CHUCK NORRIS in ENTER THE WALK THROUGH REGISTRATION LINE



Narrator : There are many lands in this troubled world where men may fear to

           tread... Libya, Chad, El Salvadore, any one of a million or so picket

           lines around. But there is one domain where even the bravest of

           men run away from like little yellow pansies. And yet there is one

           man who's pathological lust for senseless violence defies any

           concept we may have of "bravery." This man dares to walk blindly

           into this most horrifying of domains. For this is ...

           CHUCK NORRIS IN ... ENTER THE WALK-THROUGH REGISTRATION LINE



Mr. Desk (A true tyrant) : This isn't even your sequence, you slime. Back,

         back, to the end of the line! hahahahahahah (maniacal laughter)

Georg (with whip) : Go on you ! hah hah (stupid maniacal laughter)

         (No 1 goes to back to end of line)

Mr. Desk (to No 2) Where's your packet, Scum? (No 2 gives it to him) You

         didn't sign for insurance, vermin (tears up packet). To the

         back of the line !  hahahahahah (same laugh)

        (Chuck Norris has come in to front of line)

Mr. Desk : Let's see your packet... Hey! Wait a minute, you took cuts.

         That's a capital offense! Georg!

Georg (with massive gun) You just bought a one-way ticket to permanent

         probation, pal !

        (Chuck dramatically removes robe and beats all but No 1 up)

No 1: No problem, pal, you can have cuts from me.

        (Chuck hesitates, then beats him up anyway)

Chuck: I'd like to register.

Mr. Desk: OK, fine. Do you have a packet?

Chuck: No.

Mr. Desk: OK, great. We'll just write one up for you. Any ID?

Chuck: No.

Mr. Desk: OK. Not necessary. Silly rule anyway. I don't suppose you

        have any money?

Chuck: No.

Mr. Desk: Check?

Chuck: No.

Mr. Desk: Loan?     (Chuck starts to life desk)

Chuck: No.

Mr. Desk: Fee Waiver? Scholarships?

Chuck: Grrr.

Mr. Desk: (cringing) Right! I'll pay for it. You just qualified for emergency

        disaster funding! Congratulations. (goes to shake hand, then thinks

        better of it)

        (Chuck puts down the table, takes packet, leaves)

Mr. Desk: (waiting for Chuck to fully exit) Right! Next! (takes packet)

        Hmmm, everything seems to be in order. (frustrated look at

        Georg) Throw him to the lions!

        (Georg does so, then all freeze. )

Narrator: Yes, Chuck Norris. A man unwilling to change his environment, but

        always willing to beat it up. And be looking for him soon in

        George Lucas' third ultra-violent Star Wars epic ... Chuck

        Norris in Return of the Ninja!.