.title Bookstore/Paintstore
.fg 20
.c;^&Bookstore/Paintstore\&
.s
.c;Bill Bernat
.c;Michael A. Sterner
.s
.c;November 14, 1982
.nmpg 1
.page
.;
.lm 8.p -8.at
C: Good morning
S: (Pauses) Ah, yes. Good morning Sir. Can I help you?
C: Yes, I'd like to buy some paint.
S: Excuse me.
C: You know, sir. A bit of the old white latex.
S: Uhhh... White latex ...
C: Exterior. Nice, you know.
S: Ah yes. Well, I think you've got the wrong store. This is a 
 bookstore.
C: Oh, yes sir. Sign outside says "Bookstore."
S: Yes, yes it does. And we sell books here. Not paint.
C: Books. I can see that. All over the store, aren't they?
S: Yes, there's rather a lot of them here. I mean the sign itself
 is of course painted but...
C: So how much then?
S: For what?
C: For the paint.
S: Look, I'm sorry. You don't seem to understand. If you'd like to 
 buy a book I can help you out, but if you need paint, you'll have 
 to go down the street to the paint store.
C: The paint store?
S: Yes. You don't buy paint at a book store. I mean you wouldn't go
 to the paint store to try and buy books. Would you?
C: (Laughs) No. Certainly not sir... I buy vitamins there.
S: Vitamins at the paint store?
C: Oh yes sir. Best place in town.
S: Right. Look, did you try going by the library and checking out
 some paint?
C: I did that with my master bedroom. But I haven't returned it yet 
 and I can't check anything else out 'till I pay the fine.
S: You're getting on my nerves now ... that was just a joke!
C: Okay then. Just one can. White latex.
S: I could sell you a book about paint.
C: A book about paint?
S: Yes, we have books about paint.
C: What book might that be?
S: It's called "One Hundred and One Ways to Paint Your House."
C: Oh. That's the Turnsovitch book, isn't it?
S: Uh... Turnsovitch. Yes it is.
C: Is that the First or Second printing? Canadian or American?
S: Canadian I believe. You seem to know a lot about ...
C: They left out an almost invaluable section about exterior
 painting in humid climates in that version.
S: Whatever for?
C: I wouldn't know, sir.
S: Uh... Why don't you try going to the pet store and buying some 
 paint. I believe they're having a white sale.
C: Oh yes. Fine pet store here. Just last week I bought a little 
 puppy.
S: You bought a dog.
C: Yes.
S: At the petsore?
C: Yes. He's the cutest little thing. Would you like to meet him?
 He's in the car.
S: No, no. No thank you. Look. I don't know what to tell you. I
 don't have any paint. I'm afraid you're going to have to leave.
C: You don't have any paint sir? I find that hard to believe.
 Uh ... would it make any difference if I told you that Fred sent
 me?
S: Fred? (Customer does the secret knock) What's that?
C: That's the secret knock, sir.
S: And, uh, this Fred told you to use the secret knock, did he?
C: Fred gave me the secret knock. Yes sir.
S: I'm going to call the police if you don't leave right now.
C: I'm not going to leave sir. 
S: Look. I'm calling them. I'm going to have them come right over and
 take you away, unless you leave immediately (he dials 6 numbers)
C: I'm sure you've got some paint here and my house needs painting.
 (pause) White latex it'll be. (pause) And no water base.
S: All right. Here you go. (sets paint on counter) Paint.
C: And a brush.
S: No brush!
C: And a brush.
S: (Gets a bruch from under or behind some books) That'll be $10.00
C: $10.00. Thank you sir.
S: And ... uh ... remember. Shhh!
C: Shhh. Yes sir. Good day !
S: Good Day.