From: STUMP_D "Fr.Dave" 6-MAR-1998 21:43:51.89 To: IN%"whelant@mail.ccsu.nsw.gov.au",@sjs,@spc,@operations CC: Subj: FWD: Fwd: treeman : Humor in Uniform From: STUMP_D "Fr.Dave" To: IN%"whelant@mail.ccsu.nsw.gov.au",@sjs,@spc,@operations Cc: STUMP_D Subj: FWD: Fwd: treeman : Humor in Uniform As a former Naval Officer I am sure these alleged phrases from actual Officer Efficiency Reports (performance appraisals) surely must have come from another branch of the armed forces... but they're still humorous. ************************************* "Not the sharpest knife in the drawer." "Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching." "A room temperature IQ." "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together." "A gross ignoramus--144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus." "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on." "A prime candidate for natural de-selection." "Bright as Alaska in December." "One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests." "Donated his body to science before he was done using it." "Fell out of the family tree." "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming." "Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it." "He's so dense, light bends around him." "If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate." "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week." "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change." "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean." "It's hard to believe that he beat out a million other sperm." "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled." "Takes him an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes." "Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby." "Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead." John Alter 5298 Hatcher Road Bascom, FL 32423-9122 850-569-2412 Fax 850-569-5402 treeman@phonl.com --------- End forwarded message ---------- _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] --part0_889191843_boundary--