From news.spc.edu!news.new-york.net!newspeer1.nac.net!newsfeed.wirehub.nl!148.122.208.67.MISMATCH!newsfeed1.online.no!newsfeed.online.no!news-feed.ifi.uio.no!news.netfunny.com!funny-request Mon Jun 7 05:45:36 1999 Xref: news.spc.edu rec.humor.funny.reruns:1361 Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny.reruns Subject: The Cold Snap Organization: Memory Alpha * Ithaca New York From: mha@memory.ithaca.ny.us (Mark H. Anbinder) Keywords: topical, chuckle, originally appeared in first quarter, 1996 Approved: rhf-reruns@netfunny.com Path: news.spc.edu!news.new-york.net!newspeer1.nac.net!newsfeed.wirehub.nl!148.122.208.67.MISMATCH!newsfeed1.online.no!newsfeed.online.no!news-feed.ifi.uio.no!news.netfunny.com!funny-request Followup-To: rec.humor.d Message-id: Date: Sun, 6 Jun 1999 19:20:01 PDT [Sent to me by a friend in the Caribbean! No idea where he got it.] HOW COLD IS IT? An annotated thermometer 60 - Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one in their wardrobe) 50 - Miami residents turn on the heat 40 - You can see your breath Californians shiver uncontrollably Minnesotans go swimming 35 - Italian cars don't start 32 - Water freezes 30 - You plan your vacation to Australia Minnesotans put on T-shirts Politicians begin to worry about the homeless British cars don't start Your boogers freeze 25 - Boston water freezes Californians weep pitiably Minnesotans eat ice cream Canadians go swimming 20 - You can hear your breath Politicians begin to talk about the homeless New York City water freezes Miami residents plan vacation further South 15 - French cars don't start You plan a vacation in Mexico Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you 10 - Too cold to ski You need jumper cables to get the car going 5 - You plan your vacation in Houston American cars don't start 0 - Alaskans put on T-shirts Too cold to skate -10 - German cars don't start Eyes freeze shut when you blink -15 - You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects Miami residents cease to exist -20 - Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you Politicians actually do something about the homeless Minnesotans shovel snow off roof Japanese cars don't start -25 - Too cold to think You need jumper cables to get the driver going -30 - You plan a two week hot bath The Mighty Monongahela freezes Swedish cars don't start -40 - Californians disappear Minnesotans button top button Canadians put on sweaters Your car helps you plan your trip South -50 - Congressional hot air freeze Alaskans close the bathroom window -80 - Hell freezes over Polar bears move south -- From the RHF archives as selected by Brad Templeton, Maddi Hausmann and Jim Griffith. This newsgroup posts former jokes from the newsgroup rec.humor.funny. Visit http://www.netfunny.com/rhf to browse the RHF pages and archives on the web. This newsgroup does not accept submissions. See rec.humor.funny for that.