From news.spc.edu!news.new-york.net!newshub.northeast.verio.net!news.idt.net!newsfeed.direct.ca!news.netfunny.com!funny-request Sun Nov 22 00:20:47 1998 Xref: news.spc.edu rec.humor.funny:7906 Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny From: davidsen@prodigy.com (Bill Davidsen) Subject: Cat humor Keywords: chuckle, forwarded Approved: funny-request@netfunny.com Path: news.spc.edu!news.new-york.net!newshub.northeast.verio.net!news.idt.net!newsfeed.direct.ca!news.netfunny.com!funny-request Message-id: Date: Sat, 21 Nov 1998 19:30:00 PST "Managing senior programmers is like herding cats." --Dave Platt "Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer." --Bruce Graham "There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast."-Unknown "Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this."-Anonymous "Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow." --Jeff Valdez "In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats." --English proverb "As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat."-Ellen Perry Berkeley "One cat just leads to another."-Ernest Hemingway "Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later." --Mary Bly "Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia." --Joseph Wood Krutch "People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life." --Faith Resnick "There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats."-Anonymous "I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior."-Hippolyte Taine "No heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me."--Unknown "There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats." Albert Schweitzer "The cat has too much spirit to have no heart." --Ernest Menaul "Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God." "Time spent with cats is never wasted."-Colette "Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well." --Missy Dizick "You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats."-Colonial American proverb "Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want."-Joseph Wood Krutch "I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic." "My husband said it was him or the cat ... I miss him sometimes." "Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit." -- Selected by Jim Griffith. MAIL your joke to funny@netfunny.com. Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. The best of old postings from RHF are now also available in the new group rec.humor.funny.reruns. Unless you've been a loyal reader since '87 you may want to subscribe to that too, since RHF does only new material. The archives are also at http://www.netfunny.com/rhf This joke's link: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/98/Nov/catlines.html