X-NEWS: spcvxb.spc.edu news.admin.misc: 28034 Xref: spcuna alt.config:57150 alt.current-events.net-abuse:15061 news.admin.misc:28034 Path: spcuna!solaris.cc.vt.edu!news.mathworks.com!europa.eng.gtefsd.com!library.ucla.edu!psgrain!nntp.cs.ubc.ca!unixg.ubc.ca!vanbc.wimsey.com!news.bc.net!newsserver.sfu.ca!sfu.ca!chil From: chil@fraser.sfu.ca (Keith Lim) Newsgroups: alt.config,alt.current-events.net-abuse,news.admin.misc,alt.fan.bruce-becker Subject: Re: Bruce Becker and torfree.net Date: 26 Dec 94 10:09:57 GMT Organization: Simon Fraser University Lines: 213 Message-ID: References: <3dgbpu$kns@ag.oro.net> <3dgcr9$kim@ag.oro.net> NNTP-Posting-Host: chil@fraser.sfu.ca smj@smudge.oro.net (Scott Jennings) writes: >Has anyone else noticed how much this guy sounds like the french >castle guards from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"? Yes. The Usenet Amateur Players present news.admin.misc and the Unholy Head a Pastiche of an Excerpt from Monty Python and the Holy Grail Starring Alan Brown Scott Jennings with David Zeiger and introducing postmaster@torfree.net as a quite extraordinarily rude Administrator EXTERIOR - FREENET SITE - DAY MIX THROUGH one or two shots of the knights on their way again, until they approach a terrific site (a little one would do too). They advance quite close to the site and draw themselves into a line. At a signal from ALAN, two PAGES step forward and give a brief fanfare. A TAUNTER appears. ALAN addresses him. ALAN: Hello. TAUNTER: 'Allo. Whoo is eet? ALAN: I am Alan Brown and these are some of the knights of news.admin.misc. Whose site is this? TAUNTER: This is the site of my master, Toronto Free-Net Inc. ALAN: Please go and tell your master that we have been charged by our Lord, Cancelmoose [TM], with a sacred quest, and if he will give us time and attention this night, he may join us in our quest for the Unholy Head of Bruce Becker. TAUNTER: Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen. Why are you sending all these news articles here? ALAN: What? DAVID: He asks us why we are sending all those news articles there. They are stunned. ALAN: Are you sure you don't know why we're sending you those news articles? TAUNTER: Oh no. They're not very nice. CUT to FREENET SITE INTERIOR. The TAUNTER turns to others with him. TAUNTER: I asked them why they were sending all those news articles here. They all giggle. CUT back to FREENET SITE EXTERIOR. ALAN: Well...to get your attention. You are providing news facilities to a person who is forging hundreds of newsgroup control articles in other peoples' names. TAUNTER: Sorry, nobody around here cares in the slightest about that sort of stupid net politics one way or the other. ALAN: The forgeries have been traced to gts.com. Please disconnect gts. TAUNTER: Of course not. You are net.cop pigs. ALAN: Well, what are you then? TAUNTER: I'm the Uucp/Mail Administrator of the Toronto Free-Net. Why do you think I have this tone of outrageous obnoxiousness, you silly luser. DAVID: What are you doing running an Internet site? TAUNTER: Mind your own business. ALAN: If you will not disconnect gts, we shall storm your site. Murmers of assent TAUNTER: You don't frighten us, luser pig-dog. Forget the useless net.cop routine and get a life. gts is one of the most respected sites in the area; you don't know what you're talking about. I blow my nose on you so-called Brown Alan and your silly news.admin.misc l...users. Season's greetings anyway. TAUNTER sends over a "raspberry-blowing" emoticon. DAVID: What a strange person. ALAN: Now look here, my good man. DAVID: Or woman. ALAN: Or woman. Each forged article will be forwarded to you. If Becker used his own name instead of forging other peoples', nobody would be complaining. Further discussion will be posted to alt.config and news.admin.misc TAUNTER: Go and boil your bottom, you son of a silly person. You are some kind of messed-up pest it seems--alt.config is no place to work out such things, and news.admin.misc has nothing to do with alt. SCOTT: It's not clear here, but it sounds like you are denying that these forgeries are from gts. TAUNTER: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper. If you do not stop pissing in the wind, you will no doubt find some quite nasty surprises. SCOTT: While I can't speak for how "respected" gts is in the area, I can say that I have corresponded at length with many of the people whose network connections are via gts, and they are quite aware of the problem and at a loss for resolving it, since they do not pay for this service. TAUNTER: I fart in your general direction. We have no interest in your stupid one-sided arguments. I will ask the person that minds the mail to arrange to bounce all further email from your domain. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries. SCOTT: I've also corresponded with other news admins in the Toronto area who are quite aware of Mr. Becker's forgeries and did not appear to share your view of gts's "respectability". TAUNTER: We have no part in your strange problems and we will not be harassed by you, perfidious news.admin.misc mousedropping hoarders...how you say: "Begorrah!" SCOTT: While I cannot prove that Mr. Becker has personally authored these forgeries, I can prove that his site did, and in a manner which requires "news" or "root" priviledges on gts machines. You can too, and if you are asserting that we do not know what we are talking about here, then I can only conclude that you are being less than truthful. TAUNTER: I am sorry to have to conclude that you have made a fool of yourself: what kind of person would send email out of the blue suggesting a lack of veracity? How you lusers say: I one more time, mac, I unclog my nose towards you, sons of a window-dresser. SCOTT: Has anyone else noticed how much this guy sounds like the French castle guard from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"? TAUNTER: There is something wrong with your social upbringing it would seem, you brightly-coloured, mealy-tempered, cranberry-smelling, electric donkey-bottom biters. I wave my private parts at your aunties, I don't know what your problem is, and I don't really care--go away and grow up a whole lot. DAVID: Perhaps you've just reached some underling who's watching over things while the real admin is off for Xmas? I find it difficult to believe that these type of messages are coming from a "real" admin. ALAN: Is there someone else up there we could talk to? TAUNTER: No. Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time. ALAN: Now this is your last chance. I've been more than reasonable... CUT back to FREENET SITE INTERIOR. TAUNTER: Fetchez la bombe de poste. LACKEY: Quoi? TAUNTER: Fetchez la bombe de poste! A mailbomb is created from a script. CUT back to FREENET SITE EXTERIOR ALAN: ...Now that is my final offer. If you are not prepared to agree to my demands, I shall be forced to take--Oh Kibo! A mailbomb comes flying over the net and lands in ALAN's site, crashing it completely. ALAN: Right! Knights! Forward! ALAN leads a charge toward the site. [To be continued. Maybe.] -- Keith Lim |\~/|| O ||/_\| SFU doesn't have opinions. Global alert: Lewis "emmanuel" Argic is being sued for liable and needs a green card to make money fast selling Skinny Dip, Melaleuca, and herbal stuff.