The DO-IT-YOURSELF Intel 80387 KIT !!!!!!!!

		    (Now with Microwave Instructions)

		    Copyrighted 1989 by Paul Carroll


	Congratulations on purchasing this fine kit from the CARROLL 
	LIMITED COMPANY(1).  This 80387 chip is designed(2) to give years of
	pleasure.  This kit contains the purest silicon from Silicon
	Valley(3) to help you build the fastest and bestest floating
	point processor possible.  Just follow the following easy
	instructions:

	1.  Preheat oven to 1600 degrees Centigrade (that's 3000 degrees
		Fahrenheit for those of you who dropped out of
		chemistry).  Wait 5 minutes.
	2.  Put packet of PURE SILICON in ceramic crucible or, if one
		is not handy, in your wife's favorite sauce pan.
	3.  Place crucible or pan in oven on middle tray.  Bake well
		for 30 minutes or until the PURE SILICON has the
		consistency of hot chocolate.  WARNING:  It is NOT
		hot chocolate and is not intended for internal
		consumption.
	4.  Pour PURE SILICON mixture into patented(4) wafer mold.
		Spread mixture evenly, removing any lumps.  Wait 2
		hours for wafer to harden.
	5.  Sand surface of wafer until it is smooth to the touch.
		Number 5 grit is recommended.
	6.  Divide wafer into a series of rectangles, each of which is
		3.5 centimeters by 1.2 centimeters.  Accuracy counts,
		so make those lines straight!
	7.  Etch the easy-to-follow schematics for the Intel 80387
		chip onto the wafer in each rectangle.  Each rectangle
		has the potential to be an 80387 processor, so be
		sure to make more than one in case problems develop.
		Remember, the smaller the pattern, the faster the chip,
		so don't be afraid to go for real detail.  A magnifying
		glass may be useful.
	8.  Cut rectangles from the wafer, making sure that you follow
		the lines.  Scissors may be used, although razor blades
		are also useful(5).  Safety scissors are recommended for
		software engineers if this is their first hardware
		project.
	9.  Place rectangle in handy plastic pin-out package(6).
		Be sure to get the rectangle positioned in the middle
		of the package.  Wire pins to indicated areas on
		the 80387 schematics.  You may replace the supplied
		18-gauge wire with  a finer wire if you so desire.
	10.  Glue package top onto package bottom, making sure that
		the top fits firmly.  Take your time.  Remember,
		neatness counts!  Now is not the time to make an
		unsightly error.  Wait for glue to dry (24 hours
		is recommended unless super glue is used(7))
	
				THAT'S IT!!!

	You are now the proud owner of an Intel 80387 processor(8)!!!
	No one will be able to tell the difference between it and
	an actual chip(9)!!!  Plug this chip into your PC and away
	you go!  

	Be sure to look for the 
		Do-It-YOURSELF Intel 80386SX / AMD 80286 kit
			soon to be in stores near you!


		
			Microwave Instructions

	1.  Place PURE SILICON packet in microwave oven.  Set
		heat setting to ultra-ultra-high.  Set time limit
		for 3 minutes.
	
	2.  Place microwave oven in conventional oven on lower
		tray.  Set oven temperature to 1600 degrees
		Centigrade.  Continue with normal instructions
		at step 3.

	Notes:
	1) Only on weekends or between 6pm to 9pm.
	2) Not by us, of course.
	3) Okay, so it isn't from Silicon Valley, but it is from
		California(9)
	4) By someone, I'm sure.
	5) Especially when things go really wrong.
	6) What, you don't have a handy plastic pin-out package?
		Shame on you!
	7) In which case, the package is probably glued to your fingers.
		That's okay, it should make digital calculations
		run faster.
	8) Or at least a close facsimile.
	9) Unless they look, of course.
	10) Okay, so it isn't from California, but it is DIRT.