X-NEWS: spcvxb rec.humor.funny: 1902 Relay-Version: VMS News - V6.0-3 14/03/90 VAX/VMS V5.4; site spcvxb.spc.edu Path: spcvxb.spc.edu!rutgers!mcnc!decwrl!looking!funny-request Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny Subject: fifty ways to hose your code Message-ID: From: deforest@sundae11.dab.ge.com Date: 3 Jun 92 23:30:03 GMT Keywords: original, smirk, computer Approved: funny@clarinet.com Lines: 53 Credit for this also belongs to Al Pena. -- Miles _____________________________________________________________________________ Fifty Ways to Hose Your Code ----- ---- -- ---- ---- ---- Kind of by Paul Simon The problem's all inside your code she said to me; Recursion is easy if you take it logically. I'm here to help you if you're struggling to learn C, There must be fifty ways to hose your code. She said it's really not my habit to #include, And I hope my files won't be lost or misconstrued; But I'll recompile at the risk of getting screwed, There must be fifty ways to hose your code. Just blow up the stack Jack, Make a bad call Paul, Just hit the wrong key Lee, And set your pointers free. Just mess up the bus Gus, You don't need to recurse much, You just listen to me. She said it greives me to see you compile again. I wish there were some hardware that wasn't such a pain. I said I appreciate that and could you please explain, About the fifty ways. She said why don't we both just work on it tonight, And I'm sure in the morning it'll be working just right. Then she hosed me and I realized she probably was right, There must be fifty ways to hose your code. Just lose the address Les, Clear the wrong Int Clint, Traverse the wrong tree Lee, And set your list free. Just mess up the bus Gus, You don't need to recurse much, You just program in C. -- Selected by Brad Templeton. MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com. Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. Remember: PLEASE spell check and proofread your jokes. You think I have time to hand-correct everybody's postings?