heading for history's scrap heap.
			-- Elie Faure (1875-1937)
%%
The victor belongs to the spoils.
			-- F. Scott Fitzgerald (1896-1940)
%%
A conquerer is always a lover of peace.
			-- Karl Von Clausewitz (1780-1831)
 
[from "On war"; copied by Lenin in his notebook, with notation,
"Ah, Ah, witty".]
%%
Religion has done love a great service by making it a sin.
			-- Anatole France (1844-1924)
%%
To die for an idea is to place a pretty high price upon conjectures.
			-- Anatole France (1844-1924)
%%
There is a certain impertinence in allowing oneself to be burned
for an opinion.
			-- Anatole France (1844-1924)
%%
On croit mourir pour la patrie, on meurt pour des industriels.
 
("You believe you're dying for the country -- you die for
some industrialists.")
			-- Anatole France (1844-1924)
 
%%
You will generally find that everything is defiled with usurious contracts;
that those very persons have got together the greater part of their money
by sheer rapine, who nevertheless assert themselves so confidently to be
pure from all contagion of unjust gain.
			-- St. Francis Xavier (1506-1552)
%%
We have not tried to suppress true, legitimate liberty;
on the contrary, we have tried to preserve it.
 
We are for liberty, but liberty with order, the kind of
liberty which will not threaten the basic principles of our
nation, nor threaten its faith and unity.
			-- Francisco Franco (1892-?)
%%
Our Constitution is in actual operation; everything appears to promise
that it will last; but nothing in this world is certain but death and taxes.
			-- Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
%%
Neurosis seems to be a human privilege.
			-- Sigmund Freud (1856-1939)
%%
The mind is an iceberg -- it floats with only one-seventh of its bulk
over water.
			-- Sigmund Freud (1856-1939)
%%
The goal of all life is death.
			-- Sigmund Freud (1856-1939)
%%
Despite my 30 years of research into the feminine soul, I have not yet
been able to answer ... the great question that has never been answered:
What does a woman want?
			-- Sigmund Freud (1856-1939)
%%
The history of the world which is still taught to our children
is essentially a series of race murders.
			-- Sigmund Freud (1856-1939)
%%
The very emphasis of the commandment:  Thou shalt not kill,
makes it certain that we are descended from an endlessly long
chain of generations of murderers, whose love of murder was
in their blood as it is perhaps also in ours.
			-- Sigmund Freud (1856-1939)
%%
Love cannot be much younger than the lust for murder.
			-- Sigmund Freud (1856-1939)
%%
He [Theodore Roosevelt] got down on his knees before us.
We bought the s.o.b. but he didn't stay bought.
			-- Henry Clay Frick (1849-1919)
%%
The danger of the past was that men became slaves.
The danger of the future is that men may become robots.
True enough, robots do not rebel.  But given man's nature,
robots cannot live and remain sane.
			-- Erich Fromm (1900-?)
%%
Wild animals never kill for sport.  Man is the only one to whom the
torture and death of his fellow creatures is amusing in itself.
			-- James A. Froude (1818-1894)
%%
The doctrine that the earth is neither the center of the universe nor
immovable, but moves even with a daily rotation, is absurd, and both
philosophically and theologically false, and at the least an error
of faith.
			-- Roman Congregation decision against Galileo
 
To command the professors of astronomy to confute their own observations is
to enjoin an impossibility, for it is to command them not to see what they
do see, and not to understand what they do understand, and to find what they
do not discover.
			-- Galileo Galilei (1564-1642)
%%
There is just one rule for politicians all over the world:  Don't say
in Power what you said in Opposition; if you do, you only have to carry
out what the other fellows have found impossible.
			-- John Galsworthy (1867-1933)
%%
Where there is fear, there is no religion.
			-- Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi (1869-1948)
%%
Art is either a plagiarist or a revolutionist.
			-- Paul Gauguin (1848-1903)
%%
As far as I can see, the greater amount of education which a part of
the working class has employed for some years past, is an evil.  It
is dangerous because it makes them independent.
			-- J. Geddes (1865) [British glassworks owner]
%%
I desire what is good; therefore, every one who does not
agree with me is a traitor.
			-- George III (1738-1820)
%%
How many men are there who fairly earn a million dollars?
			-- Henry George (1839-1897)
%%
The various modes of worship which prevailed in the Roman world were all
considered by the people as equally true; by the philosopher as equally
false; and by the magistrate as equally useful.
			-- Edward Gibbon (1734-1794)
%%
Man is nature's sole mistake.
			-- W. S. Gilbert (1836-1911)
%%
If the day should ever come when we [the Nazis] must go,
if some day we are compelled to leave the scene of history,
we will slam the door so hard that the universe will shake
and mankind will stand back in stupefaction.
			-- Joseph Paul Goebbels (1897-1945)
%%
It is the absolute right of the State to supervise the formation
of public opinion.
			-- Joseph Paul Goebbels (1897-1945)
%%
Intellectual activity is a danger to the building of character.
			-- Joseph Paul Goebbels (1897-1945)
%%
One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song,
read a good poem, see a fine picture, and, if it were
possible, to speak a few reasonable words.
			-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832)
%%
National hatred is something peculiar.  You will always find it strongest
and most violent where there is the lowest degree of culture.
			-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832)
%%
None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely
believe they are free.
			-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832)
%%
Show me the country in which there are no strikes and I'll show that
country in which there is no liberty.
			-- Samuel Gompers (1850-1924)
%%
The function of the intellectual has always been confined, in the main,
to embellishing the bored existence of the bourgeoisie, to consoling
the rich in the trivial troubles of their life.  The intelligentsia
was the nurse of the capitalist class.  It was kept busy embroidering
white stitches on the philosophical and ecclesiastical vestments of the
bourgeoisie -- that old and filthy fabric, besmeared so thickly with the
blood of the toiling masses.
			-- Maxim Gorky (1868-1936)
%%
From the polluted fountain of indifferentism flows that absurd and
erroneous doctrine or rather raving which claims and defends liberty
of conscience for everyone.  From this comes, in a word, the worst
plague of all, namely, unrestrained liberty of opinion and freedom
of speech.
			-- Gregory XVI (1765-1846)
%%
As long as I am mayor of this city [Jersey City, New Jersey],
the great industries are secure.  We hear about constitutional
rights, free speech and the free press.  Every time I hear these
words I say to myself, "That man is a Red, that man is a Communist".
You never hear a real American talk like that.
			-- Frank Hague (1896-1956)
%%
The law regards man as man and takes no account of his surroundings or
of of his color when his civil rights as guaranteed by the supreme
law of the land are involved.
			-- Justice John Marshall Harlan (1833-1911)
			   [Sole dissent, Plessy v. Ferguson,
			    163 U.S. 537 (1896)]
%%
  Treason doth never prosper: what's the reason?
  Why, if it prosper, none dare call it treason.
			-- James Harrington (1611-1677)
%%
Society can overlook murder, adultery or swindling;
it can never forgive the preaching of a new gospel.
			-- Frederic Harrison (1831-1923)
%%
I believe and I say it is true Democratic feeling, that
all the measures of the Government are directed to the
purpose of making the rich richer and the poor poorer.
			-- William Henry Harrison (1773-1841)
%%
Motivation researchers are those harlot social scientists who,
in impressive analytic and/or sociological jargon, tell their
clients what their clients want to hear, namely that appeals
to human irrationality are likely to be far more profitable
than appeals to rationality.
			-- S. I. Hayakawa (b. 1906)
%%
The only vice that cannot be forgiven is hypocrisy.
The repentance of a hypocrite is itself hypocrisy.
			-- William Hazlitt (1778-1830)
%%
Indifferent pictures, like dull people, must absolutely be moral.
			-- William Hazlitt (1778-1830)
%%
The majority, compose them how you will,
are a herd, and not a nice one.
			-- William Hazlitt (1778-1830)
%%
There is no more mean, stupid, dastardly, pitiful, selfish,
spiteful, envious, ungrateful animal than the Public.
It is the greatest of cowards, for it is afraid of itself.
			-- William Hazlitt (1778-1830)
%%
Political truth is libel; religious truth, blasphemy.
			-- William Hazlitt (1778-1830)
%%
Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps; for he is
the only animal that is struck with the difference between
what things are and what they ought to be.
			-- William Hazlitt (1778-1830)
%%
Everywhere and at all times men of commerce have had
neither heart and soul; their cash-box is their God....
They traffic in all things, even human flesh.... Could
it ever be expected that such worthless creatures could
become citizens?  Above all, a freeman must be humane and
disinterested; he must sacrifice everything for his country.
Their country?  Foutre! Businessmen have no such thing.
			-- Jacques Rene Hebert (1755-1794)
%%
The artist isn't made by a haberdasher and a left-wing editorial.
He's made by the explosive in him that bears the label,
"Beware Uniformity."
			-- Ben Hecht (1894-?)
%%
The fundamental evil of the world arose from the fact
that the good Lord has not created money enough.
			-- Heinrich Heine (1797-1856)
%%
Be entirely tolerant or not at all; follow the good
path or the evil one.  To stand at the crossroads
requires more strength than you possess.
			-- Heinrich Heine (1797-1856)
%%
Communism possesses a language which every people can
understand -- its elements are hunger, envy, and death.
			-- Heinrich Heine (1797-1856)
%%
What is moral is what you feel good after and what is
immoral is what you feel bad after.
			-- Ernest Hemingway (1898-1961)
%%
The first panacea for a mismanaged nation is inflation of
the currency; the second is war.  Both bring a temporary
prosperity; both bring a permanent ruin.  But both are the
refuge of political and economic opportunists.
			-- Ernest Hemingway (1898-1961)
%%
There is nothing permanent except change.
			-- Heraclitus (540?-475? B.C.)
%%
Even if you could grow hair on a billiard ball,
you couldn't comb it without a cowlick.
%%
"What does a Scotsman have under his kilt?"
 
"A leg at each corner."
			-- Heard on National Public Radio (1981)
%%
"What does a Scotsman have under his kilt?"
 
"Well, the more Presbyterian you are, the more
likely you are to feel the need for something."
			-- Heard on National Public Radio (1981)
%%
When asked for his own [favourite poem], Dylan [Thomas] slowly said,
"This is the best poem in the English language," and then repeated
gravely and with feeling these lines:
 
  I am
  Thou art
  He, she, it is
  We are
  You are
  They are.
			-- Richard Burton, quoted in Andrew Sinclair's
			   "No Man More Magical"
%%
Question: "Do you think the State or any other institution
should do more for writers?"
 
Answer: The State should do no more for writers than
it should do for any other person who lives in it.
The State should give shelter, food, warmth, etc.,
whether the person works for the State or not.
Choice of work, and the money that comes from it,
should then be free for that man; what work, what
money, is his own bother.
			-- Dylan Thomas (1914-1953)
%%
My advice to young people who wish to earn their
living by writing is: DO.
			-- Dylan Thomas (1914-1953)
%%
  Few understand the works of Cummings,
  And few James Joyce's mental slummings,
  And few young Auden's coded chatter;
  But then it is the few that matter.
  Never be lucid, never state,
  If you would be regarded great,
  The simplest thought or sentiment,
  (For thought, we know, is decadent) ...
			-- Dylan Thomas (1914-1953)
%%
... he was excusing his [Dylan Thomas's] lateness in
replying to a letter, because of "the abominable cold
cramping the fingers, elongating the sweet hours of
bed, and forcing, eventually, the tired half sleeper
to erect a small fire in an insufficient grate; the
skin of laziness, cancelling the positive virtue that
regards sin and virtue lazily, equally and equably;
the lack of ink...; the worries of a life that consists,
for the most part, in building the brain on paper and
pulling down the body, the small and too weak body to
stand either the erection of a proper brain or the
rubbing of saloon counters:  the pressure of words,
the lack of stamps, flu in embryo..."
			-- Andrew Sinclair, "No Man More Magical"
%%
Many writers are bad at being promiscuous with women,
from the certainty of knowing how the affair will end
before it has even begun.
			-- Andrew Sinclair, "No Man More Magical"
%%
It is hard to fight for one's heart's desire.
Whatever it wishes to get, it purchases at the
cost of soul.
			-- Heraclitus (540?-475? B.C.)
%%
The ignorance of the working-class and the superior
intelligence of the privileged class are superstitions --
are superstitions fostered by intellectual mercenaries, by
universities and churches, and by all the centers of privilege.
			-- George D. Herron (1862-1925)
%%
There is no one orthodoxy which is the enemy of democracy.
All of them are.
			-- James Higgins
%%
Politics is the science of who gets what, when, and why.
			-- Sidney Hillman (1887-1946)
%%
Life is short, art long, occasion sudden; to make
experiments dangerous; judgment difficult. Neither
is it sufficient that the physician do his office,
unless the patient and his attendants do their duty,
and that externals are likewise well ordered.
			-- Hippocrates (460?-370? B.C.)
%%
Extreme remedies are very appropriate for extreme diseases.
			-- Hippocrates (460?-370? B.C.)
%%
I will not give to a woman an instrument to procure abortion.
			-- Hippocrates (460?-370? B.C.)
			   (Hippocratic oath.)
%%
The size of the lie is a definite factor in causing
it to be believed, for the vast masses of a nation
are in the depths of their hearts more easily deceived
than they are consciously and intentionally bad.
 
The primitive simplicity of their minds renders them
a more easy prey to a big lie than to a small one, for
they themselves often tell little lies but would be
ashamed to tell big ones.
			-- Adolf Hitler (1889-1945) "Mein Kampf"
%%
Through clever and constant application of propaganda,
people can be made to see paradise as hell, and also
the other way round, to consider the most wretched sort
of life as paradise.
			-- Adolf Hitler (1889-1945) "Mein Kampf"
%%
The German has no idea how much the people must be misled
if the support of the masses is required.
			-- Adolf Hitler (1889-1945) "Mein Kampf"
%%
Success is the sole earthly judge of right and wrong.
			-- Adolf Hitler (1889-1945) "Mein Kampf"
%%
Hate is more lasting than dislike.
			-- Adolf Hitler (1889-1945) "Mein Kampf"
%%
Either the world will be governed according to the ideas
of modern democracy and then the weight of any decision
will result in favor of the numerically stronger races,
or the world will be dominated in accordance with the laws
of the natural order of force, and then it is the peoples
of brutal will who will conquer.
			-- Adolf Hitler (1889-1945) "Mein Kampf"
%%
We stand for the maintenance of private property....
We shall protect free enterprise as the most expedient,
or rather the sole possible economic order.
			-- Adolf Hitler (1889-1945) "Der Fruehrer"
%%
The Value, or <<Worth>> of a man, is as of all other things,
his price; that is to say, so much as would be given for the
use of his power.
 
And as in other things, so in men, not the seller,
but the buyer, determines the price.
			-- Thomas Hobbes (1588-1679)
%%
The tendency of all strong Governments has always been
to suppress liberty, partly in order to ease the processes
of rule, partly from sheer disbelief in innovation.
			-- J. A. Hobson (1858-1940)
%%
Rough work, iconoclasm, but the only way to get at truth.
			-- Oliver Wendell Holmes (Sr.) (1809-1894)
%%
Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle that fits them all.
			-- Oliver Wendell Holmes (Sr.) (1809-1894)
%%
No generalization is wholly true, not even this one.
			-- Oliver Wendell Holmes (Jr.) (1841-1935)
%%
The character of every act depends on the circumstances in which it is
done.  The most stringent protection of free speech would not protect
a man in falsely shouting fire in a theater and causing a panic.
			-- Oliver Wendell Holmes (Jr.) (1841-1935)
%%
We have to choose, and for my part I think it a less evil
that some criminals should escape than that the government
should play an ignoble part.
			-- Oliver Wendell Holmes (Jr.) (1841-1935)
%%
Freedom of contract begins where equality of bargaining power begins.
			-- Oliver Wendell Holmes (Jr.) (1841-1935)
%%
  Man's a kind of missing link.
  Fondly thinking he can think.
			-- Piet Hein
%%
We in America today are nearer to the final triumph over poverty than
ever before in the history of any land.
			-- Herbert Hoover (1874-1964)
%%
Money by right means if you can; if not, by any means.
			-- Horace (c. 65 B.C.)
%%
This will never be a civilized country until we expend more
money for books than we do for chewing gum.
			-- Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915)
%%
An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being
called an idea at all.
			-- Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915)
%%
If you can't answer a man's arguments, all is not lost; you can still
call him vile names.
			-- Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915)
%%
A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to
fight and too fat to run.
			-- Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915)
%%
Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.
			-- Frank McKinney Hubbard (1868-1930)
%%
I never vote; it only encourages them.
%%
I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't
do it in the streets and frighten the horses.
%%
When dictatorship is a fact, revolution becomes a right.
			-- Victor Hugo (1802-1885)
%%
Irrationally held truths may be more harmful than reasoned errors.
			-- Thomas H. Huxley (1825-1895)
%%
A beautiful theory, killed by a nasty, ugly, little fact.
			-- Thomas H. Huxley (1825-1895)
%%
The only beast in the Plaza de Toros is the crowd.
			-- Vicente Blasco Ibanez (1867-1928)
%%
"Mejor morir a pie que vivir en rodillas."
 
(Better to die on one's feet than live on one's knees.)
			-- Dolores Ibarruri (La Pasionaria) (1895-?)
%%
The minority is always in the right.
			-- Henrik Ibsen (1828-1906)
%%
"While I was at home with father, he used to tell me his opinions,
and I held the same opinions.  If I had others, I concealed them,
because he wouldn't have liked it."
			-- Henrik Ibsen (1828-1906)
			   (Nora, in "A Doll's House")
%%
An honest God is the noblest work of man.
			-- Robert G. Ingersoll (1833-1899)
%%
It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong.
Our offense consists in doubting it.
			-- Justice Robert H. Jackson (1892-1954)
%%
[Smoking is] a custom loathsome to the eye, hateful to the nose,
harmful to the brain, dangerous to the lungs, and in the black,
stinking fume thereof, nearest resembling the horrible Stygian
smoke of the pit that is bottomless.
			-- James I (1566-1625)
%%
Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
			-- Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
%%
All riches come from iniquity, and unless one has lost,
another cannot gain.  Hence that common opinion seems to
be very true, "the rich man is unjust, or the heir to an
unjust one."  Opulence is always the result of theft, if not
committed by the actual possessor, than by his predecessor.
			-- St. Jerome (340?-420)
%%
Virginity can be lost by a thought.
			-- St. Jerome (340?-420)
%%
I do not, however, assert that the actor is dishonorable
when he follows his profession, although it is undoubtedly
dishonorable to be an actor.
			-- John of Salisbury (called Parvus) (1115?-1180)
%%
Patiotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
			-- Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)
%%
When I hear the word "Culture" I pick up my Browning.
			-- Hanns Johst (1890-?)
%%
When a dog barks at the moon, then it is religion;
but when he barks at strangers, it is patriotism!
			-- David Starr Jordan (1851-1931)
%%
  "Beauty is truth, truth beauty," -- that is all
  Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.
			-- John Keats (1795-1821)
%%
Life is short; live it up.
			-- Nikita S. Krushchev (1894-?)
%%
The land of the free!  This is the land of the free!
Why, if I say anything that displeases them, the free
mob will lynch me, and that's my freedom.  Free?  Why
I have never been in any country where the individual
has such an abject fear of his fellow countrymen.
Because, as I say, they are free to lynch him the moment
he shows he is not one of them.
			-- D. H. Lawrence (1885-1930)
%%
If a woman hasn't got a tiny streak of a harlot in her,
she's a dry stick as a rule.
			-- D. H. Lawrence (1885-1930)
%%
This is the great pornographical class -- the really common
men-in-the-street and women-in-the-street.... They insist that
a film-heroine shall be a neuter, a sexless thing of washed-out
purity.  They insist that real sex-feeling shall only be shown
by the villain or villainess ... they have the grey disease of
sex-hatred, coupled with the yellow disease of dirt-lust.
			-- D. H. Lawrence (1885-1930)
%%
Between 1950 and 1952, a bored weatherman, stationed north of
Hudson Bay, left a monument that neither government nor time
can eradicate.  Using a bulldozer abandoned by the Air Force,
he spent two years and great effort pushing boulders into a
single word.
 
It can be seen from 10,000 feet, silhouetted against the snow.
Government officials exchanged memos full of circumlocutions
(no Latin equivalent exists) but failed to word an appropriation
bill for the destruction of this cairn, that wouldn't alert the
press and embarrass both Parliament and Party.
 
It stands today, a monument to human spirit.  If life exists on
other planets, this may be the first message received from us.
			-- The Realist, November, 1964.
%%
  +-------------------+
  |                   |
  |   Check one:      |
  |                   |
  |   [ ]  BANG       |
  |                   |
  |   [ ]  whimper    |
  |                   |
  +-------------------+
			-- Bhob Stewart and T. S. Eliot
			   The Realist, November, 1962
%%
I would rather see my four daughters shot before my eyes
than to have them grow up in a Communist United States.
I would rather see those kids blown into Heaven than taught
into hell by the Communists.
			-- Pat Boone, (c.a. 1962)
%%
"In another paper delivered today, Paul W. Kinsie of the
American Social Health Association warned that, if the
moon was to be kept free from venereal disease, prostitution
must be banned there."
			-- The Realist, November, 1962
%%
Satyr is a Sort of Glass, wherein Beholders do generally
discover every Body's Face but their Own; which is the
chief Reason for that Kind Reception it meets with.
			-- Jonathan Swift
%%
We think it's much better to entertain people and get medals
than to kill them and get medals for that.
			-- Paul McCartney (c.a. 1965)
%%
Sincerity is often the measure of your adaptability
to adjust to the opinions of those who can fire you.
			-- John Francis Putnam (1964)
%%
A man may be completely truthful about the number of
times he has had sex, but never about his endurance.
			-- John Francis Putnam (1964)
%%
The first gift of maturity is the ability
to look a child straight in the eye.
			-- John Francis Putnam (1964)
%%
Righteous indignation is bravery in a closet.
			-- John Francis Putnam (1964)
%%
The intensity of anxiety when you tell a lie is nothing
compared to the relief when you find out it is believed.
			-- John Francis Putnam (1964)
%%
Only in America can humanitarianism be suspect to the patriot.
			-- John Francis Putnam (1964)
%%
Those who are bored with your tale of persecution are
only too happy to listen to your plans for revenge.
			-- John Francis Putnam (1964)
%%
Chicago has such staunch Democrats that they rise out
of the grave to vote -- sometimes three or four times.
%%
  If it moves, salute it,
  If it doesn't move, pick it up.
  If you can't pick it up, paint it.
			-- U. S. Army
%%
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth but most
of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
			-- W. S. Churchill
%%